Guide Me Home
by Qwi-Xux
Summary: They were engulfed in war and had already lost so much when circumstance pulled them together. - Eventual Ursa/Hakoda, takes place during the show without contradicting canon. -COMPLETE-
1. The Innkeeper

**A/N: **This will be a chaptered Ursa/Hakoda story, interweaving with the events of the show. I'm going to write it so that it doesn't contradict anything in the canon of Avatar.

My profound thanks to Rachel, Emma, Ryke, Kate, Faith, and Matt for helping me with this, whether it was helping me work out characterization, offering suggestions, finding out information, letting me ramble, or anything else.

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't you know that Avatar is _still _not mine?

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**Chapter One - The Innkeeper**

There was a storm coming. Ursa watched the gray clouds gathering out over the ocean as she worked in her garden, pulling up weeds and plucking a few herbs here and there for use at suppertime. She had a good view of the sea, looking down a rolling hill and past the cottages of several villagers. A few boats were hurrying to get to port before they were caught in the coming gale.

"Ursa!" Len, the young girl who worked at Ursa's inn a few days a week, burst out the back door, twisting her hands in agitation.

Ursa stood, quickly tucking her herbs into her apron. "What's wrong, Len?"

"They're back! The soldiers! They aren't due for another week, at least!"

Ursa's stomach clenched, but she maintained her calm, reaching out to lay a hand on Len's arm. "I'll handle this. Please stay out here until they're gone."

"Y-yes, ma'am."

Bracing herself, Ursa walked into the inn. She could hear their voices before she had made her way to the front room, where a counter and a group of tables greeted anyone who walked inside. One of those tables was currently occupied by a married couple and their three children, and they were clearly apprehensive of the Fire Nation soldiers standing around the door.

The leader of the soldiers flicked his eyes over Ursa. "Ahh, if it isn't our generous innkeeper."

The knot in her stomach squeezed tighter. "Unfortunately, my generosity is running very low at the moment. You claimed most of my earnings three days ago." They'd taken most of her earnings that they'd been able to see, anyway. She wasn't stupid enough to keep all of her money where anyone else could find it.

"You've obviously had some business since then," the leader responded, walking toward the family who was watching the exchange with fear in their eyes. "Perhaps we should deal with your customers if you can't bear to part with the money they gave you."

The littlest child at the table whimpered, but Ursa already had her coin box out and was opening it. "That won't be necessary."

She waited, fury boiling beneath her cool composure, as they took all of the money in the box. "The Fire Nation appreciates your contribution," the lead soldier called as they kicked over one of her tables and filed out the door.

A low rumble of thunder sounded as the door closed, and Ursa let out a long breath. "Are you all right?" she asked her guests as the husband jumped up to help her right the table.

"F-fine," the young wife stuttered. "Do they…come here often?"

Ursa's fingers clenched the table. "That depends on what you consider often. The Fire Nation set up a patrol base two towns west from here about three months ago. They seem to feel it necessary to harass the nearby villages." They didn't have enough soldiers to fully control the village where she lived, but they did their best to make their presence felt. They were bullies and cowards, and there was always such deep anger in her when she saw them. Anger, and shame. Sometimes she wasn't sure which was stronger, but in the end she knew that her shame had the deepest roots and it could choke out everything else if she let it. "I apologize. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Her guests exchanged glances and told her no, but the husband added, "I think we'll be moving along shortly."

"Of course." Ursa nodded at them and made her way out back again.

Len was holding onto the doorframe, peering cautiously around. "Are they gone?" she whispered.

"For now." Ursa sent her inside and checked to make sure the garden was in order before stepping back into the inn. "Len!" she called. "I need to take some bread and jam over to Misaki. Watch the inn until I return, please."

"Yes, ma'am!" Len called from somewhere upstairs.

Ursa gathered up a loaf of bread, some appleberry jam, and her umbrella. The first thick raindrops were beginning to fall when she stepped onto the street. She made her way to the heart of town, where street vendors were hastily closing their shops and tucking wares into compartments so they wouldn't get ruined in the rain.

Ursa turned to one of the houses, attached in a row with others just like it, and knocked swiftly on the door. "Misaki? It's Ursa. I brought you the bread and jam I promised."

It was a moment before the door opened. The woman who stood just inside was leaning on her cane, making her seem far shorter than she already was. Her white hair was pulled up into a neat knot on her head and she peered up at Ursa with pale eyes that were getting increasingly blind with every passing day. "Ah, Ursa dear. I'm glad you're here. Come in, come in."

Ursa stepped inside the house as thunder pealed again, much louder.

"Dreadful weather," Misaki muttered, ushering Ursa toward the sitting room. "Felt it coming. These old bones are at least good for that much."

Ursa smiled as she set the bread and jam on a low table.

"Oh, lovely. I'll get the tea," Misaki said.

"I can—" Ursa began, but Misaki pointed firmly to one of the cushions on the floor.

"You can sit right down, missy, that's what you can do. You're my guest, and I will fix the tea. If you really want to help, you can get some of that bread and jam ready and we'll have it with our tea."

It was a few minutes later, as they both sat eating bread and sipping tea, that Misaki stretched a gnarled hand across the table and patted Ursa's arm. "You work too hard, you know. Running that inn, helping your neighbors, and that's among _other_ things." Here, she gave Ursa a significant look. "Sometimes you just need to let others look after _you_."

Ursa met Misaki's eyes and her voice was carefully neutral when she spoke. "I owe so much more than I can ever give back."

Misaki pursed her lips. "So you always say, but I have a hard time believing it."

_If only you knew_. The guilt, never very far away, prickled the edges Ursa's conscience and she quickly swallowed a mouthful of tea, grateful when Misaki said no more on the matter. They finished their snack amiably while the storm raged, wind howling and thunder clapping almost loud enough to shake the house. Only then did Misaki finally get to the real reason Ursa had come. She pulled a sealed scroll out of her robes and handed it to Ursa. "There you go. Be careful, Ursa."

"I always am." Ursa slipped the scroll into the inner pocket of her own robes. It was thanks to Misaki that she had ended up doing this work for the Earth Kingdom army. The old woman had taken Ursa under wing during the worst time in her life and had helped her through so much, even if "helping" her sometimes consisted of being pushed and prodded and lectured like a little girl.

Ursa wasn't exactly sure how long it had been since the Earth Kingdom army had established an underground network with various citizens to deliver information, provide safehouses, gather information and intelligence, and perform a multitude of other tasks. As efficient as it was, she expected it had been going on for a long time. As owner of the only inn in the area, Ursa was able to do a lot of things and see a lot of people that might otherwise have made her look very suspicious. Misaki handled as much as she could and watched Ursa's back with a fierceness that belied her frail appearance.

Ursa rose to her feet when Misaki did, bowing respectfully to her. "Thank you for the tea."

"Won't you at least wait until the storm is over before you head out?"

"Thank you, but I have guests to attend to and I have a feeling this storm is going to be a while."

"Well, be safe, dear. Thank you for the bread and jam. It was delicious." Misaki led her back to the door and saw her out into the downpour.

At least the thunder and lightning wasn't as bad as it had been while she was in Misaki's home, but the rain was still coming down fast. The wind was blowing too hard to use the umbrella, so she tucked it tightly under her arm and hurried back to the inn, the weight of the scroll bouncing against her side.

When Ursa arrived home, it turned out she didn't have any guests to attend to after all; the young family had left as soon as she had gone to visit Misaki, and there were no other customers. The storm finally eased into a steady rainfall, and Len scurried home before it could chance getting worse again.

Ursa spent the early evening tidying the inn and making herself dinner. Night fell as she tossed herbs into a small pot of soup. The rain finally ceased, allowing the moon to peek out from behind the clouds and shine through her windows.

Her soup was almost done when she heard the bell over the front door jangle. Wiping her hands on her apron, she left the soup simmering and headed for the front room, where a strange man stood just inside the door. He bowed slightly at her as soon as he saw her. "Good evening."

"Good evening." Ursa greeted him with a bow of her own. "Are you looking for a room?"

"Ah, no. I'm here for other reasons." The man looked at her meaningfully. "May the sun shine upon your path."

"And may the moon guide your steps," she replied.

Smiling slightly, the man took a step toward her, and his movement set off a warning in Ursa for reasons she couldn't quite pinpoint. There was something about the way he held himself and the way he walked. "How may I help you?" she asked.

"I believe you're holding information for me."

All she had to do was give him the scroll and he would leave. She was supposed to give it to him; he'd already given her the correct phrase used between the members of the Earth Kingdom underground. There was still something that seemed off about him, though, and she had not survived all these years by ignoring her instincts. She wanted to figure out what was bothering her before she handed over anything.

The man walked all the way up to the counter, and it hit her like a sack of rocks why his movements bothered her. How many years had she spent in the royal court, studying all the subtleties of body language? How many years had she spent among firebenders? This man walked like a firebender.

Her mind raced with questions. What was a firebender doing here? Had he infiltrated the Earth Kingdom network? How much did he know? He could have captured the person who was really supposed to pick up the scroll, or he could have been working undercover for the Fire Nation for a while.

A small part of her whispered, _And what if he isn't a Fire Nation spy? What if he isn't even a firebender? What if you're wrong? And even if he is a firebender, how do you know he's not like you and really working for the Earth Kingdom? It's unlikely, but not impossible._

"Is everything all right?" the man asked her.

She couldn't give the scroll to him without knowing. She couldn't take that risk. If he was a Fire Nation spy who had had somehow infiltrated the Earth Kingdom underground, they were all in a lot of trouble.

The weight of the scroll in her pocket suddenly seemed far heavier than it should have and her heart was pounding so loudly she could hear it. If she had to, she would find out what was on the scroll and deliver the information herself. She couldn't be sure she could trust him.

But could she just let him go without knowing if he really was a Fire Nation spy? Even if she convinced him she didn't have the information he was looking for yet, even if she snuck away quietly and got this message into the right hands, she had to know if the Earth Kingdom was in danger from a spy in their citizen network.

Even as she realized that the only way to know for sure was going to be potentially dangerous and life-altering, she knew that she had to do it. Wasn't this what she had signed up for in the first place? She had always known there might be dangers, and there was more than just her at stake right now. She counted slowly to five, made sure she was completely calm and ready, and told the man, "I can't give you anything."

He was beginning to look impatient. "Can I ask why?"

She met his eyes, knowing the impact the next words could have on her entire life. "You're a firebender."

Shock flashed across his face, and then his expression quickly shifted to something else. "I'm sorry?" He tried for innocence. She might have bought it, too, but there was something dangerous in his gaze and demeanor, simmering beneath the surface. "I think you must be confused."

_And I think you have no idea who you're dealing with. _"I'm not confused," she said, positive now. "You are a firebender."

Ursa barely had any warning before he brought his arm up toward her face. She dropped down behind the counter and saw the fire whip over her head. She threw herself toward the door that led out of the front room and to the hallway, but he leapt over the counter and grabbed the back of her robes, jerking her backwards hard enough to slam her into the ground. Sparks exploded in front of her eyes as her head collided with the floor, and she felt the pressure of his foot on her stomach, pinning her in place.

"How did you know?" he demanded.

Ursa blinked and her vision cleared enough to show him standing over her, a fist aimed downward at her face. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would kill her, that he had to kill her to protect his identity.

_"How did you know?_" he shouted.

"How did you infiltrate the Earth Kingdom network?" she shot back. She might not have been a firebender, but she knew something of self-defense. Unfortunately, it had been years since she'd had opportunity or reason to practice it, and longer since she'd learned it in the first place. _Dear spirits, just let me get out of this alive. I need to warn someone about this. _

Ursa brought her leg up and slammed her foot into his groin, and the pressure of his foot on her stomach disappeared. She rolled quickly to the side just as he shot fire toward her face. It struck the ground beside her and scorched the floor. The firebender was doubled over, trying to regain his balance, and she took the opportunity to rise to her feet and slam her hand into his jaw, hearing it crack.

He fell backward with a shout of rage. Fire roared from his mouth and out of his hands. The ceiling, counter, and a tapestry on the wall caught fire. Ursa dove for the front door as the firebender swung his hand in her direction, blasting more flames across the room and toward her. She wrenched the door open and made it outside, only to discover the bottom of her robes had caught fire.

Ursa paused long enough to extinguish the flames, burning one of her hands in the process. Biting back a yelp of pain, she hurried to her feet. If she didn't move, more than her hand was going to be burned.

She started running down the road toward the harbor; it was easier than running uphill toward the town, and she knew she couldn't bring this trouble on her neighbors anyway. She had no idea where she could go or how she was going to get away.

Fire shot past her ear, so close she could feel the heat on her skin, but she didn't look back to see how close her pursuer was. It was dark, wet, muddy, and slippery; all of her attention was focused on not falling.

She was passing the cottages at the bottom of the hill. The beach was right ahead of her, with several boats still docked at the shore. What would she do even if she did reach the harbor? There was nowhere to run.

Ursa heard other shouts then, and in the moonlight, she saw three figures running toward her. Panic seized her—what if she was running straight into more firebenders?

She didn't have much choice in finding out. She was caught between the firebender chasing her and the group in front of her, and going too fast downhill to stop herself. In a heartbeat, the people in front of her were looming; her vision was filled with blue clothes and the glint of metal weapons. Ursa tried to dodge them, but her foot came crashing down into a puddle and she just barely missed slamming into one of them. She slid past him, grabbing onto his arm and using it to swing herself around to keep from falling flat on her face. She pulled him off-balance, but he held his ground, and she released him as she found her footing. She bit down hard on her lip; she had grabbed him with her burned hand and it _hurt_.

Part of her fully expected to get blasted into ashes right then and there. Instead, the man she had collided with held up his weapon—some sort of club or sword. The firebender had caught up with her. He eyed them all for a split second, and then threw fire at them.

Ursa's vision was suddenly blocked by the back of one of her apparent rescuers, and when he moved out of the way, she saw that the firebender was down, crumpled on the ground in the mud. It took her a moment to realize he wasn't dead—she could see his chest moving up and down. One of men in blue knelt down in the mud and began tying the firebender's hands and feet together.

She heard a commotion behind her and turned to see more people coming toward them from some of the boats in the harbor. She tensed, but then realized they were dressed the same as her rescuers. Now that she wasn't fleeing for her life, she got a good look at them, especially since they were all turning to look at her. She had never seen so many blue clothes in one place in her entire life. They were all men; some of them wore their hair longer, with parts of it pulled up. Others had ponytails or headbands. They wore various adornments, belts, and even had bits of fur on their clothes.

_Water Tribe. _Ursa knew part of the Water Tribe had been helping in the Earth Kingdom for many months now, though she'd never chanced to meet any of them. In fact, she hadn't ever seen anyone dressed like them except in history books.

A flare of orange caught her eye, and she looked back up the hill. A dizzying sense of unreality sank down upon her when she saw that her inn—her home, a place built out of pain and hope, a place that had been refuge and sanctuary not only to her, but to others—was being devoured in flames.


	2. The Southern Water Tribe

**A/N: **Thank you to Kelev and JESUSFREAK for reviewing. :)

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**Chapter Two - The Southern Water Tribe**

"Hakoda, there's a storm coming in," Mikko called down into the hold, where Hakoda was pouring over charts and maps. "We're not far from land. Do you want to head in?"

"Where are we?" Hakoda asked.

"Looks like we recently passed Chin Village. Last time we passed this way, there were no Fire Nation patrols, but that was a while ago."

Hakoda nodded slowly, looking down at his maps again. They still had a lot of distance to cover before they reached their destination in the eastern Earth Kingdom. "Let's pull it as close to shore as we can and wait it out there."

"Right."

Hakoda listened as Mikko's footsteps took him back up to the deck, where he began calling orders to the other two ships. Their already tiny fleet had been down one ship since they left a boat behind with Bato. The plan was that he could catch back up with them once he'd recovered from his injuries. It had only been two weeks since they'd had to leave him at the abbey to rest and heal, and already Hakoda felt the loss of his second-in-command and best friend. He had known that Bato handled a lot of the legwork in preparing for missions, but with him temporarily gone, the majority of it was left to Hakoda. He was sure there was some appropriate adage for the situation. Something about being thankful for all the monkey-chicken eggs you had. Or maybe it was something about not putting all your monkey-chicken eggs in one basket? Eh, he was sure there was one about being grateful for what you had. He _had _been grateful, and he'd be even more grateful when Bato was better and back with them.

Rolling up his maps and charts, Hakoda tucked them into his bag and went quickly through the hold, making sure everything that might be thrown around in a storm was secure before heading up to the deck. The sky was thick with clouds, lightning flashed in the distance, and the wind was picking up.

Hakoda had weathered many storms in his lifetime, not to mention other hazards of the ocean. When he first left the South Pole, though, the ocean had been unfamiliar territory. He had been used to storms of ice and snow, blizzards that swept through and kept everyone bundled up inside. In warmer climates, he had been introduced to a whole new set of storms. He had witnessed thunder and lightning and torrential rain that could flood the decks of the ships. In some seasons there were hurricanes off the western coast of the Earth Kingdom.

"Looks like it's going to be a rough ride," Pika shouted at him from over on the second boat.

"Think you can handle it?" Hakoda called back.

"Oh, I think I can handle it. Who was it who lasted longest riding that arctic hippo all those years ago?"

"That would be Bato," Tamoru yelled over to Pika as he walked past Hakoda with a length of rope.

"I don't know where you get _your _information, Tamoru, but I beat Bato by one second!" Pika returned.

Tamoru scoffed. "_Sure_ you did."

A loud crack of thunder drowned out anything Pika might have said in reply, and the skies opened up, dumping what could arguably have been an ocean of water down on top of them.

As predicted, it _was _a rough ride. They anchored close to shore, but with the driving rain and wind Hakoda only got glimpses of the land through it all. Still, when the worst of the storm finally passed and they were left with strong gusts of wind and steady rainfall, all three ships were still floating.

"Good work, everyone!" Hakoda called out to the other ships. "Let's get to shore and we'll do damage assessment."

Night had fallen during the storm, and it was pitch black by the time they had pulled the boats up on the beach. Hakoda could just make out the landscape around the harbor. A sloping hill dotted with a few cottages led up to the silhouette of a town.

They weren't the only sailors who were looking over their ships; some smaller fishing boats had been anchored on the shore and their owners poured over them, looking to see if their boats had suffered any destruction during the storms.

Hakoda gave quick orders for two of the men to stand lookout. In unfamiliar territory, he wanted warning if any firebenders were to come calling. He sent Pika over to talk to the fishermen, to find out if any of them were local and if so, what the situation in the area was. He then joined the others in going carefully over all three ships for damage, using lantern light to aid them in the darkness.

Pika jogged over as Hakoda was running his hands over the bow of one of the ships. "This is the village of Huang." He motioned up the hill toward the shadowed structures. "Not much here, apparently. It's a small village, mostly fishermen. They did say there is no Fire Nation in _this _town, but there's a Fire Nation base a couple of villages over, and patrols come through here on a pretty regular basis."

Hakoda considered only a moment. It was too dark to be sure they would catch all the damage that could have been caused from the storm, even with their lanterns. But if there was a chance the Fire Nation could stumble upon them, it was better to do any necessary repairs in the dark and set off again as quickly as possible. Maybe they had been very lucky and there wouldn't be any damage at all.

The world grew lighter when the clouds cleared enough to allow the moon to shine through. Hakoda glanced up at it and a small smile crossed his face as he continued slowly down the length of the ship. The ocean spirit had been good to them this day, and the moon lent its own sort of encouragement to anyone from the Water Tribe—and particularly to Hakoda.

They had gone over two ships and they were almost done checking over the third when Notu, standing watch at the base of the hill, shouted, "Hakoda!"

Hakoda turned at the urgency in Notu's voice. In the moonlight, he immediately saw what had caught Notu's attention. Someone was running down the hill toward the harbor, and directly behind that person was someone shooting fire out of his fists.

"Prepare for battle!" Hakoda shouted, already running toward Notu and Tamoru where they were standing watch. "But hold back until we see if there are more soldiers!" He motioned to Notu and Tamoru, and they ran with him to aid whoever was being chased by the firebender.

It was a woman, Hakoda realized as he got closer. Cold fury swept through him and he put on a burst of speed, determined to reach her before the firebender did. She was moving faster than he had originally thought, and for half a second he was sure she was going to run straight into him. She slid past him, grabbing his arm and tugging him sharply to the side. He paused long enough to make sure they were both steady, but his attention was focused on the firebender who had stopped in front of them.

Hakoda shifted in front of the woman as the firebender blasted flames at them. Notu slid in underneath the fire, shoving the firebender's arm out of the way and clocking him on the head with his club. He dropped to the ground, unconscious. As Tamoru began tying him up, some more of the men came from the beach, wary eyes trained for more firebenders.

Hakoda faced the woman who had been fleeing. Even with only the moon for light, he could see that she wasn't in the best shape. Her green robes were muddy and partly burned. He opened his mouth to ask if she was hurt, but her horrified gaze stopped him and he turned to see what she was looking at.

One of the cottages at the top of the hill was burning. Flames were leaping from all sides and from the roof, and he knew instantly that there would be no saving it. He turned back to the woman, but she was already sprinting past all of them, scrambling up the hill toward the fire as fast as she could go.

"Tamoru, get that firebender over to the beach," Hakoda instructed. "Keep watch over him. The rest of you, get the ships ready for departure in case more trouble is coming. Pika, come with me; we're going to see if we can find out what's going on here."

:-:-:-:-:

Ursa was running before she had registered that her feet were even moving. Fighting her way back up the hill on the muddy road was so much slower than coming down. Time already seemed to be warped and far too slow as she slipped and landed on her hands in the mud. Her burned hand was a distant, throbbing pain, something she could focus on later when her life wasn't falling apart.

She shoved herself back to her feet, not sure what she thought she was doing. Not sure what she thought she could do. Her inn was burning from the inside out, and she knew she couldn't save it. Maybe if it had still been raining, it would have helped, but the fire was too much, too hot. It was consuming even the rain-soaked roof and outer walls.

Her neighbors were out of their houses. Tan, the man who lived just up the road, was shouting her name and she finally found her voice. "Tan!"

He whirled and spotted her, his expression of relief visible in the light of the roaring fire. "Ursa! Thank the spirits; we feared you were trapped inside. What happened?"

More people were running from town, some of them carrying buckets. Ursa fought the sudden absurd urge to laugh. Buckets of water were going to be useless against this blaze.

She stared at the burning inn, vaguely noting that two of the Water Tribe men—the one she had nearly knocked over and another one—had followed her up the hill.

"Ursa?" Tan squeezed her shoulder.

"Firebender," she said, realizing he was still waiting for an answer to his question. "It was a firebender."

Several of the townsfolk within hearing distance began muttering to each other, and Tan's face darkened. "Did the patrols come back and do this?"

"No." Ursa still felt so dazed, numb, like she was standing outside herself and watching this happen. Why should she be surprised? Watching her inn burn was just like watching a culmination of the rest of her life. Maybe she had just gotten too comfortable, felt too safe.

Tan looked over Ursa's shoulder and spotted the Water Tribe warriors. "Who are you?" he demanded.

"Hakoda." The man she had run into extended his hand toward Tan, who eyed him for a moment before grasping his arm in return. "This is Pika," he said, motioning to his companion.

"Water Tribe?"

"Yes."

Ursa swiveled away from the three men, away from her inn, clenching her hands into fists. What now? The scroll in her pocket was safe, but she was responsible for it. She had no idea what information was on it, but she was going to have to find out.

She needed to talk to Misaki. Misaki had to know that at least one firebender had infiltrated their network. She would know the best way to get that information to the people who could do something with it. Misaki _was _Ursa's contact, the person she was supposed to go to if she got into trouble. Outside of Misaki, Ursa only knew the names of a few other people in the underground, and the faces of the ones who had passed through her inn, but she had no idea how to reach any them.

"Ursa!" Tan called after her as she turned and ran for town. She ignored him, ignored the inn, ignored everything except what she had to do right then.

More townspeople ran past her, no doubt on their way to see her burning home, but she pushed past them all until she had reached Misaki's door. A sudden dread crawled into her stomach when she saw it was already open. Had Misaki left the house and gone down to the inn with the other townsfolk, and Ursa had missed seeing her?

Opening the door, Ursa poked her head inside. "Misaki?" she called. There was no answer, so she stepped cautiously into the house. "Misaki!"

Her knees went weak when she walked into the sitting room. The low table where she and Misaki had shared tea and bread earlier that day was overturned. There were scorch marks on the walls. Misaki's home had stone walls, otherwise her place would probably have burned, too. The cushions were scattered haphazardly across the floor.

Firebenders had been here. Had they killed her? Captured her? There was no body in the sitting room. Ursa ran frantically through the rest of the house, but the only room that was wrecked was the sitting room. There was no sign of Misaki, dead or alive.

She stumbled back into the sitting room before her knees gave way. She sank to the ground, staring at the destruction. This didn't make sense. Why had firebenders come for Misaki? She had a hard time believing it could be coincidental that it had happened the same day a Fire Nation spy showed up at the inn. Ursa had been working in this village for _years _without running into trouble like this. Misaki had been here even longer.

Something on the floor caught her eyes, and she leaned forward, closing her fingers around a small object. Lifting it up to her eye, she realized it was a white lotus Pai Sho tile.

She hesitated and then tucked it into the pocket of her robe, her hand bumping against the scroll that was still safely tucked away. Forcing herself to her feet, she walked out of Misaki's house. She didn't know how long she had before the nearby Fire Nation base realized something was going on in the town. Unless they already knew, and they had been the ones to take Misaki.

There were too many questions and she had no answers—but there was someone who _did _have answers.

She walked back toward her still-burning inn, and her anger swiftly overtook her numbness with each step. Her initial adrenaline was also wearing off, and she was really beginning to feel how much her burned hand hurt. She took several deep breaths and forced herself to focus only on what was happening. She could take care of her hand later. She had been burned worse than this in the past.

By the time she got back to her blazing home and the crowd around it, everything seemed sharp and clear, and she knew exactly what she had to do. She sought out anyone clad in blue and didn't see any of the Water Tribe men among the townsfolk. She found her neighbor again. "Tan."

"Ursa! Where did you go? I'm…look, I'm sorry about your inn. You're more than welcome to stay with me and Mari for as long as you need and we'll sort this out."

"I can't." Ursa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I can't stay right now. Thank you, Tan. You and Mari have been wonderful neighbors and better friends."

Tan's weathered face screwed into an expression of suspicion. "Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?"

"I am. For now, at least. Keep Mari and your children safe, Tan. Keep our town safe."

"Ursa!"

She was already turning away from the latest destruction of her life, but she could still see the light from the flames casting shadows all around her. She picked up her pace, back down the hill, back to the harbor and her only hope for answers.

:-:-:-:-:

Hakoda had barely arrived back at the beach and was debating over putting a firebender, even if he was bound, on one of their ships when Pika nudged him. He looked over to see the woman at the heart of all of this walking onto the beach.

Ursa, her neighbor had told Hakoda. He had said she was a kind woman, if reserved, and that she had owned the inn in Huang for four years. _"Ursa wouldn't hurt a gnat-fly. It's not right that something like this should happen to her."_

As she approached, she stopped and spoke to Notu, who was standing guard again. Notu pointed at Hakoda and said something in reply.

Ursa made her way over to Hakoda. Despite her haphazard appearance, she held herself straight and met his eyes squarely as she stopped in front of him. "You're Chief Hakoda?"

"I am." He extended an arm to her, and she carefully grasped it, but with the wrong hand.

"I'm Ursa. I need to talk to the firebender you captured, if he's conscious."

"He's not." Hakoda motioned over to the other side of the beach, away from the boats, where several of the warriors were guarding the tied-up firebender. "And maybe first you can explain why you need to talk to him?"

Ursa hesitated. She glanced around at the men on the beach as they stood guard, finished looking for damage on the last ship, or prepared for what might be a quick departure. "You're the same Water Tribe that's been aiding the Earth Kingdom in the war?"

"That's us. Southern Water Tribe," he said proudly.

"Then you might know." She paused. "May the sun shine upon your path."

Hakoda hadn't been expecting that. Well, maybe some of this would soon make more sense. "And may the moon guide your steps," he replied. "So you're Earth Kingdom underground." He had met several members of the citizens who aided the Earth Kingdom army over the past two years. They had delivered messages to him and saved the lives of him and his companions before. It was also significant because the Water Tribe's latest mission tied directly into some strange things occurring in the underground, and as a result, in some of the army's plans.

"Yes," Ursa agreed. "And apparently, so was the firebender."

"What?"

Ursa shook her head. "I need—"

"Hakoda!" Notu shouted. "Fire Nation soldiers at the top of the hill! I can't tell how many, but they're heading this direction!"

Hakoda briefly weighed his options. Stand and fight against an unknown number of soldiers, possibly win. Or stand and fight, win, and possibly have their boats set on fire. Or lose and subject the village to the wrath of the soldiers. He also had the captive firebender and now this woman with potential information to consider.

"Let's go!" he called. "Get our prisoner on board! Anchors up and shove off!"

"I'm coming with you," Ursa told him.

Hakoda nodded. He would sort out her part in this when he had all of them safely away from whatever was happening there.


	3. Cast Off

**A/N: **Thanks to Kelev, Jini, things24, JFAPOI, and b1uski3sxox for reviewing!

* * *

**Chapter Three - Cast Off**

The three Water Tribe ships were safely away from the shore by the time the Fire Nation soldiers reached it. Several of them shot fire toward the boats, but the flames fell short of them.

They sailed for open sea, and it wasn't until the land was a speck in the distance that Hakoda turned the sailing over to the rest of his men and brought his full attention to the woman standing silently to the side. Their prisoner was still unconscious, lying against the port side of the ship, guarded by Mikko. He was tied up with his fists and feet pointed in such a way that if he tried to firebend, he would likely catch himself on fire, and a gag was stuffed into his mouth so he couldn't breathe it at them. Despite this, they weren't going to take any chances. Maybe he'd be one of those soldiers that would sooner die than be taken prisoner.

Ursa was staring over at the firebender, her expression guarded. She was also, Hakoda noticed, cradling one hand carefully against her stomach—the same hand she had avoided using to grasp his arm when introducing herself.

Hakoda took a step toward her and her eyes flashed over to his. They were a shade that wasn't quite brown, but almost a gold color, and unlike her carefully neutral expression, her eyes shone with a mixture of pain and anger.

"Are you hurt?" he asked her.

"I'm fine," she replied instantly. Then she paused, glancing down at her hand. "I have a small burn," she conceded. She unfolded her hand and in the moonlight, Hakoda could see that where the palm of her hand wasn't covered in dirt, it was red and already blistering. He had seen much worse, but it had to still be painful.

"Come with me." Hakoda headed for the hold, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Ursa was following. She shot another glance over at the firebender, but went after Hakoda. He borrowed a lantern that Tamoru was holding and climbed the ladder down below deck. Ursa descended quickly, careful not to touch the rungs with her burned hand, and entered the first room with him. It was crisscrossed with hammocks for sleeping. Furs were fastened to the floors, and various boxes and supplies were bundled and tied in the corner. Barrels of fresh water were secured in another corner.

Ursa stopped in the doorway as Hakoda hung the lantern on the wall and collected a small amount of water in a bucket, some cloths, and ointment for her hand. He set it all on the floor and motioned her over.

She stepped slowly toward him, her eyes darting over to the bear pelt on the floor.

Hakoda patted its stuffed head. "He doesn't bite, I promise."

One eyebrow rose, but Ursa didn't respond as she knelt on the ground in front of the supplies. As soon as Hakoda opened the ointment, the potent smell assailed his nose and Ursa sucked in a sharp breath. "What _is _that?"

"For your burn," Hakoda said. "It's made from seal blubber and arctic algae. It'll fix you up in no time."

Ursa looked at the ointment dubiously, but washed and dried her muddy hands. She wrinkled her nose as she scooped some of the blubber-algae ointment out and spread it on her burn.

Hakoda held out another strip of cloth. "You should wrap that. Here." He started to reach for her hand, but she snatched it away.

"I can do it." Her voice was tense, and Hakoda rolled back on his heels and held the cloth out toward her. More quietly, she said, "Thank you." As she took the cloth and began to wrap her hand, she added, as if in explanation, "It's been a very long night. That firebender tried to kill me, my home burned down, and my friend…" Her breath hitched and she cleared her throat. "My friend is missing." She finished wrapping her hand and dropped it into her lap.

"Maybe now would be a good time to tell me what's going on."

Ursa stared down at the bucket of muddy water, her gaze distant as she nodded. She told him the events that had led up to her joining him on the boat. Hakoda listened as she described her suspicions that the man who came into her inn was a firebender, her subsequent flight and then her return to the house of her friend and contact for the underground.

Only when she had finished did he ask, "Why did you suspect him of being a firebender?"

Ursa didn't answer immediately. When she did, it was with careful deliberation. "I was raised among nobility and trained to recognize body language. I can tell if someone is an earthbender by the way they move. I can tell if someone is a firebender the same way."

"Really."

She looked at him quickly, her expression becoming even more closed. "You don't believe me?"

"Oh, I believe you. It's just seems like it would be very handy. We're all trained warriors, but I can't tell if someone's a bender by the way they move." He ran a hand thoughtfully over his chin. "What about this scroll of yours?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe we should find out."

Ursa still did not produce the scroll. "I've never done this aspect of work for the underground. I didn't even have contacts outside of Misaki. She was the one with the connections. I just passed messages to whoever came to collect them and offered a hideout for those who needed it."

"That sounds like a lot to me."

"I should have known more."

Hakoda shook his head. "There's more to this than anyone might know. We had a mission a couple of weeks ago that should have been easy in, easy out. Obviously, not all plans go smoothly, but the Fire Nation shouldn't have known we were coming. They got the jump on us and nearly killed my second-in-command, Bato. We had to leave him at an abbey to recover."

"I'm sorry." Ursa finally dug into her robes and pulled out a sealed scroll. She looked at it for a long moment before breaking the seal on it and unrolling it. She read it and handed it to Hakoda, who looked down at the message.

_Deliver the enclosed message to General Ling at the Earth Kingdom base outside of Gaoling. _

There was another message rolled up with the first—obviously, the message for General Ling, but it was a mix of symbols and characters that made no sense. It must have been in code. There was a set of coordinates for the army base, and he nodded, rolling the scroll up again and handing it back to Ursa, who tucked it back into her robes.

Hakoda got up and gathered up the bucket, dirty cloths, and ointment. "We got in touch with General Fong at the army base near Omashu and he mentioned that quite a few of these 'mishaps' have been happening around the Earth Kingdom, but especially along the eastern and southern coasts," he continued, stuffing the cloths into a bag of dirty laundry and putting the ointment away. "He believes that the civilian underground or the military—or both—have been compromised. There have been instances the past few months of members of the underground disappearing. Some of them disappeared without a trace; others had evidence that firebenders were involved, as you described with your friend Misaki's house. There have also been instances were the army's missions were compromised, where the Fire Nation seemed to know what they had planned." He motioned to Ursa to follow and headed for the door with the bucket of dirty water in hand, reclaiming the lantern from its hook.

Ursa rose to her feet and followed him. "So you're out here to investigate?" she asked as he clambered up the ladder, bucket and lantern held in one hand.

"Yes. We've made a lot of contacts in the underground over the past couple of years, since we've been doing so much traveling. General Fong thought we might have some luck with finding out what's going on. Knowing that there's at least one firebender who infiltrated gives us a really good place to start." Hakoda stood at the top of the ladder and waited for Ursa to climb out.

He walked past Tamoru and Ronook, motioning at them as he headed over to where Mikko was still guarding the unconscious firebender. "Tamoru, Ronook, Mikko," he pointed at each of them, "this is Ursa. Ursa, them." He handed Tamoru his lantern and dumped the dirty water from the bucket into the ocean.

"It's so nice to be a _'them_,'" Mikko said dryly. "So, Ursa, what'd you do to make this guy so mad at you?" He nudged the firebender with his toe.

"She's part of the Earth Kingdom's underground. I'll fill everyone in on the whole situation once we dock," Hakoda said before Ursa had to rehash everything she'd told him. "Right now, we're taking our prisoner to General Ling. He can question him in a place that's more secure than our ships. We'll also be delivering the general a message that Ursa is carrying." He nodded at her. "We can either escort you to General Ling, or we can take the message ourselves and you can go your own way as soon as we dock."

Ursa stared down at the firebender. "No. I want to deliver it myself. If you're taking this man to the general for questioning, I want to be there if he gives any answers. How long will it take us to reach the army base?"

"We've been to this base once before," Tamoru spoke up. "It will take a couple of days of sailing from here. It's not far off shore, but it's concealed in the mountains right next to Gaoling. Unless General Ling has moved?"

"No, the coordinates looked to be the same." Hakoda glanced at the firebender. "Tamoru, will you let the other boats know where we're headed? And we'll need to set up a guard rotation for our prisoner. Unless it rains, I want to keep him up on deck."

"Got it," Tamoru crossed his arms. "Notu can take over from Mikko. Hakoda, you can cover him after Notu, and I'll take a shift after that."

Tamoru hurried across the deck to tell the others what was happening, and Hakoda faced Ursa again. "I'm afraid we don't have a lot of room, especially since we left one of our ships behind with Bato. I don't have the space to give you somewhere private to sleep." They were definitely not used to having a woman on board. He couldn't even offer her any clothes to replace her filthy, singed robes.

"You don't need to worry about me. I won't be here very long. And I can sleep on the deck," Ursa assured.

Hakoda nodded; that would work as long as it didn't storm, and if it did, they could move her somewhere below deck for the duration of the rain. "Ronook, will you take our guest and help her find any supplies she might need? Some spare blankets, something to eat if she's hungry—"

"Sure thing." Ronook waved at Ursa. "Come on, we'll get you set up in no time."

Ursa gave the firebender one last look before accompanying Ronook back toward the hold. No sooner had they gone below deck than Mikko said, "I think our prisoner is waking up."

Hakoda turned to see the firebender rousing. It was only a few seconds before his eyes snapped open and he began struggling before he realized he was securely tied and gagged. He looked frantically around and glared at everyone within eyesight, then froze when Mikko aimed a spear at his throat.

"Better get used to it," Hakoda told him in a hard voice. "You're in for a nice long imprisonment. It's your choice whether you arrive conscious or not."

:-:-:-:-:

Hakoda's shift to watch the firebender started several hours before dawn. He'd managed to get a few hours of sleep in his hammock and he stifled a yawn as he climbed the ladder and relieved Notu of the job. The firebender was still awake, shooting hate-filled looks at them, but so far he hadn't tried anything. They had given him water to drink earlier in the night, while holding weapons at ready in case he tried to breathe fire at them.

The sky was completely clear of clouds now, and the pale moon glistened brightly against the boat and the water. Hakoda took a seat close enough to the prisoner to stop him quickly should he cause trouble, holding his club loosely in one hand. Two of the other warriors were manning the ship, and across the water, several other figures were keeping the rest of the boats sailing.

On the starboard side of the ship, Ursa was lying on blankets, her back to Hakoda. He hoped that at least she was getting some rest this night, but given everything that had just happened, he wasn't surprised when she eventually rolled over and looked at the prisoner, and then at Hakoda. After a moment, she stood and walked toward Hakoda, her face drawn and exhausted.

"Did you get any sleep?" Hakoda asked quietly, keeping an eye trained on his prisoner as Ursa approached.

"A bit." Ursa folded her arms and very formally asked, "May I join you?"

Hakoda waved at the deck beside him and she sat near him, straight-backed and with a wary eye toward the firebender.

"I never really thanked you for all of your help," Ursa began.

Hakoda shook his head. "We were just in the right place at the right time. But you're welcome." He paused, then added, "I'm sorry about your home—and your friend."

"It's not the first one I've lost." Her voice was short, and it was clear from her tone that she didn't want to talk about it. Instead, she turned the conversation around on him. "So you're from the South Pole."

"Yes."

"When was the last time you were there?"

"It's been two years since we left."

There was a heavy, tired silence before Ursa said, "You must miss it terribly."

Hakoda glanced briefly up at the moon, keeping the firebender in his peripheral vision. His thoughts drifted across the miles to the ice and snow of the South Pole. He thought of waking up to the sound of seals, of watching penguins waddle through the village while the children tried to catch them. Most of all, he thought of the two children who meant everything to him. They would be sleeping snugly in the village right now, and he could picture their peacefully sleeping faces as if it hadn't been two years since he had last seen them. An all-too-familiar ache rose in him and he murmured, "Yes."

When he looked at Ursa, it was to find her staring out at the ocean, her expression filled with pain. Almost as soon as he saw it, she schooled her face into that neutral mask she had been wearing all evening. She couldn't take the pain away from her eyes, though; it stood out clearly, another sharp indication of everything she had just lost. Her home, her friend, her livelihood—everything familiar had been stripped of her in one night.

Clearing her throat, Ursa asked, "Are any of you waterbenders?"

"No." Hakoda's grip on his club tightened. "The Fire Nation made sure we didn't have any waterbenders left. Raids," he clarified, seeing her frown. "They raided our home and captured any waterbenders they could find." His mind turned to his daughter, and the ache within him deepened. "I don't know what shape the Northern Tribe is in, but waterbenders are nonexistent in the South Pole." Save one, and while Katara remained there, he would always be careful to keep her identity as a waterbender from strangers, however trustworthy they may be, particularly with a firebender prisoner sitting so close. "If we can't end this war, I'm afraid the Water Tribe will go the same way as the Air Nomads."

Ursa looked away. "I didn't realize it was so dire. The Water Tribes have been so far removed from—"

"Everyone?" Hakoda interjected, a wry smile settling on his face.

"I was going to say everything I know," Ursa replied. "I've heard rumors and stories of the warriors of the Water Tribe helping the Earth Kingdom, but meeting you is like meeting a living legend."

"Don't tell that to the rest of the men," Hakoda said in a low voice. "It will go to their heads."

Ursa eyes moved over to the warriors sailing the ship. "You're rather different than I imagined."

"Oh?" Hakoda crossed his arms and leaned back. "What did you imagine differently? Let me guess. We're taller than you imagined. More rugged? It's our good looks, isn't it? Well, I can't blame you there. We _are_ a handsome bunch. Except for Tamoru," he said, raising his voice as he saw Tamoru heading toward them with his spear in hand. "It's because of his face that we got such a fearsome reputation, you know."

"What's that about our fearsome reputation?" Tamoru folded his arms and shook his head. "Don't let Hakoda fool you; it's all his doing. He sends children screaming in terror when they see him."

Ursa gave them an odd sort of look, and Hakoda knew if Bato had been there, he would have been groaning and rolling his eyes. Hakoda considered his blithe banter a success, though—it lightened some of the heartache in Ursa's eyes and the barest smile played at the corners of her mouth. "I'd have to say the sense of humor has something to do with it," she said.

"Hakoda's sense of humor _is_ pretty scary." Tamoru grinned as he sat down on Hakoda's other side, settling his spear across his legs. "My shift," he told Hakoda. "Go get some sleep. Better get to it while you can; Mikko's not snoring for once."

Ursa stood when Hakoda did, smoothing a hand over her ruined robes. "I should try to get some sleep, too," she said quietly.

"See, Tamoru, you're scaring her away already." Hakoda winked at Ursa. "If you need anything, just ask any of the men."

"Thank you."

Hakoda waited until she was settled back on her blankets and then nodded at Tamoru, who nodded back, silently affirming that he would keep an eye on their guest as well as their prisoner. With one last glance at the moon, his mind still full of memories of his home and his children, Hakoda retreated below deck.


	4. Memories

**A/N: **Thanks to JFAPOI, b1uski3sxox, and blknblupanther1 for reviewing!

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**Chapter Four - Memories**

_Her world was broken. Shattered into so many pieces she wasn't sure she would ever be able to find them, let alone put them back together. Everything she knew—no, everything she thought she knew—had just been ripped out from under her. She was sinking beneath the surface and didn't even have time to catch her breath. Not if she wanted to save her son's life._

_She stared into her husband's eyes and it was like looking into the eyes of a stranger. How had it come to this? How had _he _come to this? How had she come to this point without realizing just how far Ozai was willing to go for his own stake on power? _

_"How could you?" Ursa's voice was too quiet; she could still hardly breathe. "He's your _son._" _

_Ozai's gaze was cold, his face a hard mask. She couldn't deny that she and Ozai had grown increasingly distant over the years. She couldn't deny knowing that Ozai paid far more attention to Azula than to Zuko. She knew that Azula was the prodigy that he had always dreamed of having, that he considered Zuko a disappointment, and also knew that this had absolutely affected their marriage. There had been arguments, very early on, between Ursa and Ozai over Zuko. Ozai thought he was soft and told Ursa that she was only contributing to making him weaker. She had always defended Zuko, even though she had learned early on that keeping her silence with Ozai was often better than participating in an argument over Zuko._

_But when she had heard Azula's confession to overhearing the conversation between Azulon and Ozai, she hadn't really thought that Ozai was capable of this. Not really. _

_Now as Ozai stared at her with those unbearably icy eyes, he spoke the words that sealed her doom. Zuko's doom. "It's for the good of the Fire Nation."_

_Something in Ursa exploded, and she leapt at Ozai, her voice finally matching the roiling fury she felt. "He's your _son!_" she screamed, trying to hit him, trying to shake him, to get any sense at all out of him. _

_She managed to land one hand on Ozai before he grabbed her wrists and pushed her backwards. She caught herself before she fell and when she looked at Ozai again, it was to see him still glowering at her with that deadly expression. "Don't you understand?" he demanded. "This isn't about Zuko. This is about what is best for our country. Iroh is weak and he will bring our nation to its knees. We need a strong ruler, a Firelord who will not back down like my cowardly brother."_

_"Iroh is a great man. He's mourning his son. You're willing to throw yours away!"_

_"Zuko is weak, Ursa." There was that persuasive voice, the one he had always been so good at. The one that she heard more and more often coming out of Azula's mouth. He couldn't seriously think that it would work on her, could he? Not this time. "You know this. I would never sacrifice him in vain. My father-"_

_"Is a monster. Just like you."_

_His hand was so fast she didn't know it moved until after he struck her. She touched her mouth and felt blood there. There was a dreamlike unreality about the whole thing. Part of her wasn't sure how this could really be happening. How could any man agree to kill his own child? How could any man that she had ever given her love to be such a person? _

_"I won't let you do this." She clenched her hands into fists. "I swear that I will do whatever I have to do to protect my son. Even if it means taking him away from here." She had only taken a step away from him when he grabbed her arm and yanked her forcefully around. She froze when she saw his uplifted fist, surrounded by burning orange fire. She knew then, knew that this was real. This was happening. Her husband was a complete stranger to her. If he was willing to kill Zuko, then what was going to stop him from killing her right then and there?_

_She had learned self-defense for a reason, but had never expected to use it against Ozai. And as she tried to break his hold on her arm, she realized that it was in vain—he knew all her defensive moves and he could counteract each one. He was a fully-trained firebender, one of the best in the world, and she…whatever she might have once been, she had become nothing more than a palace ornament and the womb that had given him heirs. One of which he was going to kill; the other of which was his perfect prodigy. Her rage, mortification, grief, and guilt crashed over her like an ocean wave as Ozai shoved her against the wall._

_"I have a plan." The words burst out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying. She kept talking, because she knew if she didn't, then Zuko had no chance. She didn't really know if Ozai would kill _her, _but she no longer doubted he would kill Zuko. "You're doing this because you want to prove yourself worthy to be Firelord. I have a plan where you can become Firelord now—but only if Zuko's life is spared."_

_"I'm listening."_

"Ursa. Ursa. Whoa, there!"

Ursa swung blindly out at the voice, and when she managed to open her eyes, she realized she had just tried to hit Mikko. He was crouched in front of her, holding up his hands. "Just me! You okay? You seemed pretty agitated. You were thrashing around in your sleep."

Ursa sat up, struggling to suppress her body's trembling. Her heart was pounding and her palms were sweaty. She pressed one hand against her chest and took a deep breath. "I'm fine." She took in her surroundings: trees, tents, mountains not too far away, and the very faint smell of the sea behind them. It had been only a day since the Water Tribe boats had docked, and the warriors, along with Ursa and the prisoner, were on foot now, on their way to the Earth Kingdom army base in the mountains.

The prisoner was sleeping—or looked to be sleeping—nearby. Some of the Water Tribe warriors were asleep in tents, but quite a few of them had simply thrown their sleeping bags on the ground.

"I can still set up a tent for you," Mikko offered. "It would only take a minute."

Ursa shook her head. "I'm fine," she repeated. She didn't want to be stuck inside a tent, unable to see the firebender or to be trapped inside if something were to happen. After two days on board the boat, she had gotten used to being under the open sky, able to see her surroundings—including the prisoner.

"Okay, then." Mikko sat back down near the embers of the campfire, where he was keeping watch.

Ursa shifted in her sleeping bag, but she was too hot. Even out under the stars, her vivid memories had left her feeling suffocated. She climbed out of the sleeping bag and stood, shaking out her filthy robes, which resembled rags more than actual clothing.

"You know, having bad dreams is nothing to be ashamed of, especially after everything you've been through," Mikko told her.

_It was more a bad memory. _Part of her wanted to thank Mikko for waking her up before she had to relive the rest of it, but she kept that thought locked in her mind. Instead, she simply said, "Maybe not."

"Definitely not. Look, everyone has things to be ashamed of in their life, but most people have plenty of things to be proud of, too. Come here, look at this." Mikko patted the spot on the ground beside him, and only then did Ursa realize he was holding a parchment in his other hand.

As Ursa sat beside the young warrior, he held out the parchment to her. It was worn and had some tearing at the edges, as though it had been looked at quite often. She peered at it in the light of the glowing embers and saw that there was a detailed sketch of a little girl. "Is this...your daughter?" she asked softly.

Mikko nodded. "Halla. That was her two years ago. I'm sure she's grown up a lot since then. They grow so fast."

One of the tent flaps in the camp opened and the now-familiar figure of Hakoda emerged and headed toward them.

"Yes," she murmured. Her fingers tightened on the parchment as she stared down into the beaming face of the child on it. She passed the picture back to Mikko. "She's a lovely little girl."

"She's my pride," Mikko said. "She and my wife. They're the reasons I left to fight. To protect them, so that my little Halla has a safe place to grow." He paused. "She's going to be six years old the day after tomorrow."

Hakoda stopped beside them. "Six years." His voice was heavy with something Ursa wasn't quite sure how to identify. Sadness, maybe, or longing? Loneliness?

Mikko looked at Hakoda, and Ursa couldn't mistake the sorrow that was there when he answered, "Yeah."

Hakoda shook his head and sat down beside Mikko. "My shift," he said, patting Mikko's shoulder.

"Sure thing, Chief." Mikko stifled a yawn, rolling up the sketch of his daughter and tucking into his tunic. "Good night, Ursa."

"Good night," she replied softly.

Hakoda gave her a sideways glance as she moved back toward her sleeping bag. "I'm beginning to wonder if you ever sleep. Seems like every time I'm on watch, you're awake for part of it."

_Nights can be difficult. Even when I was somewhere familiar and comfortable. It's worse after everything that just happened. _She didn't mention that Mikko had woken her from her nightmare memories—memories she could never stop reliving, even when she was asleep. Especially when she was asleep. They were easier to bury in the daylight.

"I apologize if I'm being a disturbance." Ursa slid into her sleeping bag, even though she was still too hot. She wished she could go for a walk to clear her head, but out here in unfamiliar territory in the middle of the night, it wasn't a wise idea.

"Yeah, you're such a troublemaker." There was a teasing note in Hakoda's voice. "I don't know how we've made it this far with all the problems you've caused." He was definitely grinning at her.

Ursa blinked at him from her sleeping bag. He was certainly an odd man. Or at least had a very odd sense of humor. She still had not adjusted to the behavior of any of the Water Tribe warriors. In her few days with them, they had proven to be far different from any other men she'd ever met. Their obvious bonds of friendship lent an air of community unlike any she'd experienced, even in her years among the Earth Kingdom villagers. There was an openness about them, a willingness—they were honest and friendly, and she had seen that they could be serious, battle-worn warriors or joking, lighthearted people.

And never once had any of them looked at her in a way she would have considered uncouth. They always looked her directly in the eyes and acted like she was just as important as any of them. They treated her with great kindness, and made her feel welcome even though she did not belong. They even proved to be merciful with a firebender that was their enemy; she had not seen any of them mistreat their prisoner, and they gave him one meal a day and enough water to keep him hydrated. They could have kept him in far worse shape and no one would have blamed them for it.

"Ursa, you have nothing to apologize for," Hakoda assured her. "Now, if you wanted to be a disturbance, I could always give you some advice on the best ways to go about it. I've had plenty of practice at causing trouble."

Ursa folded her elbow under her head and gave him a doubtful look. "Oh, really?"

"Oh, really. Bato and I were probably the worst troublemakers in our tribe. The things we got into." Hakoda shook his head. "I don't think anything my children ever do could add up to all the mischief I pulled when I was younger."

"You have children." Ursa couldn't say she was surprised. She knew that these men had left behind their families to fight in the war, so of course it made sense that Hakoda would have left a family behind as well.

"Two. My son is fifteen now. My daughter is fourteen." Hakoda's smile turned wistful. "I can only imagine how much they've grown since I've been gone. It's scary to think they're pretty much adults. Almost marrying age, even. Makes me feel old."

Ursa's throat felt thick; it was hard to swallow. Zuko and Azula had undoubtedly grown up, and she had no idea what kind of people they had grown into. Did Zuko still have the caring, tender heart that she remembered, or had he been twisted by Ozai's visions of the future? Had Azula learned to have friendships of trust instead of fear? It was a moment before she could speak. "I'm sure you and your wife are very proud of them."

Hakoda's smile slipped entirely and he stared into the dying embers. "I'm very proud of them. I'm sure my wife would have been, too."

_Would have been. _Ursa didn't need to ask, and suddenly felt she had invaded something personal and too private. She did not need to be prying into the life of this man—or any of the men. Nor did she need any of them returning questions about her life and her family.

Rolling onto her back, Ursa gazed up at the night sky. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"

"You apologize far too much for things that aren't your fault." She heard Hakoda sigh and he explained without her asking. "It was a long time ago. Six years." Heavily, he added, "Six years tomorrow, in fact. It was the last time the Fire Nation raided our village."

Ursa turned her head and looked at him again. There was an old, deep grief in his voice, one that resonated through her, because it was a grief that she recognized. She lived with it everyday. Despite her desire to keep from prying, she whispered, "Were they looking for waterbenders?"

Hakoda was silent for so long that Ursa began to think he wouldn't answer, but at last he said, "I think they may have been. Either way, they killed Kya—my wife. Then they left."

"Was she a waterbender?"

"No." There was something else in Hakoda's voice, but she couldn't tell what and she wasn't going to ask anything else.

What else was there to say? Six years ago, she had been living in her bubbled life inside the Fire Nation palace. Her sense of the war and what was right or wrong about it had been clouded by years of Fire Nation upbringing, years spent in the palace. She'd had only her father's teachings about unity and the four nations to present her with something other than the propaganda fed to her by everyone else around her. And those lessons from her father had been very vague and long-ago, because she had been so little when he had died.

Six years ago, she had been focused on her life, her family, on being the perfect princess even though her world and her relationships were strained and more pretend than real. Part of her had known how much her family had fallen apart, had turned into a façade, but she had plunged forward and lived the lie. While she had been busy blinding herself, her father-in-law had been occupied with trying to wipe out the waterbenders of the Southern Tribe.

"Do you have family?" There was the turnaround question that Ursa had not wanted to get. Hakoda was watching her now, his face calm, though his eyes still held that distant loss.

"I…did. Once." Ursa pulled her sleeping bag up around her shoulders, suddenly wishing she'd decided on a tent after all. Out of all the Water Tribe men, she didn't think any of them had a gaze as piercing as their chief. Come to think of it, she didn't know if she'd ever seen eyes that piercing on anyone. Hakoda seemed to see things outside the box, things other people might not have noticed, and she wondered if that was part of the reason he had ended up leader of the tribe. "I lost them to the war," she finally said. It was truthful, though not in the way he would take it.

"It's a very familiar story, isn't it?" Hakoda's eyes darted over to their sleeping firebender prisoner. "The Fire Nation doesn't know how to do anything except conquer and destroy."

Ursa flinched inwardly, but she allowed nothing to show on her face. The memories that always haunted her were dancing on the fringes of her mind, taunting her and reminding her that no matter how much she tried to fight against the Fire Nation, she was still responsible for the state of the world. More than anyone knew. More than anyone could ever know.

She thought of Zuko and Azula, and her hope that everything she had taught them would have stuck with them. She hoped that Hakoda was wrong and that other people in the Fire Nation would have what it took to learn that conquest was not the only way. _She_ had learned, after all. Or maybe she hadn't _learned _as much as she had been forced to open her eyes. She had been forced to face the suffering of the outside world and to realize what a delusion her life in the Fire Nation had been, and she was better off because of it.

Even as she hoped that her sacrifices would bring peace to the world, she also feared that nothing she had done would really matter. She feared that her children would end up following in the path of their father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. The _wrong _great-grandfather. She feared everyday that her sacrifices to protect her son would only bring more destruction to the rest of the world.

"We'll be at the base by tomorrow afternoon," Hakoda said. "You won't be stuck with us out here in the wild for too much longer."

Ursa turned onto her side, away from Hakoda, and closed her eyes. The image of a burning golden gaze flashed through her mind and she clenched her jaw, forcing the image away. "Believe me," she whispered, not sure if Hakoda could even hear her, "there are far worse places I could be."


	5. Intelligence Reports

**A/N: **Thank you to b1uski3sxox, JFAPOI, Jokegirl, ayameko2TTe, and Sobatra for reviewing!

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**Chapter Five - Intelligence Reports**

It was the third time that Hakoda had been away from his children for the anniversary of Kya's death. When he had been home, it had been a day when they could share memories together, and he felt the loss of his children's presence more keenly than ever on this day. Kya's death was a reminder of so much—the pain of that day, the beauty of her life, one of the reasons he was fighting in the war, Sokka and Katara. It was a cycle of joy and pain, and one that would probably always be that way.

In light of not having Sokka and Katara, Hakoda's friends took it upon themselves to fill the void.

"It's an age-old tribal tradition," Hakoda overheard Mikko murmuring to Ursa, "to share memories of a loved one on the anniversary of their death." They were eating breakfast and preparing for the last stint of their journey. Their firebender prisoner was leaning against a nearby rock, out of earshot but within eyesight of all of them. "I remember," Mikko said to the group, "when Hakoda and Bato got stranded out on that iceberg after they crashed their canoe trying to beat the rapids."

"There was no _trying _about it," Hakoda put in. "We had those rapids beat. Or we would have if that iceberg hadn't gotten in the way."

"Yeah, blame it on the iceberg," Notu muttered.

Mikko laughed. "I think everyone in the village could hear Kya's rant to you when you and Bato made it back home."

"She was worried," Hakoda said with a wry smile.

"That, my friend, is an understatement."

Ronook put in his own memory. "Kya made the best stewed sea prunes in the village—but don't tell my wife I said so."

"I remember," Tamoru began, "When my little Marena was born, how panicked I was when Alla went into labor during that blizzard. I could hardly even get out of our igloo to go for help. I don't know what I would have done if Kya hadn't managed to get there. She was a life-saver."

Hakoda swallowed past the lump in his throat. He suspected that Kya was a life-saver in more ways than even he might ever fully know.

"I will always be grateful that you and Kya went with the young love and didn't waste time in having kids. It helped the rest of us figure out what we were doing when it came our turn," Ornu added.

They continued reliving memories of Kya until all the other men had shared, and then Hakoda closed his eyes, picturing Kya's laughing face. It was a dim memory. It seemed with every passing day, her face got more blurred in his mind.

It was good to hear the good memories, to share them with others who had known and loved Kya. It helped drown out the words that were so strong on this day, words he would never be able to forget as long as he lived. Old words, but the worst ones he had ever heard.

_"Dad! I think Mom's in trouble! There's a man in our house!"_

The sick fear that had made his stomach plummet and his heart race—he would never forget that, either. To hear those words from his daughter had been the most horrific moment of his life. At least until he saw Kya's body.

A firm hand on Hakoda's shoulder brought his eyes open. Notu was looking at him with understanding.

"I remember," Hakoda said slowly, "her laughter. Even when I made her angry or upset; even if she got sad, it was never long before she was laughing again."

"And making everyone else laugh, too," Tamoru added.

"In memory of Kya." Mikko bowed his head. "May her spirit always be at rest."

The words signaled the end of their memory sharing, and the end of breakfast. There was an unusually solemn air about the camp as they packed up and prepared to move on. Hakoda's mind was still very far away as he rolled up a tent. His thoughts were back home with his children. They would be remembering their mother in their own way. The desire to see them, to hold them and assure them, to know that they were really all right, was so strong that he almost felt sick.

He tucked the tent away and closed his eyes briefly. _I miss you, Kya. _It wasn't the fierce longing, agony, and misery that it had been right after she died. Just like the strength of her image in his mind had grown less each day, so had the pain of losing her.

_"Moving on,_" his mother had told him very soon after Kya had died, _"is never easy, Hakoda. It's not meant to be easy. If we didn't allow ourselves to have deep loves, we wouldn't have deep pains, and you cannot afford to relinquish love because of pain. You have two beautiful children who have lost just as much as you. Only together will you make it through this and begin to heal."_

His mother was a smart woman, but at the time, Hakoda hadn't known how he was going to be able to get through losing Kya. She had been the light in his life, the only woman he had ever wanted, from the time he had even begun to think of girls in that way. Letting her go and moving on had seemed a betrayal to everything they had shared.

He had gradually realized, though, that _not _letting her go and not moving on was a betrayal to everything he _still_ had—to Sokka and Katara, to his tribe, to himself. More than that, it was a betrayal to Kya's memory. She would have wanted him to keep living life, to really _live _it. He had found that seeking out the joys that life still had to offer had begun to heal his broken heart.

A small smile crossed Hakoda's face as he opened his eyes. There would always be something in him that missed Kya, but he still had the greatest gift she had ever given him, the greatest testament to what he had shared with her. He still had Sokka and Katara.

_And I miss you two more than anything,_ he thought.

Hakoda straightened and glanced around. The men were almost done packing. Ursa stood at the edge of camp, looking more out of sorts than usual, which was saying something. Her neighbor back in Huang hadn't been joking when he said she was reserved. She was unwrapping the bandage on her hand, and Hakoda carried his pack over to her and nodded at her. "How's your hand?"

Ursa held it out so he could see her palm. The angry red burns had faded into healed, peeling skin. "Much better. That blubber ointment of yours really does work wonders, if you can stand the smell." She tucked the cloth bandage into a pocket and flexed her fingers experimentally. She glanced around at the other men, then looked Hakoda again, her eyes guarded and almost uncertain.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

Ursa shook her head. "No." She paused, then said, "I'm not used to this."

"This? You mean traveling with a bunch of loud, strange, smelly men?"

Ursa gave him a strange look, and then a small smile brushed across her face. "I think I smell worse than any of you could," she said wryly, motioning to her filthy robes. Her eyes darted around the camp again. "I just meant—I've never seen friendships quite like the ones you have here." She paused. "I'm glad I've had a chance to see it."

Hakoda smiled at her. "Well, I'm just glad we haven't scared you away."

Once they were all packed up, they set off again, their prisoner in tow. They'd been guarding him more carefully than ever, since they had to untie the ropes on his legs so he could walk. So far, he still hadn't tried any firebending at them, but all it would take was a moment of relaxing their guard and it could cost them dearly. Hakoda would be much happier when he was no longer in charge of the man.

It was midday when they finally reached the familiar expanse of rocks at the base of the mountains. Hakoda was unsurprised when several men dressed in Earth Kingdom army uniforms came out of the shadows. They only relaxed their guard when Hakoda greeted them with the proper pass phrases.

"Chief Hakoda, if I'm not mistaken," one of the men said. "We weren't expecting the Water Tribe."

"We have some information for General Ling." Hakoda stepped aside and motioned their prisoner. "And someone who probably has a lot more information than we do."

Within moments, the entrance to the hidden army base was opened with earthbending, and Hakoda and his companions were ushered inside. The firebender was taken into custody and led away by the earthbenders.

In short order, the rest of Hakoda's men were shown to temporary quarters, and Hakoda was called into a meeting with General Ling. Ursa was asked to attend as well, and General Ling listened without interrupting as they both told their sides of the story. Ursa handed over the scroll and General Ling unrolled it and looked over it.

"I'm very sorry to hear about Misaki," Ling said heavily. "She has been one of our strongest and most outgoing supporters. I fear what the enemy might learn from her, should they attempt to procure information." He sighed and gazed at the scroll. "I need to decode this. Chief Hakoda, would you and your men stay here until I can sort this out?"

Hakoda nodded. "Of course."

"Lady Ursa, would you also mind staying? I have more questions for you. I will have my men find some clothes for you, if that suits you."

"That would be wonderful. Thank you." Ursa folded her hands in front of her. "General Ling, if you question the prisoner, I would like to know anything he might say about Misaki."

"I'll tell you what I can," Ling replied. "Chief Hakoda, thank you for your diligence in bringing him to us."

General Ling escorted them out of the room and sent Ursa off with one of his soldiers. Hakoda headed toward the Water Tribe's accommodations—several large, connected rooms spread with stone bunks jutting out of the walls. It was convenient for the earthbenders that they could create as many rock bunks as they needed. The other men were already resting, talking, or sorting through their belongings.

"I don't know how long we'll be here," Hakoda said to them, after filling them in on his meeting with the general, "so rest while you can."

There was a stream that ran through the army base, and part of it had been designed to siphon through the buildings. Hakoda took the opportunity to wash and change into his cleanest set of clothes, and then quickly washed his dirty clothes and spread them out to dry. He wasn't the only one who took the chance to get clean. In their day-to-day life, they had to take what time they could to get menial tasks out of the way.

Feeling a little more human, Hakoda sat down on one of the rock bunks and leaned back against the wall, half-watching the activity of the others and half in his own thoughts. He wasn't sure what would be next for them, but at least they had successfully carried out their objective of getting both the prisoner and message into General Ling's hands.

He didn't realize how tired he was until Tamoru woke him from a light sleep. The sky was dark and the rooms were lit with several lamps. Some of his companions were sleeping, others were eating. "Sorry to wake you, Hakoda, but General Ling's asking to speak with you again."

Hakoda scrubbed a hand over his eyes. "Thanks." He stood and stretched, spotting one of the earthbenders from earlier waiting by the door. Hakoda was escorted back to the room where he had met with Ling earlier. Ursa was already inside with the general, and she looked better than she had since Hakoda had met her. She was wearing unburned, clean robes and appeared more rested.

General Ling got straight to the point as soon as the door closed behind Hakoda. "Chief Hakoda, what do you know of the Avatar's return?"

"Not much," Hakoda admitted. "I've heard rumors that he's returned; other than that, I don't know who he is or what he's doing."

"Lady Ursa?"

"The same," she replied. "There have been several rumors that he's back, but I know nothing of him."

General Ling tapped his fingers on his chin. "I asked you here because this concerns both of you. First of all, we questioned the firebender."

"Don't tell me you actually got him to talk." Hakoda tried not to be too disbelieving, but he hadn't been sure if the general would be able to get anything out of the firebender, especially not after a matter of hours.

"You sound surprised, Chief. You should know by now that the Earth Kingdom has many advantages and resources at its disposal. In particular, we have a concoction made from herbs and red spider-fly venom."

"Red spider-fly venom?" Hakoda echoed incredulously.

"Trace amounts."

"I've heard of it," Ursa spoke up. "The drug releases any inhibitions a person has so they will talk indiscriminately, but it's no guarantee that they're telling the truth. And if they're desperate to hold onto a secret, they can still sometimes keep it. It also," she continued pointedly, "can cause hallucinations."

"Well, the firebender told us quite a few things pertaining to you and Misaki, Lady Ursa, and you can judge for yourself whether they seem truthful."

Hakoda and Ursa listened as General Ling explained, "He said he was in Huang to capture Misaki without arousing suspicion from the townsfolk. He was on his way to grab her and said he saw you approaching her house. He knew Misaki was supposed to be in possession of some important information."

"The scroll she gave me," Ursa guessed.

"Yes. He suspected after you left that you might also be part of the underground, and when he couldn't find the scroll in Misaki's possession, that suspicion only grew. So after he captured Misaki and took her to the nearby Fire Nation base, he went to your inn and gave you the pass phrase. He knew when you replied that you were underground, but he didn't expect his cover to be blown."

"Did he say what would happen to Misaki?"

"According to him, she was supposed to be taken to a prison. I don't know which one—he said he didn't know. As I said, you can decide for yourself if his story makes sense. Now, I'd like to move on to the message you brought us. I won't tell you all of it, but part of it concerns your tribe, Chief Hakoda. Intelligence reports that the Avatar was recently involved in an incident with pirates and the Fire Nation—"

Hakoda frowned slightly, trying to figure out how that directly related to his tribe.

"—along with his two companions," Ling continued. "Apparently, he's in the company of two young people from the Water Tribe. Since we know the Avatar appeared somewhere in the south and seems to be moving north, we assume these two companions of his are from the Southern Water Tribe. According to the report, there's a warrior named Sokka and a young waterbender named Katara."

Hakoda stood frozen. Sokka and Katara had been traveling with the Avatar? For how long?

"Chief? Are you familiar with either of these people?"

Hakoda cleared his throat. "They're my children."

He felt Ursa's gaze on him, and General Ling nodded in acceptance. "Odd. I had believed there were no waterbenders left in the Southern Tribe."

"Katara…isn't trained," Hakoda said slowly. "There were no masters left to teach her."

"And therefore no masters to teach the Avatar waterbending, either. From what we've learned of the Avatar, he's a young boy who has mastered only airbending. Would it be sensible to suppose your children might be escorting him to the North Pole in an attempt to contact the Northern Tribe and find a waterbending master?"

"I don't know," Hakoda admitted, "but it might be."

Ling nodded, as though he had expected this answer. "I have a request of both of you. Chief Hakoda, you said General Fong sent you this way to begin investigating the breach in our underground network. As circumstance would have it, you stumbled right into part of it. Lady Ursa, _you_ said you can tell if someone is a firebender or an earthbender by the way they move. Some of my men here are earthbenders; others are not. If I were to bring some of them into this room, would you be able to tell me if they are earthbenders or not?"

Hakoda glanced at Ursa in time to see her carefully guarded mask slide into place on her face. "Maybe," she replied cautiously.

"I'd like to test it," General Ling said decisively.

"Why?" Ursa asked.

"Because if you prove able to do this successfully, it would be an invaluable service to us. If I'm not mistaken, you currently have no home and nowhere to go. You also have been a member of the underground for several years."

"Let me rephrase, General," Ursa said stiffly. "What sort of service is it that you want from me?"

"If we can get further information out of our prisoner—namely, if he knows anyone else who has infiltrated our network—then we would ask you to work with Chief Hakoda on finding the infiltrators. So far, our prisoner has been very evasive about his undercover work. Beyond what he told us about Misaki, he has managed to talk about everything that _doesn't _matter to us."

"And there's no guarantee he will," Ursa said plainly.

"I understand this, but this is what we are asking of you."

"If you don't mind, General Ling, I'd like to take tonight to think about it. I've had a very long week."

"Of course. Chief Hakoda, Lady Ursa, thank you for your services. I will speak with you again in the morning."

Dismissed, Hakoda turned and followed Ursa out of the room. They walked toward the guest chambers in silence, until Hakoda broke the silence. "Katara is the only waterbender left in my tribe."

Ursa paused and he stopped beside her. "I would do anything to protect her." His jaw tightened. "As I told General Ling, she has no training."

"I wasn't questioning you, Hakoda."

"No one outside of the Southern Water Tribe knows that my daughter was born a waterbender."

"I understand why you would want to keep it that way." Ursa's eyes met his steadily for a moment, and then she continued walking. "You have nothing to fear from me. I'm good at keeping my silence."


	6. Time and Again

**A/N: **Thank you to misamisa, things24, ArrayePL, Iaveina, Sobatra, and Sirithdiliel for reviewing. :)

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**Chapter Six - Time and Again**

After returning to the room that she had been given at the Earth Kingdom base, Ursa paced around the small space, her mind full of new thoughts. From the supposed information given by the firebender to news on the Avatar and how it involved Hakoda's children.

She didn't know if she believed a word out of the firebender's mouth. Yes, his story made sense, but the drug the Earth Kingdom had used was, as she had told the general, unreliable. It had been around in the Fire Nation for years, and she was well-versed on the effects it had. She just wished that she could get some substantial information on Misaki.

_And if wishes were ostrich horses we could ride into a sunset of rainbows, _she thought caustically, pinching the bridge of her nose. Sighing, she sank down onto the hard rock bed and folded her hands into her opposite sleeves. The sun had long since set and the only light came in through the open windows and a door that led out to a small balcony. She missed her inn. She missed Huang. She missed the friendly faces of familiar neighbors. And the older, deeper ache of places and people she missed was only made worse by the fresh hurts.

She stared out through the door to the balcony; she could make out the shapes of trees and mountains in the light of the moon and stars. What now? General Ling was going to want an answer from her. If she proved to him that she could call out earthbenders, then he wanted her to work with Hakoda and see if she could help find more firebenders in the underground. There were so many problems with that. Yes, she had been fighting against the Fire Nation for years now, but she had been doing it subtly. She had been avoiding, as much as possible, exposure to anyone _from _the Fire Nation. To anyone who might recognize her.

She'd had more than one moment of panic since the Fire Nation patrols had started coming through Huang. Every time firebenders had stepped into her inn, she had been afraid that one of the soldiers would recognize her. She hadn't exactly led an inconspicuous life within the Fire Nation. Granted, most people probably didn't expect her to be tromping around the Earth Kingdom wearing their clothes and with their hairstyles. And since leaving the Fire Nation, she had never been so grateful that her father had given her the name Ursa. It was an Earth Kingdom name, and before he died, he had told her that she had been given such a name to remind her that the four nations were meant to be joined hand in hand. If she'd had a Fire Nation name, she would have had to go by a false identity in the Earth Kingdom. It had been a comfort that she could at least still be _Ursa, _and at the time she had been banished, anything familiar had been a significant comfort to her.

She had always been careful, though. What General Ling was asking of her would send her out _looking _for firebenders. Yet…could she really say no? The Water Tribe would continue carrying out their task, and she had the ability to offer them help that they wouldn't find from a whole lot of people.

With another sigh, she lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. It _had _been a very long week and all she wanted to do was sleep and not think about anything, but all she could do was think.

Her thoughts moved onto the Avatar. His reappearance was significant to the whole world, but for her, it held even more meaning. It was not well-known—in fact, it was something that not even her own children knew—that her grandfather had been Avatar Roku. Ursa had very fuzzy details about his life and death. She remembered her father telling her about her heritage before he died, remembered that he had talked about betrayal, and she wished that she could remember more. She wished she had thought to pursue the matter more deeply when she had been in the Fire Nation.

Her parents had both died when she was four, and she had been taken in and raised by her mother's sister, who had done her best to avoid any of Ursa's questions about her heritage. It had been as though she wanted to sweep it away under the carpet and make Ursa forget about it. _"Some questions can bring more trouble than you want, Ursa. There are some matters that will only bring all of us that trouble, and you don't want that, do you? Of course not. You're a good girl. You have a good life with me. You have influence and standing in the Fire Nation. Be grateful and keep your silence about your father's family, for all our sakes."_

Her aunt had always looked wary and even a little scared whenever Ursa spoke of her father's family, and so Ursa had learned to stop asking questions and just live the life in court that her aunt wanted for her. Being the Avatar's granddaughter was something that was better left quiet, and she had only ever told two people in her life about it: her husband and her brother-in-law.

But now the Avatar was back. Her grandfather, reborn and walking around. A new body, a new mind, new life and loves and dreams, but supposedly there was something of her grandfather still within the new Avatar. It was a strange thought, one that had the potential to be both disconcerting and comforting.

He was still a child, though, and she knew the Fire Nation would be doing their best to capture him, which also meant that Hakoda's children would be in equal danger, if they were with him. Perhaps more danger, because if she knew anything about Ozai and how he operated, he would want the Avatar alive, to prevent him from being reborn. He wouldn't care one way or another about two Water Tribe children.

Ursa covered her face with her hands. If only she hadn't been so blind for so long. This was her fault, too—everything that Ozai did might have been stopped if she had made different choices.

She wasn't even aware of falling asleep, except that she was dreaming again. The same horrible, vivid reliving of her past, and even though she knew that it had already happened, even though she was aware that she was just dreaming, she could do nothing to change it. And this time there was no one to see her thrashing and wake her from her nightmare.

She saw it all again: confronting Ozai, throwing out the possibility of a plan to spare Zuko's life. Then the memory continued.

_"You know what this will mean for you." Ozai still held Ursa pinned against the wall, one hand pressed against her upper chest and shoulder, the other one still held in a threatening fist, as though he would use it against her if he heard something he didn't like._

_Ursa's head spun. Her spur-of-the moment plan had bought her a few minutes, but now what was she to do? Maybe if she could get Zuko and Azula, sneak them out of the palace before Ozai realized_—

_Maybe it was too late for that. He would be watching; Ozai was not stupid. This was her fault. If she had paid more attention…if she had noticed earlier…taken her children far away before it came to this…_

_If she had let herself notice earlier, then maybe they wouldn't be here right now. If she had accepted that she and Ozai had started down a different paths a long time ago, if she had done more, if, if, if._

_"It means," Ozai continued, "that you will be banished. You will be a traitor to the Fire Nation. It is your plan and it will be your deed and I will wash my hands of it."_

_"And of me." She sounded numb, probably because there was still part of her that couldn't believe this was happening. It was all too fast, too unreal. _

_"You're unfit to rule at my side."_

_She understood. She might have been living a disillusioned life for a long time, but faced with the truth, she couldn't deny the facts. She wasn't stupid, either. If she were to carry out her own plan, then she was automatically a threat to Ozai. If she could kill one Firelord, she could kill another one, and Ozai would not risk it._

_"There will be a ship in the harbor tonight. It will take you to the Earth Kingdom. I suggest you leave quickly." The pressure of Ozai's hand on her chest as he held her to the wall grew so tight it hurt. "And Ursa? If you try to take Zuko and Azula, I guarantee you will regret it."_

_Of course he had guessed what she planned. Of course he would realize that she wasn't going to leave the country without her children. "Do you really think I'm going to just leave them with _you?_"_

_"Maybe you don't understand. I am going to be Firelord. Zuko and Azula will be heirs to the throne, cherished by their people. I will _not _suffer them to be taken from me by my treasonous wife. You will disappear quietly, and people will think nothing of it because you are nothing to them. My children, on the other hand, are a bright hope to this country."_

_"A bright hope that you were going to kill!"_

_"I've no reason to harm Zuko if you carry through your proposal, do I, Ursa? This is my bargain. I will keep my promise not to kill either child if I am Firelord."_

_"Because you're so good at keeping promises."_

_"Let me make this very clear." A flash of fire and burning, burning heat were all the warning Ursa had, but she could do nothing to stop Ozai. His hand, still against her chest and shoulder, was searing into her skin. She smelled burned cloth and flesh, and couldn't stop her agonized cry. _

_The flames disappeared as quickly as they had come, but Ozai's hand was still pressed against her charred skin. His eyes weren't cold, Ursa realized as she took deep breaths, eyes stinging with unshed tears. They were _blazing.

_"If you ever," he hissed, "try to take Azula or Zuko, if you put one foot back in the Fire Nation, if you tell anyone what you are about to do, if you fail me in going through with your plan at all, then my bargain with you will be over." He let her go and finally stepped back. _

_Ursa remained where she was, hardly daring to breathe. Her disbelief at his actions, at his intent, at everything he had just done and shown her, was so strong and unfathomable that she was dizzy._

_"Don't try anything, Ursa. I will be watching."_

_Trembling_—_more from shock than anything else, Ursa thought_—_she took a staggering step forward. "I'll need to gather a few things." She had no way out. She had dug her own grave. No_—_she had dug the grave of the Firelord. "And I'm going to at least see Azula and Zuko one last time before I leave."_

_"If you say anything to them of this_—_"_

_Ursa's fingers went to her fresh burn and she bit hard on her lip to keep from crying out at the pain when she touched it. That seemed to be clear enough to Ozai._

_"When you do this," Ozai said, "your ties with us will be forever broken. You will not be my wife. You will not be their mother. It will be as though you died." He turned and walked out of the room._

_Ursa's legs finally gave out from under her and she sank to the floor, pain radiating from her wound, feeling like she would throw up. He was wrong. He could cut her off, disown her, divorce her, but he could never make her stop being Zuko and Azula's mother._

_It was her choice. Her choice: her father-in-law or her son. _

_That was no choice at all._

She was jolted awake—this time, not by a concerned Water Tribe warrior, but by someone pinning her to the bed and pressing a hand over her mouth, muffling the scream that was instinctively fighting to get out. It was dark and she was disoriented; she couldn't make out anything except the shadow looming over her, but she could tell it was definitely a man.

"Now, now, Ursa, we wouldn't want to disturb anyone. I'll give you two seconds to stop moving before I run you through with my knife."

She felt the sharp point of his knife jab into her stomach and she froze, her shout stuck in her throat.

"Not a word," her assailant murmured, "or I swear by the spirits I will kill you. I've no use for traitors. Fortunately for you, I know someone who does."

Ursa had no idea what he was talking about. Was this some Earth Kingdom soldier who thought she was somehow in league with the Fire Nation? The way he had said her name, though…it had sounded like he was familiar with her. The only other explanation was that he knew she was Fire Nation, and that's what he meant by calling her a traitor. But that would make _him _Fire Nation, wouldn't it? Or at least someone in league with the Fire Nation, and she had a hard time imagining _anyone _from the Earth Kingdom joining up with the Fire Nation.

"Get up," the man demanded. "Slowly."

She obeyed, rising carefully to her feet as her attacker moved to stand behind her, the end of the knife now poking lightly into her back. She hoped he wasn't easily startled; one wrong move and she would be impaled. Her eyes darted around the room, looking to see if there was anything that could help her, but she came up empty.

Ursa had no choice but to move out of the room at the man's prodding. If she just kept calm, then maybe she could find a way out of this. She was in an army base; surely someone would notice that something was amiss.

However, her captor led her slowly and confidently through the base, winding his way past people without notice. The one time they passed a soldier who looked curiously at them, she gave the soldier a long, wide-eyed expression that she hoped he would interpret as urgent, but he wasn't even looking at her anymore, just continuing on his way while Ursa got hustled out of the base and toward the solid rock wall that the earthbenders had opened for them earlier. There were two men standing guard, but while they gave her the same curious looks as the soldier who had noticed her inside, they were more than happy to open a door in the rock when Ursa's captor explained he was escorting her to Gaoling. Whoever this man was, he was obviously trusted and well-known on the army base.

Which meant that her chances of getting help had just slipped to almost nothing, especially when she was taken all the way out of the army base. Just her and some stranger with a knife, surrounded by nothing but trees and mountains.

It was only when she had been taken a little way into the woods that her captor shoved her to the ground. She got her breath knocked out of her lungs and a mouthful of dirt as her hands were quickly and expertly bound behind her back. Her heart was racing, but she showed none of her fear when she was yanked back to her feet and spun around to face her captor. She still couldn't make out much of his face in the pitch black, only enough to see a very tall, well-muscled figure with facial hair. She could also see the knife he held in his hand. She fixed her eyes firmly on his face, her voice low when she demanded, "Who are you?"

He twisted the knife in his hand around in circles, but she still refused to look at it. A familiar warning was tingling in the back of her mind as he said, just as calmly, "I heard you could tell just by my movements."

And there it was. "You're a firebender."

"Not everyone who joins the Earth Kingdom army is an earthbender. You're not the only one who can work your way into the fold." The knife kept spinning in his fingers. "Did you really think you wouldn't eventually be recognized if you stuck your nose into Fire Nation business?"

Ursa's heart was thumping in her chest so loudly that she could hear it. "Where are you taking me?"

"No more questions. Just be glad I'm keeping you alive at all. Now _move_."

Ursa glared at him and didn't budge. No matter how powerful or threatening he thought he was, she had still faced worse than him and she was not going to play the subservient captive. Inwardly, she was cursing herself for being foolish enough to think an army base could be completely safe. It went back to the saying about the two-headed rat viper. One of her enemies might have been imprisoned, but another had just bitten her while her back was turned.

The man grabbed the ropes that bound her hands behind her back and shoved her forward. The ties dug into her wrists and Ursa gritted her teeth. "Best do what I say, understand?" He pushed her forward again. "There's no one to help you now."


	7. Crossing Paths

**A/N: **Thanks to Sirithdiliel, JFAPOI, Lucyz, Sobatra, ayameko2TTe, and Aristeia for reviewing!

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**Chapter Seven - Crossing Paths**

Ursa had never seen the town of Gaoling, and her first view of it was not ideal. The firebender who had her prisoner shoved her quickly down the hill that led to town. It had only been a ten minute walk from the army base, and Ursa's hopes that someone would come to help had grown slimmer with each passing moment. She didn't know why she should expect help. Her life was one that always demanded self-sufficiency. Even the Water Tribe recently coming to her rescue had been far from ordinary.

"Do you really think you'll be able to carry on normally back at the army base? Don't you think someone will suspect if I just disappear?" Ursa asked quietly as they walked, expecting to be told to shut up. Maybe being far enough away from the army base made her captor more confident, because he answered.

"No, I don't. From what I can tell, you're a big unknown to all of these people. The Water Tribe and the soldiers don't really know what you would do or how you would act. So you wanted to go to Gaoling and quietly disappear. They'll never know, and you won't be able to point me out as a firebender."

Ursa clenched her teeth. He was right. He could take her wherever he wanted and return to the base; he could weave a story of lies and no one would have reason to doubt him. "The Fire Nation will lose."

"Against an Earth Kingdom who can't even recognize a firebender in their midst? Against an Avatar who's a kid? I think you chose the wrong side. I guess we know who your son inherited his weakness from, don't we?"

Ursa sucked in a sharp breath before she could stop herself. It had been five years since she'd heard any news about her children, and she desperately wanted to know what this man meant by Zuko's weakness. She kept quiet, waiting to see if he would continue.

"You should have just kept your nose out of—"

There was a loud rumbling noise directly behind Ursa, and a shout from the firebender, but the yell was no longer near her. Ursa cautiously turned her head and saw that a huge chunk of earth had jutted out of the ground and had propelled the firebender back through the air.

Her gaze darted around for the earthbender who had helped her as her mind screamed at her to _run. _She had barely taken a step, however, when the ground opened underneath her. She dropped down and landed painfully, unable to use her hands to brace her fall. Then the earth sealed above her, leaving her in complete darkness.

Coughing and struggling to her feet, Ursa smacked headfirst into a wall. At least the room or tunnel or wherever she was had enough space that she could stand straight without hitting her head.

"I thought you could use some help."

Ursa jumped at the sudden voice in the dark. She turned slowly toward the person who had spoken. "Thank you."

"Just be glad I was walking under you at the right time." The voice was very high and young—a child. Ursa was fairly sure that it was a girl.

Ursa was starting to breathe more easily as she accepted that she was, for the moment, safe again. All of the being in danger, out of danger, back in danger of the past days was frustrating and frightening, and surreal at times. She kept trying to focus on what she had to do _next_, just to keep herself going. And right now, she had to get back to the army base, and _fast_. She had to warn General Ling. The implications of what had just happened to her were enormous.

Despite all the heavy thoughts and emotions weighing on her, she heard herself asking, as if from somewhere very far away, "How did you know I needed help if you didn't see me?"

For some reason, that brought a short laugh from the girl. "I heard you talking. You sounded scared, and besides, your big friend sounded like a bully. I don't like bullies. And your heart was beating really fast."

Ursa wasn't sure how to respond to that. She didn't even know what a child would be doing wandering around underground in the middle of the night, or how she could know that Ursa's heart had been beating fast, and thought it might be best to not pry. She cleared her throat. "Well, thank you. Might I ask for your help again? My hands are tied, and I need to get back to the Earth Kingdom army base. That man you saved me from took me from there."

The girl heaved a sigh. "Fine. I'll get you back to the base and then you're on your own. Got it? I don't have time to rescue you again tonight."

There was a touch on Ursa's arm from a small hand, and then the girl was working on the ropes. It wasn't long before they slid off of Ursa's wrists. She gratefully rubbed feeling back into them, until the child took her arm and tugged. "I just said I _don't _have all night, so if you want a tour, you've got the wrong girl."

Ursa had no idea how the girl could possibly know where she was going, but she moved through the pitch black so quickly that Ursa was disoriented. It was hard to go quickly through a space she couldn't see; her equilibrium was thrown off and she kept expecting to run into something. The only sounds Ursa could hear were her own short breaths and the earth moving as her guide created tunnels to walk through.

"Okay, here we are. Try to avoid getting into trouble in the future." The girl dropped Ursa's arm.

"Wait! Will you at least tell me your name?"

There was a moment's silence, and then the girl replied, "Toph."

"Toph," Ursa repeated. "Thank you for all your help."

Toph earthbended an opening above Ursa's head and then thrust the piece of ground Ursa was standing on upward, depositing her in fresh air. It was dark, but not the blinding darkness of the tunnel. Ursa could see trees and the outside of the rocks surrounding the army base. Looking around hastily, she ran for the rocks, and was quickly stopped by two soldiers who popped out of nowhere. She recognized them as the same soldiers who had allowed her captor to leave the base with her only a short while ago.

They looked at her in surprise. "Lady Ursa? Didn't Captain Gan just escort you to Gaoling?" one of them asked.

Ursa bit back the urge to scream at the man that _no, _this 'Captain Gan' was a firebender who had dragged her out of bed at knifepoint and could be _anywhere _at the moment. Instead, with a calmness that she certainly didn't feel, she said, "I need to see General Ling immediately. It's an emergency."

She still did not feel safe as they opened the entrance and brought her back into the army base. What if there were other firebenders? It was unlikely, but she wasn't going to discount it. She no longer had any idea how many firebenders were involved in infiltrating the Earth Kingdom, but she'd met two in only a matter of days. She was feeling a little bit paranoid. More than that, the full impact of what had just happened was settling in. A firebender had discovered her true identity. If he had any brains at all, he would not be coming back to the army base. He had lost her, but he still knew who she was and he knew she was working with the Earth Kingdom.

This had the potential to be very, very bad if it got back to Ozai that she was working against him.

"Ursa?"

Ursa's head jerked upward toward a second-floor balcony. Several faces were peering down at her—Mikko and Hakoda, she realized. Part of her relaxed the slightest bit. She was positive that none of the Water Tribe, at least, had any traitors among them, and they were perhaps the only people she could say she had no reason to fear at that moment.

"Are you okay?" Mikko called down. "We saw you come in—we didn't even know you had left!"

Ursa bit back the ridiculous urge to either laugh or cry. She wasn't sure which, but neither was appropriate. "I found another firebender." She shook her head. "He found me. I'm going to talk to General Ling."

:-:-:-:-:

"So Sokka and Katara are with the Avatar," Mikko said thoughtfully as he followed Hakoda out to one of the balconies attached to their rooms. Inside, most of the Water Tribe was sleeping, though a few were still awake.

"That's what the report says."

There was a silence as Mikko gazed at Hakoda for a moment before smiling. He clapped a hand on Hakoda's shoulder. "The Avatar couldn't be in better hands."

Hakoda stared out at the dark army base where two soldiers walked the grounds, keeping watch. There was a mixture of pride and worry in him when he finally said, "I know." Sokka and Katara were resourceful and smart, and he knew they would do everything they could to keep learning and to acclimate to the world away from the South Pole. They would protect each other and the Avatar.

But they would still have the Fire Nation after them, actively pursuing them.

_Keep them safe, _he thought, not sure who he was asking. If only he could be there with his children, helping them. His fingers grasped the hard stone of the balcony railing. _Keep them safe._

"As soon as I find out where General Ling wants us to go, I'm sending a message to Bato to tell him where to meet us," Hakoda added.

Mikko nodded. "It will be good to have him back."

It would be more than good. He was Hakoda's brother in all the ways that mattered, and the lack of his presence was felt more strongly every day. "We should find out—"

He stopped talking something caught his attention. The two guards suddenly opened the ground underneath their feet and disappeared into the earth. It wasn't long before an opening was made in the rock around the army base, and then the two guards were coming back inside, with a third person between them. Even from up on the balcony in the darkness, Hakoda could see that it was Ursa.

Mikko leaned onto the railing. "Is that Ursa? Did you know she left?" Without waiting for Hakoda to answer, he called, "Ursa!"

Her head jerked upwards. It was too dark to really see her face, but Hakoda had a growing sense of alarm that something was very wrong. When Mikko asked her if she was okay, her answer to him was anything _but _okay. As soon as she continued walking toward the base, Hakoda turned and ran through the guest rooms, heading for the exit.

The other few men who were awake stood in alarm or looked at him with wary expressions. "What's wrong?" Pika asked, already gripping his club.

"That's what I'm trying to find out." Hakoda was out the door, and wasn't surprised when Pika and Mikko both came out after him.

"It's Ursa," Mikko explained.

That put even more worry in Pika's eyes. No other words were said; they weren't needed.

"I'll find out what's going on," Hakoda assured. "Just keep a close eye out."

He left them talking outside the rooms and hurried for the stairs. He reached the main hall just as Ursa was entering it. She glanced at him, and in the light of the torches on the wall, Hakoda saw that she was covered in dirt. She didn't speak, and her expression seemed unwelcoming of discussion.

Hakoda kept his silence as he went along with Ursa and her escort to see General Ling, and he listened in shock as Ursa told them how she'd been taken away at knifepoint by a firebender.

"Captain Gan, a _firebender_?" Ling looked stunned. "He's been with me for six months! The intelligence he must have picked up…the position we put him in…how could this happen?" Then his eyes widened, and he hastily issued orders for several soldiers to go check on the firebender prisoner. He also commanded several of his earthbenders to go immediately to Gaoling and hunt for Captain Gan. As his orders were obeyed, Ling nodded at Ursa. "Please, Lady Ursa, continue."

She told of her short trip to Gaoling, and how she'd been saved by a young earthbender who had brought her back to the base. "I don't know what happened to your Captain Gan, but if he's smart, he won't come back here." Ursa rubbed the bridge of her nose, looking utterly spent.

A soldier came hurrying in to inform Ling that the firebender prisoner was still safely in captivity.

"That's not surprising," Ursa said. "Captain Gan planned on being able to come back. If he wanted to help your prisoner, he could have done it after he got rid of me."

Ling paced back and forth across the room. "The situation has grown more urgent than ever. Lady Ursa, it is now vital that you examine each of my men and determine whether they, too, are firebenders."

Hakoda spoke up. "It's unlikely there would be two firebender spies put here. It would be a pretty stupid move on the Fire Nation's part. Not that I'm crediting them with an abundance of brilliance."

"Still, better safe than sorry. Lady Ursa, it's obvious that you're in need of rest, but I wonder if I could have one more favor from you before you sleep. I have very few men on my base who are not earthbenders. If you could see them now and make sure they are not also firebenders?"

Hakoda stayed quiet, looking at Ursa, who looked ready to topple over. She nodded. "I can do it now." As General Ling went to summon the non-earthbenders on base, Ursa glanced at Hakoda. "You don't have to be here."

Hakoda shrugged. "How could I pass up on all the excitement?"

Ursa looked away. "_I_ could pass up on all the excitement."

It didn't take long for the non-earthbenders to arrive, and Hakoda watched Ursa examine each one carefully. She dismissed the first three, and then frowned at the fourth. "You're an earthbender." She turned to General Ling. "A test, I suppose?"

He looked pleased. "I wanted to be certain of your abilities."

Finally, Ursa had gone through the line of men in the room, picking out three men as earthbenders and twelve as non-earthbenders, and fortunately for everyone, non-firebenders.

"Thank you, Lady Ursa. Chief Hakoda, would you take charge of Ursa's protection tonight?" General Ling said.

"Of course," Hakoda said, at the same moment that Ursa said, "I'll be fine."

Hakoda looked at her, and she stared back, unflinching. "I don't need a guard," she continued firmly.

He could have argued _that _particular point—from what he'd seen, she could have used a guard lately—but he knew enough to keep his mouth shut. "Perhaps you'll do me the honor of allowing me to escort you to your quarters?"

Ursa considered him, and then nodded tiredly. She fell into step beside him as they walked back toward the second floor. She shook out her sleeves and sent dirt flying. Sighing, she said, "I'm beginning to wonder if it's possible for my clothes to stay clean for more than a few hours." There was something in her tone, uncertainty or fear, something he couldn't quite pinpoint, but it was raw and Ursa was doing her best to cover it. Maybe her emotional shields weren't holding up as well as usual under the strain of her exhaustion and after everything that had just happened.

"Are you all right?" he asked quietly.

"I'm fine," Ursa said brusquely. "How else would I be?" She stopped in front of a door down the hallway from the Water Tribe quarters. "This is my room." She turned to go inside, but Hakoda put a hand on her elbow, bringing her to a halt.

Ursa quickly pulled her arm away from his touch, folding her arms tightly against herself. Her eyes were red-rimmed and she was trembling slightly with exhaustion. "I don't know what to do now." She grimaced and closed her eyes briefly. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You haven't done anything. And there's nothing wrong with sharing your burdens with other people."

"Maybe not for you and your friends."

Hakoda frowned at her. "Not for you, either."

She seemed like she might say something, but she finally just sighed. "I can't even think anymore. I just need to sleep, provided no more firebenders wake me up."

"They won't."

Ursa narrowed her eyes. "You're not going to stand guard outside my room."

"No, I'm not."

She still looked suspicious, but went into her room. "Good night, Hakoda."

"Good night, Ursa."

Hakoda waited until her door was shut, and then walked down the hall to the Water Tribe rooms. Once there, he woke up his men to fill them in on the situation, and sent Ornu to patrol the hallway—which included Ursa's door. They wouldn't stand guard, but they'd sure keep a close watch.


	8. A Slippery Slope

**A/N: **Thank you so much to OmniSchreiber, Sirithdiliel, Kimjuni2, and Aristeia for reviewing. :)

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**Chapter Eight - A Slippery Slope**

General Ling and his soldiers had been unable to find their "Captain Gan," which meant that whoever Gan really worked for would now know that Ursa had been aiding the Earth Kingdom and could uncover firebenders.

That knowledge made Ursa's choice for her. She couldn't sit back and go into hiding. It wouldn't matter if she did—the Fire Nation would still believe she was working against them. Her best hope was to do everything she could to help discover the source of these firebender spies, or to find out if there even was one source. Gan had said he knew someone who would have use for a traitor, and though Ursa did not mention the traitor bit, she did tell General Ling that Gan had been taking her to someone.

Ursa and the Water Tribe remained at the army base for four more days. The firebender prisoner still in custody was questioned numerous times, but gave very little useful information. The information he _did _give was extremely dubious. Under the influence of the red spider-fly venom drug, he repeated the name of a town several times. It was thin information, and could have been nothing. It could have been a lie he was chanting to himself or he could have been hallucinating. Still, General Ling confirmed he knew of a member of the underground in this town, and that it would be best to check on the situation.

"I would send a message to an Earth Kingdom base that's closer to the town and have them look into it, but if this _is_ something relevant to the investigation, I don't want to alert any spies that may be in our ranks. You and your tribe, Chief Hakoda, I know I can trust," General Ling said. "This information could be nothing, but it's all we have and if you think it's worth looking into, I would appreciate your assistance. If nothing else, there's bound to be a lot of Fire Nation activity. This town is up north, and we are fairly sure that the Avatar is traveling somewhere in that vicinity."

Ursa watched Hakoda stiffen at this news and was certain he was thinking of his children.

"Another intelligence report came in," Ling continued. "The Avatar was recently seen in a market. There's a fisherman who claims the Avatar saved him during a storm. And wherever the Avatar is, there is bound to be Fire Nation pursuing him. So even if you are unable to find any further leads on these spies in our army and network, you will surely find other tasks in store for your warriors, Chief Hakoda." He turned to Ursa at this point. "However, if this lead on the spies in the Earth Kingdom goes nowhere and the Water Tribe ends up needing to change tactics, it may not be safe for you, Lady Ursa."

Ursa wondered if Ling realized how ridiculous that statement was. "Tell me, General Ling, where _is _it safe? I've been undercover for the Earth Kingdom for years now, and I've yet to find somewhere in this world that has ever stayed safe for me. I think I'll take my chances." She looked quickly at Hakoda. "If you still agree to take me. I may not be much of a fighter, but I'm very good at blending in."

Hakoda nodded. "I believe that. And yes, your knowledge and experience would be very helpful, particularly if we do run into Fire Nation spies."

The journey to their destination was supposed to be two weeks of sailing, give or take a few days depending on the weather. It was there that they would rendezvous with the missing and much talked about Bato. Hakoda had sent him a message from the army base with a map to the rendezvous point.

Even though the Water Tribe men were nothing but kind and welcoming, Ursa felt out of place, like she was intruding on their normality. They were a group of men who hadn't been in the regular company of a woman for a long time, and she wondered how much she might be inconveniencing them.

She got to know some of them a little better than others—it seemed that all three ships had a set group of warriors on board, and as she was back on the same ship, she was again with the same group of men. This didn't mean the men on the other ships were out of touch—there were a lot of messages, conversations, and jokes called back and forth between the boats.

With Ursa staying for an indefinite amount of time, Mikko cleared out a tiny cabin used for storing food and water. He put the supplies in the men's bunker and stuffed some blankets in the storage area so that Ursa had somewhere to sleep below deck. The space was so small that she couldn't even lie straight, but she appreciated the gesture and the privacy. She stacked the extra clothes General Ling had provided her in a corner; other than those clothes and a few other supplies given to her for her journey, she had no belongings. The only other possession she had was the white lotus Pai Sho tile that she had found in Misaki's home. She didn't really know why she was keeping it tucked into her pocket at all times, except that it reminded her of Misaki and of just one more reason she was determined to help get to the bottom of this.

Zuko and Azula were on her mind more than ever. She kept hearing Gan's words to her over and over again about her son being weak. If only she had some idea what was happening to her children. If only she could know that Gan's discovery of her wouldn't get back to Ozai. She had no idea what would happen if Ozai did hear about it, if her actions would make him decide to rescind his bargain with her. It was the greatest of her fears.

After two days of feeling very useless and even more restless, Ursa approached Hakoda and asked him if there was anything she could do to help. She desperately needed _something _to do to keep her from going stir-crazy and thinking of all the what-ifs.

"Anything," she said. "If I'm going to be staying with you, I should help with chores, too."

Hakoda eyed her speculatively before nodding. "How much do you know about sailing?"

"Not much. My—" Ursa hesitated, wondering if _any _bit of information about her past was safe. After a brief inward struggle, she continued, "My grandfather—my mother's father—sailed. I went on a trip with him for a week when I was a child. It didn't go very well."

"Oh?"

"He was a very rich man. He didn't want me to dirty myself or somehow lower my status by actually doing any kind of 'servant's work.' He wouldn't even let his servants teach me to fish. To say I was bored would be an understatement."

"Have you learned to fish off of a boat since then?"

"No. I didn't even go fishing back in Huang. I just bought what I needed from the market."

"Well, then, fishing is a good place to start. We already know you don't mind a little dirt and smell." Hakoda winked at her, and as he turned away and motioned her to follow, she found a smile on her face. It felt almost foreign, and she realized how many days it had been since she had truly had anything to make her smile.

Over the next two weeks, she began to learn a lot: how to catch fish, how to operate various parts of the ship, how to tie proper knots, how to patch up a net, how to do laundry on a crowded boat. She was also introduced to some very important aspects of the Water Tribe: games and food. There was one game all the men played involving marbles and cards, and Ursa turned out to be very good at it. She'd always been good at games and numbers, and beating men who had been playing it for years was…fun. It was fun and it made her feel both strange and a little guilty. Strange because "fun" wasn't exactly a word she ever used to describe something in her life, and guilty because things were horrible and enjoying herself seemed almost treacherous to the people she loved whose fates were unknown.

The food was mostly the dried and stored goods on board, but at the end of their second week of sailing, when they were very close to their destination, they were near enough to shore to dock. They stopped on an abandoned beach to find a stream to restock their fresh water and cook a hot meal. Ursa was unsure about the smell of one huge pot of food the Water Tribe men were cooking, but she took the bowl offered to her, did her best to quell her nausea at the stench, and took a bite.

Despite her best efforts, she almost choked as she swallowed. "Dear spirits, what _is _this?" It was somehow sour and bitter and really salty all at once, and it left a horrible aftertaste in her mouth.

The men laughed at her as she stared down at her bowl, wondering if her stomach would rebel if she attempted another bite and wondering how rude it would be if she declined to eat it.

"Good, isn't it?" Hakoda asked with a hint of mischief in his voice.

Stubbornly, she chewed another bite with a straight face. "Delicious."

Hakoda laughed again and handed her another bowl. "Try that instead. Fish soup. It might be more suited to your tastes. I've found stewed sea prunes are something most people outside of the Water Tribe don't like. And I admit, these stewed sea prunes aren't nearly as good as my daughter makes them." There was that hint of wistfulness in his voice, one that was very familiar to Ursa.

Later that night, as they resumed their journey, Ursa sat on deck, not yet tired enough to cram herself into her little cubby. She watched some of the warriors talking to each other. Hakoda was among them, and she studied his profile as he nodded at something that Ronook was saying. She found herself watching him quite a lot lately. As much as she liked talking and interacting with any of the Water Tribe warriors, or listening to their stories of home and family and _snow _(which was as foreign to her as these people), there was something different about their chief. Or maybe it wasn't that anything was _different, _but that some aspects of her life were very similar to his. Maybe she was drawn to him because he had suffered the loss of his wife and was separated from him children and she understood some of that loss. Maybe it was just that he seemed to know what to say and how to say it. His gentle teasing and his insights made her feel…comfortable.

No, it was more than that. It made her feel like she belonged, and that was something she _didn't _understand. The closest she had come to ever feeling like she belonged like this had been during her visits with Misaki. Even back in the Fire Nation, even when her family had been young and happy, she had never known this kind of friendship—this kind of _giving_. As a noble in the Fire Nation, and then later as royalty, everything had always been about _taking_, with other nobles always trying to gain better standing, higher positions. Lies, manipulation, blackmail, bribery—sometimes she was positive that a den of thieves was a safer place than a royal court.

And she wondered how she had managed to live that life herself.

Hakoda looked at her and she suddenly realized she was staring at him. She quickly averted her gaze and folded her hands tightly on her lap. She had to be careful. It was hard to hold onto her guard all the time with the Water Tribe and she knew she had to be wary with just how comfortable she got. Trust was a slippery slope, and she knew how far it was possible to fall.

She heard footsteps on the deck and knew before she even glanced up that it was Hakoda. He sat down beside her and nodded over at Ronook and Tamoru. "You should feel honored. They're starting a bet about you."

She blinked at him in surprise. "What?"

He nodded seriously. "They're debating how long it will take before we make you crazy enough to jump ship."

Ursa wasn't sure if he was serious or not, so she just looked at him uncertainly. With Hakoda, sometimes it was hard to tell if he was teasing. "How do you do it?"

"Do what? Make someone crazy enough to jump ship?"

"Live with such optimism." Ursa folded her arms across her chest. "All of you. You've lost so much. Your people have lost so much. You haven't seen your families in two years, but you can laugh and joke and seem so happy."

Hakoda was quiet for so long that she thought he wouldn't answer, but at last he replied, "We still have more to live for. As much as we've lost, we can't lose sight of what we still have. If you can't find joy, then the worries and fears will take over and you'll lose sight of the good in life." He waved at the other men still on deck. "We find the good in what we have right now. Sometimes that's all you can do to keep from losing hope."

With effort, she dragged her eyes away from his, fixing them on the water. "Hoping too much can end badly. Nothing lasts in this life."

"Some things last."

"When you lose your family, your home, your friends, when you lose everything you thought you knew and believed in and you're completely alone, there isn't much room to find something that lasts. I fight because I have to, because maybe there's a chance that I can gain back _something_. Because maybe my failures and mistakes can one day mean something."

The words burst out of her and left her breathless. That was more than she had said to anyone except Misaki, and she immediately wished she had kept her mouth shut. She was slipping. One look at the understanding expression on Hakoda's face and she realized just how dangerous he was to her carefully constructed inner walls.

Taking a deep breath, she waited a few seconds until she was calmer, and her voice was much more controlled when she spoke again. "When your life is nothing but lies, it's hard to find hope." She fixed him with a hard stare. "Everyone lies. Even if it's not an outright lie, but a manipulation, everyone does it. Sometimes people have to keep the full truth quiet to protect someone they love—like when you protected the knowledge of your daughter's waterbending."

"Aside from protecting my daughter, do you think I lie to you?" Hakoda didn't look offended, only curious.

"Not directly."

"What do you mean?"

Ursa's hands tightened in her lap. She should have stopped talking long ago. She shouldn't have started this in the first place. "You have been nothing but kind to me."

"That isn't what I asked." Hakoda swiveled so he was facing her directly, and it was his intense gaze that finally pushed the next words out of her mouth.

"It's like when you said you wouldn't stand guard at my door that night on the army base. You kept your word. You didn't stand guard, and you didn't even send anyone else to stand guard, but I woke up and found Ornu patrolling the hallway."

A frown settled on Hakoda's face. "I didn't realize it had upset you. This was three weeks ago. Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"There was no reason. I'm not upset about it. I'm just making a point that you can _say _one thing and mean it, but find other ways around it. Sometimes that can be a good thing. Sometimes it can tear someone's life apart." Ursa paused. "I'm not incompetent, Hakoda. I know it may seem like I am from your perspective, because I keep ending up being chased or captured by firebenders—"

"I _know _you're not incompetent. If you were incompetent, you would be dead. Ursa, while you are working and traveling with our tribe, you fall under the same care and protection that we would give each other. You don't know me as well as my men do—they would have known that under the circumstances, any of us would set a patrol. I should have told you that, and I didn't, because you seemed to already have enough to worry about. We're all competent warriors, but we rely on each other to watch one another's backs. I wasn't trying to mislead you or lull you into a false sense of security so you'd go to sleep and I could have Ornu stare at your door all night. Of course I didn't want anything to happen to you, but I didn't want to be caught unaware and have anything happen to my men, either. The quarters we were staying in were in the same hallway as your room."

Hakoda paused and let that sink in, and then continued. "You already know the only secret I had, and that's not such a secret anymore since Katara left the South Pole and her identity as a waterbender is turning up Earth Kingdom army reports." His eyes were locked on hers, searching and open. "I promise you that I won't do anything that would willingly mislead you in the future, and I promise I will not ever lie to you."

_Promises are worthless._ Ursa didn't say it, but she looked away. "You can't promise that."

"I think I just did."

_It doesn't mean anything_.

It _couldn't_ mean anything. As much as her heart was suddenly tugging at her in a familiar, yet very strange way, as much as she would have liked to believe him, she knew. She knew that in the end, promises were always broken and lives were shattered. And she knew that if Hakoda meant it and could somehow keep any promises he made, then he was a man who shouldn't even be dealing with her. What right did she possibly have to accuse him of any sort of lie when her entire life was one giant web of deceit? Why should she hope for honesty when her secrets and manipulations and sins were too numerous to count?

She was such a hypocrite. She didn't deserve promises, whether they were kept or not, and she certainly didn't deserve the kindness and care that any of the Water Tribe men had given her.

She jumped when Hakoda put a hand on her shoulder, his eyes concerned. She wondered what he saw in her face that could make him look that worried, and she experienced such a surge of guilt and something else, something dangerous, something that she would bury at all costs. She stood up abruptly, her heart racing and her palms sweaty. "Hakoda." Her voice sounded thick, and she cleared her throat. "It was very unfair of me to discuss any of this after everything you have done for me."

"Actually, I think it was a good thing. I learned a little more about you, and maybe you learned a little bit about me." He looked at her shrewdly. "I'm not asking for your unconditional trust. I don't think you would give it to me. I think you have your own secrets that you're unwilling to share. I'm not asking you to tell me what they are. I'm not asking for you to promise anything in return. I'm only telling you that I will not lie to you."

Nothing was unconditional. Part of her wanted to ask what he thought he had learned about her, but the rest of her knew she had to get away from him right then. She couldn't stand to have him look at her the way he was looking at her anymore, as if she was actually worthy of something. "I think I should get some sleep. Good night, Hakoda."

"Good night."

She went down to her tiny sleeping space as fast as she could, hastily replying "good night" to Tamoru and Ronook as she passed them. She curled up in her dark storage closet and breathed in the now-familiar smell of fish and other food scents she couldn't distinguish. Her hands were clenched in fists so tightly that her nails dug into her palms.

It took her a long time to fall asleep, but as conflicted as she felt, she wasn't surprised when she again dreamed of her past, of that night that had taken everything from her and set her on this path.

_Ursa was numb. No, not numb_—_she was dizzy and lightheaded. She had just killed a man. Not only had she killed a _man, _she had killed the Firelord. The leader of her nation. Her father-in-law._

_She told herself that she'd had to do it. She had put herself in a corner and it had become the only way to save Zuko. She told herself that the man she had killed had ordered his son to kill his grandson and that such a person deserved death. She told herself a lot of things, but it didn't stop the racing of her heart or the sick guilt swimming in her stomach. It didn't stop her from wondering what right she had to judge the worth of another person's life, no matter what they were plotting. It didn't stop her from throwing up in one of the flowering bushes in the open walkway between the main part of the palace and her family's private quarters. _

_She braced her hands on her knees and took heavy breaths. Stars flashed before her eyes and she fought to keep from passing out. Her recent words to Zuko about moms biting back when their children were threatened rose to her mind. She had done more than bite._

_Her stomach heaved again, but she clenched her teeth and slowly straightened. Wiping her mouth, she continued into her family's wing of the palace. One step at a time, every footstep seeming to weigh a hundred pounds. _

_She stopped outside the first bedroom. Azula's room. She knew what she had to do, but everything in her screamed against it. How could she just leave her children behind? How could she leave them to the depravity of their father? Azula was already showing worrying signs_—_signs that Ursa had seen hints of, but was now beginning to wonder if she had actually been seeing the whole picture. Azula could be a sweet girl, but Ursa had seen manipulation and lack of empathy starting to grow._

_But Azula was her child, the same little girl she had held and sang to, who she had nursed and played with, who had drawn her pictures and given her flowers. This was the little girl Ursa was terrified for_—_as she had been terrified for Zuko's life, Ursa was terrified for Azula's very state of being. She had always been her father's daughter, always craved Ozai's approval more than Ursa's. If Ursa just left, what would Azula become? Would the roots that Ursa had tried to plant in both her children grow, or would they be choked out by everything else? Who would teach her daughter to become a woman if she wasn't around to do it?_

_Ursa cracked open the door to Azula's room. Her daughter was sound asleep in her bed, her hair splayed out across her pillow. She looked so peaceful when she slept. _

_Ursa stepped into the room and crossed quickly to Azula's bed. She suspected Ozai was lurking somewhere nearby, and she knew she didn't have much time. "Azula." Ursa took Azula by the shoulders and pulled her upright, watching her blink open tired eyes. "Azula, darling."_

_"Mom? What are you doing in my room?" Azula wiped her eyes, then froze when Ursa hugged her tightly._

_"Azula, I need you to remember how much I love you. No matter what happens, no matter what you learn or what other people tell you, I love you and I believe in you. You have so much potential, Azula. Potential for good and beauty and life_—_everything this nation should stand for."_

_"Mom, you're being really strange," Azula mumbled._

_Ursa gently set her back on her pillow and smoothed her hair. "Don't forget. Trust is far more precious than fear, and so much harder to grasp." She stood, turning one last look back at Azula as she walked out the door and into the next room. _

_Zuko looked even more sleepy than Azula when she woke him, and he stared at her with dazed eyes. "Mom?"_

_Ursa drew on every bit of strength that she thought she had left. She had to be strong. She had to leave him with this, and she had to hope that he and Azula would someday find understanding. Zuko would be next in line for the throne; his understanding would be everything to this country. "Zuko. Please, my love, listen to me. Everything I've done," she said, pulling him into a hug, "I've done to protect you. Remember this, Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are."_

_With a smile for the child for whom she had just sacrificed everything, she drew the hood of her cloak over her head and left his room. Her smile slipped and the last vestiges of her strength seemed to drop out from under her._

_And there was Ozai, standing in the shadows of the hall. She walked past him without sparing him another look. "It's done."_

_She had been wrong. Her world was not just shattered into pieces; those pieces had been ground up and thrown to the wind. _

_Maybe one day her children would be able to forgive her for leaving them behind. Maybe one day they would learn and understand. Maybe her sacrifice_—_of her home, her family, of putting blood on her hands_—_would matter._

_Maybe one day, she would be able to forgive herself. _

_She wasn't counting on it._


	9. One Step Forward

**A/N: **Thank you so, so much to you lovely reviewers: ArrayePL, Kimjuni2, Aristeia, ayameko2TTe, Star, JFAPOI, things24, vicious-fluffy-bunny-llama, Sobatra, and hplo.

* * *

**Chapter Nine - One Step Forward**

The cove where Hakoda and his men landed was sheltered among walls of rocky cliffs. It was secluded—the local village was far up a hill and through the thick woods that dominated the area, but that worked well to make the Water Tribe less conspicuous.

Bato's boat was already pulled up on shore at the rendezvous point when the rest of the Water Tribe arrived mid-afternoon, and Bato was standing on the beach, hand held up in greeting. As they docked, the air was full of shouts of greeting.

"It's good to see you in one piece." Hakoda grinned and clasped Bato's arm. Bato's previously injured arm was red and scarred, but looked far better than it had when Hakoda had last seen him.

"And it's good to see you haven't sunk the fleet while I've been gone," Bato returned. "I have some welcome news for you, Hakoda. I met up with Sokka and Katara."

Hakoda listened in relief as Bato filled him in on his reunion with Sokka and Katara and his meeting of the Avatar. "He's very young and he has a lot to learn, but he has the best people helping him."

While Hakoda was overjoyed to have such recent news of his children, he couldn't help but feel sadness that he hadn't been the one to see them, to take Sokka ice (well, in this case, rock) dodging, to see that they were as grown up as Bato said. He was, however, grateful that they'd had Bato to give them news and to raise their spirits. Quietly, he told Bato, "Thank you."

Bato nodded. "So what trouble have you been getting into while I've been gone?" he asked loudly, addressing all the men.

They exchanged glances, and Bato looked at Hakoda. "That bad?"

"I think you should meet Ursa," Hakoda replied.

The next little while was spent introducing Ursa to Bato and explaining everything that had happened since leaving him at the abbey. While Bato was being filled in on the situation, some of the men were busy transferring supplies to Bato's ship. The warriors who had been on his boat before would be moving back to it, so things would be a little less crowded.

As everything was being rearranged, Bato pulled Hakoda to the side. His eyes flickered over to Ursa, who was standing out of the way of the men moving things around. "I have to say, this is one development I didn't expect. I realize that you have all been through a lot with this woman over the past weeks, but I haven't had the chance to get to know her. What can you tell me about her?"

Hakoda would have been surprised if Bato didn't question Ursa's presence. Bato had always been the voice of reason and caution, even during their troublemaking escapades at the South Pole. Of course, in those days, his "voice of reason" had been making sure that the rope they had was actually strong enough to lasso the arctic hippo. As Hakoda's second in command, he and Hakoda normally discussed any major decisions.

Hakoda glanced over at Ursa, then back at Bato. "She's a woman who's lost everything in her life."

"You have to understand that some of this situation looks very circumstantial when you just step into it," Bato said.

"Are you worried that she's one of these Fire Nation spies whose purpose was to infiltrate the Water Tribe?" Hakoda asked.

"The thought did cross my mind, but I knew if it had crossed mine after just hearing about what's been going on, then it had undoubtedly crossed yours. And since she's still here, I know you trust her at least enough to not be a spy for the Fire Nation."

"We weren't even supposed to be in her town the night her inn burned down," Hakoda answered. "I might have been suspicious if we planned to be there. And as you said, we've had time to get to know her a little—as much as she'll let us."

Bato raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"

"Let's just say she keeps herself closed up pretty tightly, but I think we've been getting through to her here and there." Hakoda's eyes flickered over to Ursa again.

"Your instincts about people have always been very good. You've told me her situation, but what do you make of her, Hakoda?"

Hakoda considered carefully before answering. Over the weeks she had been with them, she had, as he had told Bato, been relaxing more, taking the joking and teasing of the men in stride, and the closest he saw her to being happy was when she was beating them at their games. He told this to Bato, and then added, "She's hardworking and she pushes herself too much. She's afraid of appearing weak, and she doesn't like to rely on people to protect her." His forehead creased and he shook his head. "I think she doesn't know _how _to rely on others. She told me she lost her family to the war. I haven't asked for details, but whatever she's been through in her past has made it hard for her to trust. I still don't think she trusts us completely."

"Well, I can't say I blame her for that," Bato mused. "Trust can be very tricky ground to walk on."

Hakoda nodded. He thought of the recent night when Ursa had spoken so adamantly of hopelessness and lies. It had been a huge crack in her defenses and he had seen more than ever the deep well of emotions she kept locked inside, and it made him wonder that much more about what had happened to her to make her believe there was no honesty in the world.

"She grew up in a noble family," Hakoda continued. "I heard her tell Tamoru that she was raised by her aunt, and she mentioned a grandfather to me. I know that she has nightmares and trouble sleeping—we all know it." There had been a time or two when they'd heard her cry out in her sleep. Mostly, Hakoda had learned to tell when she had a nightmare because she would wake up and go up on deck to get some fresh air. The men on watch knew to expect her company at random hours of the night. "I think that she has plenty of secrets, but I don't think she's dangerous to us." He clapped a hand on Bato's shoulder. "And I think you'll get along very well with her. You both have very similar senses of humor."

"Oh?" Bato gave Hakoda a narrow-eyed, scrutinizing look—one that meant he thought he had figured something out.

"Is there something else?"

Bato's eyes darted over to Ursa again, then back to Hakoda. "Not right now." He briefly grasped Hakoda's shoulder. "It's good to be back. And now that I know about our mysterious guest—" he gave Hakoda another furtive look "—why don't you tell me what your plan is? Are we just going into the local village to check out the undergrounder here and see if we can turn anything else up?"

"Yes. Very carefully. There's a Fire Nation colony not too far from here. I want to wait until nightfall. Our member of the underground runs a tavern—it'll probably be busiest at night and we can just blend in."

The sky was overcast when the sun set, hiding the sun and stars, but at least there was no rain. When it was completely dark, Hakoda readied for the trip to the nearby village. He was only taking a small group to try to avoid being noticed. "Bato and Notu, you're with me. Pika, hold down the ships while we're gone. Ursa, if there are firebenders, it would be nice to have a heads-up, if you're ready."

Ursa nodded. "I am."

Hakoda, Bato, and Notu donned brown cloaks that worked well for covering up their blue clothing, and along with Ursa, they headed for the village, carrying a lantern with them. They hadn't walked far away from the cove when they came across a dirt road. It cut through the trees and made it much easier to walk.

There was also a signpost along the way, with posters stuck to it, and they paused to look at them. Notu pointed at one notice. "Looks like that Fire Nation town nearby had some kind of celebration recently."

Ursa's hand went to a poster of an older man, labeled "The Deserter," and Hakoda saw the flash of surprise on her face. He looked more closely at the poster over her shoulder and saw that the man was a Fire Nation deserter. "A Fire Nation admiral?" Hakoda read. Bato and Notu turned their attention to the poster. "Would you look at that. I guess even some of the Firelord's own military leaders disagree with him."

"Well, that gives us one more advantage in this war," Notu said. "We need all the advantages we can get." He tapped the image of the Fire Nation deserter. "Good luck to you—" he squinted at the writing on the poster in the light of their torch "—Jeong Jeong."

Ursa stared at them, and Hakoda raised his eyebrows at her. "You look like you just swallowed stewed sea prunes. What's wrong?"

"He's a Fire Nation admiral," she pointed out, her voice full of incomprehension. "And Notu is wishing him luck."

"He's a _former _Fire Nation admiral," Notu corrected. "There's a chasm between the two." They started walking again, and he kept talking. "The Fire Nation's wrong. I know it, you know it, but the Fire Nation doesn't know it. At least, most of them. But if there's some guy in the Fire Nation who realizes that it's wrong, he needs all the luck he can get." He flashed Ursa a smile. "And where there's one deserter, there are usually more. One less admiral for them means one more that could help our side of the war."

Ursa still looked unsettled. "I don't understand. This man fought against you before he deserted. He might have attacked or conquered parts of the Earth Kingdom. He might have killed for the Fire Nation. If this man walked up to you right now and said he wanted to help us fight against the Fire Nation, you would trust him?"

"Trust is earned." It was Bato who spoke this time. He was studying her, as he had been earlier—as he would likely continue to do until he got to know her a little bit. "But if he proved his worth, then as Notu said, it could be a great advantage to us."

"The Fire Nation has hurt all of us," Hakoda put in. "As a whole, their nation is after power and control. This Jeong Jeong is an important reminder that it is individuals that make up the nation, and some of those individuals may come to see the truth in what their country is doing."

"And you could forgive them for the wrongs they did with the Fire Nation?" Ursa's voice was almost harsh, but underneath that, she was far more upset than the situation seemed to warrant.

"Acceptance and forgiveness are very different things," Bato stated. "Sometimes, we have to accept something—or someone—that we might not be able to forgive."

"I believe that people can change," Hakoda said. "Everyone makes mistakes. This war has been going on for a hundred years, and the children grow up being taught that whatever side their parents are on is the right side. So I have to believe that even some people in the Fire Nation can learn differently. Everyone deserves a second chance."

"What if this man was responsible for the death of someone you loved?" Ursa's eyes went to Hakoda, and he immediately thought of Kya. "Would you give_ him_ a second chance?"

He didn't know how to answer that. If it was Kya's killer that was in question, would he be able to even accept the man? His first, loudest instinct was to say no. As Bato had said, there was a huge difference in acceptance and forgiveness. He had accepted her death, but he wasn't sure he would be able to accept the killer under any circumstance.

Maybe that was Ursa's conflict. Maybe, whoever her family had been and however she had lost them, it had happened in a way that she just couldn't accept anyone from the Fire Nation. "I don't know," he finally told her.

Her eyes slid away from his and she nodded as if she had expected that answer. She was silent the rest of the way to town.

The village was like any number that Hakoda had seen in his travels of the Earth Kingdom. At night, there weren't many people out and about. As he had predicted, the most noticeable crowd was going in and out of the tavern.

To draw less attention, Bato and Notu went inside first. Hakoda waited outside with Ursa for a few minutes, minding their own business as people came and went, and then they headed inside. Hakoda spotted Bato and Notu sitting at the back of the tavern, keeping an eye on the room. There were so many different types of people talking, laughing, and drinking that Bato and Notu fit right in.

Hakoda motioned Ursa, and they went up to the counter. There was a well-built man with a tattoo on his upper arm behind the counter. He barely glanced at them as he handed a glass to someone else. "What can I get for you folks?"

"We're looking for the owner," Hakoda said.

"That's me."

Hakoda glanced at Ursa, who was studying the man as he moved around. Finally, she shook her head and murmured to Hakoda, "He's not any kind of bender as far as I can tell."

The owner handed over another drink and looked at Hakoda and Ursa. "Are you buying or not?"

"Actually, we're here for different reasons. May the sun shine upon your path."

The man's eyes brightened. "And may the moon guide your steps." He looked around surreptitiously and leaned closer to them. "What can I do for you folks?"

"First, I have a warning. There are Fire Nation spies who have infiltrated the underground. We've come across two of them," Hakoda explained. "One of them kept mentioning this town under questioning, but we don't know why. We were sent to check on you and to find out if anything might be going on here."

"Spies," the man echoed, alarmed. "As if I didn't already have enough trouble sleeping at night!" He sighed and shook his head. "Thanks for the warning, friend. I don't know what could be going on here that's out of the ordinary. There are Fire Nation patrols that come through all the time—makes sense, being there's a town of 'em not far from here. They take away anyone who shows themselves an earthbender." He greeted a customer who walked up and got them a drink before turning back to Hakoda and Ursa. "There has been news of the Avatar that's come to my attention recently. See, the Fire Nation town was having a celebration a few days back, and from what I'm told, the Avatar caused a big stir there. That was when that Fire Nation admiral found more trouble than he knew what to do with. I hear he's got quite an obsession with capturing the Avatar."

"Does this Admiral have a name?" Hakoda asked.

"Zhao. Admiral Zhao."

Ursa visibly jerked at the mention of Admiral Zhao's name and Hakoda glanced at her. "Have you heard of this guy?"

She hesitated, and then nodded slowly. "I…yes. Yes, I have. Nothing good."

"Same here." The tavern owner shook his head. "Now, I don't know if you've seen the posters, but it seems not all the Fire Nation military thinks this war's a good thing. I hear there's this deserter—Jeong Jeong—and he helped the Avatar. Somehow this ended up with Admiral Zhao's boats in flames and the Avatar escaping. Apparently, the guy's not too happy right now."

Hakoda frowned. "Have you ever met this Admiral Zhao?"

The owner scoffed. "No, and I hope my luck holds out."

Hakoda felt pressure on his arm and tensed before realizing that Ursa was gripping him, her expression alert. Her eyes slid to his, and she whispered, "Firebender. Corner table on the left. He came in just after we did. He's trying not to be conspicuous, but he's definitely paying us attention. I don't know if he's alone—it's so crowded and I can't get a good look at how everyone's moving."

Hakoda was flooded with the heightened readiness that always came with the threat of danger. It took effort to keep from turning to look at the left corner. The owner of the tavern finished attending another customer, and when he faced them again, his words died in his throat. "What's wrong?"

"You have at least one firebender in your tavern," Hakoda told him.

"What?" the owner hissed, his gaze again darting around the room.

Ursa's grip on Hakoda's arm tightened. "It's not us he keeps looking at—it's me. I need to leave," she said abruptly, letting go of Hakoda's arm. "I shouldn't have come. I'm a danger to everyone here."

Hakoda shook his head. "Ursa, we don't know where the firebender from the army base went, but it's jumping to conclusions to think that all the Fire Nation is on the lookout for you. Even if he had headed this way, it doesn't mean he's had time to spread the word about you."

"You don't understand." Ursa was apprehensive. More than that—she was frightened. Despite her calm voice, he could see the fear in her eyes. "I've put you all in danger."

Hakoda caught Bato's eye across the room and made a hand gesture. Bato nodded once, such a small movement that Hakoda doubted anyone else would notice. Bato leaned forward and spoke to Notu, and they slowly rose from their seats.

Hakoda motioned Ursa toward the door and finally got a look at the man in the left corner. He was now on his feet, and he was definitely staring straight at Ursa.

Hakoda and Ursa took one more step before chaos exploded in the tavern. The firebender threw a blast of flame across the room. People shouted and scrambled to get away as the firebender quickly created a blazing wall across the inn, cutting Hakoda and Ursa off from the door—and from Bato and Notu. Hakoda glimpsed them through the fire, but their attention was occupied by the Fire Nation soldiers who burst in the entrance. Flames were flying and people were fighting and it was hard to make out the details through the growing blaze. Hakoda had his own problems—the firebender who had started it all was approaching him and Ursa.

Hakoda moved in front of her, holding his club aloft. He could take on one firebender, and find a way to get out of here, get to Bato and Notu…but what about Ursa? She couldn't fight.

The tavern owner suddenly jumped between Hakoda and the firebender. "I have a back entrance!" he told Hakoda. "Behind the counter, straight down the hall!"

When Hakoda hesitated, the owner shouted, "Don't worry about me! Get out of here! Go, go!" With an angry shout, he threw himself at the firebender.

Hakoda didn't waste anymore time. If Ursa hadn't been there, he would have stayed to fight, but if she was right and the firebender was after her, the quickest way to get trouble away from the people in the tavern was to leave. He turned, grabbing Ursa's hand and pulling her quickly around the counter toward the door behind it. It led to a hallway with several rooms, with one door at the end.

The sounds of the fight in the tavern faded as Hakoda opened that door and stepped outside, still tugging Ursa behind him. He had barely begun to formulate a plan on what to do next when something slammed down on his head. He heard Ursa cry out and then blackness swallowed him.


	10. Falling Faster

**A/N: **Thanks again to everyone who reviewed: hplo, ArrayePL, Aristeia, Star, Sirithdiliel, ayameko2TTe, things24, Kimjuni2, Caellach Tiger Eye, and JFAPOI.

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**Chapter Ten - Falling Faster**

Ursa yelled as someone grabbed her the instant Hakoda tugged her out the back door of the tavern. Her hand was torn out of Hakoda's grip and she struggled with the person who pinned her arms behind her back. She got a glimpse of Fire Nation uniforms, and she stilled as a sword was pointed at her by one of the soldiers.

The next thing she noticed was Hakoda, crumpled in a heap on the ground, and terror shot through her. She hadn't seen what had happened to him. Had he been stabbed? Was he dead?

Her hands were bound swiftly behind her back. "You're coming with us," the soldier holding her at sword point said. "You've been causing the Fire Nation a lot of trouble lately."

Ursa couldn't take her eyes off of Hakoda. Her fault. This was another thing that was her fault. If he was dead—

Dizzying relief swept through her when she finally saw the slight movement of his body as he breathed.

"What do we do with him?" one of the soldiers asked, prodding Hakoda with his boot.

The sword-wielding man turned and examined Hakoda. "Water Tribe. Let's bring him, too. The admiral might have use for him. Let's move!" To Ursa, he added, "If you come quietly, we won't have to kill your boyfriend."

The juvenility of that statement was ridiculous, but the threat wasn't. Even had Ursa been capable of fighting against a group of armed Fire Nation soldiers with her hands tied behind her back, she wasn't about to do something to put Hakoda's life at further risk.

_What about Notu and Bato? Did they get out? Are they dead? Oh, dear spirits, let them be safe._

The next little while was a nightmare. Ursa was led to a covered wagon and shoved in the back of it. She ended up in an awkward, uncomfortable position on her side and had to struggle to sit, difficult to do when her arms were behind her. Hakoda was dumped in next to her, but she could barely make out the shape of his prone body in the darkness, let alone see if he was injured. Two soldiers jumped into the back of the wagon and sat down, their eyes on her. She met their gazes steadily, with every ounce of anger that she had. If they thought she was going to cower, they had another thing coming.

Ursa fought back her frustration and hopelessness. She didn't think that there would be any little earthbending girls running around underground to save her this time. Most of the Water Tribe was out at the cove, and Bato and Notu…

She squeezed her eyes shut as the wagon started moving swiftly down the road. She hadn't even realized how loud the sounds at the tavern were until they faded into the distance. The image of the fire in the tavern was blazing on the insides of her eyelids. That poor owner would lose his home and business, too, just as she had lost hers. Another thing to take responsibility for, another wrong that she couldn't right.

She was aware of the moment that Hakoda woke. He groaned and shifted, his shoulder bumping into her leg. Her eyes had adjusted as much as they could, and Hakoda was close enough that she could see his eyes blink slowly open and focus on her face. Then his eyes widened and he tried to move, only to discover his hands were bound. He sat up a lot faster than she had managed to.

"Stop moving, or I'll run you through." The Fire Nation soldier's voice seemed far too loud after the silence of the past while. He pointed his sword at Hakoda's nose. "Our orders were only to capture _her _alive."

Hakoda's voice was calm, though Ursa could see the anger simmering beneath the surface, when he quietly asked her, "Are you hurt?"

"No talking!" the soldier growled.

Ursa shook her head at Hakoda. He looked around grimly, and she wished she could apologize. She knew that whatever happened next, whatever the Fire Nation did to Hakoda, it would be on her hands. He thought the Fire Nation only wanted her because she could detect firebenders. She knew better.

He was going to find out. It would be a miracle if he didn't find out where she was from, and exactly who she was. That thought terrified her almost as much as what might happen to her. For all that Hakoda, Bato, and Notu had just talked about acceptance and individuality, she had a hard time believing they could really hold to it. Their words and ideals were lovely, but words and ideals could shatter when faced with reality. And the reality that they had been traveling with someone from the Fire Nation, that Hakoda had gotten captured because of her, could strip away all of their beautiful notions.

Maybe she could at least get some news on her children. If she could know whether or not Ozai had heard that she was working underground for the Earth Kingdom, if she could know whether that had led to something horrible happening to Zuko and Azula, it might not change her situation, but she would _know_.

Hakoda's head tilted back, and Ursa finally saw a splotch of darkness on his cheek. She slowly leaned as close to him as she dared and got a better look. As she had suspected, it was blood. It traced a thin line from his scalp. One of the soldiers must have hit him on the head.

Hakoda's gaze met hers, his face so close to hers that their noses almost touched. He was watching her with worry, and she knew him well enough by now to realize that it wasn't worry for himself—it was for her. His shoulder bumped against hers, a gesture that was somehow reassuring and at the same time made her gut wrench with guilt.

She could feel her walls going up, those careful shields she was so adept at constructing, and it wasn't until that moment that she realized how far those walls had crumbled. In that moment, she realized a lot of things—the full weight of them hit her like a bolt of lightning.

She realized that she was frantically trying to pull away from Hakoda's care and concern, because she was sure she was going to lose it as soon as he found out who she was. She realized that the past month had given her more reason to have faith in people than she'd had in countless years. Even with Misaki, it had been different. She was Ursa's mentor and friend, but secrets had always been part of their relationship. In her own way, Misaki could be as secretive as Ursa, and that had suited them both because they both understood the necessity of it.

With the Water Tribe, it was different. With Hakoda, the differences went even further. All the things he had said to her, his promise to be honest with her—even if she didn't believe such a promise would be kept, she wanted to believe it.

But she had let herself be blinded in the past. She couldn't afford to let it happen again. She had to prepare herself for the mistrust and disgust that would come when Hakoda found out that she was Fire Nation.

For years, she had kept her heritage silent and bottled up because it had been necessary. She had told herself that if anyone found out about her past, and word somehow got back to Ozai, he would carry through on his threat to end their bargain. She had kept her silence for her children's sakes.

Bumping along in the wagon next to Hakoda, she realized that her silence had been for selfish reasons, too. Living in her inn, she had been accepted and cared for by the town, and she had needed that. With the loss of her family and her country, she had needed to keep quiet to be accepted by the people around her.

She was selfish. So very, very selfish. Her desire to hold onto _something_ in her life, to have some kind of acceptance and maybe even friendship, had put her in this position. It had put Hakoda in this position. After all, her identity had already been compromised when a firebender caught her at the army base. If she had been willing to tell at least the Water Tribe where she was from after that, then maybe they wouldn't be in this predicament. Maybe she would have been left behind or turned her over to the Earth Kingdom so they could deal with her.

There was a voice deep inside of her that protested, that said that Hakoda might just understand, and that he might have kept her on board even had he known she was Fire Nation. This was the voice she was trying the hardest to drown out, because it was the one that had the potential to hurt her the most. It offered _hope_.

She had no idea how long the wagon bumped along the road. It seemed an eternity. She struggled with herself the whole time, fluctuating between panicked and strangely calm. There was nothing she could do at this moment but to accept that things were not going in her favor, and were likely to get worse.

When the wagon finally ground to a halt, she had made her decision. Maybe she was selfish, and maybe she was a coward, and maybe she was so many things, but if Hakoda was about to find out about her, then she was going to be the one to tell him.

Everything she had drilled into herself over the past years screamed in protest. Everything she had gained with the Water Tribe in the past month that she stood to lose tried to glue her mouth shut. But she would lose it anyway, as soon as one of the soldiers mentioned something about her in front of Hakoda.

The two soldiers in the back of the wagon pushed out the back of the wagon, and Ursa got a glimpse of night sky before the covering shut again.

"You're not hurt?" Hakoda murmured quickly as soon as they were alone.

Ursa shook her head, trying to find her voice. "I have to tell you something." She could hear the soldiers talking outside; she didn't know how much time she had. She forced herself to meet his eyes and saw his concern. "It's my fault. This. All of it. It's _my fault_." She found herself fighting against furious, aching tears. She would not cry. She _would not_.

His voice was quiet when he next spoke. "What?" Almost like he couldn't believe the words she had just said, or maybe it was just that they made no sense to him.

It got harder to hold in her tears. "It's my fault," she repeated, and as painful and hard as it was to say, there was a sense of liberation in speaking the words, a freedom in admitting her guilt. The wagon covering was opening again—she was out of time. The next words burst out of her in a whispered rush. "I'm not from the Earth Kingdom. I'm from the Fire Nation, Hakoda."

She got a glimpse of his frozen expression, and then the soldiers were yanking her out of the wagon and standing her on her feet. Hakoda was pulled out after her, but she couldn't look at him. She didn't want to see the anger on his face as he realized that she was from the country that had taken his wife from him, that was hunting his children.

She finally got a good look at where they were. They were at an ocean harbor, and waiting in the water was a Fire Nation warship. It was to this ship that she and Hakoda were taken. It was crawling with uniformed soldiers, but they weren't what caught Ursa's notice. It was the man standing straight-backed in the middle of the deck, his attention completely focused on her.

Her heart thudded loudly against her ribcage as she was brought to a halt in front of him. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Hakoda beside her, but her eyes remained fixed on the man before her.

"Zhao." Her voice was tense.

"Ursa. My, it has been a while. Most people back home think you're a coward and a runaway—the ones who don't believe you're dead. If only they knew."

She was really not surprised to find out Zhao was behind her capture, but it made her even more wary. She had never liked Zhao during any of the encounters she'd had with him. He was impatient and impulsive, and anything he did was for his own gain and rank. He could claim it was for the Fire Nation, but she had been around him enough to know that he was more worried about his own glory.

"Imagine my surprise when my spy came back from that idiot General Ling's army base and told me he had found _you_ working for the Earth Kingdom." Zhao's smile was self-satisfied.

Ursa stiffened. "_Your _spy?" Was _Zhao_ behind these spies in the Earth Kingdom's network?

Zhao didn't answer her, but finally looked at Hakoda. "And one of the infamous Water Tribe warriors. Come now, did you really think you would be able to protect her? You have a few measly ships. I have far more at my disposal. Finding out where you landed was not so difficult. Stationing soldiers in the surrounding towns to keep a lookout for you—" he turned his attention back to Ursa "—was even easier."

"What do you want, Zhao?" Ursa wasn't afraid of him. Faced with the man pulling some of these strings, she found her anger taking over any fears she had. Zhao didn't scare her. He only infuriated her, which was good. She needed her anger right now, needed it to keep her strong and protect her.

Zhao's smug smile widened. "Oh, we'll get to that shortly." To his men, he said, "Throw them in the hold. Ursa, I look forward to our conversation. We have _much _to discuss."

It was all she could do to refuse to acknowledge him and not spit on him.

In short order, Ursa found herself locked in a tiny room with Hakoda. It was the space on the ship used for transporting prisoners—no furniture, no tapestries, and a heavy metal door with only a barred window to let a little bit of light in from the torches in the corridor.

The shackles on Ursa and Hakoda's wrists weren't removed. Ursa sat with her arms behind her back, leaning against one corner, still avoiding looking at Hakoda. He slowly sat near her—not that he had a lot of choices; the space was so small that _anywhere _was near her.

Ursa drew her legs up to her chest and closed her eyes. It was over. Everything she had worked for, everything she had sacrificed. If Zhao could use her as leverage to get a better position with Ozai, he would do it in a heartbeat. She would end up in prison or dead. And Hakoda would be locked away, unable to even go back to his men or to find out of Bato and Notu were alive…

She jerked and her eyes snapped open when something touched her foot. Hakoda had shifted to sit directly in front of her and bumped his boot against hers. He caught her gaze and she froze. There wasn't any of the anger or hatred as she had expected to see, only questioning, and somehow that made it worse. She didn't know why. Did she _want _him to be mad at her? Or was it just that she knew she deserved it?

"I'm sorry, Hakoda." The words somehow pushed past her clogged throat.

"Ursa, I can't understand unless you tell me-"

"I don't want your understanding!" Ursa cried, her breathing rapid. "I don't deserve it, Hakoda! The person I am—you're too good. You are a _good man._ You are selfless and loving and you deserve to be home with your children, taking them penguin sledding and building snowmen and eating your daughter's stewed sea prunes. Instead, you're stuck on a Fire Nation warship because of me!"

Hakoda considered her, still without any ire. There was some caution in his eyes, but it was far less than she had anticipated. "You're a noble from the Fire Nation."

"Was." Behind her back, she clenched her hands into fists. "A long time ago."

"Why did you leave the Fire Nation?" Hakoda asked quietly.

Ursa shook her head reflexively, biting her lip. It was so strange to be discussing this at all, let alone with Hakoda. She had spent so long hiding this that even when it was out in the open, she didn't know how to talk about it. "I had to."

He waited, and she warred with herself. There were still some things she was unwilling to tell him. He might find out from people on this ship that she had once been married to Ozai, and maybe she should save him the trouble and tell him now, but her shame was still too great. The pain was still too great. She knew if she told him the whole story, she wouldn't be able to contain her tears and she needed to maintain control of herself. And there were some secrets that really weren't safe to tell. As long as Ozai was in power, she couldn't tell anyone the full truth. She couldn't risk Ozai finding out, and even if she thought she could trust Hakoda to keep it a secret, there was no guarantee it wouldn't come out if he was questioned.

She was quiet for a long moment, sorting through her thoughts, before she spoke. "I left for my children." Ursa took a deep breath and turned her face upward. "My son and my daughter. They were my whole world. And I failed them." She swallowed and blinked to clear her eyes, forcing herself to look at Hakoda again.

"Are your children alive, Ursa?"

"I…think so. I haven't seen them in so long. I lost them to the war years ago because I wasn't strong enough to save them from it." Her voice cracked. "I don't know if I'll ever see them again."

Hakoda shifted so that he was sitting beside her, his arm pressed against hers.

"You should hate me."

"Why? Because you're from the Fire Nation? Didn't you hear anything that Bato and Notu—" his voice halted, only for a moment, but it was enough to tell Ursa that he was worried about Bato and Notu, too "—and I were talking about earlier?"

"I heard it. I don't believe it."

"Why not? Because you don't think that anyone could accept you as a former Fire Nation noble?"

"Because I've done horrible things. I'd like to tell you that I left the Fire Nation because I woke up one morning and realized that the war was wrong, but it wouldn't be true. I left because I didn't have a choice."

Hakoda didn't move, just sat there searching her eyes as though he could find the answers in them. "What do you mean?"

"I…" Ursa hesitated. "There was someone who wanted to use my son as means to an end. They were going to kill him. I struck a bargain to save him."

There was a heavy silence, and Hakoda finally said, "I've done a lot of things in this war to protect my children."

"It's different."

"How?" Hakoda wasn't making this easy. Of course he wasn't; since when had he ever made it easy for her? He never pushed her, always let her go her own pace, never asked her for her trust. Maybe that was why he was gaining it. And that made all of this worse.

_Because Ozai wouldn't have been Firelord if not for me._ Either Azulon would have lived longer and continued the war, or he would have died and Iroh would have become Firelord. There was no guarantee that Iroh would have been different, that the war wouldn't have continued or been worse if she had remained uninvolved, but she couldn't pretend she had nothing to do with the state of the world. She had ensured that Ozai had the throne, and that was crime enough. Zuko had been spared, but the world was suffering.

"It is." She heard the pain and bitterness in her voice. "Because of my bargain, I was cast out of the Fire Nation and told if I ever returned, my son's life would be forfeit." A sob caught in her throat and she wasn't sure if she loathed herself more for her lack of control or because she was still talking.

Hakoda was staring at her with disbelief. More than that, with sympathy that she had not expected. "So you came to the Earth Kingdom."

"I spent the first months traveling a lot. I had no home, nothing but what I could scrape together for myself." Ursa was talking faster; now that her bottle of lies was open and Hakoda was listening instead of judging, it was coming more easily. "It was hard, but it was good that it was hard. It taught me a lot. It showed me the devastation that my nation was causing. And then I met Misaki. She didn't know where I came from. No one knew. But she gave me a real chance to make a difference against the Fire Nation in the war. She helped me purchase the inn, and she brought me into the Earth Kingdom underground. It was the least that I could do. And I was there at that inn, aiding the Earth Kingdom, until the day a firebender walked in. He didn't understand how I could tell he was a firebender. To be honest, I can only pick out earthbenders because I've lived among them for five years. I'm much better at distinguishing the movement of firebenders, because I lived among them the rest of my life."

As silence again fell, Ursa leaned her head against the wall. Inside she felt _hollow_. Hollow and drained…but a little bit free. She whispered, "So now you know. You probably don't believe me. And I won't blame you for that."

"I believe you."

Her eyes snapped over to his face.

"I told you the other night that I knew you were keeping secrets. I didn't imagine they were anything quite like this, but I still believe that you're on our side, Ursa."

"You…do?" That little voice—the one that held hope, the one she had been trying to ignore this whole time—was getting a bit louder. And more than anything, she knew there was no going back. She was falling down that slippery slope of trust and she didn't how she was going to find her feet again.

"I do," Hakoda said firmly. "And I'd like for _both _of us to get out of this mess. So right now, I need you to tell me everything you can about this Zhao."


	11. Secrets and Spies

**A/N: **Thank you to hplo, Aristeia, things24, Sobatra, Star, ayameko2TTe, Kimjuni2, Obscure Stranger, and blknblupanther1 for reviewing! I really appreciate the feedback!

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**Chapter Eleven - Secrets and Spies**

"Zhao." Ursa shook her head. "He's an impatient man who thinks always of his own gain. He has no restraint. What happened back in town has Zhao written all over it. He jumped at the chance to grab me, and didn't care who was in the way or if he had to be reckless to do it." She frowned. She had certainly had plenty of run-ins with Zhao back in the Fire Nation, but she had no idea how things might have changed in five years. "He—"

She stopped talking when the door to the cell opened and two soldiers came in. Hakoda rolled to his knees in front of her. If his words that he believed her hadn't been proof enough that he didn't hate her, then his protective reaction would have convinced her. She still didn't understand why he would _want_ to protect her. She did understand, though, that trying to protect her would only get him hurt. He was dispensable to Zhao.

"You're coming with us." One of the soldiers pointed at Ursa. To Hakoda, he growled, "Back off, Water Tribe."

Ursa got to her feet and stepped around Hakoda before he could get hurt. Right now, she wasn't the one who needed protection. "I'm coming," she said calmly, even though inside, she was anything but calm.

The soldiers grabbed her arms and hustled her from the tiny room, slamming and locking the door behind them. She was taken to another room that had a desk, a chair in the middle, and a large Fire Nation tapestry hanging on the wall. Zhao was inside, waiting by the chair.

Ursa was pushed into the chair, and then the soldiers stood at attention beside her while Zhao paced back and forth in front of her like a prowling wolf-cat. "Hello again, Ursa."

She only glared at him.

"Wouldn't the Firelord be interested to know what his wife has been doing, working against him."

"I have not been Ozai's wife for five years, Zhao. Perhaps you should make sure you have your facts straight. In fact, I have never been wife to the Firelord. He divorced me _before _his coronation," Ursa retorted. "What do you want with me? If your plan is to use me to gain more power with Ozai—"

"Actually, I have no need for the Firelord to know anything about you. You would surely be executed, and that would not suit my purposes. I am, however, sure that Prince Zuko would be thrilled to know you're alive."

Ursa went cold. "You leave my son out of this."

"I wish I could, but he seems to keep getting in the way no matter _what _I try to do. The Avatar and his _friends _destroyed a Fire Nation force at the Northern Air Temple and they are going to _pay._" Zhao's jaw tightened. "And I am going to ensure that your _son_ stays out of my way, since he just can't seem to leave well enough alone."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Zhao looked at her in surprise. "Surely you can't be ignorant of the fact that Prince Zuko was banished from the Fire Nation three years ago?" At the stunned expression on her face, he shook his head. "How ironic. You really_ can_ be that ignorant. Allow me to explain, Ursa. Your son is a coward. A weak, desperate coward who is not fit to take his father's place. He dishonored Firelord Ozai and then he was too pathetic to hold his ground and fight like a man. And now he has been getting in my way in my attempts to capture the Avatar."

Ursa still could not find words. Zuko had been _banished_? For three years? Had he been living in the Earth Kingdom? All this time, and if she had only known, she could have gone looking for him. And if he was getting in Zhao's way of capturing the Avatar, did that mean he had realized how wrong their nation was? Had he joined the Earth Kingdom in their war against the Fire Nation?

This last hope was dashed when Zhao explained further. In this instance, she was glad for his lack of restraint—he liked to gloat, and as far as getting information from him, that worked in her favor. "It is a pathetic attempt on his part to regain his honor and standing in the Fire Nation. You see, Ursa, when he was banished, Firelord Ozai never expected to see him again. He gave Zuko an impossible task—find and capture the Avatar, and then he would regain his honor. Of course, no one expected the Avatar to return."

That painted a completely different picture in Ursa's mind. So Zuko had spent three whole years searching for the Avatar to try to gain back Ozai's approval? How had Zuko dishonored Ozai in the first place?

Her heart ached. Three years. Three years of Zuko struggling on a seemingly impossible task to find approval with a man who didn't deserve one bit of Zuko's respect.

"If you ask me, the world would be far better off if Zuko never returned to the Fire Nation," Zhao continued. "Which is why _I _will take care of the Avatar first. You are the perfect way to ensure Zuko's cooperation."

As much as Ursa hated the idea of Zhao using her to ensure Zuko's cooperation, she honestly couldn't say that she wanted Zuko to succeed in capturing the Avatar and return to the Fire Nation. If only she could see him, talk to him, explain about his father. Unless he had become as embittered, angry, and violent as Ozai. "I expect Azula is getting along just fine in the Fire Nation." She didn't expect Zhao to give her information on Azula, but she had to try to find out if her daughter was safe.

"Azula is an icon to her country." It was all Zhao said. Which meant that Azula was probably still living her normal life in the Fire Nation, whatever that consisted of now. "Now, I did not bring you here to have a pleasant chat about your family. You have been working for the Earth Kingdom underground. This means you have potentially valuable information."

"I won't tell you anything."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll do your best to keep your silence, so we'll see what we can do to loosen your tongue a little. I think we have just enough time to question _you _before we reach our destination. We'll deal with questioning our other prisoner later." Zhao nodded at the soldiers next to her.

One of them grabbed her and forced her head back, while the other shoved something past her lips—a small glass bottle of some sort. Her mouth was filled with liquid that tasted sickeningly sweet and far more bitter than the Water Tribe's sea prunes. Though she had never tasted it before, she knew that it had to be the same red spider-fly venom herb concoction that the Earth Kingdom had used. Her mistrust of its accuracy did not stop her from panicking about what she might say under its influence. She gagged, coughed, tried to spit it out, but the soldier had a tight grip on her face and forced her mouth closed until she ended up swallowing it. It burned her throat all the way down, burned in her stomach, and seemed to spread through the rest of her body from there.

It didn't take long before she got fuzzy and lightheaded, her vision blurring into spots and swirls of color. Everything was distant and far away, until nothing was coherent anymore.

Her last understandable thought to herself was, _I can keep my secrets._

:-:-:-:-:

As soon as Ursa was taken out of the room, Hakoda spent a minute lying on his back on the floor, trying to get his shackled hands from behind him to in front of him. He managed it, though the shackles pulled tightly enough against his wrists to cut parts of them. Once his hands were in front of him, he examined his bonds to figure out if he could get them all the way off. He couldn't, but at least he had more movement. He stood and examined all the walls of the holding room and the door. He peered through the slats on the door and saw that there was one guard patrolling the torch-lit corridor.

With no way out—yet—all Hakoda could do was wait, and that was the hardest part. Waiting for Ursa to be returned to the cell—if she would be returned—and wondering what was happening to her. Anger and frustration boiled deep within him that he couldn't do anything to help, that she could just be snatched away and he couldn't keep her safe. How much greater was the risk to her, being that she was a Fire Nation traitor? How much more severe would the Fire Nation be with her?

Hakoda sighed and rubbed his forehead. Fire Nation. It had been shocking to hear it from Ursa, but the more he thought about it, and the more she had explained, the more it really did make sense. It was why she had been so secretive about her past, why she had skirted around questions about her family, why she had sometimes had such great sadness or fear in her eyes.

Words she had spoken to him before all fit together and added up to everything that she had just confessed to him. Things she had said, mentions of her life being nothing but lies, even her reaction to the poster of Jeong Jeong made sense. It wasn't that she couldn't accept anyone from the Fire Nation—it was that she didn't think she could be accepted because she was from the Fire Nation. It was more than pain and loss that she was suffering—it was guilt. He had seen it all over her face when she had been confessing how and why she left her nation.

He tried to imagine what the past years must have been like, keeping such painful secrets, never believing she could ever fully be herself. It made him appreciate even more the people of his tribe. If he and Ursa could get out of this mess, maybe she could get a chance to learn that not everyone was untrustworthy.

The minutes ticked by. Finally, Hakoda heard more noise out in the corridor. He peered out through the slats and saw two soldiers dragging Ursa along with them. She was sagging between them, her head down.

Hakoda stepped back from the door as it opened and Ursa was dumped on the ground. One of the soldiers held out his hand threateningly toward Hakoda and told him not to move. The other soldier unbound Ursa's hands, and then they left, shutting the door behind them once more.

Hakoda was at her side in an instant, rolling her onto her back. Her eyes were half-open, her gaze dazed and unfocused, and she was trembling violently. He noticed that her wrists were more red and bloodied than his own. What had they _done _to her?

"Ursa? Ursa, can you hear me? It's Hakoda." He rested the back of one hand against her cheek and felt how hot her skin was before she jerked away from his touch. She threw out her arm and smacked him in the face with more force than he would have expected. It still wasn't enough to do more than throw his head backward. She lunged forward, crawling past him, though there was nowhere for her to go. She made it only a few feet before her strength gave out and she collapsed.

Hakoda reached for her again. "It's okay," he said quietly. He cautiously touched Ursa's shoulder, feeling it shaking, and she turned her head, struggling to focus on him. "It's me."

Her voice was thick and heavy when she said, "Hakoda?"

At least she wasn't trying to hit him again. "Yes. It's Hakoda."

"Not real." Ursa's eyes fluttered toward him, still glassy and not really aware. "Not Hakoda. Dreaming."

"You're not dreaming. Ursa, can you tell me what happened? What did they do to you?"

She pushed herself forward again and hit her head on the wall. He didn't even know if she could see it. "My secrets. I won't tell. I won't. Burning, everything's burning…"

Her speech was as incoherent as everything else, and he was afraid she was going to hurt herself with all her thrashing around. Half-expecting her to hit him again, he managed to shift them both so she was leaning against him. He hooked his shackled hands over her head and rested them on her middle to keep her stationary. Her shudders ran through her body, making him shake, and he could feel how feverish and sweaty she was.

Hakoda became aware that the boat was coming to a stop, but he had no idea of they were docking or if they were stopping somewhere in the middle of the ocean.

Ursa was talking again, still about keeping her secrets, and he told her, "It's okay, Ursa."

For a brief moment, her head tilted upward and her eyes met his, and he saw such raw agony in them. "Couldn't stop it. I waited too long. I waited too long." Her hand pressed against her left shoulder. "It hurts, it hurts, it hurts…won't let you do it, _don't kill my son!_ No secrets. I'm not telling anything. Your drug is unreliable. You can't make me talk."

Drug…had they given her that red spider-fly venom concoction? If they had, it would probably explain her state, and it would mean there was nothing that he could do until it wore off. He had no idea how long that would take. Ursa had known more about the drug than he had.

Her hand was still holding tightly to her shoulder as she trembled and muttered, and Hakoda was suddenly afraid that they'd done more harm to her than just drugging her. "Ursa. Ursa, can you hear me? I need to know if they hurt you. Did they burn you?"

It was painful to see her in this state, and worse not to know if she was hurt. She didn't answer him; she just squeezed her eyes shut and kept up her nonsensical talking, her fist clenching at her left shoulder. He again heard her mention burning, and it being hot. He heard her say, "They found my tile. The white lotus tile. Fell out of my pocket and rolled on the floor. I need it back. Why did they take it? They take everything. They take everything." Her voice was getting weaker, her eyes now half-shut.

He had to know if she was burned, and if so, how bad it was. He knew she wouldn't he happy about it, knew how mortified she would be of this when she was coherent enough to realize what had happened to her. Even if there wasn't anything he could do to fix it now, if she was burned and her robe was brushing against it, it could make it worse.

"I'm going to look at your shoulder. Okay? Can you hear me? I just need to see if you're hurt."

As soon as Hakoda touched her clothing, her eyes shot open and she fought to get away from him, only to find herself trapped by his bound hands across her stomach. That made her panic more, so he couldn't even lift his arms to free her. It also yanked on his wrists so that the shackles dug more deeply into them.

Keeping his voice calm and quiet, he tried to reassure her, and she slowly stilled, her eyes straining to focus on his face. Her forehead furrowed in confusion. "Hakoda?"

"Yes. It's just me. I'm not going to hurt you. I just need to see if you're burned."

"Burning…" she whispered, her eyes drifting closed again. But she didn't fight when he turned down the neckline of her robes until he could see her shoulder. There was a large burn scar that covered part of her shoulder and chest on her left side, the edge of it continuing underneath her breast bindings. His worry about her being freshly injured vanished. At one time, it had to have been a very bad burn, but it was an old scar. He folded her robes back up, wondering how she had ended up with it.

Ursa was calmer now, but still mumbling and shivering. He wondered if she was trapped in her own head, reliving her traumatic experiences. She had mentioned before that red spider-fly venom—if that was even what they had given her—could cause hallucinations.

That was when the door to the room opened again. Hakoda's hold on Ursa tightened. She was in no state to be touched again, and if they tried to take her—

"It's okay! I'm not here to hurt you!" the Fire Nation soldier hissed. Beyond the open door, Hakoda saw another soldier, slumped in a heap in the corridor.

The soldier who had unlocked the door dragged the unconscious man inside the cell, then shut the door behind him. He lifted up the faceplate of his helmet and Hakoda was looking at a young man. "I'm here to help you, but you have to do everything I say."

"Who are you?" Hakoda demanded. "Why should I believe you?"

"It seems to me you don't really have any better options. My name is Ran." He held something out to Hakoda—a white lotus Pai Sho tile. "This is hers." He nodded at Ursa. "I'm an initiate of the Order of the White Lotus."

Hakoda took the tile. "The what?"

"I don't have time to explain. Listen carefully—the Fire Nation might have spies among the Earth Kingdom, but it works both ways. I'm affiliated with a man named Jeong Jeong."

Hakoda stiffened. "Jeong Jeong I've heard of."

"Jeong Jeong…Fire Nation…like me…" Ursa's voice was so soft that he almost missed her words.

"I have to get you two off of this ship. I can't let Admiral Zhao use Lady Ursa. It could have devastating consequences. Here." He reached for Hakoda and quickly unlocked his shackles. Then he pulled a small glass bottle out and handed it to Hakoda. "That will help counter the effects of the drug they gave her."

Hakoda looked at the bottle suspiciously.

"Look, you can trust me or not, but we don't have a lot of time. They dosed her with a drug made from red spider-fly venom and a mixture of herbs, and she had a particularly bad reaction to it. Most of it will just have to wear off, but that—" Ran nodded at the bottle "—will help clear her head, and if you're going to escape, she needs it."

Hakoda glanced between the bottle and Ursa, and made a quick decision. Getting Ursa to go along with it, however, took a little bit of convincing, but she finally swallowed whatever was in the bottle.

"Good." Ran sighed in relief. "Now, we're docked in the northern Earth Kingdom. There's a small Fire Nation outpost here. Admiral Zhao is off the ship right now, meeting with other military leaders to discuss gathering a fleet. He wants to attack the Northern Water Tribe."

_"What?" _

"He's trying to capture the Avatar, and if he can destroy the Northern Water Tribe, it will make him even happier. I only just found out. I don't have any way to send a message from here. Someone has to warn the Water Tribe. I'll do my best, but if you can get away from here, then that gives both of us a chance to get out a warning. Most of all, you have to take _her _away from here." Ran nodded at Ursa. "There aren't a lot of soldiers on board. I think I can get you off the ship, but the only way to get away from all the ships docked here without being seen is going to be to swim as far as you can until you're out of sight, and then walk into the hills. There are hills all over this area. And it's cold. There's snow on the ground."

Snow was nothing. However, being in the snow after taking a dive under freezing ocean water, having no dry clothes, and having nowhere to go but to head into the hills—that was going to be harder.

Fortunately, Ran was one step ahead of him. "I've got an oil skin bag that will keep the supplies and clothes I put in there dry. That should get you through a day or two, as long as you can get away. After that, you're on your own, friend."

"Hakoda?" Ursa shifted and blinked at him in confusion. "I'm—not dreaming?"

Hakoda was relieved to see that her eyes were much clearer than they had been—still not all the way back to normal, but getting there. "I hope not. Isn't it bad enough looking at me while you're awake?"

Ursa made a strangled sound, maybe a laugh or maybe a cry. "Not dreaming," she agreed. "I couldn't dream…a joke that bad."

"Can you stand up?" Ran asked her, and Ursa focused on his face. "I'm trying to help you escape."

"I…" Ursa blinked again, pressing her hands against her temples and grimacing. "I…think so." Carefully, she struggled to her feet, almost falling over and catching herself on the wall. Her body was still having small tremors, but nothing like it had been.

Hakoda nodded at Ran as he stood. What other choice did they have? If this was their only chance to escape, they had to take it.


	12. Thawing

**A/N: **Thank you again to everyone who reviewed: Sirithdiliel, ArrayePL, Aristeia, JFAPOI, vicious-fluffy-bunny-llama, ayameko2TTe, Obscure Stranger, Kimjuni2, Star, and Sobatra. :)

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**Chapter Twelve - Thawing**

Ursa was struggling to get her body and mind to work together. It was hard—her mind was clearing, but she still felt like she was pushing through a thick fog. The last clear thing she remembered was being forced to take the drug. Everything after that was blurred. She'd been stuck in dreams and delusions. She remembered pain, the sensation of burning. She still felt unbelievably hot. She remembered Hakoda's voice, a calming anchor in the storm of nightmares, but she didn't know what he had said.

Even now, as she stood bracing one hand against the wall and fighting the overwhelming weakness in her body, she was also fighting to keep her awareness. Her mind kept trying to slip back into that haze. The shadows were dragging fingers across her mind, and she shook her head, focusing as hard as she could on what was right in front of her.

She was in the holding cell, with Hakoda, an unconscious solider, and another soldier who was apparently aiding in their escape. He was a young man, probably not much older than Zuko would be, and something about him looked vaguely familiar.

"Did I…talk?" she asked hoarsely. Her words were coming out as sluggish and stilted as her mind and body felt. "Did I…tell Zhao what he wanted to know?" Her entire body was shaking, and standing on her feet was taking its toll on her. She knew that she should be afraid of what she might have said, and angry at her body's weakness, and maybe once she was completely coherent, those emotions would come. Right now, all she felt was worry and frustration. It was as though the drug had thrown a damper over everything, including her emotions.

"You didn't say anything that made sense, Lady Ursa," the young soldier assured. "I wasn't in the room, but I heard that Admiral Zhao got very upset because you were only rambling and repeating the same things over and over again. And you had a worse reaction than usual to the drug. Zhao finally just put you back in here because we were docking and he had a war meeting to attend." The soldier looked at Hakoda. "We must go now. Most of the soldiers normally on board are outside guarding the war meeting or sleeping. There's only one sentry on deck."

Ursa removed her supporting hand from the wall, took a step toward the door, and then fell face-first into the soldier. He caught her and hefted her back to her feet. Hakoda slipped an arm around her and she didn't have the energy to protest. Two more steps and she had to clutch onto the back of his shirt to keep from falling.

Their rescuer motioned them out into the corridor. He picked up a large bag and handed it to Hakoda, who slung it over his shoulder. There was also a length of rope underneath the bag, and the soldier gathered this up and cautiously led the way down the corridor.

"Wait here," the soldier whispered. He clambered up the stairs to the deck. They heard him talking to someone, and then he came back. "Come on. Hurry!'

Ursa and Hakoda followed him up the stairs, and Ursa was hit with a blast of air so cold it sucked her breath from her lungs. Suddenly her body had another reason to shiver.

It was still dark, but the horizon was tinged with the barest light. Dawn was arriving—yet another reason to be so exhausted. She hadn't slept all night.

Then Hakoda was pushing her down so they were bent over, hurrying with their rescuer to the side of the deck. She wasn't sure what the young man had said or done to the single sentry on deck, but she didn't see him anywhere. She could make out several other warships pulled up to the shore, dark shadows against the ocean.

"Hakoda, how exactly are we escaping?" Her speech was coming a little faster, though through chattering teeth, as her head continued to clear. This made it almost worse because she was that much more aware of how her body was still not cooperating.

"We have to swim to land," Hakoda whispered. Then, with worry, "Do you know how to swim?"

"Yes, but—it's cold."

"The water's going to be worse," he murmured, his voice and face grim.

"Hurry!" The soldier helping them had dropped the rope over the side of the ship and was holding the other end.

_No choice_. Ursa pulled away from Hakoda.

"Me first," Hakoda said softly. Before she could say anything, he grasped the rope and climbed over the side of the ship. "Thank you, friend," he whispered to the soldier, and then he slid down to the dark ocean below.

Ursa took the rope and hoped she could keep her grip on it the whole way down. "Thank you," she echoed Hakoda's sentiment.

The soldier smiled at her. "Consider it _my _thank you. You were always very kind to me, Lady Ursa. Now go, please!"

Ursa didn't have time to figure out how she had been kind to him or why his face looked familiar. Keeping hold of the rope and sliding down it while she was so weak and shaky was more difficult than she had expected. It was just good that it was a short distance to the water, or she had no doubts she would have fallen.

The moment the icy ocean touched her feet, her fingers tightened on the rope and she found herself taking deep, heaving breaths. Hakoda was treading water beside the rope. "Let go," he told her, and she felt his hand on her back. "It's best to get it over all at once."

She hesitated only a moment before releasing the rope. The shock of the freezing water was like a thousand needles stinging her skin. She had never imagined that something could be so cold that it burned, but it did, and she wasn't sure how she was going to be able to move at all, let alone swim. The saltwater stung the cuts on her wrists, but it was a dull, distant ache compared to the ice water on the rest of her body.

The rope was pulled back up, and then Hakoda and Ursa were alone. "This way." Hakoda turned—how was he able to _move?_—and started to swim smoothly through the ocean. He turned to see her still treading water. "Ursa, you have to move. Come on."

One stroke at a time, her body growing less pins-and-needles and more numb with each movement, Ursa stayed with Hakoda as he swam away from the boats, following a line along the shore. It was one of the hardest things she had ever physically done. Her robes were heavy and dragging her down, and she was still so weak from the drug in her body. There were several times she sank completely under the ocean, and each time, Hakoda yanked her back up and pulled her forward until she could start to swim again.

With each passing second, Ursa feared she would hear a cry of alarm from one of the boats behind them, that someone would notice they were missing or spot them in the water, but there were no shouts of warning. She didn't know how long passed—it couldn't have been that long, but every moment felt like an age—before they had rounded a curve in the coastline and were out of sight of the ships. Only then did they swim for shore. The sun had peeked over the horizon, but it was a dull light that shone. The sky was an overcast, miserable gray. On land, there were patches of white all over the ground. It was Ursa's first glimpse of the phenomenon she had only ever read about. Snow. Even with the sun hiding behind the clouds, it was glittery and beautiful, and she was too tired and frozen to care.

As soon as there was solid ground underneath her, Ursa collapsed. Her limbs were so frozen that she wasn't even sure if she was shivering anymore. Beside her, Hakoda knelt and opened the bag that the soldier had given them.

"Ursa. Ursa!" Hakoda reached down and shook her, and her eyes snapped open. She hadn't even realized she had closed them. "You can't go to sleep. You have to change into something dry. Here."

There were two outfits in the bag, both Fire Nation civilian clothes, and both designed for men, though one of them was much smaller than the other. Ursa didn't care if it had been designed for a gorilla-bear; she just wanted to be warm. She was thankful that their rescuer had thought to pack gloves and hats.

Getting her sopping clothes off was tricky. She had no feeling in her fingers and it took several tries before she could slide her robes off. She glanced over toward Hakoda to make sure he was facing away. He was, but he was also in the middle of changing and she got a look at his bare backside. As cold as she was, the heat the flooded her cheeks was almost welcome.

As soon as they were dressed, Hakoda threw their old clothes in the water. "They're dead weight. We'd get soaked trying to carry them," he explained. "Come on. We have to move to stay warm—and to try to get as far ahead of the Fire Nation as we can before they notice we're gone. Judging from the look of the shore, I'd say the tide hasn't come in yet. If we walk along the shore until we find a good place to head into the hills, the tide will come in and wash away our tracks." Slinging the bag back over his shoulder, he held out a hand to her.

She looked at his hand for a moment, and then reached back and grasped it. He pulled her forward and put his arm back around her. She stumbled along with him, knowing that she'd probably be on the ground crawling her way forward if she didn't have him to lean on. And for once, she wasn't worried about trying to prove how strong she was. Maybe because she was exhausted, drugged, and freezing. Or maybe Hakoda and his men had taught her more than she realized. He and his men depended on each other all the time and were some of the strongest people she knew.

"Maybe that swim will have helped your fever, at least," Hakoda said as they walked.

"Oh, joy." Ursa was starting to get some feeling back in her limbs, but that was almost worse, because everything hurt. "I think I'd take the fever over the chills right now. Is it this cold in the South Pole?"

Hakoda chuckled. "Much colder. This snow? This is nothing."

"As soon as I'm not so freezing," Ursa said, holding tighter to Hakoda as she stumbled over some rocks on the shore, "I want to touch it and see what it feels like."

"Cold."

"I never would have guessed." Ursa swallowed. "I hope that soldier isn't found out," she murmured. "If Zhao finds out he helped us…I wish I'd had time to get his name. He said I had always been very kind to him, and he looked familiar…"

"Ran. He said his name is Ran."

Ursa's eyes widened and his face suddenly clicked into place in her memories. He had been a child when she had last seen him, only a few years older than Zuko. "General Shun! That was General Shun's son. He…" She paused. "I knew him when he was a child." Like her children, he had been one of those whose parents were very influential. As such, he had been required to attend a lot of boring adult parties and dinners. Ursa had always tried to make the children feel welcome, remembering what it had been like for her when her aunt had dragged her to the same sort of dinners and parties. Ursa had always felt like an adornment, overlooked by all the important adults. "Once, at a dinner party, I made a puppet out of a napkin and moved it around the table whenever no one else was paying attention. Ran was the only one who noticed and then I stopped so he wouldn't get in trouble for laughing."

Hakoda grinned at her. "A napkin puppet. Aren't you adventurous."

"In that crowd, it was very adventurous, thank you." Ursa managed a small smile back at him. Or she thought she was smiling—her mouth was as frozen as everything else so it was hard to tell. "I think its nose was its best feature."

The sun rose higher in the sky, but it was only evident by the slight lightening of the dreary gray clouds.

Finally, Hakoda said, "Here. There are more rocks than snow—if we're careful, we can hide our trail for a while longer, and then in the hills, they'll have a hard time finding it." He glanced at the sky. "Especially if it snows and covers our tracks. It looks like it just might."

They turned off of the shore and headed into the hills. Hakoda was right; after only a little distance away from the ocean, piece of snow began to drift past Ursa's face. She stopped, bringing Hakoda to a halt with her, and stared up at the sky in wonder. The snowflakes were light and fell much more slowly than rain. They also got stuck on her hair and eyelashes, and she quickly blinked to clear them away from her eyes. "It's beautiful."

Hakoda closed his eyes against the snowfall, an expression of contentment crossing his face. "It is," he agreed, and then they were moving again. "The thing about snow," he told her, "is that there are so many different kinds. There's the kind of snow that's just powdery and doesn't stick together. There's the kind that's wet and sticks to itself so you can make a snow fort or a snowman. Sometimes you have a really light snow, and sometimes it's so heavy you can't see two feet in front of you. Each snowfall is unique."

They pressed on, going deeper into the hills, until all of Ursa's concentration was on putting one foot in front of the other. Finally, Hakoda said, "Here."

At first, Ursa didn't see what he was pulling her toward. Then they were right on top of a crevice in one of the hills.

"Wait here. I'm going to make sure it's safe." He let go of her and climbed through the hole in the rock. He was back only a moment later and motioned for her to follow. She stumbled into the shelter of a little cave, empty of any kind of animals, dangerous or otherwise.

Ursa collapsed onto her knees on the ground. It was still cold, but not nearly as freezing as the stinging breeze outside. Weak sunlight filtered in, and Hakoda used it to sit down and sort through the bag that Ran had given to him.

Ursa examined each item as he pulled it out of the bag. There were two thin blankets, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she took one of them and wrapped it around herself. "They don't look like they'd be very warm, but the Fire Nation designed them for efficiency in cold climates," she told Hakoda.

He wrapped the other one around himself and continued to remove things from the bag. There was food, a pouch of water—which both Ursa and Hakoda drank from before setting aside—six torches, a jar of ointment, a compass, and a map.

Ursa took one of the torches and scraped the end of it across the ground. A fire sprang to life on the end, and she set it down, removing her gloves and holding her hands over it. Blessed warmth began to tingle through her fingers. She knew that this was all the fire that they were going to be able to safely get right now—anything larger and they would have to worry about smoke filling the cave, or they would have to worry about smoke giving their position away.

Hakoda moved closer so he could soak in some of the fire's feeble heat and spread out the map on his lap. "Ran did a very good job at packing supplies on such short notice. He even labeled where we were on the map. Hm. I think we're about here now." He pointed at a spot on the map. "If we cut through the hills this way, there's supposed to be a village here." His finger tapped the map. "If we can get there, I can see about finding a way to get a warning to the Northern Water Tribe. We'll have to find out where the Southern Water Tribe fleet is…"

_And find out if Bato and Notu are safe_, she finished silently. _And maybe…maybe if I can find Zuko and tell him what really happened that night, I can protect him from Ozai and stop him from trying to capture the Avatar._

_Or maybe I would make things worse. What if I did find Zuko and he's changed so much that he won't listen to me? What if he hates me? What if I find him and then make things worse?_

Her life and decisions were still a tangled mess full of doubt and questioning. She wasn't even sure she _could _find Zuko if she set out to look for him. Not without getting captured again, or getting him into trouble.

"We should be able to reach the town in two days," Hakoda was saying. "And we'll hope we're not too late."

Ursa nodded, but her eyes were already drifting closed. At least until Hakoda shook her shoulder. "Ursa, I know you're tired. So am I. But you need to make sure you're warm before you try to sleep."

"I'm warmer than I was outside," she mumbled. Once she was sure her fingers were warm, she carefully removed her shoes and held her toes near the torch's fire. Hakoda held his hands over it, and for the first time, she got a look at how cut up and bloodied his wrists were. She reached for the jar of ointment, then opened it and handed it to him. "Fire Nation treatment for burns and cuts," she said. "It smells a lot better than your blubber algae concoction."

"We'll see if it works as well." Hakoda swabbed some of it on his wrists and then gave the jar back to her.

She got some ointment for her own raw wrists and then set the jar back down. "There are some things the Fire Nation does right, you know." She was teasing, but the look Hakoda gave her was serious.

"I know." He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Who burned you?"

She wasn't expecting the question, and she looked at him sharply. "What?"

He pointed toward his own chest, in the same place where she had her burn scar.

She tensed and folded her arms around herself. "How did you know?"

"You don't remember?" Hakoda shifted so he was facing her. "When they threw you back in the cell, you kept holding your shoulder and talking about hurting. I was just trying to make sure you weren't burned."

Ursa swallowed and didn't answer him. Her mortification held her tongue fast and she could do no more than shake her head. It was too much right now. Hakoda had already been crossing further over her defensive threshold than anyone else had in years, but this was a step more than she felt she could handle.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have asked."

She shook her head again, still unable to find her voice, and Hakoda didn't press for a response. Instead, he said, "Here. I have something that belongs to you." He held out a white lotus tile, and her eyes widened. "Ran said he was an initiate in the Order of the White Lotus. I don't suppose you know what that is?" he asked as she took the tile from him.

Her tongue finally unstuck. "No," she said quietly. "I found it on Misaki's floor the night she was captured." She closed her fist around it. "Thank you." She slowly relaxed again and leaned back against the cave wall. "Can I sleep yet?"

Hakoda unwrapped his blanket from around himself, rested against the wall beside her, and draped it over both of them. She tried to protest, but he pointed out, "I'm used to this weather. You're not."

She eyed him for a moment, and then disentangled herself from her own blanket and spread it on top of Hakoda's so they could share both blankets. If anyone had told her a month ago that she would be even remotely comfortable being alone in a cave, shoulder-to-shoulder with any man, she would have told them they were delusional. All of her upbringing on propriety, all of her distrust and her unwillingness to let anyone close to her churned in her stomach, but it was a far cry from what it had been. Besides, she told herself, this was about survival, not about what made her comfortable.

She closed her eyes and soaked in the warmth of the blankets and of Hakoda's arm pressed against hers. Maybe it_ was_ about survival, and maybe her deepest ingrained defensiveness was still resisting, but as she was sucked into the welcome arms of sleep, she couldn't remember the last time she had felt so safe.


	13. Safe Haven

**A/N: **Thank you so much to you lovely reviewers: hplo, Obscure Stranger, Kimjuni2, Caellach Tiger Eye, JFAPOI, Aristeia, I-love-random-internet-stories, things24, star, lord of the ramen, Thyra-TigerLily, and Sobatra.

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**Chapter Thirteen - Safe Haven**

Hakoda awoke to the same dismal hint of light shining through the cave entrance, and to find his hand asleep because Ursa was cutting off his circulation. Somehow she had ended up sprawled across him in her sleep. Her head was flopped on his chest, one of her arms was draped across his stomach, and his hand was pinned underneath her hip.

He debated about trying to move her, but she was warm and at least appeared to be sleeping comfortably, and she needed as much rest as she could get. Finally, he just wiggled his hand out from underneath her and let it rest against his side, opening and closing his fingers to get the blood flowing back into them. Ursa didn't even stir.

He found himself staring down at the side of her face and his stomach tightened. He was all too aware of her curves pressed against him, of her warm breath seeping through his shirt. All too aware that it had been years since the last time he had woken up with a woman this close to him. More than that, he was suddenly all too aware of something else, something that was familiar because he had experienced it before, but which was also very new and different. It had snuck in uninvited and unexpectedly, but it was _there_. It had been growing there for a while, soft and subtle, and he hadn't even seen it until now.

He continued to gaze down at Ursa's sleeping face, feeling the rise and fall of her steady breathing, and he realized that it wasn't so subtle anymore. He let out a long, slow breath as he had a moment of _now what_? Or several moments. He ran a hand over his face. His feelings for Ursa had crossed a line from concern and care to something that made _care _pale in comparison. How had this happened? How _could _it have happened? He had never expected it. Not toward Ursa—not toward anyone—and certainly not after only having known her for such a short amount of time.

But it was there against all odds, staring him dead in the face and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

Nor, he knew, could he pursue it, even if he did finally recognize it. There was too much going on—too much he and Ursa both had to do, and even if he could think about this right now, he knew he couldn't ask it of Ursa. He thought that he might have started to gain some of her trust and that she might even consider him a friend, and that was what she needed.

He was distracted from his thoughts and revelations when his ears picked up the sound of voices in the distance. He strained to hear what was being said, but couldn't make out the words. He suspected it might be a Fire Nation patrol out searching for them, and he didn't relax until the voices faded, and then disappeared entirely. Possibly, some hunters were simply out looking for a meal, but he wasn't going to take any chances.

Ursa had slept through it all, which wasn't surprising, considering the night she'd had. He was glad she was still asleep. It gave him the time he needed to sit quietly and process what he needed to do. He was good at that—he could focus on what _needed _to be done and put that ahead of everything else.

By the time Ursa began to stir, he was calm with himself and with what he was doing, and very grateful for his ability to adapt quickly to situations, however strange and unexpected they might be. He couldn't shove everything he had realized about Ursa back into a neat little box, but his priorities right now were to get Ursa to safety and to find a way to get warning to the Northern Water Tribe that they were going to be attacked. Everything else would come one moment at a time.

Ursa's eyes blinked open slowly. It seemed to take her a moment to figure out where she was, but as soon as she noticed that she was lying across Hakoda, she jerked upright. Even in the dim light, he could see that her cheeks were red. "Hakoda, I—" She smoothed out her robes. "I apologize."

"There you go apologizing for things that don't need it." Hakoda stood up and stretched his arms out in front of him. "You were tired. You slept. Well, I hope."

She nodded slowly. "Very well, thank you." She sounded very formal, but he was beginning to notice that she had a tendency to do that when something made her nervous or uncomfortable. It was probably a fallback habit due to her noble upbringing.

"I want to wait a bit longer before we head out. I heard people talking a little while ago. I don't know if it was the Fire Nation, but if it was, I want to be as sure as I can that they're not in this area anymore." Hakoda grabbed the bag of supplies. "We should get something to eat before we leave, anyway."

When they did finally leave their shelter, they moved cautiously, but they didn't run into anyone. The snow was still falling lightly, continuing to cover their tracks as they headed through the hills.

It was already mid-afternoon when they set out, so they traveled into the middle of the night, and then again found shelter for the night. They set out early the next morning. Hakoda had estimated it would take two days to reach the nearest village, but since they'd spent most of their first day on the run sleeping, he was figuring they would have one more full day of traveling, probably another night in the hills, and hopefully arrive at the town the next morning.

Ursa plunged forward with sheer tenacity. Hakoda, far more accustomed not only to the cold climate, but to strenuous physical activity, had no trouble making his way through the snowy hills. He called breaks whenever Ursa started visibly struggling, because she was too stubborn to tell him if she needed to stop.

"You don't have anything to prove to me, Ursa," he told her after he practically had to sit on her to get her to rest for a few minutes.

She stared at him and her only response was, "I have everything to prove."

On what he hoped would be the last night out in the wilderness, they found shelter in a rocky tunnel. Hakoda couldn't tell how far the tunnel went. For all he knew, it went out somewhere else, or maybe it just went really far into the hill and something lived deep within. He had gone into it for quite a while with a torch, and hadn't come across the end of the tunnel or any ferocious beasts, so they decided to take their chances.

Ursa dragged the blankets from their bag and wrapped herself in hers before lying down on the hard ground. Hakoda took his blanket and lay close enough to Ursa to reach her quickly should some creature make an appearance. He set their second to last torch between them, then propped himself on his side and held his hands out to the warmth. Ursa did the same thing, sighing gratefully as she flexed her fingers.

"Ursa."

She looked at him over the torchlight, her eyebrows rising slightly.

"Can I ask you something personal?"

It was a moment before she spoke, and her voice was cautious when she did. "Yes."

"What happened to your husband?" Hakoda had been wondering if maybe her husband had died in the war, and that would be why he hadn't been there to protect Ursa or their son.

Ursa rolled onto her back, one hand resting on the ground toward the fire. She was quiet for so long that he suspected she wouldn't answer, but at last, speaking in that tone of practiced neutrality, replied, "He isn't my husband anymore. He disowned me."

Hakoda couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice when he asked, "Why would he disown you?"

"Because he had already taken everything he wanted from me. Because—" Her voice caught, the neutral tone slipping. Ursa paused to regain her composure, and once in control, continued, "He knew about the threat to our son. But he..." She trailed off, but Hakoda had a guess.

"He was willing to let your son die?"

Ursa didn't respond to that, but her eyes squeezed shut, and Hakoda presumed he had hit the nail on the head. He didn't know what to say to that. He couldn't imagine how _anyone _could stand by and allow harm to come to their family. To their own child.

"Hakoda." Ursa opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him. "There are some things I can't tell you, because if I do, my children could still be in danger." She looked at him with intensity. "You promised me before that you would never lie to me. I didn't deserve that. I _don't _deserve it and I know that. My life has been full of so many lies and half-truths."

"I hope you know," Hakoda said quietly, "that you can tell me anything without fear that I would betray you or your trust."

"There are some things," she finally said, "that are unforgivable. Hakoda…" She hesitated. "I can't promise you anything. I can't. I told you I made a bargain to protect my son. Part of that bargain was keeping my silence about it. I'm already worried…" She bit her lip. "No, I'm terrified," she admitted softly. "I'm terrified that word will get back to the Fire Nation that I've been working for the Earth Kingdom. I don't know what ramifications that will have on my family. I knew there would be risks. I always knew, but if he suspects for even one moment that I've broken our bargain…"

"You mean the man who threatened your son."

"Yes. I can't…there's still too much. Living among the nobility of the Fire Nation—it's not like in the Water Tribe where family seems to be most important. Some people are willing to sacrifice anything to gain position and power."

"And your husband was one of those people?"

Ursa's silence again spoke for her. "I did what I had to do to protect my children. And my husband disowned me because my bargain made me dangerous to him."

"Dangerous to his position and power?" Hakoda guessed. He thought of his children, of everything he had been through with them…watching them grow and learn, teaching them right from wrong. He thought of their strength and bravery, their tears and pain, their laughter and smiles, his pride in every step they had taken and every good choice they had made, and even the mistakes they had learned from. He thought of Kya and everything he had shared with her, of how he would have given his life to save hers, and he tried to fathom any husband, any father, being willing and capable of what Ursa was saying. It was completely unimaginable to him.

"How could you love someone who would sacrifice his child for that?" she whispered. "For _anything_?"

_You couldn't, _Hakoda thought. Faced with that, it was no wonder Ursa didn't trust. No wonder she claimed everyone lied. How could she trust anyone or believe any promises if the man who should have protected her, who should have loved her and shown her the meaning of trust and promises, had only ripped her life apart?

"I was happy with him once." Ursa blinked rapidly. Her eyes fixed on the rocky ceiling. "It was an arranged marriage. It was a good political match. My aunt made certain of that. When she went after something, wild boarcupines couldn't stop her. I…I came to love my husband. I did. But he changed, as years went on, and we grew distant. He had always been—" She shook her head. "Selfish. He was much better at taking than giving."

Silence fell in the tunnel for several minutes. Hakoda wanted to tell her that he was sorry, but knew it would sound trite and that she would take it as pity for her, so he kept quiet. He wished he could express the deep anger that he had for her sake, an anger that was growing with every word he heard about her former husband. Her pain and scars ran far deeper than he could have ever guessed.

He was also beginning to understand more than ever that words would mean nothing to her without actions to prove them. As Bato had said, trust was earned, and Ursa's ability to trust had been severely crippled.

Ursa's eyes closed, and he thought she had drifted off to sleep until she spoke again, her voice bitter. "Of course, there were some things he was very good at giving, especially at the end. Lies, and manipulation, and pain." There was another pause. "You asked who burned me, Hakoda? It was him." Then she rolled over onto her side, away from Hakoda, leaving him staring at her back in stunned horror and a deep, simmering fury toward the man who had done so much harm to her.

She had suffered so much pain—both physical and emotional. Years in the Earth Kingdom had undoubtedly helped her, but she lived with constant fear for her children. He had been apart from Sokka and Katara for two years and the separation was painful everyday. She had been separated from her children for much longer.

He thought over the past weeks that she had spent with the Water Tribe, and how much she had dropped her guard around them. Maybe traveling with the men of the Water Tribe had been one of the best things that could have happened to her. Maybe she had been able to at least see a little bit of truth and true care.

He extinguished the torch so they could save what was left of it and folded one arm behind his head, his face turned toward Ursa. Maybe she could come to see that not everyone would hurt her. Maybe she was already starting to see it.

She had been wrong. She didn't have everything to prove. She needed people to start proving themselves to her.

:-:-:-:-:

They reached their destination near midday the next morning. The village was nestled between several hills, and Hakoda and Ursa looked at it in the distance. It wasn't a huge town, but it wasn't the smallest place Hakoda had been to, either. There were a few townsfolk out and about, and he didn't see any sign of Fire Nation soldiers, but that didn't mean they weren't hiding somewhere, lying in wait to see if Hakoda and Ursa showed up. There wasn't much they could do but proceed carefully.

"Wait." Ursa stepped behind Hakoda and he felt tugging on his shoulder as she opened the bag on his back. She held out a blanket to Hakoda. "We should wrap these around ourselves. We're wearing Fire Nation clothes. I'd hate to go into town and have the villagers attack before they ask questions."

He nodded approvingly. "I was just about to suggest that."

They folded the blankets around themselves like cloaks, and then struck out for the village. The townspeople on the street stopped and stared at them as they entered. A bearded, burly man stepped up to them and crossed his arms, halting them in their path. His voice, however, was not unkind when he asked, "What are you folks doing out in the middle of nowhere?"

"That is a very long story," Hakoda replied. "Involving capture and escape from the Fire Nation."

The man's eyes widened. "So you're the ones they were looking for! A Fire Nation patrol came through here late last night looking for escaped prisoners—a man and a woman, they said. Glad to see you weren't caught again." He held out his hand. "I'm Ji."

Hakoda grasped his arm. "Hakoda, from the Southern Water Tribe. This is Ursa."

"Southern Water Tribe! You don't say. That explains why you look so foreign."

"I don't suppose there's somewhere in town where we can get some clothes and food? We ran out of our rations last night, and our clothes aren't exactly best for traveling." Hakoda opened the fold in his blanket so the man could see his red clothing underneath. "I'm not really used to wearing this color."

"Of course. You should get out of sight, just in case the Fire Nation comes back through town. Come with me. My wife's got a pot of stew on for lunch." Ji waved at them and led them down the road, past the curious eyes of other villagers. He turned several corners and brought them to a small cottage.

Inside, the smell of food cooking permeated the air, and Hakoda could hear the sounds of children's voices. The cottage looked like any of the few homes that Hakoda had seen in the Earth Kingdom—comfortable and practical.

"Kyung! We have guests!" Ji called as he brought Hakoda and Ursa into a room with a large wooden table and a fireplace. A fire was cheerfully crackling underneath a large pot of stew.

Ji's wife, a tall, thin woman, turned from stirring the pot and eyed them cautiously. Her eyes and expression grew sympathetic as Ji explained who they were, and then she bustled around Ursa like a mother lizard-hen. "Let me just get this stew off the fire and we'll see about getting you clean," Kyung said. "And you're about my height; I'm sure I have some clothes that will fit you." She turned and called, "Children! It's time to eat! Come wash your hands!"

Three small children, a boy and two girls, came running in from the other room, but their chatter and laughter stopped when they saw Ursa and Hakoda.

"It's all right," Ji assured them. "These are friends."

The eldest, a boy of about eight, looked at Hakoda with stark fear in his eyes. "But he's…he's wearing red," the boy pointed at Hakoda, who glanced down to see that some of his red clothing was showing through a fold in the blanket.

Hakoda dropped down to a crouch, putting himself level with the boy. "That's because the Fire Nation captured us," he explained.

The little boy still looked afraid, but some skepticism crept onto his face. "And gave you clothes?"

"In a manner of speaking," Hakoda said. "Someone helped us get away, and gave us these clothes."

"Hwan, no more questions," Ji told his son. "They are our guests." He introduced Hakoda and Ursa to the children as Kyung set bowls of stew on the table for the kids, admonished them that it was very hot, and then dragged Ursa off to get clean and changed.

"We'll wait until the women have finished their fussing and then I'll see about getting you some clean clothes," Ji said as he handed Hakoda a bowl of stew and motioned him to sit at the table.

"Thank you." Hakoda sat next to the smallest of the children. She couldn't have been any older than three, and she stared at him with big green eyes. He smiled at her, and after a moment, she smiled shyly back.

It didn't take long for the children's wariness to wear off. By the time Kyung brought Ursa back out, cleaned and dressed in a simple green robe, all of them were chattering and asking Hakoda as many questions as they could fit in between bites of their food.

As soon as Hakoda finished eating, it was his turn to get cleaned and changed. He used some cold water from a bucket to wash up, and then dressed in the clothes Ji had provided. They were a little too wide in the shoulders and waist, but they would work just fine, and Hakoda was grateful to this family for their hospitality and generosity.

When he rejoined the family and Ursa, he found that she was the one now being subjected to the children's interest and questions. Hakoda stood in the doorway and watched the way Ursa's eyes were alight, a smile on her face, as she chatted with them. She looked completely at ease with them. It was part of the magic of children, he thought, that they could disarm adults so easily.

As Ursa ate and talked with the children and their mother, Hakoda took out his map and had a quiet conversation with Ji, asking him if there was anywhere in the village where they could get transportation elsewhere.

"You pretty much ended up in the middle of nowhere," Ji said apologetically. "Old man Suk has some ostrich horses, and his son takes correspondence to and from here to this village on the coast—" he tapped the map "—if someone needs a message sent. This coastal village here is where we go for supplies. It's not far on foot, only a day or so, if you know the right path through the hills. There's a shortcut that goes through here." He pointed at a section on the map that looked to be thick with hills. "If you miss that path, you'll spend three or four days circling round hills to reach it. I can draw you a more detailed map. If you can get to this town—" he again pointed at the coastal village "—you'll be able to find someone with a boat or other transport to get you wherever you need to go."

"Thank you. We should probably get going as soon as we can. We have urgent business, and I would hate to still be here if a Fire Nation patrol comes back through."

Kyung insisted on packing supplies for them, and hurried around the kitchen, gathering things up and stuffing them into Hakoda and Ursa's bag. Hakoda sat at the table with Ursa when he realized his protests that Ji and Kyung had already done too much were falling on deaf ears.

The children had finished eating, but they all still hovered, finding Ursa and Hakoda far more interesting than whatever games they had been playing. The youngest girl crept up to Hakoda and gave him another smile, this one much less shy than before.

"I like your hair," she said in a high, tiny voice. She pointed at the two sections of hair that dangled at the side of his face, tied off with blue bands. "It's pretty."

"Yong!" her brother exclaimed. "You're not supposed to tell a _man _that his hair is pretty!"

Hakoda's laughed. "That's all right. My daughter told me the same thing when she was very small." He leaned toward the tiny girl and whispered, "But I think your hair is much prettier."

She grinned at him, and before he could so much as blink, she had scrambled onto his lap and was examining his hair more closely. "Blue," she said, and then glanced at her sister. "It's blue, right, Ryn?"

"Right." The middle child looked at Hakoda and explained, "She's still learning her colors."

Hakoda sat still as little Yong tugged on his hair and fingered the blue bands tying the thick strands of hair at the side of his face. It brought back so many memories of Katara doing the same thing when she was young, sitting on his lap or jumping off of him, of her holding up her arms and begging Hakoda to spin her around or to throw her into the air and make her fly. For a moment, his throat was so tight that he had a hard time swallowing.

He reached for one of his tied off strands of hair and slipped the blue band off. Yong stilled on his lap as he reached for her hair, separating a strand on either side of her face and using his band to tie them together at the back of her head. She reached back and felt it, and her face lit up as if he had just given her a tremendous gift.

"Daddy, Daddy, look what the nice man gave me!" she shouted. "It's _blue!_ Does it look pretty, Daddy?"

Hakoda looked across the table at Ursa. She was watching him with a strange expression, and as soon as she met his eyes, she smiled. It was a smile that was genuine and as close to happy as he had ever seen on her face.

They left the house to the goodbyes and well-wishes of the family, carrying a bag full of new supplies and a sketched map of the shortcut to their next destination. Ursa and Hakoda headed through the town to more inquisitive looks from the locals, but they weren't hindered as they passed through. They were silent until they had reached the hill on the other side and began their trek toward the shortcut. It was uphill and rocky, and they picked their way carefully over fallen stones.

Ursa finally broke the quiet. "You know…seeing a family like that reminds me that I'm not just fighting to end pain in this war. I'm fighting to keep the good that's already here." As Hakoda reached back a hand to help her over a large rock, she took it without hesitation. "Sometimes it's easier to see the pain than the happiness," she said. "It's good to remember that not all families have been torn apart by this war."


	14. The Icebergs of Life

**A/N: **Thank you so much to hplo, kimjuni2, Thyra-TigerLily, Alabaster86, ayameko2TTe, Aristeia, Obscure Stranger, Star, Sobatra, Vanilla-Bean, Natsuki, TearOfMist, Caellach Tiger Eye, and Lance Murdock for reviewing! :)

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen - The Icebergs of Life**

Ursa and Hakoda had no trouble reaching the large coastal town on the map that Ji had drawn for them, but once they arrived, they had to find either someone to take a message to the Northern Water Tribe, or someone to take _them_ to the Northern Water Tribe. No one was willing to go that far north in their fishing boats, particularly with the possibility that they would run into a fleet of Fire Nation ships. They did provide Ursa and Hakoda with additional supplies to restock their bag, which was very generous of them.

In the end, the best they could do was find a fisherman willing to take them south through the inlet that cut through that area of land. It was the wrong direction, but it would take them to the nearest Earth Kingdom army base. The location of the base wasn't one that Hakoda recognized, but the fisherman said he knew where it was and could take them pretty close to it. Their hope was that the army base could get a warning to the Northern Water Tribe.

It was supposed to be a quick journey, two days at the most, but it didn't go according to plan. A huge storm whipped up during their first day of travel. It was the first time Ursa had ever been on a small fishing boat during a storm, and they weren't close enough to shore to land, so they had to wait it out and hope that the boat wouldn't capsize. It was a terrifying experience, and there were a few times when the thunder was crashing overhead and the lightning was flashing over the sky that Ursa wondered if they were going to make it through the storm.

They all came out of it alive, but the boat was a disaster. It almost didn't make it to shore, and there was no way the fisherman could take them anywhere else. After doing what they could to help him, Ursa and Hakoda set off on foot toward the army base.

When they finally reached the location where it was supposed to be, they found nothing. No people, no buildings. "Maybe they moved," Ursa suggested, looking around the empty stretch of land. For earthbenders, it would be nothing to take down structures and build them somewhere else.

Hakoda pulled out the map that Ran had packed for them and pointed at an area. "There's another army base here. That's the closest one I know of, if it hasn't moved." He rubbed his chin and sighed. "But it's a week's worth of traveling on foot. By then, I know we'll be too late to warn anyone. If we're not already too late." He tucked the map away and straightened, turning away from Ursa, his shoulders tense and his hands clenched into fists.

She understood his fear. As far as he knew, his children were at the North Pole, and if the Fire Nation attacked, they could be killed and the entire tribe wiped out, until all that remained was the Southern Tribe. It was beyond frustrating to have the knowledge of the danger, and to not be able to get it to the right place.

Ursa hesitated, and then reached out and touched his shoulder. He looked at her and nodded resolutely. "All we can do is keep moving," he said. "And hope."

So they pressed on. After a day, they reached a road, which made traveling more expedient. The next couple of days passed without any further hindrances. Ursa didn't find it strange traveling with Hakoda. It had its strange moments, certainly, but she had become so comfortable around him that even her moments of panic were less—those moments when she wondered what she was doing and how she could have let her guard down as much as she had with Hakoda. That week gave her some time to process her disbelief that nothing she had told him had deterred him from remaining with her.

It also gave her the chance to see expansions of the kindnesses she had already witnessed from Hakoda. Their brief day at Ji and Kyung's house had been the first time she had seen Hakoda interact with children. As she had watched him with little Yong on his lap, she had been struck with his joy and gentleness in his actions with her and she suspected she might have had the briefest glimpse of the father that Hakoda was.

The small thoughtfulness with Yong was not the last that she saw from Hakoda. Along their travels, there were other little things that he did for strangers. Despite the urgency of their situation, one time he stopped on the road to help a woman take care of a broken wagon wheel. The woman had then offered them a ride, which more than made up for any time lost repairing it, but Ursa knew that Hakoda would have helped even if they had received no assistance in return.

There were other instances like that, and it gave Ursa much upon which to reflect. She tried to imagine Ozai playing with a stranger's child. She tried to imagine an admiral like Zhao stopping to help someone with a broken wagon wheel. She tried to imagine various leaders in the Fire Nation doing anything like these gestures, and it seemed ridiculous.

Ozai would have considered such things weak. He had hardly spared a second glance at his own son, and even when Azula was young, he never would have done something like hold her and fix her hair.

Not that there was any way to compare _any_ man to another, nor would it be fair to do so, but Ursa couldn't help but wonder what the world would be like if there were more leaders who showed the genuine humility and generosity that Hakoda had.

Hakoda didn't ask her any more questions about her former husband, but as they traveled, he did ask her other things about herself and her life in the Fire Nation. She was always careful never to mention Zuko and Azula by name, but she found herself exchanging stories with Hakoda about their respective children.

"There was one time," Hakoda told her, "when Sokka was ten, and he got a fishhook stuck in his thumb and tried to get it out by himself."

Ursa winced in sympathy. "Tried?"

"With another fishhook," Hakoda explained. "He ended up with two in his thumb. Getting them out wasn't a very pleasant experience."

"My children—" Ursa paused only for a moment before continuing "—are both firebenders."

Hakoda didn't look surprised or disturbed, and Ursa wondered if she would ever stop expecting something she said to get him to the point where he decided it was just too much.

"When my son was about seven, he had a nightmare and set his bed on fire in his sleep. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I'm still not sure how he came out of it without burns." It had also been yet another thing that Ozai saw as proof that Zuko didn't have talent and control in his bending.

"Raising a bender is an interesting experience, isn't it?" Hakoda mused. "Katara couldn't do much, but when she got mad or upset, she would bend without knowing how. When she was four, she knocked out a whole wall of our igloo. There were times I worried she would accidentally hurt herself or someone else. I can't imagine what it would have been like if Sokka had been born a bender, too."

"Twice the chaos, and a lot of sibling competition," Ursa said immediately. "At least, that's how it was with mine."

"Do you miss it?" Ursa looked over at him, and he clarified, "Not your children—I know you miss them. Do you miss being in the Fire Nation?"

Ursa considered for a minute before answering. "There are things I miss. I know that a lot of terrible things have come out of the Fire Nation, but there are so many parts of the country that are beautiful. Waterfalls and lakes, and rock structures formed from hardened lava. I always loved seeing the fields of fire lilies. Beautiful red flowers as far as the eye can see. I miss my garden. It was one of the only places in my home where I always felt peaceful. I had a garden at my inn in Huang, too, and that helped a little, even though I couldn't have all of the same plants. I miss the year-round warmth sometimes." She gave him a small smile, but it quickly faded. There was more longing in her voice than she had expected, and she could feel Hakoda's eyes on her. "I do _not_ miss my position and the crowd of nobles. Despite the circumstances that brought me to it, the life I've lived in the Earth Kingdom suits me far more than the one I lived in the Fire Nation."

"You were raised by your aunt, weren't you? What happened to your parents?"

Ursa was even more hesitant about answering this question, but as she thought about it, she realized it wasn't because she mistrusted Hakoda. It was just something that had been ingrained in her so deeply not to tell, and also something that she wasn't very sure of herself. "I think that story is more complicated than I know," she finally said. She walked in silence, organizing her thoughts into words, before slowly saying, "They died when I was four. I don't remember much about them. I know we lived out in the country. My parents weren't part of the noble court. We didn't go to parties or spend time with rich people. We had a farm. I remember following my father around while he tended the animals. He was a kind man—very gentle. The strongest thing I remember is happiness. My parents were very happy, and so was I. I have a very vague memory of my mother singing and dancing with me around a table. Her hands were wet and soapy—I think she was doing dishes…"

Ursa took a deep breath and slowly let it out. These were memories she had not spoken of in many, many years. They didn't hurt to think about, because they were so distant, almost like they belonged to someone else. It seemed like a different lifetime. She only wished she could remember more of that life, so disconnected from the one she had known among the nobles.

Hakoda was still quiet, watching her and waiting to see if she would speak further.

"Then one day my father came in…he was very upset about something. I don't know what, but it made my mother upset, too. I remember being sent down the road for the day to stay with an older woman who had a farm nearby. It was all such a blur, and I think the only reason I remember that day at all was because I never went back to my parents' house."

Hakoda's gaze softened in sympathy. "They died?"

"They were killed, yes. I was told it was bandits. My mother's sister came to get me and took me away to the city. She didn't like my father very much. I heard her say once that my mother had been a fool to marry him. She didn't ever want me to talk about my father or ask questions about his family, but I remembered enough. There were only two people who I ever told about my father's family, and I sometimes wonder if I should have kept my silence as my aunt always told me to."

Hakoda frowned. "Was there something about your father's family that was considered disgraceful?"

Ursa gave a short, humorless laugh. "Dangerous. Disgraceful, yes, probably, but I think it was the ideals that my father's family held so dearly that cost them their lives. I don't know for sure. I don't know if I'll ever have proof, but I think…I think that my father was hiding. I remember, the day he died, he told my mother that someone had found him. It was years before I remembered that, and years more before I puzzled out what it might mean."

Ursa bit her lip and glanced sideways at Hakoda. He still looked puzzled, and she knew she wasn't making sense at all. _Does it really matter if I tell him? He already knows almost everything else, anyway. _

"My father's father," she said quietly, "stood for everything the Fire Nation turned its back on: unity with the other nations, peace, and balance. My father spoke of it, but I only remember a little of what he taught me. He mentioned betrayal, I think from the Fire Nation, but I don't recall exactly what he said. I can't tell you how much I regret not finding out the truth from my aunt. Instead, I let her push aside the questions. I let her push _me _wherever she wanted me to go. I grew up to be the perfect young noblewoman, so I could be the perfect wife in the _perfect _match—" Her voice caught and her breathing was ragged. She stopped walking and Hakoda halted with her. Facing him, she said, "My grandfather was Avatar Roku."

Hakoda stared at her, and she saw the surprise in his eyes. "Avatar Roku."

She nodded. "The Fire Nation has been so bent on destroying the Avatar for so long, always keeping a wary eye out in case the Avatar reappeared. You can understand why that might have made it dangerous to any of the surviving children of the past Avatar."

"Yes," Hakoda said slowly. "Yes, I can."

"And I made a mess of it. That legacy. Everything I think my parents would have wanted me to learn. Everything they tried to teach me, everything that I forgot—" She had never spoken of _this _before. Her heritage, yes, but she hadn't even realized the shame that lay deep down—the shame that she had ruined the legacy of her family along with everything else.

Was her past just one giant mess of shame? Was there _nothing _she could be proud of in her life in the Fire Nation? Her children were perhaps the only worthwhile part of anything she had been or done there.

"Ursa." Hakoda rested a hand on her shoulder. "You were four."

"I know."

"You can't blame yourself for the way you were raised and the things you forgot. Sometimes circumstances are taken far beyond our control." Hakoda waved at the road they were traveling. "Did you ever think we would be here? I certainly didn't. But sometimes the unexpected can turn out to be the best thing that could happen to our lives."

"And sometimes it can be the worst," Ursa pointed out. She started walking again, and Hakoda fell into step beside her.

"Yes," Hakoda agreed, "but if we only ever look for the bad, we'll miss the good when it happens."

Ursa raised her eyebrows. "Tell me, Hakoda, what's the good in this situation? We were captured, nearly froze to death, forced off the boat we were traveling on, and we can only hope that the next army outpost is still there. We don't know what happened to your fleet and the Northern Water Tribe is about to be attacked, if they haven't been already."

Hakoda's eyes were dark—she knew these things were weighing on him, too—but his voice was clear when he spoke. "We may have been captured, but we escaped. We _didn't _freeze to death and we've met some great people along the way. You're right: we don't know what's happened to the Southern fleet or what's happening at the North Pole, but I know how resourceful the Water Tribe is."

"You are," Ursa told him, "the most perplexing man I have ever met."

"Only perplexing? Not dashing or intriguing, or maybe charming?" Hakoda grinned.

Ursa laughed and shook her head. When she glanced over at Hakoda, the expression on his face as he looked back at her made her breath catch in her throat. Her heart suddenly seemed too fast and too loud, and she tore her eyes away from his. She had a sense that her world had just dropped out from under her, and she shook her head again, trying to clear it.

Deep down, though, that little voice that offered hope and had begun to trust again told her that this wasn't something she could just clear away.

When Hakoda spoke a minute later, his voice was serious. "If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the more you focus on everything you did wrong or everything you could have done differently, the more you destroy what you could have _now_. When Kya died, I fell into that trap for a little while. I was stuck in what had already happened. I thought if I could have been there, if I had only done something differently, maybe she would still be here. But life is like riding an ocean wave. You can't control where it goes, and sometimes all you can do is steer your boat as best you can. And maybe sometimes you'll crash into an iceberg. Then you just have to pick up all the pieces you can, find a way home, and build another boat."

"And what if you don't have the materials for another boat?" Ursa shot back. "What if you can't find your way home? Or what if you _deliberately _crashed into the iceberg, and you know now that you deserve to be stuck out in the middle of nowhere?"

"Then you admit you did something wrong and see what you can learn from it."

"You make it sound so easy."

"You make it more difficult than it has to be," he returned.

Indignation flared inside of Ursa. Her voice was neutral when she said, "It _is _difficult."

Hakoda caught her elbow and brought her to a stop. "You're angry."

"I'm not angry." She was still speaking with perfect calm and control, but she wasn't looking at him.

"Ursa, I'm not trying to belittle anything you've been through."

She turned her eyes back on him. "Then what are you saying, Hakoda?"

"I'm saying that _today _is today. There are going to be things that you're worried about. There are going to be people that you fear for and you're going to wonder what the future holds for them. You just can't let your past keep you from _living_."

His words hit her hard. She pulled her elbow out of his grasp and turned her back on him. "I'm supposed to just forgive everything I've done? I'm supposed to ignore the fact that I _left _my children with a monster? I'm supposed to ignore the things I had to do to protect them? I watched my daughter set a gift from her uncle on _fire _just before I left the Fire Nation, and I _knew _there was something wrong with where her life was going. I knew I was going to need to help her, and I haven't _been there _to do it. I'm a terrible, terrible mother, Hakoda." Did he really think she _wanted_ this guilt?

_Maybe I do, _that small voice deep down whispered. _Maybe I hold onto it because I know I deserve it. Maybe I punish myself because it's the only thing I can do to atone for my wrongs. _

She clenched her hands into fists. "I don't know how to let go." She wasn't sure if she was talking to Hakoda or herself. "I don't know how to forgive myself, and I've been wandering for so long that I don't know if I have any idea what home _is, _let alone how to get back to it."

Hakoda's hand was on her shoulder again, and part of her wanted to just push it away, but she didn't. "That's when you have people you trust to help you find your way. Those are the people who will come find you even if you steal_ their_ boat and deliberately ram it into an iceberg."

Ursa turned back to face him and searched his eyes. "I had lost faith that those kinds of people existed."

"'Had,'" he echoed meaningfully.

Ursa just gave him a long, baffled look, not sure she could properly come up with a response to that. She felt as though some invisible boundary that she hadn't even known was there had just been shattered.

It was strange that she hadn't even seen just how many walls she had until Hakoda started pulling them down.

:-:-:-:-:

The moon was high in the sky and shining brightly on them when Ursa took first watch that night. There were plenty of travelers along this road that camped out and had fires, and they started their own small fire. Hakoda and Ursa were still cautious of possible patrols, which was why they were taking turns keeping watch, but she was grateful that they could have the warmth of a fire without worrying over the Fire Nation being everywhere.

Hakoda fell asleep as quickly as he always did, and she studied him in the firelight—the care lines in his face, the shape of his shoulders, the Water Tribe adornments he wore around his neck resting on top of the green shirt he wore. Her eyes moved over his chest and the memory of seeing him naked flashed through her mind. She flushed and quickly jerked her eyes away from him. He suddenly seemed too close, even though he was a good few feet away.

She squeezed her eyes shut and took a steadying breath. She was tired. The past weeks had been draining in every possible way, and she was just exhausted.

_Have I been lying for so long that I'm going to lie to myself, too? _

She grimaced and opened her eyes. And froze. There was something horribly wrong. The world was all…red. She turned her face up toward the sky and went cold. The soft light of the moon had turned completely red. She had never seen anything like it, and she blinked several times, wondering if she might be dreaming. She pinched herself. No, it was very real.

"Hakoda." Ursa reached out to shake him, but his eyes opened before she had put a finger on him. He sat up in one smooth motion. She didn't have to tell him what was wrong; he looked around quickly and then his gaze, too, went up to the blood red moon.

Hakoda rose to his feet, but Ursa remained on her knees, both of them staring up at it.

"I think something happened at the North Pole," Hakoda said.

"What could darken the moon like that?"

"I don't know. Unless—but I don't know how that would be possible."

"What?"

Hakoda shook his head. "Unless something happened to the moon spirit."

At that moment, the moon brightened back into its normal glow. It lasted only several heartbeats, and then it went completely dark. Not red, not _anything. _Just dark. The world untouched by the campfire was shadowed and colorless.

Ursa wasn't sure how much time passed before the moon again appeared in the sky. She and Hakoda waited, half-expecting it to vanish again, but the minutes ticked by and it remained the same.

Ursa slowly let out a breath, wondering what might be happening that could make the moon disappear.

Hakoda sat back down beside her, but his eyes were still turned upward. "You should get some sleep. I think I'll be awake for a while."

:-:-:-:-:

Nine days after leaving Ji and Kyung's house, Ursa and Hakoda reached the army base, and Ursa was relieved to see there were at least several buildings and a watchtower.

They were greeted by rocks coming up out of the ground, encasing them up to their necks in stone. Ursa's eyes landed on an earthbender who approached from the watchtower.

"Who are you and what's your business here?" The earthbender looked between them suspiciously.

"I'm Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe. I need to speak with whoever's in charge. I have an urgent message."

"Chief Hakoda!" the earthbender exclaimed. "Then you must be Ursa! We had heard you escaped, but no one knew what had happened to you after that." The rocks enclosing them melted back into the earth.

Ursa stumbled at the sudden release and caught herself before she fell. She wondered how the army would know that she and Hakoda had escaped. She would have been less surprised if the earthbender had said he knew they had been _captured_.

"Please come with me. General Xu will want to see you." The earthbender motioned at them, and they followed him deeper into the base. Ursa kept a wary eye out on any soldiers they passed. After everything she had been through, she wasn't going to be caught unawares by another firebender spy.

In short order, she and Hakoda were being introduced to General Xu, and Hakoda wasted no time in explaining the urgency of their situation. "General Xu, I have an urgent message concerning the Northern Water Tribe."

"If your message is that the Fire Nation was going to besiege the North Pole, your warning is a bit late, Chief Hakoda," General Xu replied.

Ursa clenched her hands together, fearing the worst and that they were about to hear that the Northern Water Tribe had been destroyed. And what of the Avatar and Hakoda's children?

The general, however, grinned broadly. "No need to fear. I received the warning a week ago from an informant. I left immediately to warn the Northern Water Tribe of the danger, but I arrived too late. The battle was already over. I've just returned this morning with the news. The Avatar stopped the Fire Nation fleet and saved the Northern Tribe." He shook his head. "I wonder if we would have located the Northern Tribe as quickly as we did if it wasn't for all the signs of battle. It's been far too long since anyone had contact with them, but we hope that we can begin to establish communication with them once more. They seemed willing to at least talk with us."

"The Avatar stopped an entire fleet?" Ursa asked in disbelief. She could only imagine how many ships Zhao would have gathered to attack.

"Yes!" General Xu beamed. "Isn't it incredible? He apparently entered the Avatar State—the state in which he has great power. I've heard that his eyes and tattoos glow when he's in this state."

How many people had died? As much as Ursa wanted to believe that maybe this meant Zhao had perished, what would that mean for those who _weren't _like Zhao? What of Ran, who had done nothing but help them and who was working _against _the Fire Nation? What of the ones who had just been following orders and who didn't think any better of it, who had wives and children back home who would be mourning the loss of loved ones?

_Ran._ "Wait. General Xu, who was this informant who told you the Northern Water Tribe was in danger?" Ursa asked.

"The same person who informed us that you had escaped. We sent word out immediately to the Southern Water Tribe to let them know," Xu said kindly.

Ursa dug into her pocket and pulled out the white lotus Pai Sho tile. "Does this mean anything to you?" she asked him.

General Xu grinned broadly. "It means far more to me than I think _you _know, Lady Ursa."

"Please, can you tell me—was it a young man named Ran? Was he the one who warned you?"

"It was indeed. I don't know where he is now, but he had other purposes to attend to in the Earth Kingdom."

Inwardly, Ursa melted in relief. So perhaps Ran, at least, hadn't been anywhere near the North Pole during the battle.

"I had opportunity to speak very briefly with the Avatar while I was in the Northern Water Tribe," Xu continued.

"Do you know anything of his companions from the South Pole?" Hakoda asked.

"You would be referring to the waterbender Katara and the warrior Sokka," General Xu said. "I did not have the chance to speak with them while I was there, but I heard great things about them. The Avatar and his two companions plan to stay at the North Pole for a short time to continue waterbending training."

Hakoda closed his eyes briefly, and Ursa reached out and pressed a hand against his arm. His children were well, and she could practically feel the gratitude rolling off of him.

"And now that you're safe," General Xu said, "I imagine you have other purposes to attend to as well. You're welcome to stay here while I get word of your location out to your fleet, so that you may join them once again, Chief Hakoda."

Hakoda nodded. "That would be most welcome, General Xu."


	15. Living for Today

**A/N: **Thanks to hplo, Aristeia, and star for reviewing!

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen - Living for Today**

The Southern Water Tribe received General Xu's message and sent one back, saying it would take some time to get there, and telling Hakoda when to expect them and where they would land. By the time they were expected to arrive, a month would have passed since Ursa and Hakoda's capture. Hakoda had decided to go out to meet them on the day of the rendezvous, since the location they gave him was several hours away from Xu's base, and he told Ursa he didn't want the men to have to come looking for him.

On the night before the scheduled meeting with the Southern Water Tribe men, he came to the room where Ursa was sleeping at the army base. "Can we talk?" he asked Ursa after she opened the door.

"Of course." Ursa stepped aside and motioned him into the room. She could tell something was weighing on his mind.

"Ursa," he began, "I was wondering what your plans are now. After everything General Xu has told us, I don't know if we're going to be hunting for spies anymore."

They had learned that when General Xu had been contacted by Ran, it was for more than warning him of the attack against the Northern Tribe and telling him of Ursa and Hakoda's escape. Ran was connected to Jeong Jeong, who had apparently also been working on uncovering the spies in the Earth Kingdom network. Ursa wasn't sure how Jeong Jeong had found out about the spies, but he'd had more information on the situation than the Earth Kingdom. He had found out that Zhao was the one who had sent spies into the Earth Kingdom, and they were all reporting back to him. Jeong Jeong had reversed the situation on Zhao by sending Ran to spy on _him_. Ran had gotten close enough to learn where many of Zhao's spies were stationed, and he delivered that information to General Xu. At that point, they didn't even know if Zhao had survived the invasion at the North Pole, and if he hadn't, what that would mean for any spies he had out among the Earth Kingdom underground.

"Until the Earth Kingdom sorts out what they want to do next with the spy situation, I don't think we'll be involved. In fact, I think it might be time that the Southern Water Tribe did the same thing that General Xu's been doing for the Earth Kingdom and reestablish communication with the Northern Water Tribe. It's been far too long since the Water Tribes had any communication with each other. I'll talk to the others about it when I see them, but I think they'll agree." Hakoda paused, and Ursa braced herself, knowing what turn the conversation was going to take. It was inevitable. "Ursa, I know it wouldn't be fair to keep you traveling with us, since you only agreed to help look for firebenders."

There was a weight in Ursa's chest bigger than a dragon egg, and she turned away from Hakoda, smoothing the blanket on her bed to have something, anything, to keep her hands occupied. He was right, of course. What use would she be if the mission was over? What would her purpose be? Was she supposed to just find some new Earth Kingdom town and set up there as a member of the Earth Kingdom underground?

She didn't want to do that. She was a little surprised at the strength of her conviction on that matter. She knew she could be helpful doing that, but the thought of trying to settle into a new town, meeting new people and starting all over _again_ made her heart sink. She had thoughts about going to find Zuko, but she had nowhere to even begin looking for him, and was still worried that poking around and trying to find him would put him in greater danger.

"General Xu is offering to have someone escort you wherever you want to go. Or if you'd like, you can come with me tomorrow, and we could take you somewhere nearby."

"That's very generous," Ursa replied stiffly. She straightened, knowing how ridiculous it looked as she continued to fiddle with the bed when there was nothing wrong with it in the first place.

"But you're not happy about it."

Ursa finally turned back around. Hakoda was watching her with one eyebrow slightly raised. "I didn't say that."

He actually laughed at that. Her eyes narrowed, not sure what was so amusing about the situation. "Of course you didn't." He shook his head. "You manage to say a lot without ever speaking, Ursa."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "And you're so good on figuring out what I'm saying?"

"I've picked up on a few things." Hakoda took a step toward her and he was suddenly very close. "Ursa. You can do whatever you want. I was only trying to tell you that you have help if you want it."

Ursa folded her arms across her chest, as though she could trap all of the frustration and disappointment inside of her. "I understand."

He searched her eyes. "I don't think you do."

"I _do_," she retorted. "You have people to get back to, and you no longer need my help. Not that I was any help in the first place." She took a deep breath and forced her hands down to her sides. "I'm sorry."

"_Ursa_." The tone of his voice stopped any other words she had. "I'm not throwing you off my boat. I said it wouldn't be _fair _to ask you to come. I never said you had to leave. If we travel to the North Pole, it will be a diplomatic trip, and I think you're pretty familiar with those. Whether or not you're needed to seek out firebender spies, I value your insight, and I already know that you keep a level head in tricky situations. If you want to come with me, you're more than welcome." He smiled. "Though the North Pole is entirely ice and snow, and you may have had your fill of that already."

The frustration and disappointment had shifted into something else, something more like relief…and maybe even hope. "If I came with you," she said carefully, "what about after the North Pole, or whenever it is you go back to fighting?"

"I don't know. We can cross that bridge when we come to it." Hakoda paused. "Of course, this would mean sleeping in a storage space and probably hearing Mikko's snores through the wall. Not to mention smelling stewed sea prunes, and—"

He stopped talking when she flung her arms around him, surprising herself as much as she probably surprised Hakoda, but his arms encircled her and she didn't want to move. She tried to remember the last time she'd had physical contact like this, aside from the time she'd woken up to find she'd accidentally sprawled all over Hakoda in her sleep. Being held, holding someone else—it had been years. Years and_ years_, and the dam that was holding back all the loneliness and abandonment was suddenly more obvious than it had ever been before. It was more than obvious—it was threatening to break.

She wasn't sure how long she stood there with Hakoda, face buried in his shoulder and his hair tickling her cheek, before she managed to lift her head to look at him. The expression in his eyes froze her in place and sent shivers along her spine. Caught in his gaze, she slowly traced one hand over his brow and down his cheek.

Then his mouth was on hers—or maybe she had moved first—and she was clutching the back of his tunic, her reaction to him far more intense than she had ever imagined it could be. His kiss was just like him—warm and strong, sure and steady, and he moved away far sooner than she would have liked. She stared at him, hands trembling where they still grasped his tunic. She wasn't sure when it had been the last time anyone had looked at her the way Hakoda was looking at her right then, as though she was the most treasured person in the world. As though she was beautiful and desired. She didn't know if she had _ever _been looked at quite that way, not with such selflessness.

Ursa leaned forward and their lips met again, deeper, more urgent. For a moment, she could almost forget where they were. She could almost forget that they were in the middle of a war. She wanted to forget. At that moment, she wanted this more than she had wanted anything in such a long time, and she knew that she shouldn't. She knew, deep down, that she shouldn't want _him_, because no matter what he said or how he looked at her, there was a part of her that was still so lost and terrified and uncertain. But at that moment, it all seemed so small and far away, as desperate, aching need mingled with desire. She was holding onto Hakoda so tightly she didn't know if she could open her fingers to let him go. The emotions and sensations stirring in her were ones that she had never thought she would ever be capable of feeling again for any man.

She drew him closer, pressing against him, and felt his body reacting to her. Her heart was racing with the strange mixture of fear and longing, frustration and need, and something else that overwhelmed all of that. It was that something that she knew, that she recognized, but that she couldn't put to words. Putting it to words, even in her own mind, would make it real, and if it was real, she couldn't protect herself from it. She was tired. She was so tired of her fear and her loneliness, and right then nothing seemed to matter except the feel of his skin under her fingers. Her legs bumped against the bed and her grip on Hakoda tightened.

Hakoda broke their kiss and took a step backwards, holding her by her shoulders. His fingers slid down her arms until he was pressing both of her hands between his, and she could see the reflection of her own emotions in his eyes as he looked at her.

"Ursa." His voice was slightly unsteady, and he cleared his throat. He shook his head. "I can't—I can't ask this of you. I can't take this from you."

Her breath froze in her lungs, frustration and embarrassment breaking through everything else. She should have known—

But whatever thoughts she started to have about why Hakoda was rejecting her were dashed when he continued, "Can you tell me honestly that you wouldn't regret it?"

Her eyes widened; that had not at all been what she expected. She opened her mouth, but found that she didn't have any words. She couldn't. She couldn't tell him that, because she couldn't be sure. Maybe she would regret it. Maybe she would hate herself for her vulnerability and maybe she wouldn't be able to look Hakoda in the eye. Her emotions and thoughts were too tangled to know _anything _for sure at that moment.

Hakoda nodded, looking unsurprised by her silence, and quietly said, "I won't do something that might make you hate me tomorrow." He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He squeezed her hands between his once and then carefully let her go, turning and walking out of her room before she had managed to even utter one word.

:-:-:-:-:

Ursa saw Hakoda the next morning when she joined him so they could go meet the rest of the Southern Water Tribe. She met his eyes and tried not to be embarrassed about the night before. She had been up half the night thinking about it.

The smile Hakoda offered her showed no hint of any mortification on his part. He just nodded at her and asked, "Are you ready?"

She nodded. They took their leave of General Xu and set off toward the rendezvous point in silence until Ursa couldn't stand it anymore. She cleared her throat. "Hakoda. I need to apologize for last night."

"No, you don't."

She looked at him stubbornly. "Yes, I do."

He looked back at her levelly. "I'm not sorry."

It was still there in his eyes—all of those emotions that had been there the night before, and she realized it was what she had been seeing glimpses of whenever he looked at her lately, but she didn't remember it being that obvious. Maybe it had been and she had just been ignoring it, or maybe last night had just dragged it all closer to the surface. Trying to pretend it wasn't there now would be like staring into the face of an angry komodo rhino and trying to pretend it didn't really exist.

_No, _she thought to herself, _I'm a lot better at pretending with my own feelings._

They continued onward, and she began to relax again. It was impossible to be uncomfortable around Hakoda; his nature was just too unaffected for her to be tense around him for long. Though they didn't talk about what had happened between them in her room, she knew her perceptions had changed. She knew they were _still_ changing, but at least she recognized now that she had to come to terms with _how_—and to come to terms with herself. Hakoda had made her see that when he asked her if she would have regret. He had been trying to make her see it in so many ways all along.

It was early afternoon when Ursa and Hakoda arrived on the shores of the meeting point and found the Southern Water Tribe already docked and camped out on shore. The noise and joyful greetings seemed almost louder than when they had reunited with Bato.

"You're okay!" Mikko lifted Ursa off her feet and spun her around in dizzying circles before setting her back down. She blinked up at his beaming face, and then grinned at him in return.

As more of the men patted her on the shoulder or pulled her into crushing hugs, it was as though her entire spirit breathed a sigh of relief. The most relieving thing of all was seeing that Notu and Bato were both there, safe and whole. Ursa didn't know how to describe the way she felt as she stood on the shore with the Water Tribe men while the ships bobbed gently in the water. _Content_, maybe. It was as though she knew she was where she was supposed to be.

"We looked all over for you two," Bato explained. "Notu and I fought our way out of the tavern, but there was no sign of you. We did everything we could to find out where you might have been taken."

Hakoda clapped a hand to his shoulder. "I know. We were only captured for one night before we escaped."

"How did you escape?" Pika asked. "The message we got didn't give any details."

Hakoda told them about Ran, the Fire Nation soldier who was secretly working against his people. He glanced at Ursa as he was talking and she tensed. She knew that he would explain to the other men that she, too, was from the Fire Nation. They had discussed it while at Xu's base, but she had known that he would tell his men even before he said anything. He wouldn't keep that kind of secret from them. She had asked that he not give them the personal details of her life that she had shared—her husband's abuse, the little memories she had told him, and he had said he wouldn't. "Those are pieces of your life that are yours to tell, if and when you want to tell them," he had assured her.

Ursa paid close attention to the reaction of the men as they learned about Ran. Notu nudged Ursa. "See, Ursa, didn't I tell you? Where there's one deserter, there are usually more. Guess that former Admiral Jeong Jeong has some help after all."

"I wonder how _many _more there are," Mikko mused. "How many more people from the Fire Nation might be hiding, even in the Fire Nation ranks, and working against them." He shrugged. "At least we know we have help on the inside, even if we don't know who."

"Actually." Hakoda again looked at Ursa, and she clenched sweaty hands into fists. She might not have been as terrified as the first time she had admitted it, when she had told Hakoda, but there was definitely still anxiety there as Hakoda spoke. He didn't hesitate, didn't draw it out. He just put a hand on Ursa's shoulder and said, "Ursa is from the Fire Nation."

The men were so quiet that the sound of the gentle breeze wafting around her seemed horrifically loud. She saw astonishment in expressions, confusion, and in some, wariness.

Bato finally broke the silence. "I imagine this has quite a story behind it." He was the one who looked the most guarded, Ursa thought, and it made sense, because he didn't know her at all. He had been around her for less than a day when she and Hakoda had been captured.

She also knew that it was important that she step up and explain herself instead of having Hakoda speak for her. Folding her hands together, she said, "I left the Fire Nation five years ago. I've been working for the Earth Kingdom for almost that long, and it was my fault that Hakoda and I were captured. There was a Fire Nation admiral who learned where I was and wanted to use me for his own ends."

"He drugged her and tried to get information out of her," Hakoda said, "but she didn't tell him anything. That was when Ran helped us escape."

The silence was completely shattered then as the men began asking questions—the same ones Hakoda had asked when he found out she was from the Fire Nation. When they asked why she had left, she was much calmer when she told them the same thing she told Hakoda: that she had been a noble and someone had threatened her son, that she'd had to strike a bargain to keep him alive, and had been forced to leave the Fire Nation as a result. She needed them to know this, because she needed them to understand something that she had told Hakoda back at Xu's base, and which she told the men now.

"I don't know if Admiral Zhao got word back to the Fire Nation that he had found me working for the Earth Kingdom. I don't even know if Zhao lived through the invasion at the North Pole. I'm inclined to believe he didn't tell anyone he captured me—Zhao never does anything if it doesn't help his power and position," she said.

Mikko nodded slowly. "And letting you escape doesn't look very good on his end, hm?"

Ursa met Mikko's eyes and was reassured when he gave her a small smile. "Exactly. I don't want the Earth Kingdom to know that I'm from the Fire Nation. I know the Earth Kingdom would assume that because I was nobility, I have troves of information for them, but I don't. I wasn't involved in the military meetings, and I'm sure any military outposts I knew of would have been changed." She knew Ozai wouldn't have wanted to leave anything to chance and would have done his best to move or change anything of value that she might have known.

"That makes sense," Pika said. He crossed his arms and considered her.

"I don't want them to try to lock me up somewhere so they can search for information I don't have," Ursa said. "Besides that, if there's any chance that Zhao didn't get word about me back to the Fire Nation, I'd like to keep it that way, since they might see me as a threat."

"You _are_ a threat to them—you can recognize firebenders," Notu said. "And it suddenly makes a lot more sense _why _you can do that." There was another heavy silence, and then he asked her curiously, "So do you know Jeong Jeong?"

It wasn't a question she had expected, and she nodded. "I knew him, back before either of us were deserters. I haven't seen him in recent years."

"Wait! You were nobility; did you know the _Firelord_?" Ronook asked.

It took a lot to keep from visibly flinching at that one. It was a moment before Ursa found her voice, and it came out sounding hoarse. "Yes. Although he wasn't the Firelord when I knew him." _Please don't ask anything else about Ozai,_ she pleaded inwardly. _I can't talk about him. I can't. _

She was grateful when Hakoda stemmed any further questions. He squeezed her shoulder and looked around at his men. "I trust Ursa with my life."

And that was it. She knew there might still be suspicions from them, or more questions, but the men accepted Hakoda's words and trusted his judgment. Just as Hakoda hadn't shunned her when he found out she was Fire Nation, neither did the rest of the men, and any discomfort Ursa felt at so many people knowing her identity was overwhelmed with the relief that she had one group of people with whom she didn't have to pretend. It was easier than she had anticipated, and she thought that was probably because she'd had so much practice lately in discussing it.

The conversation changed to current military events. Hakoda discussed the spy situation and how it was a big unknown, and his thoughts on visiting the North Pole. The rest of the Water Tribe agreed as Hakoda had guessed they would, and weren't surprised that Ursa was coming along. They decided to eat dinner on the beach and then set sail.

"So."

Ursa jumped a little, jarred out of her thoughts, when Mikko bounded over next to her.

"Fire Nation, hm?" He paused, and Ursa braced herself, but he just smiled at her. "It's good to know not everyone in that place is bent on destruction."

"I don't know, Mikko." Tamoru looked over his shoulder at them. "She's pretty good at destroying us in cards."

Mikko snapped his fingers. "So she is. How could we have missed the signs?" He wagged a finger at her. "Diabolical, Ursa. Very diabolical."

"At least _some _of us weren't idiot enough to bet against her after she beat us the first time," Ronook said. He winked at her.

Gratitude flooded Ursa, and her throat was so thick she wasn't sure if she could speak, but she managed to return a smile at all three men. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Bato watching her. She met his eyes and after a moment, he nodded at her and looked away.

_Today is today. _She reminded herself of Hakoda's words to her, and looked around at the Water Tribe men. Slogging through a lifetime's worth of baggage, disappointment, and heartache was hard, and learning to see life from a different viewpoint was, too, but the Water Tribe had learned how to do it. As Tamoru handed her a knife and cheerfully told her it was time to gut some fish so they could make a soup, she thought that maybe Hakoda was right. Maybe she did make it more difficult than it had to be.


	16. Training Days

**A/N: **Thanks to Obscure Stranger, ArrayePL, Aristeia, Lance Murdock, ayameko2TT2, TearOfMist, and Star for reviewing!

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**Chapter Sixteen - Training Days**

It was so good to be sailing again, to be on the familiar boats and feel the gentle motion as they cut through the ocean. Hakoda turned his face against the icy air as they headed steadily toward the North Pole, staring upward at the glittering stars and the bright moon. It was quiet on deck as most everyone else slept below. Notu was moving around on the other end of the deck. Across the water, the other three ships moved with Hakoda's. The only people awake were those that were keeping watch and making sure the boats stayed on course.

Toward the end of Hakoda's shift, Bato emerged from below deck. He had turned his boat over to Tamoru on the journey north so that he could catch up and discuss events with Hakoda. Also, Hakoda was sure, so that he could get to know Ursa a little.

Bato waved at Notu and went to stand beside Hakoda. "Strange few months we've had lately."

Hakoda smiled wryly. "In more ways than I could have imagined."

They talked for a while about a lot of small things that had happened to both of them in all of their weeks apart, until at last Bato broached the subject that Hakoda had known was coming. "So. Ursa." Bato eyed Hakoda. "She must be quite a woman for you to love her, Hakoda."

Hakoda didn't immediately reply. He wasn't surprised by Bato's observation. At this point, he would have been surprised if the whole fleet didn't know.

Thoughts of Ursa flashed through his mind. The first night they had met, when she was fleeing from the firebender after she'd fought free of him in her inn. The expression on her face when she tried stewed sea prunes. The way she had plunged forward into icy waters and snowy hills, still drugged after holding her own against Zhao's questioning. The idea of her sitting at a noble dinner party, playing with a napkin puppet. The way her smiles and laughter had slowly been drawn out of her as time passed with the Water Tribe. He thought of her passion and the fiery nature that sometimes slipped past her careful composure.

He recalled the sensation of waking up with her in his arms, of her mouth on his and her fingers burning trails over his skin. Walking out of her room the night before had been one of the hardest, most frustrating things he had done in past months, when his own loneliness had crashed headfirst into hers and he had wanted nothing more than to strip away everything left between them and just _fall._ He had no doubt that he would have, too, except for the knowledge that he cared about her far too much to be the cause of another regret added to the pile she was already sifting through. He may have realized just what Ursa meant to him, but he didn't know what he meant to her. He wasn't sure that _she _knew yet, not really.

He didn't realize he was holding his breath until he let it out. "She is," he finally said to Bato.

Bato gave him a half-smile and shook his head a little. "I saw how you felt about her on the first day I met her."

"Then you were a few steps ahead of me," Hakoda said.

"Sometimes it takes us a while to see the obvious in ourselves," Bato replied. "And to tell you the truth, I wasn't sure I would ever see you look at a woman this way again."

Hakoda rubbed the back of his neck. "What's the saying? 'Life is what happens when we least expect it?'"

"Sounds like something your mother said."

"It probably was. My father always said life is like an arctic hippo, and we have to grab on with both hands and hold on tight." That had been long ago and far away; Hakoda's father had died when he was young. "Right now, I'm just not sure whether the hippo's got me up in the air or under the water."

"No one said life wasn't disorienting, and we know what it's _really _like trying to ride an arctic hippo." Bato grinned at him and clapped him on the back. "It'll work itself out, Hakoda, whatever's going on between you two. And fair warning—quite a few of the men are making bets on how it will play out."

Hakoda shook his head slightly. Of course they were. "And what are _you _betting?"

"Hakoda, really. What kind of friend would I be if I made bets on your happiness?"

"A very normal one." Hakoda yawned and stretched his arms out in front of him. "What are_ your_ thoughts on Ursa?"

"I don't know," Bato said. "I don't know her. Right now, I'm just trusting that you do." He nodded toward the ladder to the hold. "It's my shift now. You look tired."

Hakoda stifled another yawn and nodded. "We'll talk again later."

"As long as I don't get burned and you don't get captured," Bato said dryly.

Hakoda headed down the ladder to the hold, his eyes flickering to the closed door to the little storage room where Ursa was sleeping. Sighing, he rubbed a hand over his face and turned into the bunk, ducking around several occupied hammocks before sliding onto his own. It was good to be back, swinging in his hammock as the ship rocked under him, but at the same time, he was restless and his mind was locked firmly on the woman in the next room. Maybe it was because he had just been so used to having her close the last month. He had gone to sleep listening to the sound of her breathing, and had woken up always making sure that she was still safely beside him. Now the only sounds were from Mikko snoring. That wouldn't last long; Notu would be down to wake him for his shift shortly.

Hakoda took a slow, deep breath and closed his eyes. Everything was the same here, familiar and welcoming, but at the same time, it made him all more aware of how much had changed.

:-:-:-:-:

The next day, Ursa didn't wake up until mid-morning, and she emerged appearing more rested than Hakoda had seen her look in weeks.

"We saved you some breakfast, if you're hungry," he told her after he'd greeted her.

"I can't believe I slept so long. Or so soundly," she added.

"Well, now that you're awake, we can put you to work," Notu told her cheerfully as he handed her the breakfast they'd set aside. "I've got nets and clothing to mend. Take your pick."

"I'll take clothing," Ursa said, sitting down on the deck with her food.

"Oh, good. I prefer net mending."

Ursa smiled a little. "I know." Her smile faded as Notu walked away to talk to Bato, and she stared down at the food on her lap, lost in thought.

"What's on your mind?" Hakoda asked her after a long silence.

She sighed. "What isn't?"

"Arctic hippos," Hakoda said immediately.

Ursa stared up at him. "What?"

"Well, as dangerous as betting against you might be, I'd wager that arctic hippos are not on your mind."

That was where Bato, had he overheard, would have groaned or rolled her eyes. Ursa looked like she was refraining from doing the same thing. "No, arctic hippos are not on my mind." She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I did a lot of thinking last night." She glanced around at the other men on deck, then looked back at Hakoda. "I wanted to ask you if you would teach me to fight."

Hakoda's eyebrows rose. "Really."

"I know it's probably not something women in your tribe usually learn," she said quickly.

"They learn some things, but you're right—they don't learn as much as the men. There's nothing saying they can't, but traditionally, it's been the men who go to fight."

"It's not that I want to head off to deliberately get into physical fights against the Fire Nation," Ursa said. "It's just that the fights have been coming to me even when I've been trying to avoid them. I had self-defense training when I was young, but I've forgotten quite a lot of it from years of not using it. I'm tired of feeling useless when people come after me—and they've come after me a lot the past couple of months."

"What's this about people coming after you?" Mikko stopped in front of them, holding a thick blue jacket, and looked at Ursa with a frown. "Here. This is for you." He held out the thick coat, and Ursa set her food down on the deck so she could stand up and take it. "It'll probably be a little bit big, but in the cold weather, that can be a bonus. It'll sure keep you warmer than what you're wearing now."

"Thank you." Ursa slipped on the fur-lined jacket and smiled in relief. "That _is _much better." She tugged the hood up over her head.

Mikko grinned. "You look very Water Tribe. It suits you. Don't you think, Hakoda?" He elbowed Hakoda, and only then did Hakoda realize he was watching Ursa a little too intently. Mikko shook his head knowingly. "Here. I also have gloves." Mikko dropped them into Ursa's hands. "I don't know if they're warmer than the ones you're wearing now, but I'd bet they are. No one makes cold-weather clothes like the Water Tribe!"

"I don't doubt it," Ursa said.

"Now, back to my question—what's this about people coming after you?"

Bato and Notu turned when they heard his comment, and they all listened when Hakoda explained, "She wants to learn to fight so she can better protect herself."

"Oh!" Mikko's surprise quickly changed into interest. "You know, given your history—I mean, your history the past couple months, not your _life_ history—that's not a bad thing at all." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "If we all worked on teaching you, you'd at least learn the basics in no time."

"We should start with hand-to-hand combat," Notu said. "Using clubs and spears require different techniques, and you won't always have those weapons on hand."

"The boomerang is always handy to learn," Mikko said, patting the boomerang sheath on his back, "but that'll have to wait until we land." He nodded at Ursa. "All we have is our metal boomerangs, and with you being a beginner, you'd probably lose them all in the sea. Yeah, hand-to-hand combat would be a good place to start."

After discussing it further, they decided there was no time like the present to begin, so during the trip to the North Pole, the men currently on Hakoda's boat took turns teaching her to fight and defend with her body. Some of it, she told them, was familiar and brought back old self-defense lessons she had learned, but she still had to train herself to remember it all over again, and to be able to do it without thinking about it.

The men weren't just teaching her to fight against them while they were empty-handed, though. They brought out their spears and their clubs, and they worked with her on getting around weapons or blocking them.

By the end of the first day, they had worked with her on being able to block or break very basic holds—whether someone grabbed her from behind, around the neck, from the front, or on the wrists. It would take some time for these defensive moves to become instinctual, but Hakoda was confident that she would get there if she kept at it. It was obvious how much she wanted to learn it, and no matter how long it took. She did have a head start in some ways-she had a very sharp eye for body movements, due to all of her years of observing the distinct motions of firebenders, and later earthbenders. Where it took some people a long time to even begin to notice the subtle movements that would tell whether an attacker was moving to the left or right, what they were going to do with their arm or their leg, and other such body language, Ursa caught them right away. It made it much easier for her to learn what she should do in response.

Hakoda was the one who helped her with defense against someone grabbing her from behind, and it was hard. Not teaching her, but the close proximity to her as he continually wrapped his arms around her so she could practice getting away from him. She was getting quicker, but every time he pinned her, she hesitated to hit the points on him that would break his hold. He wasn't sure if she was having trouble with the close contact or if she was afraid of hurting him. Of course, she could have just been tired—by the time his lesson came, it was already the end of the day and she'd been working on this since breakfast.

"We can stop if you need a break, Ursa," he told her.

"I'm fine," she said quickly. She glanced over her shoulder at Hakoda, her eyes steely. "I am."

He looked at her stubborn expression and nodded. "Okay."

Ursa took a deep breath. "Ready."

"Don't hesitate. A few bruises aren't going to kill me." It was all the warning he gave before he had a hold on her from behind, one arm around her stomach, the other around her upper chest. He hadn't even had time to tighten his grip when her heel scraped down the inside of his leg. At the same time, she dug her thumb into a pressure point on his wrist to release one hand and shoved against his other arm. His fingers caught the edge of her jacket as she tried to escape, swinging her back around so she was facing him. He twisted them both quickly, pinning her against the side of the boat, and got a better grasp on her.

He saw a sudden panic in her eyes and realized he was pushing his hand against her scarred shoulder. Before he had a chance to move, she swung her knee hard into his groin, sending him stumbling back several steps, doubling over and trying to catch his breath.

There was wide-eyed silence from the other men watching their practice. Ursa pressed a hand over her mouth and stared at Hakoda, her eyes filling with horror. "I'm sorry," she said as she lowered her hand. "I—" She glanced around at their audience and swallowed. "I'm sorry, Hakoda."

Hakoda slowly straightened and shook his head. "Like I said, a few bruises aren't going to kill me."

He could see some of the men itching to make a comment about that, but the way they exchanged amused glances said plenty enough.

"We should probably stop for now." Ursa had slipped back into her very calm, formal voice, which of course meant she was upset. She pressed one fist against her other palm and bowed slightly to all of them. "Thank you all for your help today." She didn't wait for a response as she headed quickly to the ladder that led down to the hold.

There was a long moment of silence, and then Mikko said, "Well, at least we don't have to teach her to fight dirty. She's got that part handled." He clapped a hand on Hakoda's back sympathetically.

It wasn't until later that night, when Hakoda was again on deck, that he saw Ursa again. She climbed up out of the hold, wrapped in the thick blue coat that Mikko had given her.

"I know you're going to tell me I shouldn't apologize for earlier," she began as she walked over to stand beside him.

"You're right." Hakoda turned to face her. "It was a lot of strain to put on you." With her tendency toward being physically withdrawn, he knew it couldn't have been easy to subject herself to having men grabbing her all day, however good their intentions.

"You didn't put anything on me," Ursa said firmly. "I asked for it. I'm not going to stop learning just because I had…" She trailed off, looking unsure of how to put it. Her gloved hand pressed briefly against her scarred shoulder. "I panicked. I should have had better control, but I panicked and I hurt you. And for that, I _am _sorry."

"Well, at least you didn't punch me in the face again," Hakoda teased.

Ursa didn't look at all amused, only confused. "'Again?'" she echoed.

"You were drugged."

"I punched you while I was drugged?" Ursa asked, aghast. She stared at him, and then rubbed her temples. She turned away from him and leaned her hands against the edge of the boat. "Hakoda…"

He waited, and when she remained silent, he finally answered, "Ursa…?"

She faced him again. There was a thoughtful expression on her face as her eyes met his. "Tomorrow," she said softly, "I'd like to keep working on this, if you and the others are still willing to teach me."

"Of course we are."

Ursa nodded once and started to walk past him. Then she stopped next to him. "Thank you, Hakoda." She leaned toward him and quickly pressed her lips to his cheek. Her eyes met his for a long moment, and then she turned and hurried for the ladder without looking back at him.

He stared after her, the lingering gentle brush of her kiss taking him by surprise far more than her earlier knee to the groin had.

He heard a low whistle, and looked over to see Notu, again on shift with him, grinning. "I don't know who you two think you're kidding," he said, just loudly enough for Hakoda to hear him, "but it's sure not us."

:-:-:-:-:

The next day, as promised, they kept training with Ursa, and she approached it with even more focused determination than she'd had the day before. By the end of the day, she was exhausted, but if she'd had any moments of panic during the day, she hadn't shown it—not even when Mikko started showing her how to get away when someone had her pinned flat to the ground. It turned out that particular move was the one she remembered the most clearly from her self-defense lessons when she was young, and so one that she picked back up the fastest.

It was several hours after sunset, after they had finished supper and were winding down for the evening, when they were finally introduced to the Northern Water Tribe. The meeting occurred when waterbenders stopped their boats dead in the ocean and appeared in other small boats around them.

"You must be the Southern Water Tribe," one of the strangers called, slowly lowering his hands as he examined the Southern ships and men curiously.

"Yes." Hakoda looked at the Northern waterbenders in equal interest. "I'm Chief Hakoda of the Southern Tribe."

"You're most welcome here." The waterbender smiled broadly and nodded at his companions. "We'll take you into the city."

Hakoda's first glimpse of the Northern Water Tribe city was one that he would never forget. As waterbending was used to get them through the outer walls, one of their guides called an explanation. "We've repaired most of the damage to buildings and structures in the time since the Fire Nation siege. It was extensive; the waterbenders here have all been working very hard to set things right."

"Would you look at that," Mikko breathed as he stared around at the water canals and ornate structures that stretched out as far as they could see.

"Somehow this isn't what I imagined when you described the South Pole to me," Ursa murmured.

"This is nothing like the South Pole," Bato said. "The South Pole is a few villages scattered around. Tents and igloos. This—" He waved a hand around at the city. "This is apparently what happens when waterbenders flourish."

It wasn't long before their ships were anchored in a small harbor within the city, and Hakoda and his companions began to disembark.

One of the waterbenders jumped out of his boat to greet them. After clasping several of their arms and introducing himself as Okonu, he said, "Please come with me. Chief Arnook will want to meet you."


	17. The Northern Water Tribe

**A/N: **Thanks to Obscure Stranger, Aristeia, Star, FireChildSlytherin5, ayameko2TTe, ArrayePL, JFAPOI, and Lance Murdock for reviewing!

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**Chapter Seventeen - The Northern Water Tribe**

Watching Hakoda and Chief Arnook shake hands was a moment of history, and one that Ursa was honored to witness. Chief Arnook's council was present as Hakoda introduced the rest of the Southern Water Tribe, and then Ursa. They had already discussed what they would tell the Northern Tribe, because as much as Ursa would have preferred her nationality to remain secret, she knew she couldn't be a cause for potential trouble between the Northern and Southern Tribes. More than that, she wouldn't ask Hakoda to lie to the Northern Water Tribe on her behalf. It was one thing to avoid telling the Earth Kingdom, who already assumed she was one of them.

"This is Ursa." Hakoda motioned her to step forward. "She's been traveling with us for some months now."

If Chief Arnook or his council looked surprised that the men of the Southern Tribe had a woman traveling with them, they masked it quickly. "Ursa," Arnook greeted her. "You are from the Earth Kingdom, then?"

Ursa held herself straight and replied, "I'm from the Fire Nation. I've lived in the Earth Kingdom for a long time, and I work with them to help put a stop to my country's conquest."

There were the stares and murmurs she had expected, but Chief Arnook nodded. "I see. And you vouch for this woman, Chief Hakoda?"

"I wouldn't have brought her here otherwise," Hakoda said levelly. "We're telling you because we wanted there to be no dishonesty between us, but I would ask for this to remain between us, for Ursa's safety. We've had trouble with spies in the Earth Kingdom."

Arnook nodded. "So I've heard."

Ursa had a feeling that there would be more discussion about her when she wasn't around, but for now, she breathed an inner sigh of relief as Arnook moved onto other matters.

"I'm glad to finally meet you," Arnook said, turning his attention back on Hakoda. "And to have a chance to tell you how honored I am to have met your children. They left two days ago with some of the benders and healers in our tribe. The benders and healers will be going to the South Pole to assist there. Your children and the Avatar are traveling to meet General Fong at the Earth Kingdom base so that the Avatar has an escort to Omashu. Come, all of you, sit. We have much to discuss, and Chief Hakoda, you should know how bravely your children fought and how much they helped us. Also—" he glanced at Ursa "—you may be interested to know you are not the only one in the Fire Nation who endeavored to aid us. Even in the middle of a siege, there was one man who fought to protect the moon spirit against his countrymen."

They listened to the full story of what had happened before and during the Fire Nation siege and why the moon had gone dark. It was a tale of bravery and hope, of a waterbender from the Southern Tribe who forced the Northern Tribe to reevaluate years of stringent tradition so that she could learn to fight and not just heal. It was about a young warrior who fought to protect a princess, and a princess who gave her life to become the moon spirit. It was about an Avatar who ventured into the Spirit World to try to save them.

It was also the story of the Fire Nation prince who had fought against Hakoda's daughter to get to the Avatar.

This was the part that was hardest for Ursa to hear—to learn that Zuko had managed to get his hands on Avatar Aang for a little while, to know that he was still desperately trying to carry out this act so that he could go home again.

There was a glimmer of hope even in her devastation about Zuko, and that was Iroh. _He _was the one that had fought against Admiral Zhao to keep him from killing the moon spirit.

"Of course, we were curious about a man who would do such a thing," Arnook said. "He remained with your children and my daughter, Chief Hakoda, as Yue became the moon spirit. From what we have been told of him, General Iroh is Prince Zuko's uncle, and travels with him."

After the meeting with the Chief and his council, the Southern Tribe was given several huts as guest houses. Ursa was taken under the wing of an elderly waterbending healer named Yugoda, who showed her to a small, one-room hut. "I live right here," Yugoda said, pointing at the hut next door, "so if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask."

Yugoda was very kind, providing her with several sets of clothing, along with some soap and a few other things. She showed Ursa how to warm up water safely so that no part of the hut melted, but so that she finally had some warm water to use to get clean.

"I'm sure the men have been taking good care of you," Yugoda said, "but there are things that they might not think about." She smiled at Ursa. "I'll let you get some rest."

When Yugoda left, Ursa turned and took in the hut. It reminded her a lot of the Water Tribe ships. There were furs on the floor and similar decorations. While it was cold, the hut held more warmth than being directly outside, and it was far more comfortable than wandering through snowy hills in clothes that weren't specifically designed for the weather.

Ursa bathed and dressed as quickly as she could and climbed under the thick blankets on the bed, shivering until she finally started to get warm. Her thoughts were on everything she had heard that night, particularly Zuko and Iroh.

Iroh had always offered Zuko the things that Ozai never had—affection and approval, pride and concern. He had treated Zuko the same way he had treated his own son, and Ursa had always been so grateful to him for that.

But it had been far longer since she had seen Iroh than she had seen her children. What had happened with him after Lu Ten died and Iroh surrendered at Ba Sing Se? Had he been dishonored and banished as well? It didn't seem that way, since Hakoda's children had heard him referred to as General Iroh during the siege at the North Pole. If Iroh had chosen to accompany Zuko during his banishment and hunt for the Avatar…

Then what? She had no idea what it meant, or where Iroh stood on anything anymore, but no matter what side he was on, it made her feel so much better to know that someone who had genuinely cared about Zuko had been watching over him.

:-:-:-:-:

The next day was spent getting to know some of the Northern Tribe. Ursa didn't see much of the men of the Southern Tribe, but she did meet quite a few Northern women. They were as friendly to her as the men of the Southern Tribe. They also didn't know she was from the Fire Nation, but it never came up-they asked her about traveling and told her how amazing it was that she had done so much with the Southern men. She noticed very quickly that those women who weren't married had a particular interest in the men, and she supposed that the single women would find strangers from the opposite end of the world intriguing. They were very intriguing people, she thought, but she wasn't thinking of _all _of them. Her mind was wandering to Hakoda again.

She wasn't the only one whose mind wandered to Hakoda. Ursa was asked about him quite a few times, since the people there already knew who his children were and all were curious about the leader of the Southern Tribe. She wasn't sure how to field the questions and interest in him when the women found out his wife had died years earlier. It bothered her, but she hid it well.

That night, she ate dinner with a large group of people, including the Southern Tribe men, and while everyone was as kind as they could possibly be, the hardest part of the evening was watching a woman flirting with Hakoda. It wasn't _obvious_, outright, throw-herself-at-his-feet flirting, but the woman's body language and facial expressions showed more than enough for Ursa to notice.

She was glad that night to get back to the little hut she was staying in, curl up beneath the blankets, and try not to think about any of it. Of course, trying not to think about it only made it worse, and by the time she did finally manage to fall asleep, she was frustrated and annoyed, more at herself than anyone else.

The next morning, Yugoda came over to her little hut. When Ursa pushed aside the cloth flap covering the door, Yugoda said, "There's a young gentleman here looking for you. A handsome one, at that."

Ursa stifled a laugh when she saw Mikko standing behind Yugoda. He just grinned, shrugged, and said, "Well, thanks, but I'm already married. And I think Ursa would be a bit too much for even me to handle." He winked at Ursa and held his boomerang aloft. "It's time to start boomerang lessons! You thought I forgot, didn't you? Come on, I found the perfect place to practice."

Ursa fetched her gloves, tugged her hood over her head, and followed Mikko out into the city. The frigid air hit her face, but by now she was prepared for the way it sucked the air from her lungs, and she moved quickly to keep up with Mikko. "I didn't expect you would want to start teaching me so soon after we got here. Wouldn't you rather explore and meet people?"

"Ah, you can only see so many buildings before they all look the same, and I've met a lot of people." The way Mikko said it made her look at him quizzically and he shook his head. "Women, Ursa. Don't get me wrong; the women here are as friendly as any in the South Pole, but some of them are a little_ too_ friendly, if you catch my drift."

Ursa's voice was a little irritated when she said, "Oh, I've noticed."

"I'd like a break from explaining that I'm happily married."

"Mikko," she said in amusement, "are you using me as a deterrent against the flirtations of the Northern Tribe women?"

"_Using _is a bit of a strong word, Ursa, but you do make a pretty nice deterrent! Besides, you really do need to practice the boomerang here if you want to learn it. We probably don't have a lot of time before we'll be back on the ships." Mikko led her along several canals, across a bridge, and finally stopped in front of a wide, open clearing that had water canals on two sides. "There are still some buildings pretty close, but this is a good place to work. I found you some nice wooden boomerangs to start with, since there's a good possibility you'll lose a few." He pulled a handful of wooden boomerangs out of his coat and waved at several people walking by, watching them curiously, and called, "Boomerang training! Might want to keep an eye out so you don't get whacked!" Turning back to Ursa, he said, "Okay, you might want to take off your gloves for this."

He helped her get positioned and showed her how to hold the boomerang. "Now, the important thing to remember is that you never want to throw it sideways or underhanded." He motioned with his hand to demonstrate. "It will go straight up in the air and then hit you—or me—in the face. Or it'll just hit the ground and break. You want to throw it overhand, like this." He held one of the wooden boomerangs and threw it while Ursa studied his movements carefully. She watched the boomerang circle up and around, and Mikko grabbed it as it came back to him. "It'll probably take a few throws before you can get it to come back to you, but if you…" He trailed off as Ursa threw the boomerang. It didn't go as far as Mikko's, but it swung back around and landed on the ground a short distance in front of her.

"Not bad! You got it to come back toward you, at least." Mikko ran to grab the boomerang and handed it to her. "Try again."

Ursa pressed her mouth into a line, lifted the boomerang, and threw it. It arced back to her and this time Mikko caught it. "Are you sure you haven't done this before?" he asked.

Ursa shook her head. "Not with a boomerang, but I grew up playing a game that involved throwing balls and hitting a target." She didn't mention that part of the game had also involved firebending for those who were benders. Her aunt had forbidden her from participating in such games, regardless as to what other noble children were playing them, after Ursa had been unable to hide her dirty, singed robes before her aunt saw them. "The boomerang has a different feel, but it's the same throwing motion. It's just that in the game I played, the balls didn't come back."

"Well, this might be easier than I thought. It'll probably be a while before you can catch it—or at least catch it every time you throw it. But I'm not making any bets on it! I'm amazed you're getting it to return so close to you. Go ahead, do it again."

Ursa spent the next little while throwing boomerangs. She was far from perfect. She lost two boomerangs in the canals and broke another one against a building, but she was often successful in getting the boomerangs to return within a very short distance of her.

"And," Mikko added as he walked her back to her hut, "you managed to keep from knocking anyone upside the head, including yourself! I'd definitely call this a success! We'll keep working on it, and we'll keep your hand-to-hand practice going on while we're here, too. You already had a whole day off yesterday, and at this early stage, you should be training everyday."

The next few days, the men of the Southern Tribe kept working with her on training. The area that Mikko had discovered was put to common use by the other men, as they trained with her on defensive and offensive moves against clubs and spears, and while she had more boomerang practice.

The more she was able to block their slower, simpler moves, the more they picked up their pace and came at her a little more quickly and a little more strongly. They were keeping her at a level that she could manage, but which still tested the limits of what she thought she could do. She appreciated that they didn't coddle her or keep her completely comfortable, because the point was to _learn_, and she couldn't learn without being pushed to her limits.

They occasionally had spectators—children, oftentimes, but also a few adults who would stop what they were doing to watch Ursa. While it did much for her humility, she would have preferred privacy. She understood their interest—aside from being a stranger, she was a woman learning how to fight, which was unheard of in the North.

This training taught her more than just how to handle her body. It was a mark of how far she had come that she could allow these men to continually put her in compromising positions. Even if it was so that she could learn to defend herself, she had never imagined before she met the Southern Water Tribe that she would purposely put herself in _any _sort of vulnerable situation.

It also kept her busy, and she was desperately trying to keep herself as distracted as possible so she wouldn't have to focus on her aggravations involving Hakoda. She didn't see him very much; he and Bato were both busy in meetings with Arnook and the council.

Ursa learned more about the customs of the Northern Tribe and the way they differed from those of the Southern Tribe. Mostly, she found, the North had been far stricter about rules and they had things like arranged marriages, while the South Pole was more relaxed and didn't have some of these older customs.

Celebrations were a very big thing in both Water Tribes. Ursa found out just how important these were when she heard about a wedding that was going to be taking place in only a few days. It was an arranged marriage, but from what she was told, the bride and groom were very much in love. Ursa tried to avoid as much talk of the wedding as she could, because she really couldn't do anything more than nod when the other women talked about how wonderful and joyous it was. Yes, she had known—and did know—numerous people who had happy, loving marriages, but her personal experience with marriage didn't lend to being overjoyed about ceremonies.

The people of the Northern Tribe talked about how important it was to have the wedding even so soon after the siege, because it would help everyone to remember that even in the losses of loved ones, the cycle of life continued.

Ursa and the Southern Water Tribe men were invited to the wedding, and so Ursa found herself attending the celebration. As fascinating as it was to see how the Northern Tribe performed their marriage ceremony, Ursa was restless through the whole thing. It got worse when she noticed the woman who had been flirting with Hakoda before was talking to him again. At that point, all she wanted to do was slip away from all of the people and retreat to the solitude of her hut. She waited until she thought she could disappear without being rude, and then she left.

She was walking away from all of the talking, laughing people when Hakoda's voice stopped her. "Ursa!"

Ursa turned to see him hurrying to catch up to her. She waited until he was beside her and offered him a smile. It came out rather forced.

"Leaving so soon?" Hakoda asked her.

She was too weary to make excuses. "Yes. I'm going back to my hut."

"I'll walk you."

The sounds of the wedding quickly faded behind them, and Ursa's tension eased a little bit with it. It was so quiet without the usual people walking around the city, since most were still at the wedding.

"It was interesting to see the ceremony. It was pretty much the same as the ones in the South Pole." Hakoda sounded a little wistful. "It brought back a lot of memories."

Ursa nodded. It had brought back a lot of memories for her, too. Memories of a time when she was anxious and nervous and excited, when she had married Ozai and he had looked so pleased. It was a good memory, but it hurt because she knew how the story had really gone, and _happy _had not been part of the ending. "It was lovely."

"You don't sound very convincing."

Ursa met Hakoda's searching gaze. "What else am I supposed to say, Hakoda? It was a ceremony, with promises made in front of an audience. Promises can be broken, and it doesn't matter how many witnesses there are. As beautiful as it was and as happy as the bride and groom were, it was just…_meaningless_ to me. It doesn't determine whether anything will last."

Hakoda nodded slowly. "Because it's just words." She knew he wasn't agreeing with her—he was just confirming that he understood what she meant.

"Yes." Her voice wasn't as heated as it had been a moment ago. It was tired. "Just words."

"Things are a bit more ritualistic in the North. In the Southern Tribe, wedding ceremonies are there so that everyone can acknowledge and celebrate the union shared by two people."

"It's still just a ceremony. This is my hut." She stopped in front of her little hut and faced Hakoda. "Thank you for walking with me. I suppose you should be getting back to the celebration. I'm sure there are still plenty of people who want to talk to you."

Before Hakoda could respond, she pushed the cloth on her doorway aside and slipped into the little room. She sank down onto her bed and buried her face in her hands. The confusing tangle of emotions that she'd been battling for a while now was closer to the surface than ever. It seemed that the more she tried to ignore what they were telling her, the stronger they got.

:-:-:-:-:

The next morning, she had boomerang practice with Mikko. In the afternoon, it was spear practice with Tamoru and Hikaru. Hikaru had always been on one of the other boats during Ursa's time with the Southern Water Tribe, so she wasn't as familiar with him as she was some of the others, but he was as patient with her as any of the rest of them. And a lot of patience was needed, because it was the first time she had faced two opponents together.

Tamoru nodded at her as he swung a spear around in a circle. "Ready?"

Ursa positioned her feet on the ground. It was tricky, holding herself steady on ice and snow, but she supposed that if she could learn to keep her ground on this, then doing it on other surfaces would be easy in comparison. She nodded and tried to keep an eye on both men at once, watching for the body motions to figure out which way they would move.

It was the most challenging training session so far, and she was glad for it. Her emotions had been circling around viciously since the wedding the day before. She felt like she was standing on the edge of an abyss that she had to cross, but she was too terrified to take the bridge across it, because the bridge was untried. What if it was so unstable that she fell to her doom? What if she got across only to find a vicious beast waiting on the other side?

She threw all of these mixed feelings into her training that afternoon, but it still didn't do much to help. She also ended up getting knocked flat on her back or to her knees more often than usual. The third time Hikaru held out a hand to drag her back to her feet, she said, "I think I like boomerang practice more than this."

"You're doing great," Tamoru assured. "You have a good eye for this. It just takes—"

"—practice, practice, and more practice," Ursa finished.

"Exactly!"

She found her stance again, and then swung in toward Hikaru, taking the offensive and trying to get past his spear. She got past his guard enough to get a hand on his shoulder, and then he blocked her and pushed her back into Tamoru, who hooked his spear around her neck. The defensive technique to get out of that hold came to her without thinking about it and she broke free, swinging herself behind Tamoru. Her boot came down on a patch of ice, and her foot twisted and slid forward. Then she was on her back again, this time slamming her head painfully against the ground.

Tamoru reached down for her and she took his hand. He pulled her to her feet, and then his eyes widened, and she followed his line of sight to the ground. There was blood on the snow. Ursa touched the back of her head and looked at the blood on her fingers.

"Come on. I'll get you to a healer," Hikaru said.

"I don't need a healer," Ursa argued. "It's just-"

"Healer," Hikaru said firmly.

Yugoda was teaching a class in the healing hut when they got there. A group of little boys and girls were sitting around the model of a human body. Ursa knew that the addition of the boys to healing lessons was something that had begun only recently.

After Hikaru ensured Ursa would be looked after, he left her in Yugoda's care. "Oh, this is a very simple healing," Yugoda said as Ursa knelt on the ground, head tilted down so Yugoda could look at the back of her head. "Ursa, would you mind if I used this as a lesson to help the children?"

Ursa glanced around at the children who were peering at her with interest. "Of course not."

She sat still as Yugoda talked about blood flow and head injures. She didn't see what happened, but felt a coolness spreading through her throbbing head, until the pain disappeared entirely.

"That was so great!" one of the youngest boys exclaimed. "I wanna do it!"

"I think that's enough for today," Yugoda said as Ursa lifted her head. "Class dismissed. I will see you all tomorrow." Yugoda put a hand on Ursa's shoulder before Ursa could stand and said quietly, "Wait a moment."

When all of the children had left, Yugoda knelt in front of Ursa. "You were limping when you came in," she explained. "Is your ankle hurt?"

"I twisted it a little. It's all right."

"I'll check you for injuries. I've seen how hard you've been working. Learning to fight can't be easy on your body. May I? I can't heal you without directly touching your skin, but I can find the injuries." Yugoda bended some water around her hands, and Ursa watched in fascination as her hands began to glow. Starting at the top of Ursa's head, Yugoda moved her hands slowly beside Ursa's body. She paused when she got to Ursa's left shoulder, a frown passing over her face, and then she continued down. She moved Ursa's clothes out of the way on her arm, stomach, and then leg, healing a few nasty bruises and the twinge of the twisted ankle.

Once she had finished, she bended the water away and sat back on her heels. "You have a very old wound," she said, her fingers gently pressing against Ursa's upper chest and shoulder. "The blood flows differently there."

Ursa's ingrained defensiveness rose to the surface and she drew back from Yugoda's touch.

Yugoda lowered her hand. "It goes beyond the physical remnants that I sense," she said. "It's left a mark on your spirit, hasn't it? Wounds can heal, but scars remain." When Ursa didn't speak, Yugoda continued, "You seem very troubled."

"Are you getting that from my blood flow, too?"

Yugoda chuckled. "No. From years of experience. This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain Southern Water Tribe chief, would it?"

Ursa's eyes widened and she stared at Yugoda with her mouth slightly open. Yugoda patted her on the arm, her smile widening. "Love is a tricky thing sometimes, isn't it?"

_Love_. The word bounced around Ursa's head, but she shook her head, shying away from it. "I think—" Think what? That Yugoda had it wrong? Ursa couldn't bring herself to deny Yugoda's words, but neither could she agree with her. She settled for silence.

"A blind woman could see the way you two feel about each other," Yugoda told her gently. "I've only seen you together twice, but I noticed it. I can also see that you're very scared."

Looking into the kind eyes of the elderly healer, Ursa finally found words. "I was married once before. It didn't end well."

"You lost him?"

"In more ways than one."

Yugoda nodded. She took Ursa's hands in hers. "Moving away from the past can be a difficult task."

"Sometimes I believe it's impossible."

"No." Yugoda squeezed her hands. "Never impossible. The past isn't forgotten. It shouldn't be. From our past, we learn and we grow."

"But we should live for today. I know." Ursa closed her eyes briefly, and when she opened them, Yugoda was still watching her. "I've learned more about that in the past months than I can begin to tell you."

"Well, there you go." Yugoda rose to her feet and helped Ursa up as well. "It's all right to be afraid, you know. Oftentimes, our fears are only overcome once we have been through what it is we fear the most. If someone is afraid of water, sometimes they only overcome this fear as they learn to swim." She smiled at Ursa. "If someone is afraid of love, perhaps sometimes they only overcome this fear by allowing themselves to experience it again."

Ursa headed back to her hut when she left Yugoda. The older woman's words ran through her head, mixing with all of the things Hakoda had said to her in the past months. On top of it all was one overwhelming truth. She loved Hakoda. And Yugoda was right—it did scare her.

She spent the rest of the afternoon and evening in her guest hut, not going to eat dinner with the Southern Water Tribe men as she had intended to do. She needed the time to just be alone and to wrestle with all of her thoughts and emotions.

_I love Hakoda. I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to be hurt. He would be better off without me__—__he would be better off with one of the Water Tribe women who are so taken with him. But I don't want that. I don't want that._

She wasn't surprised by the strength of her convictions on that matter, but she _was _surprised that for the first time, she wasn't beating herself over the head and telling herself that it didn't matter what she wanted, because she didn't deserve to have anything after everything she had done.

_Maybe I have a lot in my past that's shameful. Maybe I have a lot to make up for, and maybe I will never be able to make up for all of it. But I'm doing my best._

She took a deep breath and paced around the small room. "I'm doing my best," she said aloud. "And that's all I can do right now." She stopped walking and sat on the edge of her bed. "That's…all I've ever tried to do."

She thought of all of her recent combat training with the men, and how every time she was knocked down, she had to keep getting up and trying again. She did get hurt sometimes. It was likely she would continue to get hurt sometimes. But it was worth it.

Something deep inside of Ursa broke, and tears slid down her cheeks. "It's worth it," she whispered to herself. "It can be worth it." She wasn't sure at that point if she was talking about her bargain to save Zuko, or her love for Hakoda, or any other choice she had made in her life; she just knew that something had shifted.

No, something had been shifting inside of her from the moment she set foot on Hakoda's boat, and it had taken this long to move into place. "It can be worth it," she repeated. "I just have to keep trying."

A sense of peace settled over her, and she dragged her knees up to her chest. _I'm still scared. I still don't know if I can forgive myself for some things. But I can accept them. I can accept them, and for now, that's enough._

She wasn't sure how much time passed as she sat there, reveling in her newfound understanding. The abyss still stretched out wide before her, but she had begun to walk across the bridge. It _was _terrifying—but it was also exhilarating, because she knew that she didn't have to cross it alone.

"Ursa?"

Ursa jumped when she heard Hakoda's voice right outside. She froze for a moment, then stood up and pushed aside the cloth on her doorway. "Come in."

Hakoda stepped inside, shedding snow on the floor when he pushed his hood off of his head. He rubbed a hand over his face; he looked tired. "Tamoru told me about your spear training session this afternoon."

"I'm fine. I had a little bump on the head." Ursa clasped her hands in front of her. Her heart was racing and her eyes were locked on Hakoda's face. "Are you all right?"

"Just tired. There's been a lot to talk about with Arnook, but things are going very well. A few of the waterbenders here are volunteering to join the Southern fleet, which will be a great help. I don't know how much longer we'll be staying here." Hakoda smiled at her. "I wanted to see how you were doing, since you weren't at dinner and…well, I didn't feel like we parted on the best terms after the wedding yesterday."

"I had a lot to think about, Hakoda." She bit her lip. "I…" She stopped and shook her head. "I'm not sorry. It helped me work some things out."

Hakoda's eyebrow rose. "Anything you want to share? My evening is wide open if you want to—"

His eyes widened when she cupped his face with her hands and kissed him. It told him, far better than her words could have, what she had realized.

He kissed her in return, but he was so gentle, so careful, and she wondered how she had been able to deny her love for him for so long. She _wanted _to love him—she wanted this, and not out of the frantic desperation she had felt the first time they had kissed. She wanted to give as much to him as he had been giving her. She wanted to know love in a way that wasn't demanding, and she finally believed with her whole heart that Hakoda might be able to show her that.

Ursa's hands slipped underneath Hakoda's jacket and shirt, fingers moving over his muscled chest, to his stomach, then to the edge of his breeches. He drew back. "Ursa…" He held her chin in one hand, his thumb smoothing over her cheek.

She tugged on the drawstring of his breeches. "I'm not going to hate you tomorrow."

"You don't have to—"

She again covered his mouth with hers. She felt the shudder run through his body as she touched him, and his hands moved to untie the knot on her robes. The heat was spreading through her body and the ache for him was becoming almost unbearable. Then her robes slid off of her shoulders and she tugged at his clothing until there was nothing left between them.

She wrapped her arms around him as he slowly lowered her to her bed. He held himself up on his elbows over her, and he was looking at her in that way that only he ever had. He didn't grimace or shy away from her scarred, imperfect body. Her hands found a scar on his chest, and it struck her then more than ever before that as different as they were, they had some things that were very much the same.

Then he lowered himself down against her, and she lost all sense of anything except _him_. He made love to her the same way he did everything else—giving and caring, proving to her that he wasn't going to hurt her.

When they were done, twisted up in the blanket they had been lying on, he didn't pull away and leave her alone. He instead wrapped her in his arms and tugged the blanket over both of them, running his hand over her tangled hair.

Ursa settled her head slowly on his arm, her eyes seeking his, wondering if she would see regret there, or disgust, or something else for what he had just done with her.

His gaze met hers, and all it took was his smile to make her stomach unclench. She returned his smile and settled more comfortably against him. The only noise came from their breathing as it became slow and steady, and Ursa eventually drifted off to sleep with his arms still around her.


	18. Meeting with Generals

**A/N: **Thank you to ArrayePL, Angelfly06, Aristeia, FireChildSlytherin5, ayameko2TT3, things24, JFAPOI, AJ Rayne, TearofMist, Star, and Lance Murdock for reviewing!

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen - Meeting with Generals**

Hakoda was still there beside Ursa when she woke up in the morning. She was tucked against his body, warmer than she had been in any of her nights at the North Pole. She didn't move, knowing what a light sleeper he was and not wanting to wake him, and studied his sleeping face. She waited for panic to hit, waited to see if her perspective would look different in the light of morning, but she felt nothing except peace and a love unlike any she had ever experienced. She didn't even know how to explain it. She had thought that she had known love like this before, but only now did she realize that there had always been something missing.

Joy, she finally realized. Joy had always been missing.

_I don't know what this is going to mean for my future. I don't know what this is going to mean for Hakoda's future. And that's all right. I'm all right._

_I'm all right._

She shut her eyes, and it wasn't until Hakoda's fingers brushed her cheek that she opened them again. He was looking at her the same way she had looked at him the night before, afterward—as if he was checking to see if she had regrets. This time, it was her turn to smile reassurance at him. She pressed his hand against her cheek and whispered, "Thank you, Hakoda."

It didn't seem enough. How could she possibly convey the emotion behind everything she was feeling with words? She didn't know if she could ever explain to him what he had given her through the course of knowing him. He had helped her find things she had never thought to find again. Love. Faith. Trust. Even hope.

They lay in her bed, just talking, until Hakoda had to go to a meeting. As he dressed and prepared to walk out the door, she said, "Hakoda?"

He stopped and looked back at her.

"Will you come back tonight?"

His face creased into a smile and he nodded once. "Tonight," he promised.

The bed wasn't nearly as warm when he left, but it took Ursa a minute before she was willing to brave the cold air long enough to get dressed, and only then because she heard Mikko's voice calling her name from outside.

"Just a moment!" she called back. She dressed as quickly as she could, yanked on a heavy jacket, boots, and mittens, and then pushed through the cloth door.

Mikko was grinning at her, mischief in his eyes. "_So_," he began, holding out several wooden boomerangs toward her, "have an interesting night?"

Ursa fumbled with the boomerangs and dropped one. She quickly bent to pick it up. "What?"

Mikko just shook his head and beamed at her. "Thought so. Let's go. Boomerang practice."

There was soon no doubt that the Southern Water Tribe realized what had developed between Ursa and Hakoda. They were all very aware that Hakoda was spending his nights in Ursa's hut. It didn't change anything except for the sly looks and nudges she noticed the men giving each other or Hakoda.

It did, however, bring a conversation with Bato after he worked with her on defense against clubs, two days after Hakoda's sleeping arrangements had changed. Bato waited until the training was over, and as Ursa was preparing to head back to her hut, said, "Wait."

Ursa turned and faced him. He looked at her solemnly, and before he said anything, she knew what was coming. She had been expecting it. She might not have known Bato as well as she knew some of the others, but they had something in common. "Hakoda," she said simply.

Bato looked at her for a long moment. "Do you know what this means for him?"

Ursa folded her hands in front of her. "I think I do."

"I don't know how you see it, but I can tell you that for Hakoda, this means he is committed to you. He will never abandon you. No matter what you choose to do, he will never be unfaithful to you."

Ursa met Bato's gaze levelly. "I know." She did. Even if Hakoda had never said it in as many words, she knew. And it still amazed her how calm she was about it and how willing she was to reciprocate. It amazed her even more that out of all the men in the world, she had met one who had stood any chance of slipping through all of her defenses.

Bato continued to gaze at her, and finally nodded. "Hikaru and Ornu will meet you here in two hours for spear defense training."

That night, Ursa ate dinner with all of the Southern Water Tribe men in one of their guest huts, and Hakoda announced they would be leaving the North Pole soon.

"General Xu arrived from the Earth Kingdom this afternoon," Hakoda explained. "He brought some grave news. Omashu has fallen to the Fire Nation."

Ursa's eyes widened. "Oh, no…"

Hakoda nodded grimly. "That means the only major Earth Kingdom stronghold left is Ba Sing Se, unless the Earth Kingdom can somehow reclaim Omashu. Tomorrow, we'll discuss with General Xu what we can best do to help."

"Do we know what the situation with spies among the Earth Kingdom is now?" Pika asked.

"Xu says things have been quiet on that end. He brought confirmation that Admiral Zhao never returned from the North Pole and has been declared dead in the Fire Nation." Hakoda's eyes fell briefly on Ursa. "There are undoubtedly still spies among the Earth Kingdom, but the Earth Kingdom is far more aware of it, which makes it more difficult for the spies to operate without getting caught."

Pika nodded.

"Ursa, General Xu requested speaking with you and me first thing tomorrow morning," Hakoda told her.

Ursa had no idea why Xu would want to talk to her, and when she spoke to Hakoda alone that night in her hut as they lay next to each other, he didn't know, either. However, that wasn't the most pressing matter on Ursa's mind.

"I want to stay with you. With all of the Southern Tribe." Ursa rolled onto her side and faced him. "I know it's possible that you're going back to fighting battles, but I've been learning to fight, too. I know I'm not very good at it yet, and that at this point I know more about defending than attacking—but I can do this. I want to do this."

Hakoda leaned in and gave her a long, deep kiss. "I know."

And that was it. He didn't question or raise doubts, or tell her she wouldn't be safe, and she knew him well enough now to not be surprised.

She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his shoulder as words she had spoken to him long ago filled her mind.

_"I'm not incompetent, Hakoda. I know it may seem like I am from your perspective, because I keep ending up being chased or captured by firebenders_—_"_

_"I _know _you're not incompetent."_

Ursa pressed her fingers tightly against Hakoda's back. It was so clear now that any doubts of competency had been _hers_, never Hakoda's. Her guilt and frustrations over her past and her helplessness in various situations had made her question, always question, herself. It was so _liberating _to be able to step outside of that and really see her strengths in places she had thought herself weak, and to discover new strengths in her weaknesses.

And to discover that it was all right to lean on the strengths of others.

:-:-:-:-:

The next morning, Ursa and Hakoda met with General Xu on his ship, docked in one of the little harbors within the city. They joined him in a room with a desk, several chairs, and a Pai Sho table. He motioned them to sit at the Pai Sho table and then offered tea, which they graciously accepted.

"Lady Ursa," General Xu began as he sat across from her and looked at her earnestly, "You showed me a white lotus tile when you and Chief Hakoda were at my base."

"Yes," she said slowly, "but it wasn't mine. It belonged to a friend." _Misaki…I hope you're alive_. It seemed a lifetime ago that she had stumbled into Misaki's house and discovered her missing.

"I knew you were not part of the Order of the White Lotus when you asked me if I knew what the Pai Sho tile was," Xu said.

"General, what _is _the Order of the White Lotus?" Hakoda asked curiously.

"It's a secret society that encompasses all four nations. Members of the Order believe in the unity and peace of the nations, among many other things, and work toward that end," Xu explained. "There's a lot more to it, but there are many of us working around the world, including those from the Fire Nation, like Ran and Jeong Jeong. I've never had the pleasure of meeting Jeong Jeong, but as you know, I am acquainted with our young friend Ran."

"I get the feeling they're not the only ones from the Fire Nation you have met." Ursa gauged him carefully, trying to determine if he suspected that she was Fire Nation. She doubted that Ran had said anything of it, so as far as Xu should know, she was just another Earth Kingdom citizen.

Xu looked at her, expressionless, and didn't respond to that. "You have aided our country greatly, Lady Ursa. You've endured great loss and sacrificed much to help against the Fire Nation."

"I've done far less than many."

"You mentioned that your Pai Sho tile belonged to a friend." Xu paused and his voice was heavy when he said, "Misaki is my friend, as well."

Ursa stared at him. "I didn't tell you her name."

"You didn't need to. Not all members of the Order know each other, but Misaki and I have a history. I know what happened to your inn in Huang, and I know Misaki was the only member of the Order to live in Huang. She also," he added, "spoke very highly of you, and that is the only reason I am coming to you now. Lady Ursa, you have proven yourself among the Earth Kingdom. Chief Hakoda, you and your people have proven yourselves time and again. I don't know what the next months will hold for you, but I believe that Misaki would have taught you this in time, Lady Ursa, and I want both of you to know this." General Xu motioned to the Pai Sho table. "If you are ever in need of aid, this will identify you as a friend of the Order." He began setting tiles on the board in a specific pattern. "The tiles you use and the places you position them are very important, so watch closely."

Only when General Xu was sure that they had both learned the proper tiles and positioning did he end their meeting. "There are members of the Order everywhere. If you need them, I'm sure you'll be able to find them."

:-:-:-:-:

The Southern Water Tribe set sail for the Earth Kingdom the next day. Their first destination was General Fong's army base in the Earth Kingdom. It was the closest base to Omashu and if there was going to be any attempt to take Omashu back from the Fire Nation, it would be staged from there.

"I'm not sure what the full situation is," General Xu had told them. "I was already preparing to leave for the North Pole when I received the message that Omashu had fallen. I sent some of my men to General Fong's. Regardless, I know that the area around Omashu is going to be full of people trying to flee the Fire Nation. Whatever aid you can give, whether General Fong has a battle plan or whether you can be of assistance to the locals, would be most welcome."

Traveling with the Water Tribe was in some ways the same as before, and in other ways, very different. At night, Ursa couldn't stay next to Hakoda on the ship. It was too small and crowded for them to have their own space, especially with the addition of several waterbenders from the North Pole, so Hakoda was sleeping in his hammock and Ursa was back in her storage room.

Aside from her continued fighting lessons, Mikko decided she had done well enough on her boomerang training to continue on board. He'd brought a stack of wooden boomerangs with him, but she only lost two in the ocean. Out of everything she was learning, she found boomerang the easiest. She still made mistakes or didn't aim well enough—this was proven when she threw a boomerang across the water and it smacked into Pika as he stood on the deck of one of the other boats. She winced and called, "Sorry!" as he rubbed his head.

When they reached the shores of the Earth Kingdom near General Fong's army base, there was no good place to harbor their ships where they might not be noticed. Most of the men stayed behind to hold down the fort while Ursa and a few of the Water Tribe men made the trip inland to the base.

It took two days on foot to get there, and at night, Ursa slept next to Hakoda in his tent. She slept much better than she had since leaving the North Pole. It was just easier with him beside her, and she had fewer nightmares. She had come to understand that nights for him were as hard for her in some ways, as thoughts and worries for his children filled his mind and he ached with missing them so fiercely. She was the same way with her children, and though being together didn't take away the pain, it did ease it for both of them.

When they finally reached Fong's army base, Ursa peered around with curiosity. It was the third army base she had seen since leaving Huang, and it seemed to be in far more disarray than the other two, as though there had been some sort of recent mishap. An earthbender was in the process of repairing a building in the corner. There was rubble here and there around the courtyard and several other outbuildings were heaps of rock.

"General Fong."

At Hakoda's greeting, Ursa turned her attention on the man approaching them. He nodded at Hakoda and returned, "Chief Hakoda."

"What happened here? Were you attacked?" Hakoda asked, his gaze sweeping the courtyard.

General Fong paused a moment before answering, "The Avatar and his companions were here recently. We had some damage caused when we were attempting to assist the Avatar in getting in and out of his Avatar State."

"Attempting to…" Hakoda trailed off and glanced around at the remains of the rubble. "How? From what I've heard, it's not something he controls."

The way the men beside General Fong shifted uncomfortably told Ursa there was more to the story. She wanted to ask what an Earth Kingdom general would know about helping the Avatar master the Avatar State, but she kept quiet.

"We tried various methods, but none worked until we made the Avatar believe his companions were in genuine danger."

Hakoda froze at this and pinned his eyes on Fong. "You did _what_?"

"We were very successful," Fong said. "Except he left before we could figure out how to control him while he was in the Avatar State."

The men beside Fong looked at each other and again fidgeted, and Ursa stared at General Fong.

"When you say you made the Avatar believe his companions were in danger," Hakoda said slowly, "how did you do that?"

"I understand you may be concerned, as they are of your Tribe." Fong obviously didn't realize that the Avatar's companions were more than that to Hakoda. "But I assure you, Chief Hakoda, they came to no harm." It was all Fong said, and Hakoda did not look satisfied with the answer. "Our base, on the other hand, took a massive blow. We've repaired most of it. We would have been finished already, but we've been busy and most of my troops have been dispatched since we learned that Omashu has fallen."

There was a heavy silence as the Water Tribe exchanged glances, and then Bato finally asked, "What of Omashu? Do we know what's happening in the city? Is there any chance of retaking it right now?"

General Fong shook his head. "We heard from the Earth Kingdom resistance in Omashu. They all fled the city with the help of the Avatar and his friends. The number of Fire Nation soldiers was too great for them to handle. Not even the Avatar stayed. Right now, my forces are focusing on the towns around Omashu, as the Fire Nation's influence spreads in the area. Many are fleeing to Ba Sing Se, but there have been skirmishes between villagers and soldiers."

Hakoda nodded. "Where are we most needed?"

After further discussion with General Fong, they ate a meal and then left the army base and headed back toward the ships, which would be another two day journey. When they stopped for the night, Ursa lay beside Hakoda as he stared upward, lost in his thoughts, a small frown on his face.

"Are you all right?" she whispered.

Hakoda let out a long, slow breath and turned his head to look at her. "I'm thinking about Sokka and Katara."

"I expected as much."

"General Fong used them. He used them to trick the Avatar. Maybe they weren't hurt, but if one of our allies would go to such ends to try to get ahead in this war—" Hakoda stopped and shook his head. "I know I don't know much about the Avatar and how his abilities work, so maybe I shouldn't be speaking on the matter, but it doesn't seem that Fong's method was helpful to anyone. It's comforting, at least, to know that the Avatar values my children so much that he would stand against an army base to keep them safe." Hakoda paused, then added, "I know Sokka and Katara are strong and capable, and it seems they're growing more so with every story I hear about them."

"But you still worry." Ursa rested her hand on Hakoda's. "As any good father would." Thoughts of Ozai, Zuko, and Azula flashed through her mind. She bit her lip and turned her gaze toward the roof of the tent. Hakoda squeezed her hand, and she offered him a fleeting smile, but her mind was still very far away.

_We have to win this war. We have to defeat Ozai. Then maybe I'll get to see my children again. Will I even recognize what they've become?_

_Will they recognize what I've become?_


	19. Chameleon Bay

**A/N: **Thank you to FireChildSlytherin5, Avatar of Wurms, Meerkatgirl13, Aristeia, ayameko2TTe, ArrayePL, Angelfly06, JFAPOI, Obscure Stranger, Hatake Shiko, and Droaerion for reviewing!

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**Chapter Nineteen - Chameleon Bay**

When they arrived at the beach and met up with the rest of the Water Tribe, Hakoda held a meeting to explain their next goal. He spread a map out and pointed at a long inlet where they were currently harbored. "There are a lot of towns in the area, some along this inlet," he began. "Our next mission is going to be checking into the towns and seeing how much of a Fire Nation presence is there now. It's likely that the Fire Nation will be coming into this area, so we'll have to be careful." He paused, then added, "The fear is that the Fire Nation is going to turn their attention on Ba Sing Se, so we may very well find ourselves defending the city after we finish here. One step at a time, though."

They set sail, heading farther up the inlet. Notu was the one who approached Hakoda on the ship and said, "So. What _happened _at Fong's base that has all of you so unhappy?"

Hakoda rubbed his face. Two days, and he obviously wasn't the only one still bothered by their latest encounter with Fong. "Fong has some unorthodox methods."

"That's nothing new. We've been working with the guy for a long time now."

"Yes, but he never brought my kids into it before."

Notu's eyes narrowed. "Wait, what? Are Sokka and Katara—"

"They're fine, as far as the last news we got." Hakoda quickly filled him in on the recent disaster at Fong's base.

Notu, who had two young children of his own, nodded. "And I bet it took a lot not to turn into papa polar bear on Fong."

"I've known Sokka and Katara are facing a lot, but the idea that an Earth Kingdom general could do this really brought it home. Everyone's focused on the Avatar, and I understand why, but that also means everyone's focused on Sokka and Katara."

Notu squeezed his shoulder. "But you're proud of them."

"I am. More than I can say."

"They're going to be okay, Hakoda. Katara mastered waterbending fast enough to be the one teaching the Avatar. Sokka's always been smart as a whip and twice as creative. And we're going to keep doing everything we can to give the Avatar the time he needs to master the elements and win this war. One thing's for sure—when this is over, we're all going to have some crazy stories to tell our families."

The next weeks passed without any huge upheavals. The Water Tribe traveled along the inlet, sneaking into villages to see what the situation was. They found that some of the villages hadn't yet been touched by the Fire Nation, and they made sure the villagers knew of the situation. Some hadn't even heard yet that Omashu had fallen. There were other villages were there was a Fire Nation presence.

They received a few messages from the Earth Kingdom. Some kept them updated on current Fire Nation positions. One informed them that the Avatar was said to have found an earthbending teacher. This gave them all hope that the Avatar could now learn earthbending and then find a way to learn firebending. Another message said that the Firelord's daughter and several companions were personally pursuing the Avatar.

Ursa froze when she heard this last message, and her face shifted into that carefully blank expression that only came when she was feeling strongly about something and trying to hide it. Hakoda had seen it enough to recognize it, though it had been a while since she'd closed herself off about anything. He asked her about it later when he had a chance to talk to her alone.

"You didn't look pleased with the news about the Firelord's daughter."

Ursa was quiet for a moment before speaking. "Azula." There was a weighty pause, and her voice was equally heavy when she said, "She was only a little girl when I left. Even so…she was a very talented firebender. I imagine she's only improved her abilities."

And she would be putting those abilities to work against the Avatar and Hakoda's children. Hakoda squeezed Ursa's shoulder. "It's going to be okay."

She looked at him for a long moment, her mouth pressed in a thin line. She seemed unhappy and he thought she might retort with something, but she finally just sighed and said, "I hope so."

Ursa had come so far in the past weeks. Something in her had broken at the North Pole—something good, something that had needed to break away so she could live without the weight of awful guilt she had been carrying around for so long. She was still as stubborn as ever, but she had a genuine self-assurance and Hakoda was glad for it. Her smiles and laughter had increased, and her nightmares had decreased. When they were sleeping on the ship, she only came up onto the deck because of a nightmare every once in a while. She was continuing to find ways to beat the men in their games, and slowly beginning to tease them when they teased her, instead of just taking their jokes. She was also improving on her defense and attack skills, and she said the boomerang was her favorite.

"That's because _I'm _teaching you," Mikko said with a grin, and the other men groaned and rolled their eyes.

Despite the war and the constant threat of danger, Hakoda was happier than he had been in a long time, and he knew Ursa was, as well.

After doing as much as they could and gathering as much intelligence as possible to pass along to the Earth Kingdom army, the Water Tribe sailed out of the inlet.

"If we wait any longer, we'll get cornered in here by Fire Nation ships," Bato pointed out, and Hakoda agreed. The Fire Nation was moving into the inlet as they had suspected they would. Twice already, the Water Tribe had gotten into skirmishes with Fire Nation ships, but the Water Tribe's skills—not to mention the new help of the waterbenders—meant that they got away safely each time.

Aside from that, they received another message from the Earth Kingdom, this one informing them that the Fire Nation was moving on Ba Sing Se. "They tried to use a drill on the wall of Ba Sing Se, but were stopped. We're being asked to go to Chameleon Bay and protect it, as the Fire Nation could use it to get to the city," Hakoda explained to everyone after reading the message. "We'll probably be there for a while."

When they left the inlet, they didn't leave alone. They had received word that refugees from around the Earth Kingdom were making their way to Full Moon Bay, where they would get safe passage to Ba Sing Se. Hakoda and his men had come across several families trying to make their way to the bay, and had taken them on board to bring them to Full Moon Bay on their way to Chameleon Bay.

It was strange to have families on board the ships. Hakoda's boat had parents with three little kids on board, and it turned out that they knew Ursa.

"You were that innkeeper! In Huang!" the father exclaimed when he saw her.

"I remember you," Ursa said. "It's a very good thing you left when you did. You were my last guests before the Fire Nation came and burned down my inn."

"I didn't know you were from the Water Tribe," the man said as he took in her blue clothes.

Ursa shook her head. "I'm not."

"Sorry, Ursa," Mikko spoke up from where he was winding up a length of rope, "but you're stuck being an honorary member of the Water Tribe now."

Ursa stared at him for a moment, and then smiled.

Though the parents did a very good job of keeping their children from getting into mischief on the boat, it was difficult for them to sit still, but none of the men minded. If anything, it bolstered their spirits to see the little ones laughing and playing, and the men and Ursa helped come up with games to keep them entertained on their voyage.

After dropping their passengers off, the Water Tribe continued on toward Chameleon Bay. The remainder of the journey was mostly uneventful. The only event of significance happened on one gray, rainy day, when Hakoda heard Notu shouting and looked up through the downpour to see a huge animal flying overhead. He stared at it in astonishment, knowing that it had to be the sky bison that belonged to Avatar Aang.

His heart stuck in his throat as he watched it grow small in the distance. Had his children just passed right over him?

Ursa stepped up next to him and squeezed his hand, gazing in the direction the sky bison was flying. A smile settled on Hakoda's face as the sky bison disappeared from sight. _Be well, _he thought.

When they reached Chameleon Bay, the first two days were spent carefully mapping out the entire area, finding the places that were most vulnerable. They plotted the best ways to prevent Fire Nation ships from entering the area, deciding which traps to use and what tactics to employ. They set up camp on the shore, and then scouted the land, as their maps showed two villages within ten miles of the bay. Hakoda sent two groups to check on the villages and to find out what they could about the region. When they came back, they reported that so far, there was no Fire Nation presence in the towns.

"Good. We can restock on some supplies while we're here," Hakoda said. "In the meantime, we're going to set up watch points here, here, and here." He pointed at his map. "That should give us warning if Fire Nation comes at us from the sea. If they come through the land, it'll be trickier for them to have a good vantage point, but this would be the most likely place they would come from." He motioned to another part of the map. "So we'll keep an eye on that. Settle in men—and lady—we'll be here for a while."

:-:-:-:-:

"Tamoru, you're going into town for supplies?"

Tamoru stopped and turned to Ursa. "Sure am. Anything you need while we're there?"

"Only a few things, if you wouldn't mind checking for them." Ursa held out her small list.

Tamoru took it and glanced through it. "Shouldn't be a problem." He smiled at her and then headed off with the few other men who were going to the nearest village to restock on a few essentials. Ursa watched them disappear, and then turned back toward the camp. Hakoda, Bato, and some of the others had been in the large tent, probably doing military planning, since she had woken up. In the week since they had been at Chameleon Bay, everything had been quiet on the battle frontier. There had been no appearances yet by the Fire Nation, but it was only a matter of time before they realized they could use Chameleon Bay to get to Ba Sing Se.

As Ursa waited for the meeting to finish and for the men to come back from town, she worked with Hikaru and Ornu on defense and attack. Then she practiced aiming and catching with one of the wooden boomerangs on her own, since Mikko had gone to town and wasn't there to harp on her about her form and her accuracy.

When Hakoda and the other men emerged from the tent, she tucked the wooden boomerang into her belt and walked over to them.

Hakoda waved at her. "Oh, good. You can help set traps."

Ursa wrinkled her nose. "With those horrible tangle mines you've been working on?"

"The Stink and Sink plan is being put into effect," Hakoda said proudly.

Bato rolled his eyes and Ursa completely agreed with the sentiment behind the gesture. "You know," she said as she walked with Hakoda toward his boat, "I didn't think you could find anything the smelled worse than your algae blubber ointment." She glanced at the row of tangle mine traps lined up along the port side of the boat. "I almost feel sorry for the people who encounter those things."

Despite most of the smell being trapped inside of the containers, some of it had gotten on the outside of them, so it was impossible to avoid the stench completely. Ursa tied a cloth around the lower part of her face so she wouldn't gag on the whiffs that she got while helping place the traps in the water.

By the time they were done with their first round of trap-setting, the men who had gone into town were back. Tamoru had found all of the supplies Ursa had asked for, and she took them and thanked him.

"Hey, Ursa!" Mikko called as he jogged over to her. "I've got something for you." He dug into his bag and pulled out a sheath with a boomerang tucked into it. "Here." He pressed it into her hands.

"This is…mine?"

"Sure is. You're ready for a metal boomerang; I'm not worried you'll lose it in the ocean anymore. I took it into town today and asked one of the craftsmen there to put a symbol on the handle there. See?" He pointed at the handle of the boomerang. "We already have the mark of the Water Tribe on our weapons, right there. On this side, I had him put—"

"The symbol of the Fire Nation," Ursa whispered.

"I hope you don't think it's weird. I just—you know, Ursa, you're our reminder that there are things in the Fire Nation that we can be proud of. You're part of us now, too, but you're Fire Nation and your weapon should reflect who you are."

Ursa's throat was thick and she swallowed, trying to find words. Finally, she gave Mikko a quick hug and whispered, "Thank you."

He waved her off, but he was grinning and he looked pleased. "Come on. Let's see what you can do with it."

The weight of the metal in her hands was different than the wooden boomerangs she had been practicing with, and it took a few throws to grasp the difference, but once she did, Ursa found she liked the metal boomerangs much better.

:-:-:-:-:

The next night, using the items Tamoru had bought in town, Ursa told the Water Tribe it was her turn to make dinner, and she prepared a stew. "It's a little different," she said, "but I had a lot of practice finding the best way to make this during my time in the Earth Kingdom. This is a traditional Fire Nation dish. As close to it as I can get in the Earth Kingdom, anyway. It's a bit spicy." She felt she should add the warning; in all of the Water Tribe dishes she had eaten, there had never been much spice. The same went for most Earth Kingdom dishes, but Water Tribe foods tended to be much milder.

"I think we can handle spicy," Notu said as bowls of stew were passed around.

Ursa took her bowl and watched as the men began to eat. She saw eye-widening, heard several gasps, and laughed when Notu reached for his drink as his eyes watered. "Hot!" he gasped as he drank.

"I warned you." Ursa calmly took a bite of her stew.

"Your taste buds must have been burned off a long time ago," Hakoda told her. His eyes were watery, too, and he paused between bites of food to drink water. "It _is _hot, but it's really good."

"Better than stewed sea prunes," Ursa said as she took another bite.

They were halfway through eating—or in some cases, alternating eating and drinking copious amounts of water—when a shout went up from the edge of camp. "Hakoda! There's a Fire Nation ship incoming! Looks like it might be a scout."

It was Hikaru, who had been on duty at one of their designated watch points. "I can see it from the bluff. It was about to hit the tangle mines," Hikaru explained as he came to a stop in the middle of the camp.

The men were already moving toward their boats, the remains of supper abandoned on the ground. Ursa went to Hakoda's ship. Hakoda glanced at her as she walked on board, then nodded and called out orders. Within minutes, the Water Tribe boats were gliding across the bay toward the Fire Nation ship. If the traps worked correctly, the Fire Nation ship should have been dealt some damage from the explosion of the mines. They would have been forced to stop because of seaweed jamming up their propellers, and the stink would be overwhelming the people on board.

Sure enough, the Fire Nation ship was at a dead stop in the water, and there were several figures flailing around in the ocean. At least one faint voice could be heard yelling about the smell. The Water Tribe boats came to a stop before they reached their line of mines. A few warriors with boomerangs moved to the bow of the ships and began throwing their weapons, picking off the Fire Nation soldiers standing on deck. Ursa joined them, reaching for her brand new boomerang and eyeing a soldier clinging to the side of the Fire Nation ship. He was swinging his hand around toward the Water Tribe boats, and a jet of fire began to stream from his fingers.

While one of the waterbenders quickly raised a stream of water to quell the flames that tried to ignite the Water Tribe ship, Ursa released her boomerang and watched as it circled around and slammed into the firebender's head. He dropped into the water and she caught the boomerang as it came back to her.

The battle ended quickly; with only one Fire Nation ship, there really wasn't any contest. The soldiers that escaped had to do so by swimming back out and around until they could find a shore to climb out on, as the area where their boat had entered was surrounded by cliff walls. The ship itself retreated; someone must have cleared out the propellers enough to get minimal motion, and it limped away from the bay.

Hakoda congratulated his men on a job well done, and then looked at Ursa. "And nice job with the boomerang."

Ursa patted the boomerang tucked back into the sheath on her back and caught Mikko's eye. "I've had a good teacher."

"Tomorrow we'll get to work making more tangle mines," Hakoda said to all of them. "We're going to need them."

That night, as Ursa was tucked up against Hakoda in his tent, she whispered, "Thank you for not coddling me."

"Are you kidding? If I tried to coddle you, I'd probably have your boomerang aimed at my head." Hakoda laughed softly. "Those are words I never would have thought I'd say when I first met you." In a more serious voice, he said, "I trust your judgment, Ursa. If I ever tell you to stay out of a battle, it won't be because I doubt your capabilities—it will be because it's best for the strategy and the mission."

Ursa shifted onto her back, her neck resting on Hakoda's arm. "I know."


	20. Battles

**A/N: **Thank you to Meerkatgirl13, Hatake Shiko, Aristeia, FireChildSlytherin5, ArrayePL, Star, Obscure Stranger, ayameko2TTe, fifth11, and JFAPOI for reviewing. :)

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**Chapter Twenty – Battles**

Hakoda woke the moment Ursa started moving around in her sleep. He reached over and touched her shoulder, quietly calling her name until she woke with a gasp and jerked upright. Her fingers landed on her boomerang, which she now kept next to her pillow, before she seemed to realize where she was. Her hand moved away from her weapon and she hugged her knees to her chest.

Hakoda propped himself on one elbow and rested a hand on her back. Ursa took a deep breath. "I'm all right." She sat still for a few moments, and then slowly lay back down.

Hakoda didn't expect her to say anything else about it. She never wanted to talk about her nightmares.

To his surprise, however, this time she apparently did want to talk about it. "It wasn't a memory," she said quietly. "Usually, I dream of my memories. This was just a plain bad dream." Her eyes slid over to his. "Would it be odd if I sad that it was awful, but almost refreshing?"

"Maybe. But I understand."

Silence fell again for long enough that Hakoda figured Ursa would just go back to sleep, but then she said, "My former husband had a brother." She stared up at the tent roof, no longer meeting his eyes.

"You've mentioned him, haven't you? You said your daughter burned a gift given to her by her uncle."

"Yes. He was…different than my husband. He had one child of his own—the only person he had left after his wife died. Just before I left the Fire Nation, we received word that his son had died in the war. His son was a good man, Hakoda. I know he was fighting on the Fire Nation's side, but he was a very honorable man." Another heavy pause, and then she said, "I dreamed of my nephew and my children. They were all dying…horrible deaths…and I couldn't stop it."

Hakoda reached out and took her hand, and she squeezed it. "I don't even know what they look like anymore. In my dreams, in my nightmares—sometimes I see them at the age I remember them when I left, and sometimes they're older and in shadow so I can't see their faces." She finally turned back to him. "I wish I knew what they looked like."

It was the last thing she said before she fell back asleep. Hakoda was still trying to get back to sleep when the warning shout went out from Pika. It woke Ursa again and she followed Hakoda out of the tent.

"More Fire Nation ships incoming! Three of them this time," Pika explained as he ran up to Hakoda.

"Position?" After the first Fire Nation patrol ship had fled, the Water Tribe had continued to work on extending their array of traps. The way it was set up now, they had several areas of tangle mines that any incoming Fire Nation ships would have to get through, and the first ones began as far out of the bay as they could manage and still maintain control over the sections they blocked. Hakoda had commissioned two of the lifeboats kept on their ships to be used as scout ships, so the men were alternating who rowed out to keep watch on the farthest areas.

"They hadn't even hit the first set of mines," Pika said.

The next while was a rush of preparing for battle and setting sail to wait at the closest of their tangle mine traps. Finally, a Fire Nation ship came into sight. Hakoda wasn't sure where the other two ships were; it was likely they had been stalled by the tangle mines. It hit their last row of mines, but it managed to get right up between Bato and Hakoda's boats before the seaweed stalled the propeller. The Fire Nation soldiers then threw hooks to hold their vessel to the Water Tribe ships, and lowering ramps into place so they could jump onto the Water Tribe boats.

Hakoda's deck became one huge blur of flashing weapons and fire. Hakoda focused on one soldier at a time, one moment at a time, fighting side-to-side or back-to-back with his men, driving the soldiers off of the boat. He got a glimpse of Ursa with her boomerang, but she was in such close quarters with the soldiers that she had no room to throw it, so she was using it for close combat. He couldn't focus on her, though; he had to hope that all of her hand-to-hand training would keep her alive, had to trust that the other men nearer to her were watching her back as she watched theirs.

Soon the battle was over; the Fire Nation was overtaken and the ship retreated back the way they had come, taking some injured soldiers with them. There was one dead Fire Nation soldier lying on Hakoda's deck, a spear sticking out of him. He was young. So very young. Hakoda stared at his body for a long moment, Ursa's words about her honorable nephew running through his mind, blending together with images of Sokka. This man was somebody's son, somebody's nephew, somebody's grandchild.

War never got easier. Hakoda clenched his jaw and turned away from the body as Notu called sharply, "Hakoda!"

Hakoda immediately saw that the Fire Nation wasn't the only one to have suffered harm. Mikko was lying on the deck. Ursa and Notu were kneeling beside him, both of them bloody, but he couldn't tell if it was their blood or Mikko's. Ursa had her hands pressed against Mikko's upper right chest, which was soaked red. Mikko was conscious, but his eyes were half-closed and he looked dazed.

"What happened?" Hakoda dropped down beside Notu.

"Sword," Ursa said. Her voice was brusque, but her eyes were terrified.

"Ornu, bandages!" He glanced at Okonu, one of the three waterbenders who had accompanied them from the North Pole. Now would have been the perfect time to have a waterbending healer around, but he knew that none of the waterbenders with them could heal. He had learned while at the North Pole that only some powerful waterbenders were gifted with healing abilities, and more women had the gift than men. "Okonu, if you can waterbend us back to shore as quickly as possible—"

Okonu nodded. "On it, Chief."

Hakoda's boat jerked into motion so fast he almost fell over, and he, Notu, and Ursa grabbed onto Mikko to keep him from sliding across the deck. While they moved to shore, Ursa moved her hands away from Mikko's shoulder and they peeled his clothing away from it.

"The wound goes all the way through him." Ursa grabbed a bandage from Ornu as he arrived with an armful. They turned Mikko enough to get the bandage under him, where he was bleeding out from his back.

"Ursa, you're bleeding, too." Ornu pointed and Hakoda saw that some of the blood on her _was _hers; the side of her clothes, right along her ribcage, was torn and he could see a gash.

"It's just a scratch. I'll take care of it later. Mikko got the full brunt of it." Ursa brushed her hair out of her face with the back of her hands, smearing blood on it, as Hakoda pressed another bandage to the wound in Mikko's chest. "One of the soldiers was about to stab him from behind. I didn't see him until it was too late. I tried to stop the soldier, but his sword cut me and Mikko still got stabbed."

"I saw it," Ornu said. "If you hadn't gotten in the soldier's way, Mikko would be dead, Ursa; the sword would have gone straight through his heart."

The very edges of the horizon were lightening with the sunrise when Hakoda's ship reached the shore. It was followed swiftly by two of the other ships; Pika had taken his boat after the Fire Nation ship to make sure they really did retreat.

The aftermath of the battle was as rushed and focused as the battle had been. As some of the men swarmed over Hakoda and Bato's boats, checking on the damage and beginning to make repairs, Hakoda and Notu determined that they were going to need help with Mikko. "We've stopped some of the bleeding, but he needs a healer. We need to get him into town," Notu said. "I'll take him."

"I'll help," Tamoru spoke up.

"I'm going, too." Ursa sat back on her heels, her eyes fixed on Mikko's face.

Ornu motioned to Ursa. "You need a bandage first."

While Notu and Tamoru hurried to get a tarp to transport Mikko into town, Ursa stood and allowed Ornu to patch up the cut on her ribs. She stared between her bloody hands and Mikko.

Hakoda put a hand on her shoulder. "We're getting him help."

Ursa looked at him. Her face was almost as pale as Mikko's, and her eyes were burning. "I know."

She spoke calmly—almost too calmly. Her voice was tight and controlled, and so were her movements as she turned and walked through the men to the edge of the ocean. She scrubbed her hands in the water, and when she came back over, Notu and Tamoru had a tarp lying flat on the ground and were carefully lifting Mikko onto it. Mikko was unconscious now, and blood was still seeping into his bandages.

"We'll bring back word on Mikko," Tamoru said as he picked up one side of the tarp and Notu grabbed the other side.

It wasn't until Tamoru, Notu, and Ursa had disappeared with Mikko that Hakoda allowed himself a deep breath. He didn't have time to fear, didn't have time to think about what might happen if Mikko didn't come back. Didn't have time to think about what would have happened if Ursa had gotten more than a small gash. There was too much that had to be done. They would need to start making new tangle mines. They would need to reset traps, fix any damage to the boats, prepare for another possible assault. They would need some more supplies from town. Their supply of skunkfish was running low, so they would need to fish for more.

Hakoda quickly began to call out orders, asking a couple of the men to take care of the dead Fire Nation soldier, sending some of the men to town for supplies, setting the waterbenders to take care of the fishing since they could find and pull the skunkfish out of the water the fastest, having others do boat repairs, and getting some to began putting seaweed into the tangle mines they had in reserve.

Pika's ship returned, and Pika informed him that the Fire Nation was definitely retreating. Hakoda sent lookouts back out on two of the lifeboats, and then got to work helping with the tasks that needed to be done.

There was a dark silence in their midst; none of the usual jokes and lightheartedness filled the air as they moved as quickly as possible to repair their defenses. As they waited to hear if Mikko was going to pull through.

Damage to the boats was minimal. There was a hole on Hakoda's boat that needed repairing where one of the hooks had dug into the wood, but that was easily fixed. Bato's boat had obtained some fire damage, but thanks to the waterbenders, it was nothing detrimental.

It was several hours before Notu returned from town. He looked around at them with a huge smile on his face, and Hakoda's insides crumbled in relief even before he said, "Mikko's going to make it."

Notu's declaration was met with cheers.

"The healer says the sword missed anything vital, but he needs to stay put for at least a few days, and when he does come back, he's not supposed to do anything until he's healed, which will probably be weeks."

As the warriors got back to their tasks, this time very cheerfully, calling jokes back and forth to each other, Notu approached Hakoda. "Tamoru's helping the people you sent into town and then he'll be back. Ursa said to tell you she's staying at the healer's with Mikko until he can return."

Hakoda let out a long, slow breath. "Thanks, Notu."

Notu nodded once. "Where do you need me?"

They worked through until mid-afternoon, when all they had left to do was keep preparing tangle mines. Those who had gone to town returned with supplies. While a couple of the men started a couple of stews going, Hakoda, Bato, and some of the others met in the large tent.

"Am I the only one who thinks something about these attacks seems too easy?" Bato asked. "They sent one scout ship the first time; if they really wanted to take the bay, why would they only send three the next time? Or if two of their ships were disabled right away, why would one continue?"

"Maybe most of their forces are still focused on the area around Omashu and they don't have extra ships to send," Pika suggested. "Maybe they weren't expecting so many traps this time, since we _did _set up mines in a lot of new areas. Or maybe they're still testing our defenses?"

"If so, it was a costly test for them," Hakoda said. He eyed the large world map on the ground in the middle of the tent. There was still the possibility that the Fire Nation would try to come from land, but so far there hadn't been a hint of soldiers near the only part of the land that would be possible to bring people through unnoticed. Chameleon Bay was really the perfect point to protect—one way in by sea, one good way in by land. Any other way they came in by land, they would be slow and they would be seen before they could get very far.

Everything was as sound as Hakoda could make it, but Bato still seemed uneasy and Hakoda couldn't dismiss Bato's instincts. He frowned at the map, his eyes locked on Chameleon Bay as his mind traced over the now-familiar landscape, the cliffs and hills, wondering if there was something else he should be seeing, something he was missing.

Bato nudged him, and Hakoda finally looked up to see someone else had entered the tent. His mouth dropped open and then a smile spread across his face as he met his son's eyes. Two years. Two years and the boy he had left in the South Pole had grown into a young man, and he was _safe _and right _there _in front of him. Hakoda had a hard time swallowing, but he finally found his voice.

"Sokka."

:-:-:-:-:

The healer's hut was quiet and smelled of all the herbs that were drying as they hung in bunches from the ceiling. Ursa sat in a chair beside the cot where Mikko was stretched out, sleeping because of the herbs the healer, Yumi, had given him. His face had more color than when Notu and Tamoru had first carried him inside. Ursa knew Yumi had said he would be all right, knew the bleeding had been stopped, but part of her still feared Mikko would take a turn for the worse. The thing to watch for now would be infection, but as long as the wound was cared for properly, it shouldn't set in.

Ursa bit her lip as Mikko mumbled something in his sleep, his face creasing momentarily before smoothing out again. She didn't know if he was dreaming or in pain, but he had been out for hours and he kept stirring around and muttering.

"You should rest."

Ursa jerked in the chair, not having heard anyone come in, and swiveled to face Tamoru. She relaxed as he walked over and handed her a bag.

"Some of your stuff, since you'll be here for a few of days."

"Thank you." Ursa set the bag on the ground. "How are things back at camp?"

"Very exciting," Tamoru said. "Hakoda's son arrived from Ba Sing Se."

Ursa straightened and looked at Tamoru, wide-eyed. "Sokka's there?"

"Looks like he'll be sticking around for a while. There's been a lot going on in Ba Sing Se, and of course the Avatar has been in the middle of it." Tamoru smiled. "I'm sure you'll get a chance to meet him when you and Mikko come back."

Ursa stared at Tamoru. As much as she wanted to meet Hakoda's son, she had to wonder what Sokka's reaction to meeting _her _would be—but that was still at least a few days away. Her gaze shifted back toward Mikko.

"Ursa, are you okay?"

Ursa's nod was automatic. "My cut is fine."

"That's not what I meant." Tamoru crouched beside her chair, and Ursa glanced over at him. "You did well, you know."

"I didn't keep Mikko from getting stabbed."

"From what I hear, you got in the way enough that it kept it from being a fatal blow. So stop thinking you could have done more and be glad you did what you could. _We _are."

Ursa nodded again as she looked back at Mikko. More than any of the Water Tribe men, he had become like a brother to her—or what she imagined a brother would be like, with all his picking and chiding. The Water Tribe had become the closest thing to a real family she had ever had, and this just brought home to her that not all of them might survive this war. She had known it, of course, but this was the nearest she had come to almost seeing it happen. It was such a painful thought, not one she wanted to face, but one that she couldn't avoid. She kept thinking of Mikko's worn portrait of his little daughter Halla, of his stories of his wife, and how his family was waiting and hoping for a safe return. How all of their families were waiting and wondering…

"Here." Tamoru pressed a few coins into her hand. "Go get something to eat. Yumi told me you haven't eaten a bite since you got here, which means you haven't eaten since yesterday. There's a shop three buildings down. I'll keep an eye on Mikko until you get back, and then I'll head back to camp."

Ursa hesitated, but Tamoru took her hand and tugged her out of her chair. "That wasn't a suggestion, Ursa. Go get some food."

She gave him a look that was half-exasperated, half-resigned, but Tamoru just raised an eyebrow and jerked his thumb toward the door.

Ursa found the shop quickly, and her hunger finally hit when she saw all the breads and fruits. She exchanged her coins for a loaf of bread and some appleberries, and as she turned to head back to the healing hut, she caught sight of the wanted posters stuck to the side of the shop.

It was one particular poster that caught her eye, and she was so stunned that she almost dropped her food. For several heartbeats, all she could do was stare at Iroh's familiar face—and at the almost familiar, but very different face of the young man on the poster. Everything around her faded to background noise as a strange dizziness swept over her. She reached for the poster with a trembling hand and tugged it off the wall.

Iroh and Zuko. Zuko. Traitors of the Fire Nation. The words were there, screaming silently at her, but her eyes were focused on Zuko's face, on the scar that marred the left side of it. _Zuko. Zuko. What happened to you? What happened?_

What had they done? What had Iroh and Zuko done that they would be traitors of the Fire Nation now? What was going on?

"Hey, are you okay?" the shop's owner asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I…don't understand." Ursa's fingers clenched around the poster. "Why…"

"Is that the wanted poster of the Firelord's kin? Eh, you weren't the first to be surprised by _that_," the shop owner said. "No wonder we've got such a messed up war going on, with such a messed up family running the Fire Nation!"

Ursa gathered herself together enough that her voice was steady when she asked, "Do you know what they did to become traitors of the Fire Nation?"

"Those two? No, but I heard that the Firelord's son has had it coming for a while. Word is his own father burned and disowned him."

_His father burned him. Ozai burned him? Why? Why?_

Ursa felt as though the world was dropping out from underneath her. Ozai's words from long ago, words that haunted her nightmares, rang clearly through her mind. _"I've no reason to harm Zuko if you carry through your proposal, do I, Ursa? This is my bargain. I will keep my promise not to kill either child if I am Firelord."_

Nausea swelled in Ursa's stomach and for one horrifying moment, she thought she was going to throw up. Ozai had obviously found reason to harm Zuko. He might not have killed him, but this…

_Zuko_.

_He's with Iroh, _she told herself as she fought for calm, fought to keep steady. _Whatever mess they're in, they're in it together. _

When the shop owner turned around, Ursa stuffed the wanted poster into her pocket. She walked back to the healing hut, still dazed, the bread and appleberries clutched in one hand. She could hardly speak when she sat back down at Mikko's side and Tamoru left, telling her someone would be back to check up on her and Mikko the next day.

Ursa choked down some bread and fruit without really tasting them. When Yumi came in to check on Mikko, Ursa barely heard the healer tell her that she should get some rest, too. The sun was going down, and Yumi lit a lantern. She told Ursa she could put it out when she was ready to go to sleep and pointed out a spare cot with a curtain separating it from Mikko's bed.

"My room is right in the back of the hut, so you get me if you or your friend needs anything," the healer said.

Ursa took a moment to go behind the curtain and changed into a spare set of clothing that Tamoru had packed into her bag, and re-bandaged the cut along her ribs. She looked at the gash in the side of the clothes she had just taken off and at the blood staining the area before she carefully folded up the dirty clothes and put them into the bag. She carried the wanted poster of Iroh and Zuko with her back around the curtain, gazing at it as she again sat in the chair beside Mikko's bed.

Her fingers brushed over Zuko's face. He had grown into a handsome young man, scar notwithstanding. Even in the drawing, she could see the face of the child he had been and how much it had changed. Her vision grew blurry and several tears fell from her eyes onto the paper. She quickly wiped her face and blotted the water on the paper with her sleeve.

"What's that?"

Mikko's voice broke the sudden silence. Ursa jumped and her head jerked up. Mikko was watching her, blinking in mild confusion, but there was concern in his eyes as he peered at her.

"Mikko!" Relief rang through her voice. "Oh, this…it's nothing." Ursa shoved the poster into her pocket.

"Mmhmm." Mikko wasn't convinced, but didn't push. "Where are we?"

"At the healing hut in one of the towns." Ursa scooted to the edge of the chair and reached out to clasp Mikko's hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got stabbed with a long, pointy sword."

Ursa grimaced.

"That was a joke."

"Haha."

"I'm an injured man, Ursa. You're supposed to laugh convincingly at my jokes. Hey, do you have any water?"

After getting Mikko something to drink and helping prop him up enough to drink it, he lay back down and looked at her expectantly, his eyes much clearer. "I was fighting, and then the next thing I knew there's this sword sticking out of my chest."

Ursa swallowed back words she wanted to say—apologies for not watching his back as well as she should have, for not being fast enough or adept enough, but she silenced that part of her that was so used to taking blame for things that she couldn't help. "It could have been much worse."

"Oh, believe me, I know. So…who stuck you with babysitting duty?"

"I'm not stuck with anything. I'm just going to stay here to make sure you don't try to escape and make yourself worse. You're going to have to stay put for a few days, I'm afraid, and it will be quite a while before you're fit for battle."

"Ah, that figures. I hope you brought some cards."

Mikko wasn't awake for very long; either he was just exhausted from his injury or the herb the healer had given him hadn't completely worn off. Once he was sleeping again, Ursa finally decided to try to rest, too. She was weary down to her very bones, but she wasn't sure she would be able to sleep after the day she'd had. She blew out the lantern and opened the curtain so she could keep an eye on Mikko during the night. It reminded her a little of times she had stayed near her children and watched out for them during nights they were sick. Or the time, a year back, when Misaki had fallen ill in Huang and Ursa had spent the night at her house caring for her.

She took the poster of Zuko and Iroh out again, though in the darkness she could barely make out the lines of their faces. _After all this time…after everything, Zuko…did I only postpone danger for you? All I wanted was for you and your sister to be safe. All I wanted was to protect you. Stay safe, my son. Please stay safe._


	21. Between Enemy Fire

**A/N: **Thank you to Angelfly06, things24, Meerkatgirl13, FireChildSlytherin5, Lance Murdock, Aristeia, fifth11, Kimjuni2, ayameko2TTe, JFAPOI, Obscure Stranger, ArrayePL, Avatar of Wurms, and Sirithdiliel for reviewing!

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One - Between Enemy Fire**

As night fell on the shore of Chameleon Bay, Hakoda sat next to a campfire with Sokka and listened to his stories of the past months. The bits Hakoda had heard from Earth Kingdom messages and from Arnook and others at the North Pole started to get filled in. He heard of Katara's talent as a healer and waterbender, of Avatar Aang's stubborn earthbending teacher Toph, of Aang, even of Appa and Momo, the two animal companions who traveled with the group.

"Katara wanted to come," Sokka said, "but the Earth King needed one of us to stay and help with our invasion plan. I'll tell you all about that, too. You'd be really proud of Katara, Dad."

"I _am_ proud—of both of you." Hakoda clasped Sokka's shoulder, and then his attention was caught as Tamoru came into camp.

Tamoru made his way over to Hakoda and Sokka, and smiled at them before saying, "Everything's fine in town, Hakoda. Mikko was still out of it when I left, but he's stable."

Sokka straightened. "What happened to Mikko?"

"He was stabbed in a battle this morning," Hakoda explained, "but he's going to be all right." He asked Tamoru, "Ursa?"

"Worried," Tamoru replied. "You know how she gets. Hopefully _she _gets some rest tonight."

Now Sokka just looked confused. "Who's Ursa?"

Tamoru and Hakoda exchanged glances, and Hakoda considered how much to tell Sokka straightaway. He wouldn't lie to him, but he thought it might be better to introduce Sokka to Ursa before dropping "the Fire Nation woman who's sharing my tent" on him.

"She's a woman who joined us a while back. She started out working with us on uncovering Fire Nation spies—she has a talent for that," Hakoda said. "She lost her home and joined us in our fight."

One of Sokka's eyebrows rose and he seemed to consider this information. Then he shrugged and held up his hands. "Hey, if you're expecting me to say something about traveling with a woman, you're looking at the wrong guy. I have women who would hit me with rocks or fans or giant chunks of ice if I made any complaints about girls in battle. Trust me."

As horrible and jarring as the day had started out, it ended on the best note that Hakoda could have hoped for. All of his people were alive, and Sokka's visit put them all in the best spirits. Though Sokka hadn't been to the South Pole since before Winter Solstice, he had still been there far more recently than any of the men, and so he was able to tell them stories of their families and answer a lot of questions about them. Sokka was the one who told Ronook that his wife had given birth to a baby boy nine months after Ronook left.

This brought a lot of whistling and elbowing from the other Water Tribe men, but Ronook just looked stunned. "I have a son?" he stared around, his eyes wide. "I have a son!"

It was very late when Sokka and Hakoda finally said good night. Sokka opted to sleep out under the open sky, and Hakoda retreated to his tent. It felt empty without Ursa there, but for the first night in years, Hakoda fell asleep only aching to see one of his children.

The next morning, Tamoru went back to town to check on Mikko and Ursa, and reported them both to be doing well. "They're playing games. Ursa's winning."

One corner of Hakoda's mouth turned upward. "Of course."

The Water Tribe worked on constructing new mines, since they didn't have enough empty ones to replenish the ones that had detonated. They continued to fish for skunkfish and they gathered seaweed. Sokka jumped in with the gathering both. He knew they were for traps, but it wasn't until early evening when he'd helped gather as much of the skunkfish and seaweed as he could that he joined Hakoda and Bato, who were finishing stuffing one of the mines, and Hakoda explained in detail about the Stink and Sink plan. Sokka was much more enthusiastic about the name than Bato and Ursa had been, and Hakoda couldn't help but grin at Sokka's amusement. How he had missed hearing his son's laughter.

Aside from the tangle mines, they were also creating packets of skunkfish that could be thrown directly at soldiers or onto the boats. The smell was bad enough when the mines detonated, but direct hits would completely incapacitate a soldier, causing a lot of coughing, choking, and burning eyes.

"Hakoda!" Notu came to a stop in front of him. "Our scouts have spotted four Fire Nation ships!"

"Bato, get these mines loaded up," Hakoda said. "The rest of you men, prepare for battle!"

After sending Sokka off to get ready with the other men, Hakoda helped Bato with the mines. There were still some in need of finishing. They had reset the first two rows of mines again, but they needed to get the other mines in place before the Fire Nation ships broached their first lines of defense.

"Four ships this time," Bato said to Hakoda as they carried a mine onto Bato's boat. "Three yesterday failed, and now they only send one more?"

"Our defenses aren't exactly back up to what they were. They stand a much higher chance of getting through to the bay," Hakoda pointed out. "But you still think something else is wrong."

"It's just an instinct."

"And I've learned not to ignore those."

Still, there wasn't much that they could do except approach the situation with as much caution as they always did. The sun had set by the time they finished preparing their mines and stink packets and loaded them onto ships. Hakoda estimated they didn't have much time to get them set up; at this rate, the Fire Nation had probably already hit the first, maybe the second, row of tangle mines.

Hakoda kept the two lifeboats that were being used for scouting beside the boats, putting one waterbender in each of them, and keeping the last waterbender, Okonu, on his ship.

"The lifeboats can maneuver easily through our tangle mines, and you can stay off to the side and launch these directly into the ships using waterbending," Hakoda told the two waterbenders in the lifeboats, pointing at their packets of skunkfish.

Hakoda was heading onto his boat with Sokka when something stopped them—the arrival of the Avatar's huge sky bison. It was the first time that Hakoda had seen the animal up close, but his attention was focused on the boy riding on Appa's head. He didn't need to know Avatar Aang to see the worry covering his face.

"This can't be good news," Sokka murmured. "Aang! What's going on?"

"Katara's in trouble!" Aang called back.

A cold fist clenched around Hakoda's heart. He wanted to ask how Katara was in trouble, wanted to know what he could do to help, but he had a group of Fire Nation ships incoming, a battle to fight—

Sokka squeezed his arm. "Go, Dad. We'll take care of Katara. I promise." He flung his arms around Hakoda, and Hakoda only had time to give him a quick hug before Sokka raced off, clambering up the sky bison to join Aang.

Hakoda's worry for his daughter didn't vanish, but he had long learned to live with the worry over his children. And he really did believe, as Appa lifted off of the ground with a great gust of air, that Sokka and Aang would take care of Katara. He had to trust that they would. Wasn't that what he had been doing all along? Trusting his children to take care of each other, trusting and hoping that they were equipped to handle everything the world was throwing at them as they fought to help the Avatar achieve peace. Letting go had never been easy, and it was not easy now, but it was necessary. A very, very painful necessity that war had forced upon all of them.

As Hakoda ran on board his boat and the Water Tribe fleet set sail, he turned for one last look of Sokka flying away from him, and a wistful smile settled on his face. Sokka was a true warrior—a protector, a guardian, and Hakoda held onto the belief that Katara would be fine. She had to be.

:-:-:-:-:

Though the wanted poster in Ursa's pocket was a heavy weight that didn't go away, she was in better spirits than she had been the day before. Mikko had not fallen to fever or worsened at all during the night, and the healer had said if he had another good night, she would send him back to the Water Tribe the next day. "Though your people had better make sure that he doesn't do any fighting until he's completely healed," Yumi had told Ursa sternly.

Toward the end of the day, Yumi gave Mikko another draft of herbs to help him sleep, since he was still in pain—even if he didn't complain about it—and had trouble resting. Ursa had nothing to do once he dozed off, and found herself reaching into her pocket to pull out the poster of Zuko and Iroh again. It still took great effort to keep tears from falling when she saw Zuko's face, both because it was her _son, _right on paper—and then because of a deep heartache and anger at what he had suffered at his father's hands. _She _knew what it was to be burned and scarred by Ozai, and she knew that the scar was only an outward mark of a far deeper and greater injury within.

_Oh, Zuko, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for what you've suffered. For what you might be suffering now._

She would have expected guilt, the guilt she had worked so hard to accept and overcome, to come back and slap her in the face. It's what she would have once experienced—she would have blamed herself for what happened to Zuko, would have told herself that she should have been able to prevent it, that if only, if only…

And maybe that guilt did tinge the edges of her consciousness, but with eyes that had learned to see the present instead of dwelling on the what-ifs, she was still certain that she had done everything she could. She reminded herself that Zuko would be dead if she had not acted, and that death was worse than a scar. No, it was not guilt that she felt; it was a deep, deep rage. Rage at Ozai.

_It's his fault. He did this. He chose to do this. He chose to end Zuko's life all those years ago_.

It hit her hard as she stared at Zuko's picture. Ozai's fault. Even if she _had _done something differently, even if she _had _gotten her children out of the Fire Nation before Ozai's fateful decision—_Ozai _was the one who had chosen power over his family. Ozai had done it all. And she…she was not responsible for the choices Ozai made. She had been his wife; she had tried to talk to him. She had tried to persuade him. It was all she had been able to do; but his decisions were _his_. He had decided to burn Zuko, and never had she hated the man her once-husband had become more than she did at that moment.

She was so lost in staring at her son's face that she jumped when the front door to the healing hut opened. She shoved the poster into her pocket as two men hurried inside, one of them half-supporting, half-leading the other. Both were clad in brown cloaks, and in the fading light of the sun, Ursa could see that the man being supported had a swollen face; his eyes were completely shut because they were so puffy. He was also sucking in sharp gasps of breath and clutching at his throat.

The man who was helping him shouted, "I need a healer!" He looked around and spotted Ursa. His eyes widened and he stared at her, surprise on his face, before cautiously asking, "You're not the healer, are you?"

"No, she's—" Ursa stopped as Yumi came out of her room in the back of the healing hut.

"My, my. What do we have here? Let's get your friend sitting down." Yumi helped get the blinded, swollen-faced man sitting.

"He ate some berries," the first man explained, "and then his face just swelled right up, and he said his throat was getting tight—"

Yumi swiftly grabbed herbs off of her work table, pouring them into water still hot from fixing Mikko's drink, but Ursa's attention was no longer on the healer. She stared at the first man as he paced back and forth while his companion struggled for breath. Her heart was suddenly thumping loudly in her ears. She barely heard Yumi say, "We must get him to drink this quickly. He may have a hard time swallowing it."

She barely paid attention as Yumi and the first man forced whatever concoction Yumi had made down the throat of the second man. _Firebender. He's a firebender_—_what is a firebender doing here? Are they both firebenders?_

"There. He's breathing a little easier now," Yumi said. "We'll give him a few minutes and get him to drink some more. The swelling will start to go down. You must have eaten okala berries—the bright purple ones?"

The second man could only nod as he took slow, deep breaths.

"You must not be from around here. The locals would have known better. And I don't recognize you," Yumi said.

Ursa stayed quiet and tried to decide what she should do. It felt like that last night in her inn all over again, when she knew there was a firebender and decided to confront him. But this was different, she told herself firmly. She didn't _have _to confront them, and if confrontation did come, she was better equipped to handle it.

But what would she do if they suddenly attacked? Mikko was heavily in a drugged sleep; normally all the noise would have already awakened him.

"We were camping nearby," the first man said. His voice and body language screamed _lying _to Ursa, and it was all she could do to sit calmly and not reach for her boomerang. "We're on our way to Ba Sing Se. Our village was overrun by the Fire Nation."

"Oh, dear." Yumi shook her head. "How fortunate that you were close enough to come get help here! Any longer and your friend would have died. Here, young man, drink another cup of that and you will be just fine." She handed the swollen man another dose of the drink, which he swallowed without any trouble this time.

"We really need to be going now. Our…families are waiting for us." The second man stopped his pacing and motioned to his companion to get up.

"You should stay for a bit. It's going to be a while before the swelling around his eyes goes down enough for him to see," Yumi said.

"We'll be fine," the first man said abruptly. "Let's go," he said to his friend, and tugged on his arm.

Ursa bit her lip and her eyes narrowed as she studied the men's movements on their way to the door.

_Yes. They're both firebenders. I'm sure of it. _

The first man caught her eyes, and she stared at him without speaking until he turned and pulled his friend out the door. _Did he recognize me? Or does he just think I'm part of the Water Tribe?_

"Well!" Yumi exclaimed as soon as they were gone. "Wasn't that strange? They seemed to be in a dreadful hurry."

Ursa stood up and went to the window, peering out and watching the two men walk hurriedly down the street. _Do I follow them? What if there are more? What if they're on the Earth Kingdom's side? What if they're not? _The last time she had asked herself these questions, her inn had burned. "I didn't realize you had refugees pass through here," Ursa said, keeping her eyes fixed on the men. "This village is very secluded."

"We get the occasional refugee, though we miss most of them because of the tunnels."

"Tunnels?" Ursa watched the two men vanish around a corner of town. If she was going to follow them, she would need to go _now_. She glanced at Mikko, still sound asleep, and then nodded to herself. She would follow, but do her best to remain unseen. She had to know what the firebenders were doing. She moved toward the door, but Yumi's words stopped Ursa in her tracks.

"You mean you don't know?" Yumi asked in surprise. "I would have expected that if your tribe was defending the bay, you would know about the tunnels! As you said, our town is secluded, as is the neighboring town. There's not really any good way out of here over land if the Fire Nation were to take the area, but our earthbenders had the foresight to create escape tunnels _months _ago in the event any of us needed to get out quickly."

"_What_?" Ursa was going to lose the firebenders, but this new bit of information suddenly seemed _very_ important in light of the firebenders' unexpected appearance.

"Oh, I have a map of them. I'll give it to you to take back to your tribe. There's one tunnel that comes out right at the bay, which would be a handy escape route for you and your people if you need it." Yumi continued to explain about entrances and exits, and Ursa vaguely heard her talking about how there was one tunnel that connected this town to the next one in the area, but she wasn't really listening anymore.

_Tunnels. There's a tunnel that goes out by the bay. An exit point that we didn't know about_—_and what if the firebenders _do_ know about it? Could they use it to sneak up on us without warning?_

_Oh, spirits…_

"Can you find the map? As quickly as possible, please," Ursa said urgently.

Yumi was already walking into her living area in the healing hut, and she came back with a scroll. She handed it to Ursa, who hastily unrolled it and looked at the map. It showed the bay, the towns, the familiar landscape, and there were green lines that represented the tunnels that crisscrossed under the land.

And one of them did come out right at the bay. Right near their tents, right_ there_ and they hadn't known it at all. There was another tunnel just outside of town, in the middle of a place that was supposed to be very hilly and rocky, according to the map. It was right in the direction the firebenders had headed.

Ursa rolled up the scroll and stuffed it into her pocket with the poster of Zuko and Iroh. "I have to go. If Mikko wakes up, tell him I went to the bay and I'll be back soon." A dreadful sense of foreboding had taken hold of Ursa. She might not have known where the firebenders went, but if there was _any _chance they were using—or planning to use—any of these tunnels, she had to warn the rest of the Water Tribe.

Ursa ran out the door and took off toward Chameleon Bay, her heart hammering in her chest. _What if the Fire Nation is about to ambush the Water Tribe? What if they're using the tunnel to get to the bay? _

_No, that wouldn't make sense…they would have to come out of the tunnel and the Water Tribe is camped right there on the beach; surely the Fire Nation would be seen before too many of them could come out of the tunnel._

Still, her sense of urgency and apprehension did not lessen as she fled toward the bay; if anything, it increased. The sun had set and she stumbled several times in the darkness, particularly since there was no road to the bay and she was racing through rocky landscape. Twice, she fell flat on her face, bloodying her hands, but she picked herself up and kept going.

It seemed to take ages to get to the bay, but when she got close, she noticed two things: the Avatar's sky bison flying away from the direction of the bay and a familiar voice calling her name. She turned to see Ornu jogging toward her. He must have been on lookout.

"What's wrong?" he asked as soon as he saw her.

Ursa spoke in between great gulps of air. "There were two firebenders in town. There are tunnels, Ornu, made by earthbenders. One of them comes out right at the bay. I don't know what the firebenders are up to, if they're up to anything, but we need to warn the others that there's a tunnel—"

"Wait, slow down. A tunnel?"

"I have a map. It comes out right near our tents. We have to warn—"

"There's no one on the beach right now," Ornu interrupted. "Four Fire Nation ships were incoming; the fleet just set out to meet them. We're already stretched thin on traps from our encounter with the Fire Nation ships yesterday."

It crashed over her then, and from the expression on Ornu's face, she knew the same thought had occurred to him. She hoped they were wrong, prayed that it was all just speculation, but the _possibility _was enough to send both of them running the rest of the way toward the bay, down the rocky embankment to the empty tents. Ursa could see the Water Tribe ships sailing across the bay.

_Is it a trap? Have the Fire Nation ships been testing our defenses, pushing our defenses, so that they could lure the boats out to fight and take over the beach in the meantime? Could we hold out against four Fire Nation ships and then a beach full of soldiers? _

Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she was blowing this way out of proportion. Maybe there had only been two firebenders and there weren't anymore, maybe, maybe, maybe…

But better to be overcautious and suspicious—better to be safe.

"Where's the tunnel?" Ornu asked urgently.

"It's supposed to be over here."

Ornu followed her to one of the rocky areas along the cliff face that sheltered the cove. "How does it open?"

"I don't know. It's supposed to be something non-earthbenders can use—a stone that moves?" Ursa suggested.

"Like this one?" Ornu eyed a large slab of rock and pushed it. It budged a little. "It looks the right size for hiding a tunnel."

"Wait," Ursa hissed. She held up a finger to her lips and then heard it more clearly. Voices coming from inside the hill.

"Get Hakoda back here _now_," Ornu whispered the order, and Ursa didn't hesitate. She ran for the shore.

"_Hakoda!_" Ursa cupped her hands and shouted Hakoda's name across the water. On his boat, his familiar figure turned her way, and she waved and motioned to him. She knew that if this ended up being just a few soldiers, if it was something else, then they were wasting precious minutes that could be spent getting to the incoming Fire Nation ships, but she was almost positive that this was some sort of trap.

Ursa turned back to Ornu only to find that they were too late. The large rock had been moved aside and she could see the tunnel that went into the cliff face, could see the Fire Nation soldiers that were coming out. She could not, however, see how many were in the tunnel. It could have been ten or a hundred. Ornu fought to keep them from coming out. The one advantage that he had was that only a couple of soldiers could emerge at once.

Ursa yanked out her boomerang and threw it at the head of the nearest soldier. The soldier fell and she caught the boomerang when it came back to her. Some of the soldiers, she could see as she got closer, were wearing the red Fire Nation uniforms; others wore nondescript brown clothes like the two men at the healing hut in town.

She found herself in close combat as some of the soldiers who had made it out of the tunnel turned their attention to her, and she silently thanked each of the Water Tribe men who had spent so much time teaching her combat. It was easier to fight on the beach than it had been on a crowded ship the day before—she had more room to maneuver—but it was still all she could do to keep herself on her feet.

Then Hakoda and the other men on his ship arrived, rushing past Ursa to meet the soldiers. No one had time to question what a tunnel was doing there; they just acted to handle the problem. Ursa heard Hakoda shouting at Okonu to try to block the tunnel.

Okonu bended a huge stream of water from the ocean over to the tunnel and froze it, along with several soldiers trying to get out, creating a barrier of ice and trapping whatever soldiers remained inside. It wouldn't last long—the firebenders would just melt it, but they would have to be careful of their people frozen in ice and it would give the Water Tribe a moment to overpower the people who had already made it out of the tunnel.

By the time the ice barrier finally melted away enough to permit more soldiers to come through, leaving two men still half-frozen and shivering in ice, the Water Tribe warriors were standing at ready in front of the tunnel and the Fire Nation was at a disadvantage because they were bottlenecked inside. Soon they realized they had no chance to win and retreated back the way they had come.

But this time, this battle, the Water Tribe had not been so fortunate. Ornu was lying facedown on the ground near the tunnel, unmoving, and Ursa watched in horror as Hakoda and Tamoru turned him over. She smelled burned flesh before she saw the charred skin that seared his chest and neck. He wasn't breathing and his eyes stared glassily into nothingness.

There was no time to grieve, no time for anything. There were still ships incoming, still a gaping hole in the cliff side. Once Hakoda heard, very quickly, the story of the tunnels, he took the map from Ursa and looked at it.

"This was the only tunnel this close, but this other one here could be a threat." Hakoda's voice was hard and the grief was evident in his eyes as he quickly began to issue orders. He had Okonu waterbend a very thick ice barrier back inside the tunnel. The other men tied up the Fire Nation soldiers who had been knocked unconscious and hadn't managed to escape. Two of them were dead. Notu went to town to get the locals to come take charge of the prisoners, since the Water Tribe didn't have the capacity to hold half a dozen of them. Notu was also supposed to find an earthbender to come permanently close the tunnel, and to see if they would close the other tunnel that could potentially be a danger to them.

The air was thick with anguish and anger, and Ursa's heart hurt so fiercely she could hardly breathe. Tears blurred her vision as her eyes passed over Ornu's body.

"Ursa."

Ursa turned at Hakoda's voice. He handed her the boomerang she hadn't realized she had dropped as she stood there, frozen. "I need you and Tamoru to stay here and guard the prisoners until the locals come to take charge of them. The rest of us have to go assist the fleet now."

She nodded numbly and gripped her boomerang as all the men but Tamoru ran back to Hakoda's boat. She watched as it set off across the bay, sped along with the aid of waterbending. She dropped to the ground near two of the tied, unconscious prisoners.

Tamoru was the only person left moving around the beach. He grabbed a blanket from a tent, took it over to Ornu, and spread it carefully over his body. A fresh wave of grief struck Ursa so hard that she almost threw up. She blinked and watched Hakoda's ship disappear from sight as it went to fight the other half of the battle.

_Dear spirits, please…please don't let anyone else die tonight._


	22. The Fall of the Earth Kingdom

**A/N: **Thank you to things24, Lavanya Six, FireChildSlytherin5, fifth11, Aristeia, Angelfly06, JFAPOI, NightHawk2957, ArrayePL, and Hebi R. for reviewing! You guys are awesome and I really appreciate the feedback!

I _finally _got through book 2 in this chapter! Woot! Onward we go to book 3.

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**Chapter Twenty-Two - The Fall of the Earth Kingdom**

The next morning dawned with a somber air of pain and mourning. The events of the night seemed one huge haze in Ursa's mind. The Water Tribe fleet returned from their victory over the Fire Nation ships, though two of the Water Tribe boats were damaged and several of the warriors had minor cuts and burns. The earthbenders from town came to take charge of the prisoners, the tunnels were sealed off, and the Fire Nation soldiers' dead bodies were removed. Mikko limped into camp just before sunrise; once he'd awakened from his drugged sleep and learned what had happened, wild boarcupines couldn't keep him from returning to the bay. He was not the first to drop to his knees beside Ornu's covered body with tears falling down his face.

When the sun rose, the Water Tribe gave Ornu a water burial. Even that was a foggy space of time for Ursa. She heard the others speaking about Ornu, sharing stories of him and his life. She even heard herself speak when Bato asked her if she wanted to say anything, but her voice seemed as distant as everything else, strangely detached from reality, and later she couldn't remember exactly what she had said. Whatever it was, it surely couldn't do justice to Ornu or his life.

There was still much to be done after the funeral. They were out of mines and most of them had been used the night before on the Fire Nation ships. The bay was vulnerable to attack if ships were to return. It was with weary, heavy hearts that they began preparations for the next set of traps. Ursa threw herself into helping any way that she could.

Ursa finally found a moment alone with Hakoda that afternoon when she was holding the shell of a mine still as he poured the nasty smelling mixture into it. He finished it off by shoving a plug into the top of the mine. She reached out and caught his hand as he started to move away. He looked at her with dark, shadowed eyes and then knelt on the ground beside her.

"I'm sorry," Ursa whispered.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know. I'm not apologizing for me. I'm so sorry for Ornu's loss."

Pain flashed across Hakoda's face and he rubbed a hand across his tired eyes. "I'll need to find a way to get word to his wife and children." He folded both of his hands around Ursa's. "I keep telling myself it could have been so much worse. If you hadn't noticed the firebenders in town and put the pieces together, then we might all be dead. We don't know how many soldiers were in that tunnel. But no matter how much worse it could have been, it doesn't make a difference for Ornu." Hakoda closed his eyes and drew a deep breath.

Ursa wrapped her arms around him and he returned the embrace.

Those of the Water Tribe who were able to sleep took turns getting short naps. Ursa allowed herself a brief sleep, asking the men to wake her after an hour. She wasn't sure she would be able to; every time she closed her eyes, it was Ornu's scorched body she saw. But the exhaustion of not having slept in almost two days caught up with her and sucked her into a troubled rest. She dreamed of Ornu dying, and of Zuko's face burning, and of the scar on her chest bursting into flame and consuming her.

She woke with a silent scream caught in her throat when Bato shook her. "It's been an hour, Ursa."

When night fell, the Water Tribe loaded up the meager amount of traps they had constructed during the day and sailed out into the bay to set them up. It was a long, long night. Ursa slept a little more, but it was still a restless sleep. In the morning, they were still working on setting barriers, and they were interrupted by the arrival of the Avatar's sky bison.

"Appa!" Hakoda exclaimed as he flew down beside Hakoda's ship.

Ursa gazed in wonder at the creature she had only ever seen from the distance. Her attention, however, was captured by the group of people riding on Appa's back.

"Dad!" A young man who had to be Sokka jumped from the bison onto the boat. "We need help!" He reached back to help a young girl off of the back of the bison. Judging from the look of her glassy eyes and the way she kept one hand on Sokka's shoulder, she was blind. She had hardly touched her bare feet to the deck when a lemur leapt off of the bison and onto her shoulder.

There was a man and a bear also riding on Appa's back. On the front was another girl clutching a boy with arrow tattoos. Avatar Aang. And the girl holding him had to be Katara; her resemblance to both Sokka and Hakoda was obvious. Ursa supposed the small green-clad girl was the Avatar's earthbending teacher, though she wasn't sure how a blind girl could fight.

_So young. They're little more than children._

Appa dipped nearer to the deck and Katara carefully lowered Aang down to Sokka. Closer up, Ursa could see that the Avatar was in very poor shape. His small body flopped in Sokka's arms, his clothes were torn, and Ursa could see an ugly, fresh wound in the middle of his back.

This was the Avatar, the person with so much power, the one that the whole world was depending on, but in that moment, all she could see was a young, broken boy.

"I need somewhere warm to put Aang, and I need water!" Katara said hurriedly. "I need to keep healing him."

"Let's get him below deck," Sokka said, and he and the two girls took the Avatar down into the hold.

The man and the bear had managed to get off of Appa, and they looked very worried and more than a little out of place. Ursa wasn't the only one eyeing the bear warily.

"Who are you?" Hakoda asked the man.

"Oh! I'm the Earth King. This is Bosco." He patted his bear fondly.

They all stared. "You're the Earth King?" Tamoru repeated.

"Can you tell us what happened at Ba Sing Se?" Hakoda asked.

"Well, it's a rather—"

"I can explain," Sokka called as he came up out of the hold. "Katara and Toph are looking after Aang."

_There _was a name that Ursa would never forget. "Toph?"

Sokka's gaze went to her; he looked tired and anxious, but he said, "You must be Ursa."

Ursa shot a quick glance at Hakoda, wondering how much he'd told his son about her, and nodded. She grasped the arm that Sokka held out.

"Sokka. And yeah, that was Toph—Aang's earthbending teacher."

Ursa didn't know if it was the same Toph who had saved her in Gaoling, but there were far more important issues at hand. Sokka turned to Hakoda. "Ba Sing Se has fallen."

His statement was met by dead silence, until at last Hakoda asked, "How?"

Sokka told them what had happened, how the Firelord's daughter and her two friends—"Mai and Ty Lee…a gloomy girl who throws knives and a crazy acrobat girl who I _think _was flirting with me"—had infiltrated Ba Sing Se in disguise.

_Mai and Ty Lee…they're still part of Azula's life? _Ursa had no trouble imagining Ty Lee as the flirty acrobat, but she had a harder time picturing the little girl she remembered as Mai being gloomy and…throwing knives?

Sokka continued, telling how Iroh had approached them in Ba Sing Se and asked for help in rescuing Zuko, who had been captured by Azula. Katara had also been imprisoned, so the Avatar had agreed to work with Iroh to get Zuko and Katara back.

"It was bizarre," Sokka admitted. "I mean, Zuko had been chasing after us for so long. We hadn't heard from him in a while—not that we were complaining! His sister and her crazy band of girl ninjas were hard enough without adding angry Prince Jerk to it! But Zuko's uncle seemed like a decent enough guy, and in the end, he saved Katara and Aang."

For that part of the story, all Sokka knew was what Katara had told him happened in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se. Ursa listened with a heavy heart as he told how Prince Zuko had seemed conflicted, but had ultimately sided with his sister and tried to take down the Avatar.

"He _did _go down," Sokka said. "Azula shot him with lightning. Iroh was the one who stood against Zuko and Azula and gave Katara a chance to escape with Aang. But…" He paused, and his voice was grave. "Aang wasn't breathing. He didn't even have a heartbeat. Katara healed him. I don't know how, except that she used some water from the spirit oasis at the North Pole and suddenly Aang was breathing again. But he's in _really _bad shape, and now Ba Sing Se is in the hands of the Fire Nation. The Dai Li—those are the earthbenders who pretty much run the place—are loyal to Azula now. We have to get out of here. It's not going to be long before this place is swarming with more ships than anyone can handle. There's nothing at all to stand in their way at Ba Sing Se now. Dad, we have to get Aang to safety. If we lose him—"

"Sokka!" Katara's voice echoed from down in the hold. "I could use some more help down here!"

"Coming!" Sokka ran for the ladder.

On top of everything Ursa had been through the past couple of days, all of this was overwhelming. She had so many thoughts rushing through her mind that she didn't even know if she could make sense of them all.

So Iroh _had_ turned away from the Fire Nation's ideals. Maybe long ago—she still didn't know the circumstances behind him and Zuko being wanted—or maybe he had made that final decision that very night, when it came down to protecting the Avatar. He was likely imprisoned now, unless he had managed to escape. She wished she could believe her children wouldn't do such a thing to their uncle, but she knew she would only be fooling herself.

_Fooling myself. Oh, spirits. What do I do?_

There was one thing that had her heart beating faster than anything. Zuko and Azula were in Ba Sing Se at that moment. For the first time since Ursa had left the Fire Nation, both of her children were in the Earth Kingdom, together, and she knew where they were.

_I've spent all this time trying to protect them. I've kept their identities a secret even from the person I love and trust most in the world. I keep telling myself that when Ozai is defeated, it will be safe. That it will be safe for people to know who my family really is. That it will be safe for my children._

_But…they're not children anymore. If we defeat Ozai, then what? Will that leave us with two new tyrants? The world will set their sights on defeating Zuko and Azula. Because…because they're not the ones in need of protecting now. It's the world that needs protecting from them._

That truth was a knife to her heart. Thinking of what her children had become…had she protected them only to have them destroy others to continue a century-long war?

_It's what they know. It's all they know. Maybe I didn't really believe Zuko and Azula would go this far. Did I really believe they were capable of killing?_

Every prayer she'd had that her children would find the right path, every fear that their spirits would be bent toward Ozai's goals, every hope her sacrifice wouldn't be for nothing—they all hung in front of her, shattering her heart. It was always shattering, it seemed, when it came to Zuko and Azula. But this time, it was also breaking for the people harmed by her children.

_Am I too late? Am I always too late?_

_No. As long as we're alive, there's a chance. As long as my children are alive, there's a chance they can learn. That they can change. There has to be._

She realized the men were talking to each other, that Hakoda was passing word along to the other boats that they were going to be sailing out of the bay. First, they had to go back to shore and pack up their tents and supplies, and get the people on lookout onto the boats, so they headed back, accompanied by Appa.

Ursa knew what she needed to do next. It was all she could do. She might fail. She might fail _miserably_, but if she didn't try, then she had already failed.

"Hakoda." She was glad her voice sounded strong, because this was going to be very, very hard. She gripped his arm. "Hakoda, I have to go to Ba Sing Se. This may be my only chance to fix this."

Hakoda stared at her. "What?"

"I have to get to Ba Sing Se," she repeated. "You heard your son. The Fire Nation has taken it."

"Isn't that more reason to stay away from it?" Hakoda asked. "The Firelord's children brought down the Avatar, Ursa."

"Which means they're still in Ba Sing Se."

Hakoda was looking at her with confusion. She moved her hands to his shoulders and stared him straight in the eye.

"Zuko. Azula. Mai. Ty Lee. I know them all, Hakoda. Or…I knew them all. They knew _me. _I've been running and running, I've been hiding and trying to protect my children, but I have to go now. I'm Fire Nation and I might be able to do something in Ba Sing Se. For the sake of my nation and yours, I _have _to try." Ursa closed her eyes. "I know you don't understand, and that's my fault." She opened them again. "Whether or not this works, I will explain everything the next time I see you. I'll tell you the rest." She swallowed and shook her head. "I should have told you already."

She saw the questions and hesitation in his eyes. She could have told him everything right then and there. _Oh, Hakoda, before I leave, you should know that my daughter just killed the Avatar before your daughter revived him. _

Maybe she should have told him, but she didn't want to do it like this, not drop that and then leave. She would come back. She would come back, and then she would tell him.

And he still didn't ask. Didn't question, though she was sure he wanted to. He had always shown her trust, always believed in her, and all he said was, "You'll need supplies."

She had never loved him more than she did at that moment. She squeezed his shoulders and then raced down to the hold. Most of her things were in her and Hakoda's tent, but she gave the storage space on the ship a quick look to make sure she had everything she needed out of it.

Part of her couldn't believe she was doing this. How could she just leave the Water Tribe? How could she leave Hakoda?

How _couldn't_ she? It was going to be difficult—she had finally, finally found a home, people who accepted her for everything she was, a man who loved her more than she had ever imagined possible, and she was very aware of what her departure would take from Hakoda, too, which was the hardest part of all.

She heard voices from the next room where the men had their hammocks. "He's so weak." That was Katara's voice, sounding on the verge of tears. "I can't get him to wake up or respond at all."

"It's going to be okay, Katara. He's _alive_, and he's going to get better," Sokka said. "And we're with Dad now, so—"

"Oh, right, great. Because Dad's so good at being there when we need him." The cynicism was raw in Katara's voice and Ursa winced at the harshness and hurt mixed into it. There was so much pain everywhere she turned.

_I'm sorry, Hakoda. I wish I could stay and be here for you as you get reacquainted with your children. _

The other girl, Toph, was speaking, but Ursa only caught the last part of her words. "—and Twinkle Toes'll be splashing around with you in no time."

Though it had been months since Ursa had met the young girl Toph underground in Gaoling, there was no mistaking it. This _was _the same girl who had saved her that night. The hint of dryness and attitude in her words was exactly the same.

Ursa remembered asking Toph, way back on that night, how she had known Ursa needed help if she couldn't see her, and Toph's laugh at that. No wonder she had been amused.

"Sokka, will you hand me the salve?" Katara asked.

Ursa went quickly back up the ladder. The boats were almost to the shore now, and she stood silently, taking a deep breath as she looked around at the Water Tribe men. As she looked at Hakoda.

As soon as the boat landed, Ursa hurried onto the beach and into the tent she shared with Hakoda. She began putting things she would need inside of her bag. An extra set of Water Tribe clothes, her single set of Earth Kingdom clothes, some dried food, a canteen, and a few other essentials. She closed it, sank back on her heels, and took a deep breath. She gathered up her bag and left the tent to find Hakoda right outside. She stopped and they looked at each other.

Hakoda finally broke the silence. "Okonu said he'll go with you."

"Hakoda, you need him here. You don't have many waterbenders."

"You shouldn't be alone."

"I think this is something I _have _to do alone."

Hakoda dragged his hand across his face. "If you're going to travel to Ba Sing Se, you're going to have to find a way into the city through all of the Fire Nation that's going to be pouring into it."

"That's the easy part." Ursa met his eyes. "I think I can pass into the city as someone from the Fire Nation. I can play a Fire Nation noble pretty well, you know." Her attempt at a smile fell flat.

"Please, Ursa. Whatever it is you have to do, whatever it is that you need to do alone—bring Okonu with you as far as you can. He can get you to Ba Sing Se quickly. I'll give you one of the lifeboats and he can waterbend you up to the outskirts of the city. Otherwise you'll have to try to find other transportation."

And that would waste more of her time. She nodded slowly. "All right."

"Take this, too." Hakoda pressed a small money pouch into her hands. "It's Earth Kingdom money, so hopefully it will still be good in Ba Sing Se."

Ursa took the money pouch, and then silently helped Hakoda disassemble their tent. When camp was broken up, one of the lifeboats was pulled up onto shore, and Okonu was waiting in it for Ursa. By then, word had spread between the men that she was leaving. She could see that they were as concerned and confused as Hakoda, but all they did was give her encouragement and words of advice as she grabbed her bag and headed to the lifeboat.

Hakoda walked with her, and when she reached the lifeboat, she turned to face him. For a moment, she couldn't speak, and when she did find her voice, it came out as a hoarse whisper. "I'll find you again." She searched Hakoda's eyes and, in a steadier voice, said, "I promise."

He stepped forward and crushed her in a hug. They shared a long kiss, and then Ursa stepped onto the lifeboat and sat down. Hakoda and Bato pushed it into the water, and Ursa's eyes locked with Hakoda's as he stood on the shore and watched her go. She didn't look away until he was out of sight. When she did, the tears threatened to come and she turned her face away from Okonu.

_I'll come back. I'll come back. I have to do this. I have to try to save my children…this time from themselves._


	23. Ba Sing Se

**A/N: **Thank you to FireChildSlytherin5, ArrayePL, Obscure Stranger, things24, Lance Murdock, Aristeia, Avatar of Wurms, Angelfly06, ennui deMorte, hj, fifth11, ayameko2TTe, and JFAPOI for reviewing!

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**Chapter Twenty-Three - Ba Sing Se**

The walls of Ba Sing Se were breached. It might have taken a while to find an entrance if Ursa and Okonu hadn't been on the channel that went to Ba Sing Se, but the Fire Nation had set up a way to get in and out of the city off of the water, presumably for all of the Fire Nation ships that would be called there now that it had fallen.

The entrance was a huge, smooth gap in the thick wall. From its appearance, Ursa was sure that the wall had been earthbended down, probably by the Dai Li loyal to her daughter. She had to wonder what Azula had done or said to get the earthbenders in charge of Ba Sing Se on her side. Ursa had always thought of the earthbenders as so strong and unbendable to Fire Nation persuasion. Ursa reminded herself that she really knew nothing of the politics in the city. Either the Dai Li were a different sort of earthbenders or her daughter had magnificent persuasion skills.

Okonu and Ursa hid their boat in some brush a short way down the river and walked back toward the entrance to observe it inconspicuously. It was getting close to dawn, and the only lights came from the torches at the entrance and the moon hanging in the sky. From what Ursa could see, there were only four guards at the entrance. There was likely some sort of post set up just inside the wall with more guards, and if that was the case, Ursa couldn't know how many there were inside. But it was the four at the entrance that were going to be the biggest hindrance.

Ursa turned to Okonu. "I have one more favor, and then I need to go on alone."

Okonu's brow furrowed. "Don't you think it would be safer if I just stay with you?"

"Not for where I'm going. I just need to get into the city. Then you should go back to the fleet as quickly as you can, before you get blocked off from them." She'd had several plans to get into the Ba Sing Se, most of them requiring she pass as a Fire Nation noble in hope of getting through, but now that she saw the breach, she thought this way might be easier.

Okonu didn't look pleased, but he asked, "What do you need me to do?"

"Can you restrain the soldiers guarding the entrance so I can go through? Without getting caught?"

Okonu looked between the guards and the river nearby. "I can do it," he said with determination.

They retreated back to their boat and Ursa changed from her Water Tribe clothes into her single set of Earth Kingdom robes. She would draw far less attention to herself that way. Then she slung her bag across her shoulder and she and Okonu crept back to the city walls.

They moved quickly so that Okonu would be able to do his waterbending while it was still dark. Not only would it make it harder for the Fire Nation soldiers to see, but Okonu would be stronger under the light of the moon.

"All right. When I count to three, you get in the gate as quickly as you can and I'll cover you," Okonu murmured.

"Got it."

"Be careful, Ursa. One…two…three."

Ursa didn't hesitate. She ran for the entrance, and as she did, she saw huge streams of water rushing past her. By the time she reached the gate, all four guards were pinned with ice to the side of the wall. She glanced over her shoulder to see Okonu right behind her, his body surrounded in water. He flung another stream of water toward a soldier coming toward them, but he was the only other soldier that Ursa saw. The others seemed to be inside a little rock hut that served as the guard post.

Okonu motioned to her to go and flashed a smile of assurance. She ran forward to the dark streets of Ba Sing Se. Her last glimpse of Okonu was him disappearing back out the wall, and she prayed that by the time the other soldiers realized their companions were frozen, he would be safely away from Ba Sing Se.

The sun was creeping upward in the sky and brightening the city as Ursa made her way deeper into it. She had heard plenty about the size of Ba Sing Se, but all she needed to know was where her children were. Her assumption was that they would be at the palace, the seat of power in the city, but she was afraid that if she was wrong, she would waste precious time trying to find and get into the palace.

Ba Sing Se wasn't as full of Fire Nation soldiers as Ursa knew it soon would be. There was a definite presence as the Fire Nation patrolled the streets with the green-clad men whom Ursa supposed to be the Dai Li, but most of the people she saw were the normal citizens. Many were opening shops with the dawn, or dragging carts of wares out onto the streets to sell. Ursa stopped and talked to a fish seller, who informed her that the Fire Nation had instituted a curfew—everyone was to be inside at sunset and allowed out again at sunrise.

"Refugee centers are packed," the fish seller told her. "I hear it's been much worse the past couple days." He shook his head. "I'm sorry you came all the way here only to find yourself in the middle of all of this."

"Do you think you could direct me to the nearest inns and taverns? Or tea shops?" Ursa asked him. "Preferably if you know of any with Pai Sho tables?"

The fish seller looked at her as though she had lost every shred of sanity. "The Earth Kingdom's coming to an end and you want to play Pai Sho?" he said in disbelief. Then he sighed and shrugged. "Guess we all have ways of dealing with it, eh? I'm just out here selling fish, same as always. Sure, there's a tavern near here that has a Pai Sho table, but I doubt you'll find anyone looking to play a game this early in the morning! In fact, they're probably not even open yet!"

He was right. Ursa found the tavern, but it was closed and the sign announced it would open at midday. She spent the morning scouring that tiny section of the city, looking for inns, which she knew would be open, and tea shops, which had a higher chance of being open at that time of the morning. During her morning wanderings, she became more certain than ever that the green-clad men patrolling the area were the Dai Li. She witnessed a horrible scene in which an Earth Kingdom civilian ran screaming in a useless attack at one of the Fire Nation soldiers. One of the men she thought was Dai Li earthbended cuffs around the man's wrists and dragged him away.

It was hard to watch, hard to keeping walking when all she wanted to do was whack a few heads with her boomerang and help the poor man. Knowing that ultimately it was her children behind all of this made her that much more determined to keep on with her plans.

Ursa had to move slowly and cautiously through the maze of streets and buildings, locating more businesses, and then finding the ones that had Pai Sho tables. It was mid-afternoon when she finally found what she was looking for—an older man in a tea shop who looked at her shrewdly when she sat at the Pai Sho table and set Misaki's white lotus tile precisely in one spot.

The man set down his own piece, and relief swept over Ursa. She had found someone from the Order of the White Lotus.

Ursa set out tile pieces in the pattern taught to her by General Xu. When she was finished, the man rubbed a hand over his black-and-gray beard. "A friend of the Order, eh?" He held out his hand and Ursa grasped it. "I'm Gue."

"Ursa."

"Ursa. What kind of help do you need?"

"I need to get to Prince Zuko and Princess Azula of the Fire Nation. At this point, I don't even know if they're still in the city."

"Believe me, you're not the only one who would like to get to them," Gue said. "If we could have taken them out already, we would have."

Of course there were plenty of people who would take down Zuko and Azula if they had a chance; it was not surprising to hear it, but it still sent the familiar cold fist of fear and hurt clenching around her heart. "I don't want to take them out—not in the way you're thinking, at least," Ursa replied. "I need to get close enough to talk to them."

"From what I've heard, they're not so big on diplomacy."

Ignoring this, Ursa said, "I might be able to get to them if I know where they are. Can you tell me if they're at the palace?"

Gue looked at her with curiosity. "Yes, but word is they're returning to the Fire Nation soon."

Ursa nodded slowly. "All right. If you can help me, I need to get my hands on some Fire Nation clothing. Then I need to get to the palace as quickly as I can, and I don't know the way."

"If they catch you trying to sneak into the palace, they'll toss you in prison. Not only that—there are other potential dangers." Gue leaned forward and looked at her earnestly. "There are people who disappear here and come back different. There's some crazy brainwashing that's been taking place. You run into any women named Joo Dee and you're almost guaranteed to be looking at a brainwashed person. The Order here has been able to get to some of them and work on reversing their conditioning, but it's not always easy. Look, not even our earthbenders can get to the palace. The Dai Li have that place locked down. The Order even has someone _inside _the palace, but they've not been able to lay a finger anywhere near the Fire Nation's prince and princess. The advantage is not ours right now."

"I knew there would be dangers in this, but I'm not going to try to sneak into the palace. I'm going to walk into it."

Now the curiosity was mixed with skepticism as Gue asked, "And how do you plan to do that? Putting on some Fire Nation clothes isn't going to fool the Dai Li."

"I don't have to fool them. I _was _a Fire Nation noble. I will be going to the palace as myself. Nothing more, nothing less. And yes, it will still be very dangerous, but believe me when I say that I'm the only one who might stand a chance at getting close to the prince and princess."

Gue leaned back in his seat and eyed her with speculation. Several long moments passed, and he finally nodded. "Come with me."

In no time at all, Gue had taken her to a clothing shop, where the owner, a woman about Ursa's age, took her into a back room and brought out some red robes. "In our line of work," the woman told her, "you never know what clothes you might need."

Ursa wasn't sure if she, too, was part of the Order or exactly what line of work she was referring to, and she didn't ask.

"We'll have to bring it in a little; it looks like these robes are a bit too big." The woman grabbed a measuring tape and some pins, and quickly took Ursa's measurements. "I'll just fix them up quick for you."

Ursa used the woman's mirror to fix her hair while her new clothes were being altered. When she donned the red clothing, Ursa stared at her reflection. The image of Fire Nation red and the old hairstyle was familiar and yet so far away. The woman in the mirror was a far different person than the one who had left the Fire Nation all those years ago.

Ursa thanked the woman, who replied, "Whatever you're doing, if you're with Gue, it's for the betterment of the Earth Kingdom. This is all I can do to help. Go, and may the sun shine upon your path."

Ursa blinked at the woman, and then smiled. "And may the moon guide your steps." Her words had far more meaning to her than they ever had before after everything she had been through with the Water Tribe.

The woman's eyes widened. Perhaps she had only meant her words as a blessing and hadn't expected Ursa to recognize the phrase, because she looked surprised. Then a smile lit her face and she bowed at Ursa, who returned the gesture.

Gue was waiting for her, and had procured a coach while she was getting ready. "I will go to the palace with you," Gue said, "as far as I can. Here." He waved at the coach, pulled by a single ostrich horse, sitting outside the shop. "If you're planning to enter the palace as a Fire Nation noble, it will look better if you don't arrive on foot. It will also avoid the attention of all the citizens on the way to the palace." He jumped onto the front of the coach. "We'd better hurry. The sun will be setting soon and then it's curfew."

"Will you grant me one more favor?" Ursa unfastened her boomerang sheath and gently tucked it into her bag. She handed the bag to Gue. "Will you hold onto these for me? If…" She hesitated, then continued, "You said there was someone from the Order in the palace, so if this person learns that I have been killed, I would ask you to send my belongings to Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe. There's a scroll in my bag that will be very important for him to see." The very thought was enough to make her want to turn back around—the thought of what Hakoda would face if he lost another woman he loved. But she knew, and Hakoda knew, that life was so fleeting and that fighting this war, winning this war, was what had to be done, even if it cost them both their lives. "If I am only captured, then please don't send those to him. Instead, would you hold onto them and send him a message informing him that I am captured but still alive?"

Gue listened attentively and then nodded. "I will do my best."

"Thank you."

They set off then, and Ursa watched Ba Sing Se flash through the windows of the coach, her hands clenched in her lap. She was trying not to think too far ahead, or to look back and question everything that had brought her to this point. She was so tense that it was hard to breathe, and all she could do was focus on right then and there, on one step at a time. Right now, this step was to get to the palace.

The coach ground to a halt so abruptly that Ursa was nearly tossed out of her seat. She heard voices that became clear as the speakers approached. "—any farther!"

Ursa heard Gue explaining he was escorting a Fire Nation citizen to the palace. Ursa took that as her cue. She drew a deep breath, straightened, and flung the door to the coach open so she could stick her head out of it. She put the perfect mixture of boredom and irritation in her voice when she demanded, "What is the delay? I don't have all day!" There was a huge slab of rock plunging out of the road right in front of the carriage and two Dai Li agents were confronting Gue. Ursa pinned a glare on both of them. "Are you two responsible for this?" She waved at the rock. "Do you have _any _idea what I had to go through to get to Ba Sing Se?"

"Just who do you think you are?" the first Dai Li countered.

Ursa schooled her expression toward more annoyance and a little anger, even though inside she just felt anxious and nauseated. She stepped out of the carriage and tilted her head haughtily. "I am Ursa, once princess of the Fire Nation, mother to Prince Zuko and Princess Azula."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Gue staring at her, but her gaze remained fixed on the two Dai Li.

"Sure. You really expect us to believe that?" the first Dai Li asked.

"I don't care what you believe," Ursa snapped. "I demand to see my children _immediately_."

The Dai Li exchanged glances, the second one looking more than a little uncertain. In an undertone, he told his companion, "She does look remarkably like the princess."

The first Dai Li looked at Ursa shrewdly and murmured back, "We can't just let anyone claiming to be close to the princess walk right into the palace."

"And what if this really is her mother and we anger the princess?"

Ursa interrupted their whispered conversation, folding her arms impatiently. "That would be very unwise. My daughter can be ruthless."

"Why would the Firelord's wife be traveling like this?" the first Dai Li agent waved at Gue and the carriage.

"I said _once _princess. I am not the Firelord's wife. I am Azula and Zuko's mother and how I choose to travel is my business. Besides, are you going to tell me that my children came into the city in splendor and to the celebration of the citizens?" she asked sarcastically. "I know they didn't. Do you think I'm stupid enough to prance openly through the city and proclaim myself mother to the prince and princess? Our troops have not fully secured Ba Sing Se. Even my escort—" she waved at Gue "—had to dress as an Earth Kingdom citizen to ensure his safety."

"Princess Azula didn't mention that we should expect you," the second Dai Li agent spoke up.

"And Azula tells you _everything_, does she?" Ursa said it with as much derision as she could manage.

After a few moments, the first agent said, "We will escort you to the palace, but you will remain with us at all times until we determine what Princess Azula's wishes are, and if it proves you are lying, you will be imprisoned immediately."

"Then there is no cause for concern." Ursa approached the two Dai Li, and the second one held out his hand.

"We'll need to make sure you have no weapons."

Though she had no weapons left on her person, Ursa knew what her response to this needed to be, too. She drew herself up to her full height and looked the man straight in the eye. "If you so much as lay one finger on me, so help me I will see to it that _you _never see daylight again!"

She saw the two Dai Li agents wavering—they had to make the choice as to whether they should just arrest her now and risk getting into trouble if Ursa was telling the truth, or whether she was actually lying and a threat to their new rulers. She wondered what they saw in her—if Azula really did look like her so much, if maybe that was making the Dai Li hesitate. She did not flinch or back down from their scrutiny, and finally they lowered the rock blocking their path, pushing it back into the ground, and motioned to Gue to go with them. Ursa climbed back into the coach, and the Dai Li stayed right beside her, one on either side, as they continued down the road. When the coach came to a stop in front of the palace, Ursa stepped out of it and looked at Gue. She motioned at him. "I have no further need of you right now. You may report back to the soldiers."

He would have to know that this was his opening to leave her alone. He met her eyes, and she saw questions in them, but he gave a hasty, "Yes, my lady."

Ursa stared up at the Earth Kingdom palace. She was so close. She had made it this far, and part of her couldn't believe everything had gone so smoothly.

But she was not out of the woods yet. Her next step would be finding out if her children would even see her.


	24. Messages

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who reviewed: Angelfly06, ArrayePL, Aussie-Muggle, Kimjuni2, Aristeia, ennui deMorte, fifth11, Avatar of Wurms, things24, JFAPOI, xneoncheaterx, FireChildSlytherin5, jsalbano, and Metella. :)

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four - Messages**

Ursa was taken into a room in the palace that had no doors or windows; the only way in or out was through earthbending. One of the Dai Li remained with her. Ursa stood imperiously, refusing to sit on one of the chairs in the room.

She didn't wait long before the wall opened and a young woman stepped inside. Though it had been years since Ursa had seen her daughter, there was no mistaking her, and Ursa searched Azula's face with a relief and joy that wasn't dampened by her worry. After so many years, after she had wondered if she would even lay eyes on her children again, Azula was right in front of her, safe.

_Safe, yes,_ Ursa thought, _but not whole._ Azula was a beautiful young woman, but there was a pinch to her face and a hardness to her eyes that reminded Ursa of Ozai. She moved not only like a firebender, but like a disciplined warrior. Every motion of her body was precise, calculated.

Azula stared at Ursa impassively for several seconds, and Ursa's throat was so clogged that it was a moment before she could speak, but Azula beat her to it.

"So it is true." There was the smallest flicker of emotion on Azula's otherwise passive face, so fleeting that Ursa couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. "What are you doing here, _Mother_?"

Mother. As a child, Azula had only ever called her that when she was particularly upset. Ursa wanted nothing more than to just pull her daughter into her arms and hold her close, but when she took a step toward Azula, the ground around her jutted up, enclosing her body and pinning her into place with her arms at her sides.

Ursa's gaze flickered over to the Dai Li standing quietly at the wall before returning to Azula. "I came to see you. To talk to you."

"You really expect me to believe you just came to talk? You betrayed your country and your family when you left us." Azula stared at her and added disinterestedly, "A lot of people think you're dead. If you had wanted to talk, why wait until now? What is it really, Mother? Did you hear how we took Ba Sing Se and decide to try to use our glory to get back into the graces of the Fire Nation?" She was watching Ursa shrewdly, calculating, so full of distrust and anger. Ursa could see it in her eyes, though she masked it well. Azula had always been adept at covering up her emotions.

"I have no desire to be a part of what you've done here, Azula. I heard that you and Zuko were here, yes, and I came to tell you the truth."

"The truth about what? Your betrayal? Don't bother. I couldn't care less."

"You should care. What our country is doing is hurting the world—including the Fire Nation. If you care about our country at all—"

"I care about it far more than you ever did. You think I don't know what you did the night you left? Zuko may be too thick to put the pieces together, but I know."

Ursa straightened her head, the only part of her body not encased in earth, and met Azula's eyes. "I did what I had to do."

"To protect Zuko." There was bitterness there, again well-hidden, but Ursa was discovering that even in five years, Azula's mannerisms were the same. She was much harder than she had been as a little girl, but her behavior wasn't so far off from what Ursa had imagined it could be.

"To protect both of you, Azula," Ursa corrected quietly.

"Father would never harm me."

Ursa looked at Azula and then quietly said, "I would have said the same thing once. 'Ozai would never harm me.' That was before he burned me and cast me away."

"Then you deserved it."

It was another knife in Ursa's heart, but she didn't flinch. "I think your father has harmed you far more than you can see."

"Is this your plan, then? To come here to try to turn me against my father? You should know it won't work."

"I know you love your father, Azula, but he _is_ wrong. The Fire Nation is wrong."

"The Fire Nation is the strongest nation in the world."

"The Fire Nation is weak where it matters most." Ursa thought of the Water Tribes, of the Earth Kingdom, of all of the people who had taught her what it really meant to be strong.

"As _fascinating _as this has been, I really have no time to listen to your treachery. You sound just like _Uncle_," Azula said disdainfully.

"Azula, please. Let me speak to you and Zuko—"

Azula's expression shifted ever so slightly as soon as she mentioned Zuko. "So you can try to get him to betray our country? I'm sorry, Mother, but he's had enough of that lately."

So Zuko might be convinced. Azula was at least concerned by the possibility. But Azula…

_What do I do? What can I do for her?_

"But maybe you knew that already. Are you sure it's not just Zuzu you're so desperate to see? It's no secret that he was always your favorite."

Ursa's eyes widened. "That is _not _true, Azula, and if you knew—"

"Knew what? You think that I don't know what you thought of me? You always thought I was a horrible child. Lecturing me for burning that stupid doll that Uncle sent me, always defending Zuko, always telling me how I needed to behave. I've heard enough. I have a ship waiting to take us back to the Fire Nation, and I can't afford to waste anymore time. Nor can I afford to have you wandering around and claiming authority you don't have." Azula turned to her Dai Li agent. "Throw her in the catacombs and ensure she never leaves. And if _anyone _finds out that she is here, especially Prince Zuko, I will have you thrown in there as well!"

The Dai Li bowed slightly. "Yes, Princess."

"Azula!" Ursa had lost, and she knew it, knew now that Azula was going to remain deaf to anything she might say about the Fire Nation. But there was one thing—maybe the only thing that stood a chance of changing something in Azula, something that she needed to know and that only Ursa could tell her. "Do you remember what I told you the night I left? That hasn't changed. It's never changed. I love you, Azula."

There was that strange emotion on Azula's face again. Was it fear? Pain? It was something vulnerable, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come, and Azula spun and walked quickly to the wall, where the Dai Li agent earthbended an opening.

Ursa called after her, "I have _always _loved you. I have thought about you and worried for you every day that I have been gone."

Azula's snapped to the Dai Li, "Get her out of my sight _now_."

Then the ground dropped out from under Ursa and she was plunged into darkness.

:-:-:-:-:

The time following the arrival of Hakoda's children and Ursa's departure was some of the hardest that Hakoda had experienced in a while. The Water Tribe was still reeling from Ornu's loss. Aang remained unconscious. Even though Sokka and Katara were on board, Hakoda felt like they were ships passing him in the night. Sokka was busy reevaluating the invasion plan now that they didn't have the Earth Kingdom to back them up, all of his focus on what needed to be done next, and Katara was barely looking at Hakoda, let alone speaking to him.

At first, Hakoda thought Katara was ignoring him because she was so caught up with Aang. She gave him healing session after healing session and barely took time to eat. But it wasn't long before he realized she was angry with him. He suspected he knew why, and he also knew that it wasn't something she was going to let him talk about right then. He attempted several times to approach Katara, but she would brush him off and make excuses about something else she needed to do. He kept trying in little ways, without pushing, because he didn't want to ignore it or to make Katara think he wasn't paying attention. But he knew that she was going to have to be the one who decided to talk or not, and he hoped that she would. Whatever breach was between them, his spirit wouldn't be at rest until he had some kind of peace with his daughter.

On their third day at sea, Katara pulled herself away from Aang long enough to look around the ship and get her bearings. She discovered Mikko, still in bad shape from his run-in with the Fire Nation, and gave him a healing session, too. She was able to heal him enough that he could function again, though he was still a bit sore and had to take it easy with how much he did.

Then Katara was back to focusing on Aang's recovery. Sokka was the one who cajoled her into eating and resting, and as glad as Hakoda was that Katara had someone who could help her that way, part of him mourned that he wasn't able to do it. Katara ignored Hakoda or snapped at him anytime he tried.

Sokka asked what had happened to Ursa and Hakoda said she'd left to help in Ba Sing Se. Beyond that, there never seemed to be a good opportunity to tell Sokka and Katara what his life had been like the past couple of years, and in particular, the past months. If he was going to tell them about it, he wanted to talk to them both together, and at the moment, Katara was making that impossible.

Also on their third day out, Okonu returned on the lifeboat and informed the crew that Ursa had made it into Ba Sing Se. Hakoda wasn't sure if he was more relieved or worried, but he had to trust that Ursa knew what she was doing. It was difficult—not to trust, but not to know what was happening. He missed her horribly, and wondered if there would ever be a time when he wasn't missing someone he loved.

After Okonu's return, a lot happened very quickly. They realized they couldn't escape Chameleon Bay because there were too many Fire Nation ships pouring into it, so they had to make the decision to hijack a Fire Nation ship and destroy their boats.

It was a sound military decision, one that gave them the best chance of survival, but it was not an easy thing to do. Oh, capturing the Fire Nation ship turned out to be far easier than Hakoda could have hoped for, but watching as the Water Tribe boats were shattered to pieces was just one more blow to his spirit. Ships could be rebuilt, but they had been the ships that had carried the Water Tribe through so many trials and tribulations. They were battle-scarred and weather-worn, but they had been the only home Hakoda had known for the past couple of years. He allowed himself a minute to mourn as he looked from their captured Fire Nation vessel at the smashed bits, and then he turned away. There was still so much more that had to be done before this could end.

The Earth King set off on his own. Hakoda met Pipsqueak and The Duke, old acquaintances of his children. Hakoda had to find a messenger willing to deliver a letter to Ornu's family in the South Pole.

Now that his children were there with him, it was Ursa who was on his mind every night when he fell asleep. He hadn't heard anything from her, and he wasn't sure if that was good news or bad news. He prayed she was well. More than once, he mulled over her decision to leave. Whatever she was doing, it seemed to have something to do with the kids who had taken Ba Sing Se.

_"Zuko. Azula. Mai. Ty Lee. I know them all, Hakoda. Or…I knew them all. They knew _me_."_

He had already known that due to her position, she had been acquainted with the royal family in the Fire Nation, but with the determination in which she had left, it had occurred to him that maybe it was more than that. Maybe one of the Fire Nation kids in Ba Sing Se was hers.

That sent his thoughts spinning all over the place. There were Azula's two friends, Mai and Ty Lee, about whom Hakoda knew almost nothing. He quickly dismissed the idea that one of them was Ursa's daughter. Sokka had said that the girls weren't firebenders, and he knew that both of Ursa's children were firebenders.

He moved on to the prince and princess of the Fire Nation. Was it at all possible that Zuko and Azula were Ursa's?

He considered that for a long time one night as he lay on his mat in the foreign Fire Nation ship, listening to Mikko's snores from across the room. He tried to picture Ursa being married to the Firelord and had a very hard time with it. Though he knew nothing about the Firelord's wife, whether she was alive, dead, or sitting around the Fire Nation palace eating delicacies all day, he didn't see how that position would fit with Ursa and everything she had told him about her family. Yes, the profile of the family fit—the Firelord had a brother and two children, and Ursa had mentioned a brother-in-law and two children, but surely there were many people in the Fire Nation who fit that description.

Besides, Ursa had said her son's life was threatened by someone who wanted to use him as means to an end and that her former husband had allowed it to happen because he wanted power and position. But the Firelord's family was the most powerful in the Fire Nation. Ozai wouldn't have needed power, and he would have been more than capable of taking down anyone who endangered his son.

It just didn't make sense. It would make far more sense if it had been the Firelord's family that had threatened Ursa's son and forced her out of the Fire Nation. Could that be it? It would explain Ursa's paranoia in talking about the situation. Who would have the most spies and the best chance of hearing if Ursa was doing anything untoward? If it was the royal family that Ursa was so frightened of, he could understand why she wouldn't have said anything.

He didn't know why she would have gone to Ba Sing Se, though, if that was the case. All he had to go on were theories, and nothing quite fit into place. He could only hope that whatever Ursa was doing would be successful and that she would find her way back to the Water Tribe again.

Unable to sleep, Hakoda made his way around the other sleeping men in the room and headed topside for some fresh air. He waved at Pika and Hikaru, standing watch, and then noticed they weren't the only ones on deck. Sokka was leaning against the railing, looking up at the bright moon in the sky.

Hakoda paused for a moment before crossing over to his son. He squeezed Sokka's shoulder. "Can't sleep, either?"

"Aang's fever spiked earlier tonight. Katara only just went to sleep."

And Sokka had undoubtedly been watching over both of them. Hakoda braced his hands on the railing and looked up at the moon. The moon's story held significance for all of them, but glancing at Sokka's face, Hakoda guessed that the princess who had become the moon spirit was probably on his mind every time he saw it.

Sokka sighed and turned around. "I'm putting together a list of people I think can help with the new invasion plan. We'll have to go get most of them, if they're willing to help fight, but we have time before the eclipse."

"I think we'll find some help from the Northern Water Tribe, too."

Sokka nodded his agreement. "Yeah." He stared at the ground. "There are these warriors…I would ask them to join us, but…I don't even know where they are. Azula and her friends posed as them to get into Ba Sing Se, and I don't know if that means they were captured, or—" He broke off and closed his eyes.

Hakoda looked down at his son. The silence thick between them, but not uncomfortable. Finally, he said, "It's hard not to know the fate of people you care for."

"We'll find out. We'll make this better." Sokka's hands clenched into fists and he opened his eyes, which were burning with fierce determination. "We have a plan, and—" He stopped, a frown on his face, and his gaze moved beyond Hakoda. "What's that?"

Hakoda turned to see a hawk flying toward the ship. It zoomed down to land on the edge of the boat in front of Hikaru, who looked at the bird in surprise.

"Hakoda! It's a messenger hawk!" Hikaru called.

Hakoda hurried over with Sokka on his heels to see what the message was. Messenger hawks were typically only used by the Fire Nation, and Hakoda wondered if maybe the bird had the right boat, but the wrong people occupying it. However, when Hikaru unrolled the scroll and Hakoda got a glimpse of the lotus-shaped seal on the bottom of the paper, that thought changed.

"What is it?" Pika asked, peering over Hikaru's shoulder.

"I don't know yet. It's in code," Hikaru said. "Looks kind of like the code we use with the Earth Kingdom underground, but…a little different."

"I think I can work it out," Pika said, "and if not, we'll get Notu. He'd crack it in no time."

They didn't need to wake Notu; Pika was able to decode the message after a short time. The message wasn't very long, but when Hakoda read it, it felt as though his insides had frozen over.

_To Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe. Your friend with the boomerang wanted me to tell you she was imprisoned in Ba Sing Se._

_We are working on a plan to get her out._


	25. Awaiting the Dawn

**A/N: **Thank you SO much to ArrayePL, ennui deMorte, things24, Tribun, FireChildSlytherin5, fifth11, Pirate Ninjas of the Abyss, Aristeia, Kimjuni2, Obscure Stranger Angelfly06, kateydidnt, ayameko2TTe, Avatar of Wurms, Fanfiction Fanatiction, and SarahE7191 for reviewing!

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**Chapter Twenty-Five - Awaiting the Dawn**

Ursa wasn't sure how far under Ba Sing Se her prison was. She was led through areas with glowing crystals everywhere, deeper and deeper until she was taken into a tunnel that held a row of cells on either side. It was darker in the tunnel than some of the other areas, since there were only a few luminescent crystals along the floor. The cell she was thrown into was even darker. She could hardly make out the small cot in the corner.

Her Dai Li guard earthbended off the bonds he had put on her wrists and then locked her inside. She rubbed her wrists, staring at the metal walls and the door with its thin grated window, and she tried not to despair.

_There's nothing else I could have done. _She could almost hear the voices of the Water Tribe men in her head, reminding her that as long as she was alive, she couldn't give up.

The footsteps of the Dai Li faded as he walked away from the cell, and Ursa slowly sat on the thin cot. Her mind swirled with thoughts. Azula. Zuko. Hakoda. The Water Tribe fleet.

"What'd they get you for?"

The voice jolted Ursa out of her miserable thoughts, and her head turned to the wall on her left.

"Hello?" the voice came again. It was very young—too young, Ursa thought, to be locked in a cell in the depths of Ba Sing Se.

"Hello," she replied.

"So?" the voice prompted. It was more difficult than usual for Ursa to tell if it belonged to a boy or a girl, but as it continued, she decided it that it sounded more like a girl talking. "Why are you down here?"

"The new ruler of Ba Sing Se didn't like what I had to say," Ursa said quietly.

"Wait. _New_ ruler?"

"I don't know how long you've been in here," Ursa said, "but the Fire Nation has control of the city now."

"_What? _How?"

"That's a very long story." Ursa leaned back against the cold wall. "I'm Ursa. What's your name?"

A moment of silence, and then the voice said, "Smellerbee."

"That's a very interesting name—"

"—for a boy?" Smellerbee shot back sarcastically.

Ursa was certain now. "I was going to say for a girl."

"Huh."

"Smellerbee. What did you do to get put down here?"

"My friend Longshot and I got tossed in here. He's in the cell across from us. You could say we stuck our noses where they weren't wanted." Her tone was hard and bitter. "And we lost our leader before we were put down here. I thought for sure they were gonna brainwash us, but maybe since the Fire Nation took over, they stopped brainwashing? Or maybe we just weren't worth the trouble." She sighed—a very heavy sigh if Ursa could hear it through the metal wall. "We've tried _everything _to get out of here. I don't suppose you have any explosives or something that these lousy Dai Li didn't find on you?"

"Sorry. I'm fresh out of explosives."

"Times like this, I miss The Duke. Ah, well, it was worth asking. But we'll get out of here sometime, won't we, Longshot?"

If there was any discernible answer from the mysterious Longshot, Ursa didn't hear it.

Smellerbee cleared her throat. "So are you going to tell us how the Fire Nation was able to take over Ba Sing Se? However long the story is, we're not exactly going anywhere." There was a brief pause and then she added, "Yet."

:-:-:-:-:

Hakoda watched Appa rise into the night sky with his children, Toph, and their lemur on his back. They were going again…going to find Aang and to lie in wait until the day of the eclipse. Katara turned around on Appa and waved to Hakoda. He waved back as she disappeared into the clouds.

He missed them already.

At least Katara had finally opened up to him before she'd dashed away. Everything she had said to him—her pain and anger at Hakoda leaving the South Pole—had been what Hakoda had suspected was pent up inside of her. Each word and accusation out of Katara's mouth had been a knife to his heart, because he knew he had only done what he could to keep Sokka and Katara safe, but he had also known the hurt it would bring them. He had lost his father at a young age-to death, not because he left, but Hakoda still remembered the anger he had felt that his father wasn't there for him when he needed him. Even if it couldn't be helped, even if it couldn't be changed, the anger had been something he'd had to work through.

So he did understand Katara's feelings, and even though it hurt, he was so very glad that she had finally been able to express them. She had needed it, and Hakoda had needed it, too.

_Because there is no healing without the pain. _Hakoda braced his hands against the rail, his eyes still in the direction where Appa had vanished. Despite everything happening, Hakoda had a measure of serenity that he hadn't had the past weeks in knowing that he had made peace with his daughter.

And he needed that serenity in the weeks that followed his children's departure. The Water Tribe had been left with the task of collecting some of the people that Sokka had thought would be helpful during the invasion. The Fire Nation ship moved faster than the Water Tribe ships ever had, so they were able to go quickly from one place to the next. Even so, Hakoda would have taken his Water Tribe boats over this monster of a ship any day.

Their journey took them to some interesting places—from swamps where Hakoda met some very…_interesting _waterbenders to the Northern Air Temple where he met an eccentric inventor, and there were many other people and places along the way. His children had certainly befriended a wide variety of characters.

Their last stop was the North Pole. There were many volunteers in the Northern Tribe who said they would join the invasion force, but Hakoda had to limit the amount of people he brought. The plans they had to get into the Fire Nation left space for only a certain amount of people.

The Northern Water Tribe gave them a great gift, though: new boats to replace the ones that the Southern Water Tribe had destroyed, and it was on these that Hakoda and those with him set sail to meet up with Sokka, Katara, Aang, and Toph.

Through all of the traveling and preparing, Ursa was constantly on Hakoda's mind. After the one letter from the Order, there had been nothing but silence. He didn't know if the Order had tried to rescue her and had failed, or if they hadn't yet found a way to rescue her. The worst part was not being able to directly do anything to help her; he couldn't rush off to Ba Sing Se and help get her out.

"You're doing the best thing you can to help her." Bato joined him on watch during their last night of sailing to the invasion rendezvous point.

Hakoda closed his fist around an object he had been looking at when Bato approached. It was nearing dawn, and they were nearing their destination.

"When Avatar Aang takes down the Firelord, we'll be able to free all of the prisoners," Bato continued.

Hakoda looked over at him. "I didn't say anything."

Bato smiled wryly. "Of course you didn't. Doesn't mean I don't know what you've been thinking."

Hakoda was quiet. He had to go into this preparing for the worst, but believing for the best. He always had to believe for the best—otherwise, what would have been the point of fighting all this time? They were so close to the end that he could almost see it, but at the same time, the idea of life without a war was so foreign that he didn't know how to imagine it.

Bato leaned against the railing. "You're not going to fail her, Hakoda."

Hakoda's hand clenched tighter around the object in his hand and he looked up at the sky lightening with the coming dawn. And he said to Bato what he wouldn't say to anyone else. "I try not to be afraid of that. I don't always succeed." It was difficult, sometimes, to keep the fear away. There were times when he would think of Kya and how he had been too late to save her, and he knew he would do anything to keep from being too late again.

"I know." Bato pulled away from the rail and clasped Hakoda's shoulder. "It's a new day. Let's go take down the Fire Nation."

As Bato walked away, Hakoda unfolded his fist and looked down at the item in his hand, running his finger over the smooth, round metal that he had been slowly etching with symbols. It was almost finished. It just needed one last thing.

Hakoda reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue ribbon. He hooked it through the etched metal and tied it into a necklace.

Maybe it was foolish to have made a betrothal necklace during the weeks he had been collecting an invasion team. Maybe the endeavor to take down the Firelord and secure the palace would go down in flames. Maybe even if they were successful and he was reunited with Ursa, she wouldn't want a betrothal necklace.

But maybe making it had helped him cling to the hope and determination that he and Ursa had a future. That whether she would accept it or not, he would at least be reunited with her so he could ask.

Hakoda tucked the finished necklace into his pocket and stood at the edge of the boat until they arrived at the meeting point where his children were waiting.

:-:-:-:-:

Ursa had no way to mark the passage of time except by the number of meals brought to her cell. The prisoners were fed twice a day—it seemed to be once in the morning and once in the evening, but Ursa soon lost track of the amount of meals she'd had.

She stretched and exercised in her small cell to keep herself in fighting condition, and to help keep busy. It was all she _could _do, and it was maddening. She wondered and worried about what was happening in the world, what was happening to the people she loved. She didn't hear anything from the guards; they were silent when they brought her food.

In fact, her only company was Smellerbee and Longshot. Ursa had no idea why they were the only prisoners being kept in this particular section of cells. She assumed there must have been other places where prisoners in Ba Sing Se were kept, and perhaps this small, deep, little-used area had been the most convenient place to put Smellerbee and Longshot at the time they were captured.

Smellerbee was the talkative one, but Ursa did finally hear Longshot say one or two things—enough to know he was still breathing. It was from Smellerbee that she learned about their pasts as freedom fighters and then refugees, and their acquaintance with the Avatar's group.

If not for their company, Ursa knew her time in prison would have been far more grueling. Days blurred into weeks. Maybe months. She didn't know. It seemed an endless expanse of time in the never changing almost-darkness.

One day, right after one of the meals had been brought to the cells, Ursa heard footsteps approaching, and she paused in the middle of exercising. In all the time she had been there, the Dai Li who brought the food had never turned around and come back. Maybe it was nothing, but _any _deviation from the ordinary made her pay attention.

Then she heard a voice—one that was familiar, but which she couldn't quite place as it whispered, "Lady Ursa! Lady Ursa, are you here?"

Ursa was on her feet in an instant, crossing to the cell door and peering out into the dim tunnel. There was a man walking quickly down it; he seemed to be wearing the same clothes the Dai Li always wore. "Yes, I'm here."

He hurried to her cell, and as he got close, she made out the features on his face, and relief and hope overwhelmed her. "Ran!" She hadn't seen the young man since he had helped her and Hakoda escape from Zhao's ship, and that seemed several lifetimes ago.

"We haven't much time." Ran reached for her door and Ursa heard the lock sliding. "We have to hurry. There are two others guarding the tunnel, but if we're discovered, we won't be able to get out." The cell door opened, and Ursa stepped out into the tunnel, immediately moving to the next cell.

"Smellerbee—" she began.

"Oh, I'm ready," Smellerbee said.

"Ran, will you let Longshot out?" Ursa motioned to the cell across the tunnel as she opened Smellerbee's door.

The girl who leapt out of the cell was small, bedraggled, and filthy, and Ursa knew she had to look just as bad. But there was a light of determination in Smellerbee's eyes, and Ursa knew she had been waiting all along for this opportunity. Longshot had the same expression on his face when Ran let him out of his cell.

"Come, quickly!" Ran motioned them, and they all followed without hesitation.

When they reached the end of the tunnel, Ursa saw that Gue, the Order member who had helped her when she got to Ba Sing Se, was standing there with a woman. Gue held one of the glowing crystals in his hand. Ursa had time only to see that the woman was about her own age before they were all urging Ursa and her two fellow prisoners to move back through the catacombs a short way. Then they cut into a small side tunnel. As soon as they were all inside, the woman jutted her hands out and closed the opening with earthbending.

"We have a long way to climb to the surface," the woman whispered as she turned to look at Ursa, Smellerbee, and Longshot, "through several different tunnels, and you must be as quiet as you can."

The pathways led upward sometimes, and then there were periods where they had to go sideways before they went up again. Finally, the woman who was in the lead stopped when the path ended, and then broke through the earthen wall barring their path.

Sunlight poured into the hole she had created, and Ursa immediately closed her eyes. It was far, far too bright. She felt fingers on her arm, and heard Ran's voice saying, "I'll help you—it will be a while before your vision adjusts. You've been in the darkness for a long time."

The next part of the journey was a lot fuzzier. Ursa couldn't see where she was going; every time she cracked open her eyes, the sunlight blinded her, and she had to rely on Ran to guide her. It wasn't long before she was being lifted into something, and there was no longer sunlight pouring onto her face. She blinked her eyes open slowly and discovered that she was sitting in the back of a covered wagon. Longshot and Smellerbee were being assisted into it behind her, blinking and squinting as much as she was. But at least in here it was not as bright and her eyes could adjust.

The little bit of extra light gave was enough to give her a fuller scope of what a disaster she, Smellerbee, and Longshot were from their stint in prison. They were caked with dirt—Ursa could no longer tell that her robes were red; they looked brown. What skin wasn't completely dirty was pale from the lack of sunlight. She didn't know how thin Smellerbee and Longshot had been before being arrested, but they were both skin and bones, and she imagined she looked much the same.

Ran and the woman jumped into the back of the wagon, and it started moving. "Here." Ran pulled out a water pouch and passed it to Ursa. She thanked him and downed some of the water, then handed it to Smellerbee.

"Thank you for getting us out," Ursa said.

"I'm sorry it took us so long," Ran replied.

"I've never seen the Dai Li take such strong measures to keep outsiders away from that prison you were in," the woman said. "It took us weeks just to find out exactly where they had put you in Ba Sing Se. For a while, we weren't even sure you _were _still in Ba Sing Se. Then it took us a while to find a way in. The Dai Li have defenses set up against earthbending into certain areas unless they want someone to come in so they can trap them. They went all out to keep people away from your prison." She shook her head, her short black hair bobbing around her cheeks. "I'm Lu Lin. Gue is my father." She nodded toward the front of the wagon.

"We had a dozen members of the Order working to find a way to rescue you," Ran explained. "We'll be going to a safe house in the city. The Dai Li will be looking for you soon."

Ursa rolled onto her knees. "Please, I need to get in touch with the Southern Water Tribe as soon as possible. I—" She stopped when she saw the expressions on Ran and Lu Lin's faces as they exchanged glances. Dread swept over her and the fear squeezed her heart. "What is it?" Her voice came out as a whisper. "What happened?" _Oh, spirits, don't let them have been killed. Please, please, please, let them be alive…_

"The Southern Water Tribe was captured and imprisoned in the Fire Nation about a week ago, Lady Ursa," Ran told her quietly.

Ursa sank back, a little relief creeping over the dread. She was still worried, but as she knew better than anyone, captured was still _alive_.

"I'll explain everything when we get to the safe house, Lady Ursa. I promise." Ran shot a glance at Smellerbee and Longshot, and Ursa knew he was concerned about sharing too much in front of people he didn't know.

Smellerbee scoffed. "Hey, you just got us out of prison. We're not gonna go spilling your secrets."

"Please," Ursa said, "at least tell me if you know how the Water Tribe was captured."

She listened to Ran explain about an eclipse and attempted invasion into the heart of the Fire Nation, and in the back of her mind, a whispered mantra was repeating, as though she wasn't sure she really believed it and was trying to convince herself.

_They're alive. They're alive. They're in prison, but they're alive._ _They're going to be all right. They're going to be all right._

And an even smaller voice begged, _please let them be all right._


	26. The Missing Piece

**A/N: **Thank you to Aristeia, FireChildSlytherin5, Avatar of Wurms, Caellach Tiger Eye, Kimjuni2, Metella, ArrayePL, Sarah, and Pirate Ninjas of the Abyss for reviewing!

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**Chapter Twenty-Six - The Missing Piece**

The invasion had failed. Hakoda and the rest of the invasion team were imprisoned close to the Fire Nation palace. Even then, Hakoda clung to hope for the future. His children were still free with Avatar Aang. They could still win this war. They _would _win this war.

Everything Hakoda had—all of his Water Tribe accoutrements, even his clothing—were taken and he was given prison clothes. The only thing he had wanted to save, he had pressed into Sokka's hand right before sending him away on Appa. The betrothal necklace had been in a pouch, so he didn't know if Sokka would open it and find out what was inside, but Hakoda had simply asked him, "Please hold onto this for me."

Sokka had nodded in determination and pocketed the pouch, saying, "I'll get it back to you soon. I promise."

The prisoners had a chance to mingle with each other during certain times of the day, including when they were given small bowls of some kind of gruel. Hakoda met some interesting people during these times; he even met a group of young warrior women who said they knew his children.

There was one particular woman at the prison that Hakoda met during one of their dinners. He had just sat down on the ground with his food, and she came to his attention as she hobbled slowly in the line, waiting for her meal. She was a very small old woman with a knot of white hair pinned up neatly on top of her head. She looked like she was having a hard time walking, and when the soldiers shoved a bowl of gruel into her hands, it slipped through her fingers before she had a good grip on it.

After it spilled all over the ground, the guard loudly said, "You should have been more careful. You're not getting any more!"

Hakoda stood to his feet, holding his bowl carefully in one hand, and walked over to the old woman as she slowly made her way out of the line. When he got closer, he realized she probably couldn't see very well, if at all. Her eyes were filmy.

"Here." He spoke to her as he reached for her arm with his free hand so he wouldn't startle her. "Allow me."

Despite her fragile appearance, her grip on his arm was surprisingly firm. He led her over to the wall of the prison and helped her sit down. Then he set his bowl of gruel in her hands, making sure she had a good hold on it before he let go. "Eat this."

She turned her face toward him and squinted. "_You _need to keep up your strength, young man."

"I couldn't eat that knowing you would be without," he replied. "Please accept it."

"I will." She carefully began to spoon the gruel into her mouth, and when the bowl was empty, she said, "Thank you very much—"

"Hakoda," he supplied.

"Hakoda. A Water Tribe name. I had heard that there were Water Tribe people here now. Thank you, Hakoda. I'm Misaki."

Hakoda froze and stared at the woman. "You wouldn't be Misaki from Huang, would you?" he asked slowly.

"The very same," she said, "but I don't believe we've ever met. I would remember such a fine young man."

"No, we haven't, but I've heard a lot about you from Ursa."

Misaki's eyes grew huge, and she grasped Hakoda's arm. "You know Ursa? When was the last time you saw her?"

"A couple of months ago. I met her the night you were captured in Huang." He told her that his tribe had been on a mission to learn about spies in the Earth Kingdom and how they had come across Ursa when she was being chased by one of these spies. He explained that she had been traveling with the Water Tribe after that, but that she had gone to Ba Sing Se as soon as it fell to the Fire Nation. "I received a message from the Order of the White Lotus that she had been captured and they were working on a way to get her out. But that was weeks before I was captured and I heard nothing from them."

"The Order…if you're speaking freely of it—"

"Ursa and I have had conversations with General Xu. Ursa found a white lotus tile in your house the night you disappeared. She carried it with her everywhere."

Misaki's hold on him loosened slightly and Hakoda saw a glimmer of tears in her eyes. "I have been so worried for her. I suspected when the Fire Nation came for me that there had been a leak in our underground, and I had no chance to warn her." She leaned back against the wall. "Fear not," she added, patting Hakoda's shoulder, "if the Order has taken Ursa's current imprisonment into their hands, then we must hope and trust that she will be rescued in time. After all, we are not in such a different position, are we? Now, there is much you're not saying, Hakoda of the Water Tribe. Why don't you fill me in on these months that Ursa was with your tribe?"

Hakoda was quiet for a moment, trying to figure how to start. He finally went back to the night he had met Ursa and relived the months that followed. He told her of General Ling's army base, Zhao, the escape, Ursa's decision to learn to fight, the journey to the North Pole, the time in Chameleon Bay. He skimmed through it quickly, leaving out personal details, but Misaki proved very perceptive.

"You love her very much," she said, patting Hakoda's arm.

"Yes."

"I see. I—"

Before Misaki had time to say anything else, a prison guard came up to Hakoda and Misaki and motioned to Hakoda. "You. Come with us."

Hakoda glared up at him. He took his time to stand to his feet, but didn't move beyond that. "Where am I going?"

Fire burst to life in the guard's hand. "I said _move_."

Hakoda didn't flinch. Behind the guard, he saw some of the other Water Tribe men standing to their feet. He didn't want to get them into trouble for his sake, so he took a step toward the guard, but repeated, "_Where _am I going?"

The guard prodded Hakoda forward. "You're the leader of this pathetic Water Tribe, so you're being transferred to another prison. You think you have it rough here? Wait until you get to the Boiling Rock."

:-:-:-:-:

At the safe house in Ba Sing Se, Lu Lin immediately took Ursa to a back room and filled a metal tub with water. It was freezing, but Ursa didn't care—washing off weeks of grime and sweat was the best feeling in the world. By the time she dressed in the Earth Kingdom robes Lu Lin gave her, she felt like a new person.

"And I believe this is yours, as well." Lu Lin gave her the bag she had brought to Ba Sing Se. "My father kept it safe for you."

Ursa opened the bag and pulled out her boomerang. She ran a hand over it, wondering why _now_ she suddenly felt like crying. She took a steadying breath and said, "Thank you." She strapped the boomerang on and felt more like herself than she had in weeks. Underneath the boomerang was the scroll she had written for Hakoda in the event that she died, and she pushed it to the bottom of her bag and covered it with Water Tribe robes tucked inside.

As Lu Lin emptied and refilled the tub, she gave Ursa further details on what had been happening around Ba Sing Se and what the Order had been doing to help keep the citizens safe. "We know that the Avatar is still out there, and we believe he's working to master firebending, but we don't know where he is or if he found anyone to teach him. So we do what we can and wait for him to be ready." She motioned to Ursa. "Come. We have food prepared."

Ursa followed Lu Lin back to the main part of the house to find Ran and Gue sitting at a table with Smellerbee and Longshot, all of them finishing a meal. While Lu Lin took Smellerbee for the next bath, Ran placed a plate of food on the table for Ursa.

She didn't have a chance to speak freely until after Longshot had cleaned and changed, and he and Smellerbee retreated to the back room to talk, and Ursa was faced with the three members of the Order. The first thing she did was turn to Ran. "Do you know what Zuko and Azula have been doing?"

"Last I knew, they were in the Fire Nation. I'm sorry, I haven't been back home for some time now," Ran said. "I moved to Ba Sing Se when the Fire Nation troops came to occupy it, so I connected with the Order of the White Lotus here in the city. That's how I found out you were in prison, and I did everything I could to help get you out."

"Ran was the one who confirmed for us the truth of what I heard you say to the Dai Li," Gue spoke up. "That you _are _the prince and princess's mother. Knowing that, we realized it was crucial to try to rescue you."

Ursa looked at him, searching his face for the meaning in those words. She folded her hands on the table and carefully said, "I am very grateful to all of you. I know it was difficult. But I don't know what it is you expect from me. I did what I could to see my children and convince them that this war is wrong. I didn't have a chance to see my son, but my daughter had me locked away."

"I apologize if I gave you the impression that we wanted to use you. You are, of course, free to do whatever you would like. But none of us, not even our Fire Nation members—" Gue waved at Ran "—had any idea of the circumstances surrounding your disappearance from the Fire Nation or how you came to be a friend of the Order. We had no idea if you would be in a position that your husband and children would try to use you."

"Former husband," Ursa said tiredly, "and no, I don't think they would be able to use me against any of you. And before you ask, I do not believe I'll be able to offer you any intelligence to use against Ozai. I think those members of the Order who are Fire Nation would have far more intelligence than I would about anything."

Gue nodded slowly. "I see."

"Still, it was better to be safe," Lu Lin put in, "and if nothing else, maybe our rescue of you will inconvenience our enemies."

"It also gives us another ally who is free to work with us," Gue said. "So let us talk about what you would do next, Lady Ursa."

"Ursa. Please, just Ursa." She stared down at her hands. What would she do next? Hakoda and the others were imprisoned, and she knew how unlikely a rescue would be. She didn't even know _what _prison they would be in—perhaps the Boiling Rock, or the prison near the palace, or…there were a lot of places where the Water Tribe could have been taken, and she knew, thinking about it practically, she couldn't do anything about it.

The best thing she could do for now was to aid these people who had helped her as much as she could—to wait to hear when they were going to move against the Fire Nation and to join them. Whatever went down between the Avatar and the Firelord, she expected the Order would be in the thick of it. They seemed to be in the thick of everything else.

"Where would I be the most helpful?" she asked. "I realize that I'll have to keep a low profile so that I won't be found, but I don't want to sit around doing _nothing_." She needed to help, to do something, anything to keep occupied.

"What are your skills?" Gue returned.

"In recent months I've been fighting with the Southern Water Tribe, but I spent many years before that running an inn that I also used to aid the Earth Kingdom underground."

Gue nodded in consideration. "I need to let the others who helped plan your rescue know that you're safe, but I think we might have just the job for you. But if you get caught again—"

"I know. I've used up my allotment of rescues." Ursa shot a look at Ran as she said this, and he smiled at her.

_It's probably too much to hope that Hakoda and the others find the same fortune I did in being rescued. At least not until the war is over._

It was just one more reason to do everything she could to help it end.

:-:-:-:-:

Hakoda had fully expected the Boiling Rock to be much worse than his previous prison. In his cell, loneliness and frustration had been threatening to overwhelm him when one of the best and most surprising things had come along: Sokka.

And with Sokka came a fresh wave of new hope. He had brought with him someone that Hakoda had never expected to meet, at least not on this side of the war. When Sokka had told him that Prince Zuko was working with him, he had been very skeptical. But he had faith in Sokka, so he accepted his son's word that Zuko was on their side now.

Then there was Suki. Hakoda had realized before he even met the leader of the Kyoshi warriors that she was very important to Sokka just from the way he talked about her. Through their escape from the Boiling Rock, as Hakoda watched Suki leap and clamber up several levels to take the warden hostage, he began to see what a very talented young lady she was. Then when they escaped the Boiling Rock and stole Princess Azula's airship, he saw their affection for each other as they sat in the balloon holding hands.

His son had grown up in more ways than one, it seemed.

"We'll be going to the Western Air Temple," Sokka told Hakoda as the airship sailed along above the ocean. "It shouldn't take too long to get here in this thing."

"I'm still amazed we pulled that off," Suki said with a shake of her head.

Zuko folded his arms. "Yeah, no kidding."

"You know—" Suki hesitated, then plunged on "—it was their fault I was in prison. Azula and her friends. But then that one—Mai? She just saved us. I wonder why."

Sokka looked at Zuko, and Zuko looked down, his expression darkening. "She is…was…my girlfriend," he muttered.

Suki's eyes widened. "Oh," she said softly. "Oh."

Everything had happened so fast at the Boiling Rock that Hakoda still almost couldn't believe he was safe. But he _was, _and now that he was out of prison, there were so many things he needed to do, to find out, to talk to his children about, but at that moment, he was content to just rest and watch Sokka and his friends (and the one random prisoner who had escaped with them).

His eyes were drawn to Zuko more than once on the journey to the Western Air Temple. There was something vaguely familiar about him, though he couldn't put a finger on what. Hakoda wondered what had driven the prince of the Fire Nation to betray his family and his nation and join the Avatar's group. He would ask later; right now, Zuko seemed to have enough on his mind.

"Dad."

Hakoda turned to Sokka, who was pulling something out of his pocket. It was the pouch with the betrothal necklace inside.

"I don't know what it is, but I kept it safe for you." Sokka pressed it into Hakoda's hand. "I promised I'd get it back to you soon."

Hakoda's fingers clasped around it. "Thank you, Sokka." He tucked it into his pocket. A promise, yes. A promise and a reminder of so many things.

_Ursa…_

He would find out if she was free. He would get in touch with the Order—maybe he could contact General Xu and see if he had any information.

Eventually, the airship reached the Western Air Temple, and Hakoda was reunited with another member of his family. As he held Katara and Sokka tightly in his arms, he wondered how many more times he would be separated from them before this was over.

Shortly after they arrived at the Western Air Temple, Hakoda joined his children and their friends for supper and listened to them talking and laughing. It was a wondrous thing to observe—it was the first time he had seen all of them together, safe and healthy and not preparing to invade the Fire Nation palace. It was incredible to have a chance to see that despite everything they had been going through, they could still laugh and tease each other.

He needed to sit his children down and have a very long talk with them about what his life had been like the past few years. He wondered how they would take hearing about Ursa. He had always been more concerned with what Katara's reaction would be than with how Sokka would take the news.

Before he could decide whether to talk to them that evening or to wait until morning and allow them to have a few hours of contentment, Katara made the decision for him. She fell asleep with her back curled up against his leg. The sun was only just starting to go down, and he didn't have the heart to wake her. In the morning, then.

Hakoda ran gentle fingers over Katara's hair, studying her peacefully sleeping face. He glanced over at Sokka, who was sitting with some of the other young people and laughing with them.

"Tea?"

Hakoda looked at Zuko, holding out a tray with cups of steaming tea on it. "Thank you." Hakoda took a cup, but before Zuko could move on, said, "Can we talk?"

Zuko paused and looked at Hakoda a little warily. "Okay." He knelt down on the side of Hakoda not occupied by Katara's sleeping body and set his tea tray on the ground beside him.

"I never had the chance to thank you. Sokka didn't tell me much about how you ended up here, but I can imagine it was a difficult choice."

"You have no idea." Zuko crossed his arms and tilted his head. There was something about it that triggered that sense of déjà vu in Hakoda, the same familiarity that he had been glimpsing all day. "I don't deserve your gratitude." He glanced at Katara, then over at Sokka before meeting Hakoda's eyes again. "It shouldn't have taken me so long to make this decision."

"But you did make it, and that's the important thing." It was his eyes, Hakoda finally realized. His not-quite-brown, almost gold eyes. More than that. The shape of his nose, the way one corner of his mouth turned slightly upward.

A surreal, tingling sensation swept over him as he stared at Zuko. Hakoda's voice was remarkably calm, though his heart was racing, as Zuko rose and reclaimed his tray of tea. "Zuko."

The boy looked down at him with those eyes. With _her_ eyes.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

Zuko's good eye narrowed slightly, but he gave a short nod.

"We hear about Firelord Ozai all the time, but I don't think I've ever heard a word about your mother."

Zuko stiffened, his knuckles growing white as he clenched the tray. He looked upset, visibly shaken, and Hakoda almost regretted bringing it up, but he had to know. "No," Zuko said stiffly. "She's not often mentioned."

"Did something happen to her?"

Zuko swallowed. He hesitated, then slowly sat back down. "I…don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Why do you want to know this?" Zuko countered, looking put off and more than a little wary.

_Because I think I might know your mother. I think she may be the woman I love. _"I was curious about what sort of woman she was. It would seem that given your situation, you probably had someone who was a good influence on you."

Zuko's shoulders relaxed a little. "My uncle," he said. "My uncle helped me get to the right path. But…yeah. I guess you could say that my mother helped build the road." He was quiet, and then he said, "I thought she was dead. She disappeared when I was a kid. I didn't understand what had happened until my father told me." His mouth twisted and he shook his head. "He said she was banished. I don't know if that's true or not. My father's pretty good at getting people to believe what he wants."

Hakoda was growing more certain with every passing second. There were still questions, all of those things that hadn't made sense to him when he had previously considered the possibility that Ursa had been married to the Firelord. They still didn't make sense. "Why would the Firelord banish his own wife?" he asked carefully.

Zuko's eyes darkened. "Because of me," he finally said. "My family—it's not exactly what you'd call close. You saw my sister." His eyes flickered from Hakoda down to Katara and back up. "I should be dead. If it wasn't for my mother, I _would _be. My father was going to kill me." The pain and bitterness were thick in his voice.

Hakoda stared at Zuko, not sure how to respond to that—not sure if there _was _a response to that. Pieces of a broken puzzle began to fall into place as words that Ursa had spoken flooded through his memory.

_"He knew about the threat to our son."_

_"… if he suspects for even one moment that I've broken our bargain…"_

_"I did what I had to do to protect my children. And my husband disowned me because my bargain made me dangerous to him."_

Zuko's gaze was unfocused, his mind somewhere else. "My grandfather, Firelord Azulon, died the night my mother disappeared. My father implied that my mother had something to do with my grandfather's death, so she was banished. My father was named Firelord. That's all he ever wanted. That power. That control. He was willing to destroy his family for it. And look what he's done with it. He's destroying the world."

And there it was. The missing puzzle piece, the part that clicked everything into place. Because in all of Hakoda's guessing and musing, he had never considered that Ursa's husband could be the same man who had been threatening her son.

It took Hakoda a moment to find his voice as the implications of this realigned everything he thought he knew. "But you're fighting to stop him."

"I have to stop him." Zuko frowned deeply, and then sighed. "Is that all?"

"Just one more thing. What's your mother's name?"

Zuko stood. "Ursa," he said. "Her name is Ursa."


	27. Reunion

**A/N: **Thank you so much to all you reviewers: Terina00, Meerkatgirl13, ArrayePL, Lance Murdock, Aussie-Muggle, things24, Aristeia, FireChildSlytherin5, ennui deMorte, Sarah, Kimjuni2, JFAPOI, ayameko, jayma, Avatar of Wurms, RDF-73, and Obscure Stranger

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Seven - Reunion**

Hakoda lay awake that night long after everyone had fallen asleep, staring up at the stone roof of the temple. Everything he had just learned ran in circles around his head while he sorted out what it all meant.

_"There was someone who wanted to use my son as means to an end. They were going to kill him. I struck a bargain to save him."_

Firelord Ozai. Her husband. Her husband had been going to kill their son. She had struck a bargain with the Ozai to save Zuko. Had it been a bargain to kill the previous Firelord in exchange for Zuko's life?

He turned his head to where Zuko was sleeping. All of the little stories that Ursa had told Hakoda about her children became so much more real now that he had faces to put with them. Azula had burned the doll her uncle had given her. Zuko had accidentally set his bed on fire during a nightmare. So many little tales, and all along, every time anyone had mentioned the Firelord or his kids, Ursa hadn't said anything.

He could have felt angry or betrayed by her silence, but he didn't. Even when he hadn't understood, even when she had left and hadn't told him why, he had chosen, every step of the way, to give Ursa his unconditional trust and acceptance. He had _told _her that he wasn't asking for hers. It hadn't meant it was always easy. Letting her leave for Ba Sing Se without arguing and questioning had been one of the hardest things he had ever done. And though he thought it would have made it easier on everyone if she had been completely forthright, he knew that she'd had to go her own pace. She'd had to know that someone could take her for everything she was before she could give anything back in return.

Hakoda rubbed the bridge of his nose. Ursa had told him as much of the truth as she felt was safe for her children, and he could understand her fear. He could understand her nightmares and her agony. What must it have been like for her to have to leave her children with the very man threatening them? Just the thought of it made him ache for what she had faced and for what she had been living with for so long.

_"You asked who burned me, Hakoda? It was him." _

This had even more impact now that he knew Firelord Ozai was the one who responsible. The Firelord had always been a figure of power, one that struck hatred, anger, or fear—sometimes all three—into those fighting against him. But somehow, knowing Ursa as Hakoda did, it put a much clearer face on Ozai. Ozai was no longer just the Firelord who ruthlessly conquered the other nations. He was the man who had burned the woman Hakoda loved, the man who had harmed and coerced his family and had been willing to murder his son.

And suddenly, the war was ten times more personal for him than it had already been.

Hakoda shifted, tucking his arms behind his head and staring upward again. What if Ursa had made a different choice? If she had stood aside while her husband killed her son, then Ozai still could have become Firelord. The Avatar would be short a firebending teacher. Hakoda and his men would probably be dead, because Ursa wouldn't have been around to warn them of the trap in Chameleon Bay. Hakoda would still be in prison. And who knew how much else would have changed?

On the other side of the coin was Ursa's daughter. From what he had seen, she had become the perfect Fire Nation soldier. Would that have been different if Ursa hadn't been forced to leave? Would her influence have changed Azula and shaped her to go down a different path, or would Azula always have ended up where she was?

He couldn't know, of course, but the more he ran over and over it in his mind, the more he knew that if Ursa _hadn't _made the choices that she had, not only would the world probably be far worse off, but she wouldn't be the woman he knew. She had only been trying to protect what she loved, and she'd had to face the most powerful man in the Fire Nation to do it. She had been almost killed several times because of it. She had been captured and injured by her own countrymen because of it.

His gaze moved again at Zuko. He had more in common with his mother than he could know. Banished, considered a traitor, having made difficult decisions to fight against his country. And Hakoda wondered, as he looked at Zuko's scar, if Ursa had been the only one burned by Ozai.

It seemed Sokka and Katara wouldn't be the only ones Hakoda would be speaking to in the morning. He needed to tell Zuko all he could about his mother—he needed to tell all three of them everything.

Wouldn't _that _be a fun conversation.

It took Hakoda a long time to go to sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Ursa, couldn't stop imagining what all of this must have been like for her, the terror and pain and shame that had come to her because of Ozai and Firelord Azulon.

Hakoda didn't remember falling asleep, but he woke up because the temple was being attacked. A family visit, Zuko said as he ran toward the danger.

And Hakoda was once again separated from his children as their group was forced to split up, some of them staying with Appa while Hakoda and the others fled for the airship. Leaving, again, no time for him to tell Sokka and Katara about his life. Leaving no time to tell Zuko about his mother. Leaving Hakoda to once more trust that his children would take care of each other and that he would see them soon.

"What are we going to do now?" Haru asked as the airship sailed away from the Western Air Temple.

Hakoda looked around at the passengers: Haru, Teo, The Duke, and Chit Sang. "I have to get in touch with the Earth Kingdom army." More particularly, with General Xu. He would have a good idea of what the army and the Order of the White Lotus were doing. And… "I have someone I need to find."

:-:-:-:-:

It was several days before Hakoda arrived in Ba Sing Se with Teo and The Duke. The two youngest of the company had chosen to stay with him for the time being, while both Haru and Chit Sang had volunteered their services to General Xu. If the general thought it odd that an escaped firebending prisoner was willing to fight for the Earth Kingdom, he didn't say anything.

General Xu had been able to offer Hakoda the information he sought, and it was the best news Hakoda could have hoped for. Xu had even arranged a way to sneak Hakoda and his two young companions into Ba Sing Se by putting them in a hidden compartment built into the bottom of a wagon.

"We've been using it to sneak people in and out of Ba Sing Se as needed," General Xu had explained. "The citizens have to have supplies brought in and out, and we just…add a few people here and there. This is the house you'll want to go to." He had shown Hakoda the right place on a map, and Hakoda had committed it to memory.

Once inside of Ba Sing Se, the driver of the wagon opened the hidden compartment. Hakoda and The Duke jumped out, and after The Duke set up Teo's wheelchair, Hakoda helped Teo into it.

"Pipsqueak and I thought about coming here for a while," The Duke informed Hakoda as he turned around and observed the buildings. "But Pipsqueak didn't wanna be in a big city."

"A big city" was an understatement. As Hakoda began to navigate through the streets, he wondered how long it would take him to find the right section of the city, let alone the right building. It was a good thing he had spent so much of his life navigating or he would have been completely lost.

It still took a long time to find the right part of Ba Sing Se, and as they were searching for the right house, it was The Duke who said, "Didn't you say it was supposed to have red flowers?" He waved at one house crammed in between many others, and Hakoda spotted the red flowers in pots beside the front door.

Taking a deep breath, Hakoda walked up to the house, praying that General Xu's information hadn't changed and that this was the right place. He knocked on the door, and it was opened by a young woman who appeared several years older than Katara. She looked between the three of them. "Yes? Can I help you?"

Hakoda held up a white lotus tile that General Xu had given him. "I'm looking for Ursa. I was told she's—"

"_Hakoda_?"

Ursa appeared behind the young woman, who quickly stepped out of the way. Ursa stared at him, her face pale, and then launched herself through the door and wrapped her arms around his neck so tightly he could hardly breathe.

Hakoda closed his eyes and held her just as hard. He had no words to express his relief and gratitude that after so many weeks of wondering and imprisonment and fear, she _was _here, and she was safe and whole. He had thought he had been aware of how much he missed her, but finally seeing her, holding her, he realized that the full weight of it hadn't hit him until now.

She finally drew back and looked at Teo and The Duke. "They're with me," Hakoda said. "This is The Duke, and this is Teo."

"Please, come in. Mila," she said to the young woman who had answered the door, "would you take these two young gentlemen to the kitchen and get them something to eat?"

"We have some catching up to do," Hakoda added.

When they left the room, Hakoda and Ursa turned back to each other, and then she was in his arms again, her lips meeting his, warm and wanting and relieved. "I have been," she whispered between kisses, "so terrified for you." She grasped his arms. "What happened, Hakoda? How did you escape? Are the others still in prison?"

"Yes. The rest of the Water Tribe is imprisoned near the palace, but I was singled out as their leader and sent to the Boiling Rock."

Ursa's eyes widened. "You…escaped from the Boiling Rock?" she said slowly.

"Yes. With outside help from my son…and yours."

She stared at him with incomprehension, and it was several seconds before she managed even one word. "What?"

"I met Zuko, Ursa."

Ursa's legs gave out and she dropped to her knees. Hakoda knelt in front of her, allowing her to process the implications of this statement. "You met…" she began, her voice hoarse. "You…" She took a deep breath. "You know, then."

"That your husband was Firelord Ozai?" he said gently. "Yes. An arranged marriage, if I recall."

Ursa covered her face with her hands and tried to say something, but her words caught in her throat and all that came out was a strangled noise.

"I started to figure it out after watching Zuko for a little while. He looks a lot like you. When I asked him about his mother, I pieced together the rest."

Her head shot up, and the words finally came out like a floodgate had been opened. "Is he safe? If he helped you escape, does this mean he's not with the Fire Nation? Where is he?"

"He was safe the last I saw him. We were forced to separate when we were attacked at the Western Air Temple where we were staying. I hadn't yet told him that I met you. He's with the Avatar, Ursa. He's teaching Aang firebending. He told me he has to stop his father from destroying the world." Hakoda told her the rest, then—told her everything of his conversation with Zuko.

"He knows." Ursa braced her hands on her knees and squeezed her eyes shut. "He's not under Ozai's thumb anymore. Oh, dear spirits, he's safe. He's free. He's _free_." Tears leaked out from her closed eyelids, and then suddenly she was crying unlike Hakoda had ever seen her cry. She had held out through everything, remained so outwardly strong when filled with so much fear and doubt and brokenness, and he could only imagine how liberating this news was for her.

At the end of the hallway, he noticed three curious faces peer out from the door, but then Mila dragged the other two out of view.

Hakoda reached out for Ursa. She pressed her face into his shoulder, still weeping.

"Ursa! Are you okay?" The voice was unfamiliar, and Hakoda froze as he had a long blade pointed at him. The person on the other end of it had rushed into the room so quietly he hadn't even heard footsteps. "_You! _Who are you? What did you do to her?"

"It's all right!" Ursa leaned back, tears still pouring down her face, but motioning to the person—a girl, Hakoda thought—to lower her weapon.

The girl's weapon moved away and she eyed Hakoda suspiciously. Then her eyes widened. "Is this Hakoda?"

"Yes." Ursa rubbed a hand across her face. "It is. Hakoda, this is—"

_"Smellerbee?" _

The girl turned toward the doorway where Teo and The Duke had gone and saw The Duke's face peering out of it. Her voice was equally disbelieving when she said, "_The Duke_? What are you doing here?" She dashed off toward him.

Ursa turned back to Hakoda. "Smellerbee," she said, as if that explained everything. Her tears had finally stopped, and she wiped her face again. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Hakoda took her hand and held it between his own. "We've had a lot of conversations about not apologizing for things that aren't your fault," he pointed out.

"This _is_ my fault. You know that now. You know that I killed…Hakoda, I killed Firelord Azulon. I killed my father-in-law." The words were again tumbling quickly out of her mouth, as though she needed to say it even if he already knew. "He had ordered Ozai to kill Zuko."

_That _was something Hakoda had not known, but he couldn't bring himself to be surprised. So it hadn't just been Ozai insisting Ursa do away with his father. His father had wanted Zuko dead. It was just one more atrocity to add on to the misdeeds of the Firelords.

"Ozai was going to do it. He…he had always thought Zuko was weak and untalented, especially compared to Azula. He was going to kill him, and I was too late to stop him. I was too late to realize what was happening and to get my children away from him. I did the only thing I could. I helped—I helped Ozai become Firelord by killing his father. It was…" The tears slid silently down her face. "It was the most horrible, shameful thing I have ever done. I am responsible for putting Ozai on the throne. _I am_."

Hakoda's hands tightened around hers as she continued, "And Ozai burned me to warn me what would happen if I failed or broke my bargain. He could have killed me, but maybe…maybe something of what we had once shared was there enough that he banished me instead. I think he believed that if I stayed, I would kill him." Her eyes met Hakoda's, and she said, "And I can't say that I wouldn't have."

"Ursa…if Ozai wanted the throne that badly, he would have found a way to do it even without involving you. You defended your children because they couldn't defend themselves." Hakoda moved one of his hands and brushed his fingers against her cheek. "You did what you had to do protect your family. Your family was just a lot more influential than I had realized. Who would have thought that the Firelord would have ever been married to Avatar Roku's granddaughter?"

Ursa rubbed her face and then searched Hakoda's eyes. "You aren't…" She trailed off, but he heard the uncertainty in her voice, and she had an expression on her face that he had seen once before—the first night they had been together in the North Pole, when she had looked at him afterward as though afraid he was going to cast her aside.

He met her eyes steadily and smiled as he cupped her cheek in one hand. "I told you once that you could tell me anything without fear that I would betray you or your trust. That hasn't changed, Ursa. That won't ever change."

Tears again filled her eyes. "I have…no more secrets." She blinked a couple of times, as if that thought was completely foreign. "I promised the next time I saw you, I would tell you everything. That was it." She took a deep breath and let out. "There's still so much I want to know."

Hakoda nodded his agreement. "We have a lot to talk about."

:-:-:-:-:

They made themselves comfortable and talked for a long time about everything that had happened since they had parted in Chameleon Bay. Ursa had not thought she could be any more relieved than when she saw Hakoda on the doorstep, but that had been doubled when she learned about Zuko, and then tripled when Hakoda told her he had spoken to Misaki in prison. Misaki was alive. She was still holding on.

_Of course she is. _

Ursa caught Hakoda up on her time in Ba Sing Se, starting with Azula imprisoning her. "I couldn't help her, Hakoda. I couldn't get her to listen to me. I understand why. But it hurts so much to see what she is now. I'm not giving up on her. I'll never give up on her."

"I know."

After a moment of silence, she continued, filling him in on her imprisonment in the catacombs with Smellerbee and Longshot. "Longshot is out with Ran at the moment. They're helping two refugees get out of the city."

"General Xu said that you had been tasked with helping refugees, but he didn't give me many details," Hakoda said.

Ursa nodded. "This house belongs to Mila. She happens to be engaged to our friend Ran, who stays here, as well. They're both members of the Order, and in charge of running this house as part of the chain in Ba Sing Se."

Hakoda raised an eyebrow at her, and she explained, "The Order has been establishing safe houses all around the city, where members of the Order can come and go. All of the houses have hidden areas. Mila is an earthbender, and she has a room under this house that's concealed. We're using it to store supplies that members of the Order sneak into Ba Sing Se. Food, water, weapons—the Order of the White Lotus is anticipating a time when they will retake Ba Sing Se. With Sozin's Comet coming at the end of summer, there's a lot of activity and planning going on."

"General Xu mentioned as much."

"Not only that," Ursa continued, "but there are times we have to move refugees out of the city because of various circumstances. We hide refugees here until we can sneak them out. There have only been two since I was here, and they're the ones that Ran and Longshot are helping right now. We have to be careful, of course, because if the Dai Li spot us, we'll end up in prison again, but we all wanted to help. Smellerbee and Longshot didn't have anywhere to go, and we got very comfortable with each other after spending so much time in prison together, so they decided to stay with me. I think it's been an adjustment for them to realize that not everyone from the Fire Nation is fighting against them. A good adjustment."

When Ran and Longshot returned safely from assisting the refugees, Ran greeted Hakoda and his tagalongs enthusiastically. "Of course you can stay here. We have plenty of room, and we welcome all the aid we can get," Ran said as they all sat down to eat supper. "After supper, I'll get you some supplies and new clothes for your stay here."

That night, Ursa moved things around her tiny room to make space for the supplies and clothes Ran got for Hakoda. "It's not much," she told Hakoda as she sat on the edge of the bed, "but it beats a cave in the snowy mountains."

Hakoda grinned and sat down beside her, his eyes sweeping around her few meager belongings. "It certainly does." Then his intense eyes were on her, and she vaguely wondered how he could always make her breath catch just by looking at her that way.

"I still can't quite believe you're here," she said, brushing her fingers over his scruffy cheek.

He caught her hand and pulled her close, kissing her slowly. She rested her hands on his face and leaned back slightly. "Thank you, Hakoda," she whispered.

"For kissing you? Because I'll be happy to do that some more."

She laughed. "Dear spirits, I have missed your humor."

In one swift motion, Hakoda flipped her onto her back, his eyes bright with mirth. "I've missed your complaints about my jokes."

Ursa curled her hand into his hair. "I've even missed your stewed sea prunes."

"I'm going to remember you said that."

Then he was kissing her again, and she was overwhelmed with a deep, desperate need to be close to him, to show him how much she had missed him, and she suddenly couldn't get his clothes off fast enough.

A short time later, they lay holding each other in her bed. Ursa rested her head on his chest and smiled contentedly as she listened to his heartbeat. In the back of her mind, she knew there were still battles to come, still questions unanswered and loved ones who weren't safe, but in that moment, she could rest in knowing that Hakoda had come back to her.

She was beginning to feel very drowsy when Hakoda said, "Ursa."

"Mm."

"Will you marry me?"

Her eyes flew to his in shock, and she saw that he was serious. She tried to speak and failed. Hakoda reached for his clothes on the floor, but all he did was pull a cloth pouch out of a pocket.

"I made this," he said, opening the pouch, "when you were in prison here." He pulled out a necklace. It was strung with a blue ribbon, and had a round, silver pendant hanging on it. The metal had been etched with two symbols. The emblem of the Water Tribe and the emblem of the Fire Nation were overlapping slightly, joined together in unity just as she and Hakoda were.

Ursa had spent enough time among the Northern Water Tribe women to recognize the necklace for what it was. Her eyes filled with tears, and she blinked them away. "Hakoda…"

"I love you." His fingers brushed away the tears that escaped her eyes. "I know that wearing a necklace and having a ceremony are just symbols and words to you, and if you don't want to—"

She kissed him before he could say anything else, and when she slowly settled on his arm, she said, "Yes." She wanted to laugh then, or maybe cry, but she had shed more than enough tears already that day. "Yes, Hakoda," she murmured as she buried her face in his neck. "I'll marry you."

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**Author's Note 2**: My amazing friend **fairheartstrife** made me Ursa/Hakoda art from their reunion scene. There is a link to it in my profile. :)


	28. The Beginning of the End

**A/N: **Thank you so much to all you reviewers: Jokegirl, jayma, Meerkatgirl, RDF-73, Terina, things24, Sarah, Caellach Tiger Eye, GraysonPaladin, Aristeia, Pirate Ninjas of the Abyss, ArrayePL, FireChildSlytherin, jsalbano, JFAPOI, Aussie-Muggle, Avatar of Wurms, and Angelfly. ^_^

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**Chapter Twenty-Eight - The Beginning of the End**

The following weeks were busy as everyone at the safe house worked to help refugees, move supplies, and prepare for whatever was ahead. It was the first time since Ursa had left the Fire Nation that she was completely _free_. No lies. No secrets. Everyone in the house knew who she was and where she had come from.

As the time passed with all of them living together in one house, they came to be like family to Ursa. Aside from Hakoda, the rest were all young enough to be her own children. She knew they were more than capable of taking care of themselves and they had all seen more than they ever should have had to at their ages, but she often found herself acting as a mentor or a friendly ear to the younger generation.

Smellerbee had commented one day, "If anyone had ever told me that I'd be living in a house with some Fire Nation people, a Water Tribe chief, an earthbender, some of the Freedom Fighters and Teo…you know, I'd have thought they were crazy. I never believed there was such a thing as a good firebender until I met Ran."

It only went to prove that all of the nations could work together—that they were meant to be working together.

And sometimes "working together" meant The Duke saying, "Hey, Ran, can you toast my bread for me?" to which Ran would grumble about how he wasn't an oven before he used firebending to toast The Duke's bread.

"What?" Ran said when Hakoda laughed the first time it happened. "It helps me work on my firebending precision."

There were times when their work was dangerous, and they had a few close calls while moving refugees or transferring supplies between safe houses in the city, but for the most part, their work went smoothly. They'd had only one big mishap, which had resulted in a concussion for Smellerbee and a broken leg for Ursa.

They had been hiding some refugees under their safe house until they could move them to a safer location. One of the refugees was a child of no more than three or four who had been separated from her mother and had been inconsolable at that, and then further panicked at being taken underground. The child had also happened to be an earthbender, and in her terror, had brought half of the floor in the front room crashing down while Ursa and Smellerbee were standing on it. Ursa was thankful that no one had been killed in the accident, but it was making her crazy to not be able to do much of anything with her leg being broken. She couldn't very well sneak around and help outside the house when she couldn't walk without crutches.

On a much happier note, there was one very special event that Ursa got to witness before everything reached the breaking point. One night, Ran turned to Hakoda and asked, "Hakoda, as chief of the Southern Water Tribe, did you ever perform wedding ceremonies?"

"I did," Hakoda said.

Ran and Mila exchanged glances, and Mila said, "Do you think you could marry us? Whatever happens—well, we don't know how this war is going to end. We don't want to waste what time we have. We'd like to celebrate this now."

"All I know are the ceremonies of the Southern Tribe and a little of the Northern," Hakoda admitted.

"That's okay," Mila answered with a laugh. "If you haven't noticed, we're pretty untraditional."

"You don't have family that you want to witness your wedding?" Hakoda wondered.

"My parents were killed by firebenders when I was very young," Mila said softly.

"And I'm sure my father has already disowned me for 'abandoning' the Fire Nation navy and disappearing," Ran said. "Somehow, I don't think he would approve of my marriage to an earthbender."

And so a few days later, Hakoda performed a small wedding ceremony in the front room of their safe house, while Ursa and the four children watched. It was nothing like watching the ceremony at the North Pole—at least not in how she felt. This time, observing a wedding gave her hope instead of pain and frustration.

Her fingers went to her betrothal necklace as Ran and Mila joined hands and Hakoda spoke to them. She understood a lot of things behind Hakoda making her a necklace, even though he hadn't said them. Given that the Southern Water Tribe didn't use betrothal necklaces, there was a lot of meaning between her and Hakoda in his gift. As far as either of them was concerned, they had been bound together for a long time now, wedding ceremony or not. But she was anticipating the day when they could celebrate their union with the people they loved and to outwardly recognize what they already shared.

And she no longer found it strange that she could look forward to that.

Four days after Ran and Mila's small ceremony, a call went out for the Order of the White Lotus to gather in Ba Sing Se. Since Ran and Mila, the only official members of the Order at the safe house, were already present in the city, they had kept up their normal business.

"We hear that the Masters of the Order have been coming to Ba Sing Se," Ran said at dinner one night, "which probably means Jeong Jeong is here, too. I haven't seen him since before Zhao captured you two." He had looked between Ursa and Hakoda. "I hope I'll see him again soon, but for now, this is where we're needed."

They stayed at the safe house, doing their work from there, as the day of Sozin's Comet swiftly approached. Finally, on the day of Sozin's Comet, Ran and Mila were called away, leaving Ursa and Hakoda with the four youngest residents of the house.

Ursa was having a hard time concentrating on anything as she wondered what was going to happen. The Order, she knew, was planning to retake Ba Sing Se, but would they be successful? Would Avatar Aang choose to strike before the comet? Was he ready? Had Zuko been able to teach him firebending fast enough?

Ursa knew she wasn't the only one who was restless. As they waited for Ran and Mila to return and fill them in on what was happening, Smellerbee and Longshot were looking over their weapons and The Duke was helping Teo make some modifications to his wheelchair.

"I think we could put explosives in this compartment," she overheard The Duke saying as he poked Teo's wheelchair. "I bet Ran has some explosives."

"I feel so useless," Ursa muttered to Hakoda. "I can't even fight because of these stupid crutches! And don't," she added as he opened his mouth, "tell me there are other things I can do. I know that already."

Hakoda closed his mouth, and Ursa sighed. She lowered herself carefully to sit in a chair, her injured leg stretched out in front of her. "I'm sorry. I'm not angry with you. I'm just so frustrated." She tapped the splint on her leg. "I hate the thought of all of you going to fight without me."

Hakoda reached across the table and squeezed her hand. "We don't know for sure what the plan is yet."

"Whatever it is, it's big. Ozai isn't going to waste an opportunity to use this comet for his purposes. I don't know what he'll do, but considering what his grandfather did the last time the comet came…" Ursa trailed off. "I'm not only frustrated," she finally admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm anxious. The closer we've gotten to Sozin's Comet coming…I think this is it, Hakoda. One way or another, I think this is going to change everything as we know it."

"We'll—"

"Ursa!" Hakoda was cut off when Ran burst into the house. He was wearing robes she had never seen before, robes with a white lotus on them. He looked around and spotted her in the chair. "Ursa, I have wonderful news!" He dropped down beside her, his face alight. "But I think I should show you instead of tell you. Come on." He grabbed her crutches and held them out for her before looking around at the rest of them. "We're going to sneak to the outskirts of Ba Sing Se. The Order of the White Lotus has a camp set up there. Some of the Order will stay in the city and work from the inside, but we need to move out there."

:-:-:-:-:

There were tents set up all over the place in the Order's camp, while flags with the white lotus symbol waved in the breeze. Ran steered her toward one end of the camp. She moved as fast she could on her crutches to keep up, with Hakoda, the freedom fighters, and Teo at her side.

She didn't need Ran to explain his excitement when she spotted the man talking to a group of people. Her breath caught in her throat as his eyes met hers. "Iroh!" she cried, and she dropped her crutches to throw her arms around him.

Iroh held onto her shoulders and searched her over, as though checking to see if she was in good health. "Our young friend here told me you were in Ba Sing Se. I could hardly believe it."

"Hey, you're that old guy from the ferry!" Smellerbee exclaimed. "The one that Jet was convinced was a firebender! Wait…you _are _a firebender, aren't you?"

"Iroh is—was—my brother-in-law," Ursa explained as she reclaimed her crutches. "Iroh, it seems you already know—"

"The lovely young Smellerbee, yes. And Longshot, as well."

Smellerbee didn't look pleased. "You know, it's because Jet was so convinced you were a firebender that he ended up getting arrested, and—"

Longshot put a hand on her shoulder, and she looked at him for a long moment before sighing. "You're right. Jet could have left it alone. We_ tried_ to get him to leave it alone."

Still, she eyed Iroh a little warily as Ursa introduced the rest of them.

"Chief Hakoda." Iroh grasped Hakoda's arm after he was introduced. "I have had the pleasure of meeting your children on several occasions. In fact, they were here earlier this very morning. So was Zuko, Ursa."

Ursa's eyes widened. "Where is he now?"

"He and Katara flew to the Fire Nation. There is much I need to tell you. But first, there is someone else I believe would be very interested in meeting you, Chief Hakoda." Iroh led them over to another older man dressed in the same white lotus robes as Iroh and the other people in the camp. "This is Pakku, waterbending master from the Northern Tribe."

"Master Pakku." Hakoda nodded his head respectfully. "I understand that you were the one who trained my daughter as a waterbender. You have my gratitude."

Pakku stared at Hakoda. "You are Kanna's son?"

Hakoda raised his eyebrows. "You know my mother?"

Pakku smiled. "I recently married your mother."

Hakoda looked stunned. Before he had a chance to say anything, though, Pakku's eyes moved to Ursa and he said, "And it seems I'm not the only one with a recent engagement. Unless that is just for decoration," he added, motioning to Ursa's necklace.

She shook her head. "No," she said quietly. "This isn't just for decoration."

"My mother…got married." Hakoda sounded stunned, and the way he was eyeing Pakku, Ursa knew he was appraising the older man with a different perspective. "Well," he said quietly to Ursa after Pakku had turned to address someone who was trying to get his attention, "my mother always did have good judgment."

The Order of the White Lotus quickly filled them in on what was happening. The most devastating news was that Ozai was on his way to the Earth Kingdom with war ships and a plan to reign down fire on the Earth Kingdom, to destroy them as Sozin had destroyed the airbenders. The very thought of it made Ursa feel physically ill. How had Ozai fallen so far? What could make him decide to wipe out the Earth Kingdom? There was nothing. Nothing left inside of him but thirst for power.

"He's insane," she whispered, more to herself than her friends around her, but Hakoda folded his fingers through hers.

The Order was expecting that Avatar Aang would confront Ozai, and they were planning to do everything they could to make way for a new path once that happened. Sokka and his companions Suki and Toph had left to intercept the Fire Nation's airship fleet and stop it from reaching the Earth Kingdom. Zuko and Katara had gone to face Azula, so that Zuko would be poised to take the throne when (if) Aang defeated the Firelord.

_Zuko…Zuko and Azula are going to battle it out? _Ursa gripped Hakoda's hand so tightly she began to lose feeling in her fingers. She had moved beyond anxious. She was terrified. What if they killed each other? She knew, from the perspective of the war against the Fire Nation, that Zuko had to win. For the sake of the world, he had to win…but it killed her inside that he had to fight with Azula to do it, that it had come this far.

"We are sending a team to the Fire Nation to infiltrate the palace and secure it for Zuko," Iroh explained, "and to free the prisoners kept near the palace."

"I was there," Hakoda said, "at the prison. My men are still there." He looked at Ursa, and she knew, even without discussing it, that he would want to go to the Fire Nation and help secure things there and free the prisoners.

But she also knew that she couldn't go—she would only get in the way. She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting the overwhelming frustration. She couldn't be there to help Hakoda and the Water Tribe men, couldn't be there to help her children.

She finally opened her eyes and nodded understanding at Hakoda. "Iroh," she said, "I can't fight right now, but what _can _I do?"

"The citizens of Ba Sing Se will need protection," Iroh said. "We are going to take the city back from the Fire Nation. We will have some people in camp to treat any injured or to care for those who need aid. We have some earthbenders who will be opening paths under Ba Sing Se to get citizens to safety when the fighting begins and the Dai Li and Fire Nation soldiers here are distracted." He looked at Hakoda. "Chief Hakoda, if you are going to the Fire Nation, you will be leaving in a few minutes. Ran, will you see to it that he gets on the airship?"

Ran nodded. "Yes, General Iroh."

"I want to come with you," The Duke said, looking up at Hakoda. "Pipsqueak is in prison there. I want to help fight."

"I want to go, too," Teo said. "My dad is there. I won't be in the way, I promise. I can fight in this." He patted his wheelchair. He looked apologetically at Ursa. "If your leg had been broken for a long time, you would have learned to fight that way."

"I know. Don't feel bad on my account, Teo." Ursa tried to smile, but failed. She had learned to fight so that she wouldn't feel useless or helpless, and right then, all she felt was useless and helpless.

"What about you two?" Hakoda asked Smellerbee and Longshot.

Smellerbee's eyes narrowed, and she said, "I'll stay here with you, Ursa. I'll help the people in Ba Sing Se."

Longshot tilted his head slightly, which Ursa knew meant he was staying behind, too.

Hakoda turned to Ursa and she folded him in one last, desperate hug. "Get our people out of there," she whispered. "When this is over, I'll come to the palace." If they won. _We have to win_. "I'll find you. I'll find my children." _Please don't let them kill each other. Please._

"Then I'll see you soon." Hakoda kissed her and turned to walk away with Teo and The Duke.

She fought her fear as they disappeared from her sight behind one of the tents. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to Iroh, who was watching her with a small smile on his face. "I see we have a lot to talk about, Ursa. Come, we can spare a few minutes. Let me get you some tea."

And there in the middle of the tents, as soldiers prepared for war, Iroh sat with her on the grass in front of one of the campfires and made her a cup of tea. "I was not sure if you were even still alive."

"I have much to tell you, Iroh, but before I do—I want to thank you. From everything I've heard, you cared for Zuko as though he was your own son. You were there for him when I couldn't be. I…I can't tell you how much it means to me that he had you." She looked down at her tea cup, her eyes blurry, before turning her eyes back on Iroh. "And I have to also ask your forgiveness. I…I…" She had said it before, but confessing this to Iroh was harder than she had ever imagined it would be. "I was responsible for the death of your father. You should have had the throne in the Fire Nation, but you didn't because of my actions." She told him everything, then. From Azulon's orders that Ozai kill Zuko to how Ursa had been cornered and made her bargain with Ozai, then to her banishment to the Earth Kingdom and her journey there.

Iroh listened quietly, and when she was finished, he said, "I suspected much of what happened with Ozai and our father. I do not blame you, Ursa. I never have. I am so glad that you are safe, and that you, too, have found your way. And today, we will all work together to bring an end to the pain our nation is causing. We will bring freedom to all of the nations."

:-:-:-:-:

The tent Hakoda had disappeared behind hid a path that led to another area where even more activity abounded. People in robes of the Order were milling about, preparing weapons, and talking among themselves. The air was heavy with anticipation.

In the middle of the chaos, Ursa found Mila earthbending a huge shelter into place, and then moving people into it—mostly women and children, Ursa noticed.

"Oh, Ursa, you're here!" Mila quickly bended another large shelter next to the first one. "We're already starting to get refugees from Ba Sing Se, and there will be more coming. I've been tasked with making shelters, but we're going to need to get these people some water, and food if we have any to spare. Some of the children are hungry."

That day, Ursa kept busy helping get citizens settled as more and more started coming from Ba Sing Se. The earthbenders widened the camp and cut tunnels through hilly sections to create more space as needed.

Shortly after the sun went down, the sky began to redden, and everyone knew what it meant. Sozin's Comet had arrived. A call went out for all the soldiers to gather.

It was time to retake Ba Sing Se.

Ursa's stomach was in knots as she watched the Order of the White Lotus begin to filter out of the refugee camp to gather together for their battle for Ba Sing Se. Mila squeezed Ursa's hand and said, "I have to go now. Take care of yourself and these people. I'll see you on the other side."


	29. Homecoming

**A/N: **Thanks to Avatar of Wurms, ArrayePL, GraysonPaladin, Sarah, FireChildSlytherin5, RDF-73, jayma, things24, E.V.I.T., ennui deMorte, Aristeia, fifth11, Kimjuni2, jsalbano, Angelfly06, kateydidnt, and Evanescences Angel for reviewing!

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Nine - Homecoming**

The Fire Nation's shores were not as guarded as they once had been, as most of the Firelord's forces were being used to attack the Earth Kingdom. The airship Hakoda was on was able to pass through the defenses without any trouble. It helped that the airship was the same one Hakoda had been in when he escaped the Boiling Rock. He had left it with General Xu, and now it made the perfect disguise to fly into the heart of the Fire Nation and land close to the prison where the Water Tribe was being held. Teo and The Duke weren't the only familiar faces on board. Aside from General Xu, who was leading the operation, Haru and Chit Sang were there as well.

They had decided to take the prison first and then work on securing the palace, a decision that Hakoda knew was sound—if they were able to conquer the prison, they would ensure that the soldiers stationed there couldn't interfere at the palace, and they would gain more warriors once they freed the prisoners.

At the same time, he knew that Zuko and Katara were supposed to be at the palace confronting Azula, and he had no idea what they would face. With Ursa's children being split on opposite sides, it was inevitable that one of them was going down this day, and he could only hope that it would happen without the death of either. He just didn't know if it was likely.

It was night when they arrived at their destination, but the world was lit with a red glow from Sozin's Comet. The first Fire Nation soldiers they faced when they landed the airship were taken by surprise. They were probably increasingly confused when Chit Sang and several other firebenders swept to the front and blasted flames toward the Fire Nation soldiers.

As Hakoda joined in to cut a path to the prison, he was grateful for the firebenders they did have on their side. With the comet upon them, he had never seen such power coming from any firebender. He advanced with the others, but there was so much red and heat all around him that it was all he could do to focus on what was directly in front of him. Seeing beyond that was almost impossible, but if he couldn't see past a very short distance, it meant his enemies likely couldn't see him, either.

He had one very close call, right when they were at the prison's front door, when a wall of fire almost hit him full on, but it was blocked at the last second by a shield of thick earth that Haru bended.

The whole battle was fast and frantic and disorienting, but as Hakoda had anticipated, once the prisoners inside realized that people had come to rescue them, some of them gave everything they could to help from the inside. It wasn't long before Hakoda moved into the prison and saw Water Tribe men engaged in battle. The girls—the Kyoshi Warriors, he recalled—were also bringing soldiers down. One girl—and Hakoda didn't have time to be surprised when he realized it was the young lady who had been fighting at Azula's side at the Boiling Rock—twirled through the enemy soldiers and guards, jabbing them so that they collapsed.

In the end, the Order of the White Lotus took the prison. There were casualties—some prisoners and Fire Nation soldiers, and at least one person wearing the Order's robes. No one that Hakoda knew was among the dead, but he did know these deaths would be mourned by loved ones. As he bent down to close the eyes of a young man, he offered a prayer that the spirits of the dead would find rest this day.

"Hakoda! Why am I not surprised to find you in the middle of all of this?"

Hakoda turned and clasped Bato's arm tightly. The relief in his friend's eyes matched his own. "It's not over yet."

"What's the plan?" Bato asked as the other Water Tribe men began to gather.

"Sweep the prison and let any other prisoners out of their cells," General Xu called out. "Make sure this place is completely secure and see what weapons we can find here! Our next objective is the palace! Anyone who is willing and able to fight can come with us. The rest will stay here until this is over."

They moved quickly, releasing the rest of the prisoners that were locked in cells, and as they did so, they found a room that stashed all of the weapons and clothing that were taken from prisoners. It was with satisfaction that Hakoda and the other Water Tribe men reclaimed their clothes and weapons.

Then they set off toward the Fire Nation palace. As they came within sight of it, Hakoda realized there was already a battle of some sort taking place there. Huge bursts of blue and orange fire came from somewhere on the palace grounds. Could that be Zuko and Azula fighting? Was Katara in the middle of that?

The bursts of flame stopped as they got closer to the palace, and by the time they were near enough to begin to encounter guards, a loud voice ordered, "_Stop!_ There will be no more fighting!"

Coming out of the palace was Zuko. He appeared to be in poor shape; he was limping and clutching his abdomen, but he commanded the attention of both the Fire Nation soldiers and the Order's strike team. He looked around at all of them and said, "I have defeated my sister for the position of Firelord, and I command you to _stand down_."

:-:-:-:-:

Hakoda didn't have a chance to see Katara right away after the final showdown between Zuko and Azula. In the confusion and wait that followed Zuko's defeat of Azula, he heard enough to know that Katara was alive and guarding Azula. The Fire Nation soldiers seemed uncertain as to what they were supposed to be doing if they weren't fighting the Order of the White Lotus, but they heeded Zuko's command to stand down.

Confident that Katara was safe and that Ursa's children were both alive, Hakoda returned to the prison with many others to aid those prisoners who had stayed behind. On the walk back to the prison, the unnatural red light faded as Sozin's Comet left for another hundred years. Hakoda looked up at the starlit sky and wondered how the rest of the world had fared during the comet. Had the Order been successful in taking Ba Sing Se? Had Sokka been able to stop the Fire Nation airship fleet? Had the Avatar defeated the Firelord?

For now, he had to wait. Again. But he at least got to have some rest in knowing his men were still alive, and that others had survived as well—like when he saw General Xu speaking to Misaki at the prison.

It wasn't long before further news was brought to the prison, news that Hakoda had been waiting his whole life to hear. The Avatar had defeated the Firelord. There was more news piled on top of that: the Avatar had arrived at the palace with Sokka, Suki, and Toph, who had managed to stop the airship fleet.

After that, everything seemed to move very fast, and that afternoon came Zuko's coronation. There was some haste to get him crowned, so he could officially start commanding the Fire Nation.

It was just before the coronation that Hakoda was finally reunited with his children. At that point, he had heard all about their victories over the Fire Nation and it took him a moment to find his voice to tell them how proud of them he was. How proud Kya would have been.

_We did it. We did it. _

Over. It was over. It was so huge, so life-changing, so unfamiliar that Hakoda couldn't fully wrap his mind around it. They had won. After so much pain and hardship and trials…it was really over.

But it wouldn't really be finished until Hakoda knew that Ursa was safe. He still didn't know what had happened at Ba Sing Se, but after all of this…he had to hold on and believe that Ursa was on her way to him, as she had said she would be.

:-:-:-:-:

It was a long night. Ursa was kept busy with refugees still coming from the city, and it wasn't long before the camp started getting people who had been injured, most of them by fire, and Ursa started to hear stories of the battle taking place in Ba Sing Se. She could see hints of the flame coming from the city in the distance, which was just an indication of how high and how powerful some of the flames were getting.

Shortly after the comet began cutting a path across the sky, a group very welcome people were led into camp by one of the members of the Order—healers from the North Pole, most of them women, but a couple of men as well, which went to show how far the Northern Water Tribe had come. Ursa recognized only Yugoda, but she greeted the older woman warmly.

"Pakku asked us if we could come here to lend our healing to Ba Sing Se on this day," Yugoda explained. "I did not expect to see you here. You look very well, Ursa."

The healers were the greatest blessing the camp could have received. They set to work on the injured, and Ursa ran around aiding wherever she could. She saw Smellerbee and Longshot only in passing as they rushed around, offering their help. By the time Sozin's Comet was gone and the sky was lit with stars, someone came to the camp to let everyone know that Ba Sing Se had been taken back from the Fire Nation. The camp resounded with cheers, and as jubilant as Ursa was that they'd had one huge success, the war was not over and she would not be able to rest until she knew the fates of those she loved.

With Ba Sing Se in the hands of the Order, it was left to them to tend the injured from the city, and as such, the demand for healers grew as members of the Order brought more and more hurt people into camp. Ursa's night took a turn for the worse when Mila was brought in among the wounded. The young woman who had become like family to her in the past months was burned down the right side of her body, from her chin to her thigh, and she was nearly unconscious when she was laid out on the ground.

"Mila! Mila, can you hear me?" Ursa looked frantically around for a healer, but they were all occupied with other patients. "Mila!" Ursa squeezed Mila's uninjured hand when her eyes drifted closed. "Stay with me."

"Ursa…" Mila's eyes fluttered open. "Ran?"

"He's not back yet. I'm sure he's fine. You just have to hold on." Ursa looked up as Yugoda came to kneel beside Mila. The healer's water-covered hands glowed as she lowered them to Mila's burns. "You're going to be all right."

Mila's face twisted in pain and her body jerked. Her voice was faint and halting when she said, "Ursa...I'm…pregnant."

Ursa's eyes widened, and Yugoda looked up in surprise before moving her hands to Mila's abdomen. After several long moments, Yugoda smiled. "Your baby is unharmed."

Mila nodded and squeezed her eyes shut, and tears spilled out of her closed eyelids. Ursa stayed at her side as Yugoda finished her healing session. "She's going to be all right," Yugoda said quietly, "just badly scarred." She stood and quickly moved onto the next person in need of aid.

Mila had fallen asleep by the time Ran returned to camp. He panicked when he saw Mila lying on the ground under a blanket until Ursa assured him that she was going to be fine.

"Ursa, she's…Mila…" The terror was strong in Ran's voice. "She's with child."

"She told me." Ursa placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "The baby's fine, too, Ran. Right now, Mila needs time to rest and heal."

"I didn't want her to fight like this," Ran whispered, "but she needed to…this is her home…" He stared down at his hands, and Ursa wondered if he was thinking of his own firebending as he saw the burns on Mila's body.

The sun was rising when Iroh came and found Ursa. Tears were shining in his eyes as he grasped her hands, and for a sickening, terrifying moment she thought he was going to deliver horrible news to her. Then he said, "Ursa, I have just received the news. Aang has defeated Ozai. Not only that, but Zuko has also defeated Azula and he is to be crowned Firelord this very day."

"And Azula?" Ursa asked, her heart racing.

"Still alive," Iroh said, and Ursa's knees went weak with relief. "Beyond that, I do not know, but we will find out. Our messenger brought an airship, and he is headed back to the Fire Nation to deliver the news of Ba Sing Se's victory. If we leave with him, we will be at the palace by tonight and we can give Zuko the news ourselves." He smiled at her. "I think it is time that you returned to the Fire Nation, Ursa."

Ursa looked across the camp, where Ran was still sitting with Mila. He had been joined by Smellerbee and Longshot, and she knew that Mila would be taken care of, and so would the rest of the injured. Iroh was right, and more than anything in the world, at that moment Ursa wanted desperately to go to the Fire Nation, to see her children, to see that Hakoda and the Water Tribe were well. The messenger assured that he had seen the Water Tribe at the palace, free of the prison, but she needed to be there. She needed to be sure, so she went to tell Ran and the others that she was leaving for a while, and then went with Iroh.

It wasn't until she was on the airship with Iroh and some others, heading across the ocean toward the western side of the Fire Nation, that she asked, "Iroh, do you know what happened to Ozai's body?"

"Aang did not kill Ozai," Iroh answered. "Somehow, he took his firebending away. Ozai is in prison."

Ursa stared at him in shock. It had not crossed her mind that the Avatar would be able to defeat Ozai without killing him. "I see."

The ride to the Fire Nation seemed to take far longer than it actually lasted, and Ursa clenched and unclenched her hands restlessly in her lap the closer they got to the palace. After so many years of being unable to return—to know that she was going back, to know that she was going to get to see her children and she didn't have to worry that Ozai would harm them because of it—it hadn't really hit yet; it seemed so unreal.

When at last the airship landed, she and Iroh walked toward the palace. It was so familiar and yet so strange. This had been her home once, but it seemed like another lifetime. She was so different from the woman she had been when she left this place.

"General Iroh, sir!" one of the palace guards moved to intercept them. "Firelord Zuko will be most pleased to see you. I take it our messengers arrived at…" He trailed off and stared at Ursa. "It can't be…Lady _Ursa_?"

Ursa swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded. "If you please," she said, "I would like to see my son."

"O-of course, Lady Ursa! He should be back any moment. He left a short time ago to see Firelord—to see his father in prison. Please, come with me."

They followed the guard inside the palace. Familiar walls, familiar corridors…like walking through a dream, Ursa thought. As though part of her had been asleep during the time she had lived in the palace, but here, now, she was more awake than she had ever been before.

"Can you tell me where my daughter is?" Ursa asked the guard. "Is she at the prison, too?"

The guard's stride slowed for a moment. "No, my lady. She…was very unwell. She was taken to the facility on Hing Wa Island earlier this afternoon."

Ursa stopped dead in her tracks. "Hing Wa Island?" she echoed. It took her a moment to find motion again, and she hurried to catch back up to Iroh and the guard. Azula had been taken to the mental facility? "Can you tell me…is the Water Tribe here?"

"Some of them, I believe. All the ones we had in prison. I also saw their chief around earlier—I know it was him because I remember when we moved him to the Boiling Rock and I recall hearing that he escaped."

So her children were both alive, even if Azula was in an unimaginable state, and so was Hakoda. Ursa couldn't speak past the tightness in her throat.

"Here we are. Shall I send something to eat?" the guard asked as he took Iroh and Ursa into one of the palace sitting rooms.

Iroh held up one finger. "Tea would be very nice, thank you."

"I'm fine," Ursa assured. She wasn't sure if she could put anything into her stomach right now anyway. She was so anxious. She sat carefully on one of the couches in the room, setting her crutches beside her. When the tea was brought, Iroh placed a cup into her hands, but she just stared at it.

Her back was to the door, so she didn't see Zuko enter. The first thing she heard was his voice.

"Uncle! You're here! They told me the rest of my family was here…I'm so glad you've arrived! Does this mean Ba Sing Se is in the Earth Kingdom's hands again?"

Ursa was stuck to her seat. Her hands were shaking so much she was afraid she was going to spill her tea. She heard Iroh say, "It is. Everything has begun to be set right again…_Firelord _Zuko."

"Uncle, I need to talk to Azula. I just went to my father and asked him where my mother is, and all he would say was that I should ask Azula. I've asked my friends to meet so I can talk to them and…"

Zuko trailed off when Ursa finally found movement. She set her tea down and pushed herself off of the couch. She turned awkwardly without her crutches and got her first glimpse of Zuko. Her first thought was that he was so tall now…even taller than her. And he was standing there with his royal robes and the crown of the Firelord and staring at her as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

"_Mom_?"

"Hello, Zuko."

And then he was in her arms. She held him close and felt his tears on her shoulder. Or maybe they were her tears. After so many years of wondering and fearing, hoping and praying, she had her son back.

_Finally..._

"I'm so sorry, Zuko," she whispered, holding onto him fiercely. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted to leave you here. I'm so sorry."

His grip on her tightened and she could feel him shake his head. "I know what you did. You saved me. And I know I've made so many mistakes…I'm going to make things right. I promise."

"I'm so proud of you." Ursa finally stepped back, balancing on her good leg and holding Zuko's face in her hands. She wasn't sure he could see her clearly; his eyes were streaming tears.

"I have so many things I want to ask you," Zuko said.

Ursa wiped her face with her sleeve. "I'm sure I have as many things to tell you."

"Would you…I just called a meeting to ask my friends to help me find you, but if I introduce you…"

Iroh held out Ursa's crutches toward her and smiled knowingly. "I believe I will stay here and finish my tea."

Ursa smiled back nervously, expecting that she was about to meet the Avatar and his companions…in which case, she had already met Sokka. There were going to be many, many more questions. If Sokka and Katara were there, she was hoping that Hakoda would be, as well. She needed him to be there, because some answers were not hers alone to tell.

:-:-:-:-:

The rest of the afternoon of Zuko's coronation sped by so quickly that Hakoda hardly had time to think. His children disappeared after the coronation—he knew that there were places in the capital that needed help, and that Katara had been conscripted as a healer for those who were hurt. As much as Hakoda wanted to talk to them, he realized it would have to wait a little while longer.

If nothing else, he needed to talk to Zuko and tell him that his mother should be on her way to him from Ba Sing Se, but Zuko wasn't around. From what the palace guard told him, he was ensuring his sister was moved to a facility and taking care of some other business.

The sun was going down when Hakoda finally tracked down Katara. She looked exhausted, but happier than he had seen her in a long time, and had just finished her many healing sessions when Hakoda found her.

"I'm sorry, Dad, I have to run again. Zuko's asked me to come to a meeting—I'm on my way there now."

"Actually, I need to speak to Zuko. Can I come with you?"

"Of course. I'm sure Zuko won't mind."

A servant escorted them to a large room in the palace, where there was food spread out on a low table. There were already other familiar faces there—Sokka and Suki, Toph with her feet propped up on a cushion, Aang sitting nearby and a young woman that Hakoda had only seen at a distance, when she was saving his life at the Boiling Rock. Mai. She was leaning against the wall and twirling a knife in her fingers.

The servant bowed at Katara and Hakoda. "Firelord Zuko will be here shortly."

Hakoda sat quietly and waited for Zuko to arrive, preparing to finally, _finally _tell Zuko that his mother, as far as Hakoda knew, was alive.

It wasn't long before the door opened and everyone turned to see Zuko. He was beaming. There was no other word for it. If he had looked happy and at peace during his coronation, it paled to what was on his face now.

Zuko looked around at them all. "Thank you for coming. I _had _asked you here for help with something, but it turns out what I was looking for came to me instead." He cleared his throat and stepped aside. "I have someone I'd like you all to meet."

And there she was, using her crutches to step into the room from the corridor. She _was _safe. As much as Hakoda had believed it, the relief at _seeing _it was enormous.

Hakoda stood to his feet as Zuko said, "This is..."

Ursa stared at Hakoda. Her face showed the same joy that he felt, and her name dropped out of his mouth with the full weight of his emotions. "Ursa."

"…my…" Zuko stopped talking as Ursa stepped past him. She dropped her crutches and he caught her in his arms, and they shared an elated, relieved kiss. The room was silent until Zuko's final word came out sounding dazed and confused. "…mother."

Hakoda knew they needed to explain, could see out of the corners of his eyes that his children were staring at him in shock, but his gaze was fixed on Ursa's as they beamed at each other. "Is the rest of the Water Tribe here? Are they safe?" she asked.

"They're all here," he told her, "and they'll be thrilled to see you."

"And Misaki? Teo? The Duke?"

"They're all fine. Ran and Mila? Smellerbee and Longshot?"

"They're all alive. Mila was injured, but she's going to be fine and so is her baby—"

"_Baby?_"

"She's pregnant." Ursa shook her head, her eyes glistening with happy tears. "It's over, Hakoda. It's over. I almost can't believe it."

"_Wait!_" Finally, their children got over their shock enough that the word had exploded from Zuko's mouth. "_What is going on_?"

"Dad?" Katara's voice and face were stunned when he turned his head to look at her. Beside her, Sokka's jaw hung open.

"Would _someone _explain to me why you are touching my _mother_?" Zuko demanded.

"You never mentioned that Ursa was _Zuko's mom_!" Sokka exclaimed.

"Wait, you _know _her?" Zuko said to Sokka.

"Why is she wearing a Water Tribe necklace?" Katara asked.

Then their voices were climbing over each other as more questions poured out. Katara's expression moved swiftly from shock and confusion to hurt. Sokka threw his hands in the air and Zuko just stood there with his fists clenched, looking like he would blow up if he didn't get some answers soon. Aang was on his feet and seemed prepared to break up a fight should one start. But it was Toph's voice that finally cut through the chaos.

"I know you." She stood to her feet and walked confidently over to Ursa.

Hakoda's hands slid off of Ursa's shoulders as Ursa turned to Toph. Toph was tilting her head, her unseeing eyes fixed in Ursa's direction. "I know your voice," Toph said. "It was you, wasn't it? In Gaoling. You were being dragged somewhere by some guy—"

"Yes." Ursa smiled. "And you're Toph."

Toph grinned and crossed her arms. "That's me. Wow, I never thought I'd run into you again."

"You have no idea what you did for me that night."

"Well, it's good to see that you kept out of trouble," Toph replied.

Ursa laughed. "I had my fair share of it, but it would seem that you did, too."

Toph shrugged. "When you're the Avatar's earthbending teacher, trouble's part of the job."

If everyone hadn't been thoroughly confused before, then they definitely were now.

"I think," Sokka said dazedly, "we need to talk."

* * *

**Author's Note 2: **Draw4life on DeviantArt made a wonderful comic for the scene in here where Ursa and Hakoda reunite in front of their children. The link to it is in my profile. :) 


	30. Building Bridges

**A/N: **Thank you to jayma, Aussie-Muggle, Lance Murdock, Meerkatgirl13, RDF-73, Kimjuni2, Aristeia, GraysonPaladin, FireChildSlytherin5, Metella, Angelfly06, things24, Sarah, JFAPOI, Evanescences Angel, Avatar of Wurms, jsalbano, Chaos Sparda, and josimar.

* * *

**Chapter Thirty - Building Bridges**

Before either Hakoda or Ursa explained anything, Hakoda watched Ursa pick up her crutches and propel herself over to Mai. She then enfolded the girl in a hug. Mai froze, a startled expression on her face, as Ursa said, "I heard what you did at the Boiling Rock, Mai. Thank you." She turned and looked at the rest of the young people in the room. "Avatar Aang." She bowed as best she could with her crutches, and Aang returned the gesture. "I've wanted to meet you for a long time."

"I'm very glad for your safe return," Aang replied.

"And you must be Suki. I'm very glad to meet you. And Sokka and Katara, of course. Your father has told me wonderful things about you." Ursa lowered herself to a cushion, and Hakoda sat beside her and helped her prop her broken leg on another cushion. They exchanged glances, and Ursa nodded. "I'll start," she said softly.

She began her story. She spoke of the night she had been banished from the Fire Nation, of what she had done to save Zuko's life. She told the kids the same things she had told Hakoda once, about how she had traveled through the Earth Kingdom until she met Misaki. She explained about running the inn, and working for the Earth Kingdom, until the day she spotted a firebender pretending to be part of the Earth Kingdom.

From there, Hakoda and Ursa took turns explaining what had happened from the moment the Water Tribe had saved her. When Zuko heard that Zhao had captured both of them, and that he had planned to use Ursa to get Zuko to cooperate, he buried his face in his hand.

"You must have escaped right before he came to see me," he said heavily. "When he was getting ready to invade the North Pole. He came to take my men, and he never mentioned a word about you."

Ursa shook her head. "He wouldn't have. He would have been far too proud and angry to admit that he had found me only to have me disappear out from under his nose."

"So instead of using you against me, he tried to have me killed," Zuko said. "I wish I'd known. All those years…"

"We have now," Ursa said firmly. "We can't change what happened in our past, but we have the future. One moment at a time." She glanced at Hakoda out of the corner of her eye and a small smile curved her mouth. "The Water Tribe taught me that."

"I can't _believe _you had Zuko's mom traveling with you! You never even mentioned you had a woman working with the Water Tribe!" Katara was moving from her astonishment and hurt into something deeper and closer to anger.

"Actually, he did," Sokka said. "He told me when I went to see him in Chameleon Bay. And I met her the night Ba Sing Se fell, but then she was gone. Dad told me she left."

"Well, he sure didn't tell you about anything going on between them!"

Sokka's forehead was furrowed as he contemplated Hakoda and Ursa, but he nudged Katara. "Let's hear the rest."

Katara sat back, her mouth pressed together tightly, but she nodded.

Hakoda and Ursa continued their story. Ursa explained about her time with the Water Tribe, and then how she had gone to Ba Sing Se as soon as she heard it was conquered.

"Azula threw you in _prison?_" Zuko was on his feet at this point, pacing back and forth. "I can't believe she did that! I can't believe she didn't say anything!"

"She was afraid," Ursa said. "She was afraid you would listen to me…and I think she might have been afraid to listen, too."

The fall of the Earth Kingdom was where their tales diverged, and there wasn't much for Hakoda to tell after that, because his kids knew what he'd been doing after the invasion. He did tell them how he realized who Ursa was after talking to Zuko.

"I was going to talk to you about it the morning we were attacked at the temple," Hakoda told Zuko apologetically. "Obviously, I didn't get that chance. Once we were separated, I found Ursa in Ba Sing Se. We've been living with some other people at a safe house for the Order of the White Lotus since then."

Which brought him down to the next part, but all three of their children were still trying to process the fact that he and Ursa even knew each other. He knew that any other news was not going to go over well, particularly with Katara, but he had expected that.

And he wouldn't lie to his children. "I never told you this before," he said, looking between Sokka and Katara, "because there was never much time. Even when we were together after the fall of Ba Sing Se, the only thing you were focused on was Aang getting better, and the only thing _we _could focus on was trying to get everyone to safety and plan the invasion. You haven't had a chance to hear much of anything that I've done since I left the South Pole."

Sokka and Katara looked at each other. Sokka shrugged and said, "He's right, Katara. We've been kind of busy helping Aang defeat the Fire Nation."

Katara remained silent, her face stony.

Toph leaned back on her cushion and crossed her legs. "Wow. This is a pretty crazy coincidence. So when's the wedding?"

_"What?" _Zuko exclaimed.

"Geez, I'm _blind _and I can see it," Toph said. "What's the big deal?"

Katara stared at her, pale and angry. "What's the big deal! You can't be serious!" She got to her feet and moved quickly to the door. Aang called her name, but she didn't stop.

"Wow." Mai, who had been standing quietly in the corner the whole time, straightened and looked around. "And I thought my family had issues."

Hakoda rose to his feet. "I'll be back."

"Dad, she just needs time. This _is _all a lot to take in," Sokka said. "I mean...this means Zuko and I are going to be _brothers! _And Azula…" He stopped, as if the thought of Azula as a stepsister was too much for even him to think about.

"I know. I'll still be back." The last time Katara had been mad at him, right after they had been finally reunited, Hakoda had given her all the time she needed, but he somehow knew that this time, he needed to follow after her.

He didn't have to go far to find her. He saw her disappearing around the corner, and when he headed that way, he found her leaning against the wall, eyes squeezed shut.

"Katara."

Her eyes snapped open and for several seconds, they just looked at each other. It hurt to see the pain and frustration in her eyes, but he suspected this was about more than just him and Ursa. Maybe it was instinct, maybe because he knew—he had always known—that for Katara, this would come back to Kya, but he wasn't surprised when she finally said, her voice hoarse and accusing, "You made her a _necklace, _didn't you? You never made _Mom _a necklace! It's not even Southern Water Tribe tradition!"

"No, it's not." He wasn't sure what to tell her of his reasons for making Ursa a necklace. He wasn't sure if Katara would even listen. "What I share with Ursa is different than what I shared with your mother, Katara. Nothing will take away the years that I had with your mom. It couldn't. But as much as I loved her, my years with your mother ended a long time ago."

Katara stopped pacing and faced him, crossing her arms. "So you just run off and find someone new?"

"It wasn't like that." He took a moment to collect his thoughts. "The Northern Water Tribe," he finally said, "was the place where Ursa and I began a new path together. And this new path is something that's neither traditional to the Southern Water Tribe or to the Fire Nation. This is a _different _step for a different relationship in my life. Katara…some people in this world are fortunate enough to find love once. I never thought I would find it twice."

Katara flinched and stared down at her hands. "I…" She looked at Hakoda and shook her head. "I can't do this right now. Please, just leave me alone." She turned her back on him.

Hakoda stood in silence, and then leaned forward and kissed the back of her head. "I'll be waiting when you're ready." He turned and walked back toward the room where the others waited.

When he stepped inside, Zuko faced him, his arms crossed and his good eye narrowed as he studied Hakoda. Finally, his voice halting, he said, "So, I…guess you kind of looked after my mom in some bad situations." He still had a tone of 'I'm not sure that makes it okay that you're with her,' but Hakoda was glad that they were at least making some headway with one of their kids.

Hakoda glanced at Sokka, who shrugged and held up his hands. "Hey, in my experience, you fall in love with the person you fall in love with." He looked at Ursa. "So, uh…welcome to the family?" Under his breath, he muttered, "This is _so weird._"

Two of their kids, then. And Azula, from what he heard, was a disaster. Finding out that her mother was getting married would probably be the least of her worries.

"Excuse me, Firelord Zuko." A servant appeared at the door and bowed. "There is another envoy from Ba Sing Se that has just arrived."

"I'll be right there." Zuko looked around at all of them. "Excuse me, please." To Ursa, he began, "Mom—"

"It's all right." Ursa smiled. "We have plenty of time to talk."

"I'll find you later," Zuko promised, and then he left.

:-:-:-:-:

It was a long night. Hakoda accompanied Ursa to the wing of the palace that was accommodating all of the people from the prison. Ursa's first reunion was with Misaki. She looked far frailer than she ever had before, but her hold was strong when she hugged Ursa.

"Oh, my dear, I have been hearing so many stories about everything you've been doing," Misaki said to Ursa. "I'm so very proud of you." She smiled and patted Ursa's cheek. "I am not surprised to discover you are from the Fire Nation, you know. I always suspected that might be the case. You have done well, Ursa."

Ursa's next reunion was with the Water Tribe men. There were whoops and hollers, and Ursa was lifted off her feet and pulled into so many hugs that it left her breathless. She spent a good while asking and answering questions, and she couldn't keep the huge smile off of her face as they teased her. She heard Ronook tell Tamoru, "You owe me," but she wasn't sure what their bet had been and felt it better not to ask.

She did find out that the Water Tribe men had learned who she was during their stay in prison, where they had heard from one of the prisoners that the Firelord's "dead or runaway" wife was named Ursa. But like Hakoda, they had accepted that about her, and she detected no resentment or anger because of it.

Well into the night, Ursa finally got to see Zuko again. They joined Iroh for tea and conversation. "Tomorrow," Ursa said to them, "I want to go see Azula."

"I'll clear my schedule and go with you," Zuko said.

"In the meantime, perhaps we should all get some rest. We are going to have some long days as we begin to sort everything out," Iroh said. He stretched and yawned. "And it has already been a very long day."

Zuko stood and helped Ursa to her feet. He handed her crutches to her. "I'll show you to a room, Mom."

"I think I remember my way around the palace, Zuko." She smiled and touched his cheek. "And I need to see Hakoda."

Zuko's expression was torn between resignation and mortification. "Mom…"

Whether she pointed it out to him again or not, he was now very aware that she and Hakoda had been sharing a room—or a tent—for most of the time since their visit to the North Pole. So she just smiled and waved her fingers at him as she headed out of the room. As much as she would have loved to stay and talk to Zuko all night, she was content in knowing that they _did _have time now. That she could see him tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. They had so much time to make up for, but she didn't have to hurry because this was really, truly over. Yes, there would be a lot of work to do, but Ozai was in prison and she had nothing left to fear.

When she got back to the guest wing in the palace, she found some new arrivals. Smellerbee and Longshot had caught a ride from Ba Sing Se, as there were vessels being sent back and forth between the palace and the Earth Kingdom city. Ursa and Hakoda both breathed a sigh of relief when Smellerbee informed them that after another healing session, Mila was resting well.

"She says not to worry about her," Smellerbee said, "but she said Ursa would probably worry anyway. And here. I brought you guys some of your stuff from Ba Sing Se. Ursa, I figured you'd want to have your boomerang back, so that's in here, too." She gave Hakoda large bag. "So, Ursa…you used to live here, huh? This place is _huge. _I guess the house in Ba Sing Se must have felt so small."

"No, not really," Ursa replied. "I've found that you can have far too much space."

Longshot nodded at that, but Smellerbee looked doubtful. "Maybe." She stifled a yawn with her hand. "Hey, is there someplace I can sleep? I'm really tired."

Ursa found an empty bed for her and watched Smellerbee fall face-first onto it. She was snoring by the time Ursa crept out of the room. Most of the people in that wing of the palace were sleeping by then; all but one or two of the Water Tribe men had crashed when Ursa looked in on them. Hakoda was talking to Bato, but they paused when she entered. She waved at them to continue and then grabbed a spare blanket. She propped her crutches against the wall, then curled up on the floor of the guest room and closed her eyes.

She could have found her own room in which to sleep. She knew so many people who would have been appalled at the idea of her choosing to rest in a roomful of men, but she found it one of the most comforting things in world. Even Mikko's snoring was an old familiarity, one that she hadn't heard in a long time, but it brought back all of the times she had fallen asleep crammed into the fish-smelling storage space on the ship. She could almost feel the rocking of the boat underneath her.

It was still dark when she woke up, and everyone else was out cold. Hakoda had dragged a blanket right next to her and was sleeping with his arm over his head. She smiled at him and closed her eyes again, but soon found she was unable to go back to sleep. Maybe it was the restlessness and anxiety in knowing that she would be seeing Azula that day. In a mental institution. She had no idea what to expect, especially after Azula's reception of her in Ba Sing Se.

After a while, Ursa got carefully to her feet and picked up her crutches. She left the room as silently as possible. The corridors were just starting to lighten with the dawn, but everything was so quiet, like the calm after the storm. Ursa pushed herself down hallways, familiar footsteps of another life. It wasn't long before she found herself heading into the wing of the palace where her family's rooms had been. Where she had lived a life with Ozai. Where she had said her goodbyes to Zuko and Azula.

There were guards standing watch, but they took one look at her before they bowed and let her pass. There was a sharp ache in the middle of her chest as she stopped in the corridor that had held the old rooms. She slowly pushed open the door to Azula's room. It had changed in the years since she had been gone, but she could still see bits of Azula in it.

Would Azula ever be able to come back to it? Would it ever be safe for those around her? There had to be hope for her. Ursa had to hold onto hope for her.

When Ursa opened the door to Zuko's room, the ache in her chest faded as she saw that her son was sound asleep in his bed. She wondered when he had finally been able to get to bed, and knew that duties would call him before long. She softly closed his door and headed into the last room—the most difficult one. The room that had been hers and Ozai's, the room where she had confronted him about Zuko, where she had sealed Firelord Azulon's death, where she had been burned by her husband.

Not much had changed within it, except that anything inside that had been hers—any painting or decoration—had been removed. She stood in the doorway and looked around it. It was…distant. Distant, and yet parts of it were so fresh. She could almost hear Ozai's voice, almost see her old nightmares coming to life before her eyes. There had been some good times in this room, too, but the bad things overwhelmed the good.

And she knew then that as much peace as she had made with herself, she still had some things to resolve. She had known it all along, but had been trying not to focus on it, because she knew it was going to be difficult.

She would think about that later, after she had gone to visit Azula.

Ursa left the wing of the palace, and she wasn't quite sure where she was going until she found herself outside of the palace kitchens. There were already several servants working on breakfast, and when one of them spotted her and asked if she desired anything, Ursa nodded. "A loaf of bread, please? It can be a very old loaf. I don't plan on eating it."

The servant looked at her curiously, but retrieved a round loaf of bread. Ursa thanked her and continued onward, this time certain of where she was going. It wasn't long before she came to the courtyard where she had spent so much time when she lived at the palace. Her garden had been very close, and just before she left, she had planted flowers in this very courtyard, around the little pond with the turtleducks. It had been something to keep her busy in the wake of learning about Lu Ten's death. She could see that there were still some flowers left and that there were turtleducks swimming in the water under the early morning sunlight.

She could also see that the courtyard wasn't empty. Katara stood beside the fountain, bending some of the water from the pond around her head and body, whipping it out over the air before pulling it back. It was like watching an intricate dance, but Ursa saw the frustration behind the movements. She hesitated for a moment before deciding to take the opportunity to try to talk to Katara, and she made her way over to the pond.

Katara saw her coming and for a moment, the water hung suspended around her before she quickly dumped it back into the pond and turned to walk away.

Ursa broke her bread in half. "Bread?"

Katara paused and glanced at the bread Ursa was holding out to her. "I'm not hungry."

"Oh, it's not to eat. It's for the turtleducks." Ursa pressed the bread into Katara's hands, then hobbled to the edge of the pond and carefully lowered herself beside it. She placed her crutches next to her.

Katara stood holding the bread and Ursa thought she was going to drop it and walk away, but Katara slowly sat at the edge of the water. Ursa broke off part of her half of the loaf and crumbled it into the water. Several turtleducks at the opposite end of the pond swam over quickly and gobbled it up. After a moment's hesitation, Katara dropped some in, too.

"I used to come here with my children when they were very small," Ursa said. "Then one day Azula said she was getting too old to do a silly thing like feed turtleducks." She glanced over at Katara. "I haven't had a chance to thank you. You saved both of my children during the last battle. I know that Azula was trying to kill you—to kill both you and Zuko." Ursa didn't think it would ever stop hurting to talk about her daughter in such a way. "You didn't have to spare her life, but you did."

Katara looked straight ahead. "I'm not a killer." The words came out angrily, almost accusing.

Ursa thought she understood. She didn't answer right away. She considered her next words as she threw more bread to the turtleducks. "I can only imagine what you must think of me. Yes, I killed to save my children. To save Zuko. That was my sacrifice, and one that cost me dearly. It took me years to accept myself in light of what I had done. I didn't think forgiveness would ever be possible."

"You killed the man who was responsible for ordering the elimination of all the waterbenders in the South Pole. I don't feel sorry for him. And I get it. I know that Zuko would have been dead a long time ago if not for you. He's helped me, too, you know. So I guess in a way…you helped, too. It's just…"

"You're worried about me with your father."

Katara tensed and continued to keep her eyes on the water. "He loved my mother very much."

There were unspoken words in that, too. "I know he did," Ursa answered softly. "I've heard a lot about your mother since I met the Water Tribe. I've heard that she was smart and kind and that she made the best stewed sea prunes in your village. And I'm sure what I've heard doesn't even begin to come close to describing what a special person she was."

Ursa saw tears slide down Katara's cheeks, but she quickly wiped them away.

"Your mother was very loved, and she was lucky to have you and your brother and father. Katara, I would never, ever try to replace her. Even if I wanted to—and I don't—it would be impossible. Your mother couldn't be replaced by anybody."

Katara took a deep breath and turned to face Ursa completely. "I've barely seen my father in the last few years. I don't…" She swallowed.

"I would never dream of trying to take him from you or Sokka, anymore than he would take me from my children." Ursa tossed the last of her bread in the water and dusted off her hands. She smiled at Katara. "It's all right if you don't trust me or don't like me, but I want you to know you have nothing to fear from me. I do love your father very much. He taught me how to trust again. He taught me—all of the men of the Southern Tribe taught me—how to move on and how to see worth in myself when all I had seen for years was shame. Your father forgave me before he knew everything I had done, and every time I was sure he would reach a breaking point and turn me away, he only held me closer. I didn't understand that. I still don't understand it completely. But he showed me that I could love again. He is the most extraordinary man I have ever met." She gave Katara a sideways smile. "With the strangest humor I've ever seen."

That got a small laugh out of Katara. "Sokka has the same humor," she said ruefully. "You should see them together." Her expression was less closed off than it had been when Ursa had arrived. She set the rest of her bread down, and the turtleducks rushed over to nibble on it.

Katara stared toward the pond in silence, and then rolled suddenly onto her knees. Ursa expected her to get up and leave, but she bended some water out of the pond and wrapped her hands in it. Ursa realized what Katara was doing as she lowered her glowing hands to Ursa's broken leg.

"Broken legs mostly just take time to heal," Katara said matter-of-factly, as if she had not just had such an intense conversation with Ursa, "but I can help it along." Several moments later, she frowned. "It's almost healed already. How long ago did you break it?"

"About a month ago."

Katara nodded. "Good. In that case, maybe I _can _finish healing it. We need to unwrap the bandage."

When she finished, she bended the water back into the pond and she stood, offering a hand to Ursa. Ursa took it and rose, tentatively testing her leg. There was no pain, but it was weak and she couldn't walk on it without almost falling over.

"Here." Katara handed her one of her crutches. "It will take some time to build the muscles in your leg back up after not using it for a month. If you hang onto one crutch, you can start putting weight on that leg until you can walk comfortably again."

"Thank you, Katara."

Katara turned and began to walk away, but then paused. Without looking at Ursa, she said, "My dad's whole face lights up when he looks at you. It's been a long time since I've seen him look like that. And it's hard, because…you're _not _my mom, but…" She took another breath and let it out. "I want him to be happy."

Ursa watched her walk away. She let out a deep breath and turned her eyes upward to the bright blue sky. She might still have hurdles to overcome with Katara, but she felt like she had just taken a huge step in building a bridge with her.


	31. Through the Abyss

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who reviewed: Jokegirl, JFAPOI, things24, jayma, MacCristen, jsalbano, Aristeia, ennui deMorte, FireChildSlytherin5, GraysonPaladin, Angelfly06, Generator X, Kimjuni2, ArrayePL, fifth11, Sarah, Chaos Sparda, Obscure Stranger, Ayala Atreides, and josimar. :)

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**Chapter Thirty-One - Through the Abyss**

Ursa was absent when Hakoda woke up, but it wasn't long before she returned. She was only using one crutch, the bandage on her leg was gone, and she was putting her weight on both legs. "Katara," she explained to him with a smile, "helped me." She squeezed Hakoda's arm. "It's going to be fine, Hakoda."

He wasn't sure what had gone on between Ursa and Katara, but he was encouraged that it had been something positive, and maybe soon his daughter would be ready to talk to him.

"I need to dress and go meet Zuko," Ursa said. "We're going to see Azula now."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Hakoda asked. "I don't have to go into the institution, if it would make it easier."

Ursa shook her head. "Thank you, but I think Zuko and I should do this alone. At least the first time. But…" She hesitated.

Hakoda raised an eyebrow.

"I'll talk to you after I get back," she said. "In the meantime, I'm sure your children would like some time with you, and it might be best if I'm out of the way for a little while."

Within a short time, she had left. Hakoda hoped for the best for her visit with Azula, but knew that there was not going to be a magic cure for all of the years that Azula had been influenced by her father. But maybe, with time and with love, there could be healing.

Hakoda spent the early morning with Sokka, catching up over a quiet breakfast with just the two of them. "So what are you going to do now, Dad?" Sokka asked after they had talked for a while. "I guess the Water Tribe's going to sail back home soon."

Hakoda nodded. "They're planning to leave tomorrow."

"But you're not going yet," Sokka guessed.

"Not quite. There's still a lot to consider," Hakoda said.

"Like Ursa. Have I mentioned how weird this is? Because this is weird. I mean…my stepmother is…" Sokka waved his hands in the air, as if he wasn't quite sure what description to go with. "How's it going to work for you two? Will you be staying here? Going back to the South Pole? Traveling between the two?"

"We both have a lot of catching up to do with our families," Hakoda said, "so we'll see. We haven't had time to talk about it now that the war has ended. What about you, Sokka? Are you going back to the South Pole?"

"To see Gran Gran and everyone, yeah," Sokka said, "but I don't know if I'll stay. A lot's happened since we left."

"Yes. It certainly has."

"Dad?"

Hakoda and Sokka turned to see Katara standing in the doorway of the room, an expression of uncertainty on her face.

"Can we talk?" she asked.

"Of course," Hakoda replied.

"You don't have to go, Sokka," Katara said when he stood to his feet.

Sokka waved. "That's all right. I have things to do, people to bother."

When he was out of the room, Katara crossed over to sit on the cushion Sokka had been occupying. She shook her head when Hakoda offered her breakfast. "I'm not very hungry." She clasped her fingers together. "I talked to Ursa this morning."

"She mentioned that you had helped her with her leg. Thank you."

"She's…nice," Katara admitted. "And…I know you love her, Dad. I know loving someone isn't always something you can help." A forlorn sort of smile crossed her face. "It's a complicated thing," she whispered, and Hakoda wasn't sure if she was talking to him or to herself. "I know that, too." She blinked, and her eyes focused again on him. "It will still take me some time to get used to it."

"I understand." Hakoda watched Katara close her eyes and reach up to touch her necklace—the necklace that had belonged to Kya, and to Hakoda's mother before that. "Is there something else on your mind, Katara?" She seemed to have a lot more to say, but he wasn't sure if it was about Ursa or something else.

"I…" Katara's voice hitched, and she opened her eyes. "I'm not sure how to…" She trailed off. It was a moment before she spoke again, and when she did, her voice was so soft that he had to lean forward to hear her. "I need to talk to you about Mom. About how she died."

Hakoda stiffened and his chest tightened with a sudden, old hurt, one that was dull after years of being worn down, but still very familiar. "Okay."

"Did you know that she died because of me?" Katara lifted her gaze to Hakoda's. "Did you know that the Fire Nation came to our village looking for a waterbender?"

The pain in Hakoda deepened. Was Katara blaming herself? _Had _she been blaming herself all this time? "I suspected that they had come looking for waterbenders," he admitted, "but I don't know what happened between your mother and the man who killed her."

"I do. His name is Yon Rha. And I almost killed him."

Hakoda's breath caught in his throat, and he kept his eyes fixed on Katara and waited for her to explain.

She started at the beginning, telling Hakoda about Zuko's aid in discovering who had killed Kya and where the man was. She told him about her confrontation with Yon Rha. "I let him go. I…couldn't…" There were tears spilling down her cheeks, and she ducked her head.

Hakoda's eyes stung. He moved around the table between them and pulled Katara into his arms. He ran a hand over her hair as he had done when she was a child and had woken with nightmares. For a brief moment, she wasn't a master waterbender and healer or a hero of the century-long war. She was just his little girl.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and he wasn't sure if she was apologizing because she felt guilt for Kya's death or because she had been unable to kill Kya's murderer.

"You did the right thing, Katara, and I'm proud of you. And your mother's death was not your fault. It was never your fault, and she wouldn't want you carrying _any _of that blame."

Katara leaned back and wiped her eyes. "I know. I know. It was _his _fault." She touched her necklace and whispered, "I still miss her. It's a little easier now that I know who was responsible and now that the war is over. But I still miss her." She searched Hakoda's eyes and a hint of a smile crossed her face. "There have been so many people who lost loved ones during this war. Zuko wasn't sure for a long time what happened to his mother and…I _am_ grateful for the people who came back."

:-:-:-:-:

The mental asylum on Hing Wa Island was not a place that Ursa had ever visited. Zuko had told her that it was in top condition and that the people assigned to take care of Azula were efficient and wouldn't mistreat her. Ursa wasn't sure how to express her gratitude to Zuko for his care of his sister. Given everything that Azula had done to the people around her, and to Zuko, no one would have blamed him if he had thrown Azula into the deepest dungeon to rot.

"It's not going to be pleasant," Zuko murmured to her as they walked into the institution. "They have her completely bound right now so that she can't firebend at anyone, and she's on constant watch to make sure she doesn't set herself on fire. I don't think she would, but in her state…"

Ursa nodded her understanding. She ached too much to try to speak. She walked beside Zuko as they followed the man in charge of the asylum to Azula's room. There was a woman standing watch right outside a barred window that looked into the room.

"I'll wait right here," the head man told her as he unlocked the door.

"I'll wait, too," Zuko said. "I think it may go better for you if Azula doesn't see me at first."

Ursa squeezed his arm and stepped up to the door. She was more thankful than ever for Katara's help in healing her leg; it was a relief to be able to walk with only the support of one crutch. She nodded at the head of the facility and he opened the door enough to give her entrance, and closed it again when she stepped inside. Out of the corner of her eye, Ursa could see the guard watching through the bars, but all of her attention was focused on the young woman in the far corner of the room.

The room itself was empty of any adornments or furniture except for the mat in the corner where Azula was sitting. Ursa hardly recognized her daughter. The proud, belligerent girl that had thrown her into prison in Ba Sing Se was gone. This girl was broken. The front of her hair was slashed off awkwardly and other strands dangled in her face. Her feet metal casings over them, as did her hands. Her arms were pinned to her sides and her legs bound together with wrapped cloth. The only danger of her firebending would be from her mouth. Zuko had told her that Azula had firebended from her mouth during the comet, but Ursa wasn't certain Azula was strong enough to do it without the power of Sozin's Comet.

In any case, she had never been afraid of her daughter before and she wasn't now. All she felt as she looked at Azula was pain, grief, and strongest of all, love.

And when Azula's eyes met hers, she could see that there was something very wrong. There was no determination, no assuredness in her gaze. There was hate and anger and desperation, and something else. Something unbalanced. That imbalance was in her voice, too, when she demanded, "What are you doing here, Mother?"

Azula was frantic, frenzied, _wrong_. "Oh, Azula…I'm so sorry."

"_I don't want your pity!_" Azula thrashed about in vain, fighting desperately against the bonds that held her. "I don't need your pity! I don't need you! I never needed you! You died a long time ago!"

Ursa slowly crossed the room toward Azula, who struggled harder and still got nowhere. She was not surprised that Azula was denying her so strongly, but it didn't make her words hurt any less. "I felt dead for a very long time after I had to leave you, Azula." She reached her daughter and knelt down beside her as she set her crutch on the ground. "I would have given anything to have stayed with you. I would have given anything to have been with you."

_"Lies! _Lies, lies, lies! That's all you ever do! That's all anyone ever does!" Azula cried. "I hate you! You left and I was glad! You never loved me."

"I've always loved you."

"Father was the only one who ever saw me for everything I could be!"

Azula had always depended so much on her father for approval and acceptance. And in the end, this is what it had brought her. Insanity.

Ursa reached out and wrapped her arms around Azula. Azula shouted and tried to throw her head against Ursa's, but Ursa had suspected she might try that and moved her head out of the way just in time. "I love you, Azula," she repeated firmly.

"_No, you don't!_"

"I will love you no matter what."

"_Shut up!_ I don't need your love! I don't…I don't…" Azula thrashed wildly, and Ursa knew that if she hadn't been almost entirely immobilized, she would have stood no chance against Azula.

But she _was _immobilized, and so Ursa held onto her for a few seconds longer before drawing back and smoothing the tangled hair out of Azula's eyes. She cupped Azula's face in her hands and for at least a few seconds, Azula froze and stared at her with wide eyes. "I hope," Ursa said quietly, "that one day you might be able to forgive me, but even if you hate me forever, it will never change how I feel about you. Nothing has ever changed my love for you. You have always been my little girl." _And your father robbed me of the chance to watch you grow up, of the chance to try to keep you from becoming…this_.

Ursa didn't say it, because she knew that saying anything derogatory about Ozai would only set Azula off, and more than that, she was not going to make this about Ozai. "I have a lot to make up for, Azula. And I know you don't trust me. I don't know if you ever will."

Azula jerked her face away from Ursa then and started screaming, "Get out, get out, get out, get out!" over and over again.

The door to the room opened and the head of the facility nodded at Ursa.

"I'll be back, Azula," Ursa said, though she wasn't sure Azula heard her over the yelling. "I promise."

She didn't want to leave, but she knew she had done all she could for that moment, and that she needed to give Azula time to process that she had been there and what she had said. Stepping out of the door while Azula was still screaming was heart-wrenching. She leaned against the wall and squeezed her eyes shut, Azula's cries of _"get out!"_ piercing her ears.

A hand rested on her shoulder, and Ursa opened her eyes to see Zuko standing in front of her. "I don't think she'll do any better if I go in there right now. Do you want to stay?" he asked her.

"Yes, but I think I should go, at least for today," Ursa said hoarsely. She placed a hand on Zuko's and squeezed it tightly. "I'll come back soon."

:-:-:-:-:

Hours later, Ursa sat beside the turtleduck pond at the palace, her knees tucked up against her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around her legs. She was hardly aware of the summer noises in the courtyard around her; all of her thoughts were on Azula in the institution. Her shattered child. She knew that some people would say it was fitting. After all of the torment that Azula had caused, after all of the people and families she had broken in her quest to be the best in the Fire Nation and to follow in her father's footsteps, they would think insanity was the least she deserved.

Ursa pressed her face to her knees. She'd had a pit the size of the Great Divide inside of her since leaving the asylum. She was wrestling with a small amount of the guilt she had long left behind her, but mostly, she was wrestling with a burning, surging hatred toward Ozai. The emotions were not unfamiliar. She had experienced the same thing when she had discovered that Ozai had burned Zuko's face, when she had accepted that Ozai was responsible for his choices.

And his choices had brought Azula far more lasting pain than a burn scar.

"There you are. Zuko told me you were out here."

Ursa jumped and her head swiveled toward Hakoda as he approached. She was silent as he sat down beside her.

"I didn't know you'd returned until I saw Zuko," he said quietly.

"I needed some time alone."

"I figured. Do you need more time? I can leave."

Ursa reached over and slipped her fingers between Hakoda's. "No."

Silence fell between them, not uncomfortable, as Ursa continued to gaze out at the pond. "I can't leave the Fire Nation right now, Hakoda," she finally said. "I have to try to help Azula. She doesn't trust me. I don't think she trusts anybody. She's in so much pain and she's…" Ursa voice hitched and she met Hakoda's eyes. "I know that you have a home and family waiting in the South Pole and you have to lead your people, and I can visit with you, but—"

"Ursa, I didn't expect you to just jump up and move as soon as you were reunited with your children. The South Pole has held up this long; I don't think it's going to fall apart if I'm not there."

Ursa closed her eyes. She knew Hakoda meant it, but she also knew how much he missed his home and she didn't want to be the one keeping him from it.

Hakoda's fingers tightened on hers. "I'm with you," he said simply, "and my home is wherever you are."

She wondered if she had said something about that out loud, but was sure she hadn't. Hakoda was just that perceptive.

"From the depths of the abyss to the far reaches of the sky," Hakoda murmured, and when she looked at him, puzzled, he smiled. "It's one of the traditional wedding vows in the South Pole. 'I will be with you through the days without light and the midnight sun. From the depths of the abyss to the far reaches of the sky…' I'm not going anywhere, Ursa."

The words rolled over Ursa's mind as she turned her gaze back to the turtleduck pond. There had been something similar in Ozai's wedding vows to her, but of course, those had been ripped apart. If there was an abyss, then Ozai had dragged her down into it.

And Hakoda had walked with her through it since the first day she had met him.

"Hakoda." Her hand clenched on his and she turned to face him completely. "I have something I need to do. Something I don't want to do. I…" She took a deep breath, and Hakoda's other hand came up to fold hers between his. "I'm terrified and I have no reason to be. I still have so much anger and hatred and bitterness toward Ozai and I need to face that. I need to face him. Will you come with me? Not into his cell. I need to do that alone. But will you come with me to the prison and wait for me?"

Hakoda leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You don't even need to ask."

:-:-:-:-:

The sun was setting when Hakoda walked with Ursa to the prison near the palace. She hadn't told Zuko she was going; she hadn't told anyone except Hakoda. The guard at the prison seemed surprised to see her, but agreed to take her to Ozai's cell. Ursa turned to Hakoda. Though he was doing a good job concealing it, she could see the worry in his eyes.

"I'll be back," she whispered.

"I'll be right here," he answered.

As Ursa followed the guard toward Ozai's cell, her stomach was in knots and her hands were sweaty. She knew that there was nothing to fear. Ozai couldn't harm her. He was imprisoned, he had no firebending, and she wasn't defenseless. She had to do this. She had to put the last of her demons to rest before she could move on with her future.

She nodded at the guard, who bowed her head at Ursa and opened the cell door. Ursa propped her crutch against the outside wall of the prison. She didn't want to enter and face Ozai holding it; she wanted to be standing on her own two legs. She stepped carefully inside. She almost stumbled, but managed to stay upright and put her weight on her good leg. She stood still and looked at the man in the cell.

Ozai raised his head and their gazes locked. Even in his utter defeat, she could see the haughtiness on his face. The only change in his expression upon seeing her was the narrowing of his eyes. For a moment, neither of them spoke, but Ozai finally broke the silence. "So you're still alive. Did you come to gloat?"

"I came to see you one last time." Ursa continued to meet his eyes levelly. Any anxiety that she had felt before coming inside had dissipated. "I spent so many years," she said softly, "hating myself. Hating you. Fearing for Zuko and Azula. It's only in hindsight that I can see how you brought about your own demise in everything you did."

Ozai's eyes narrowed further. "My only mistake was ever listening to you."

She didn't dignify that with an answer. She simply continued, "I don't want to hate you anymore. It takes too much out of me, so I am going to choose not to hate you. I am going to choose to let go. I will not waste another moment of my life on you. But for what you did to Zuko and Azula, you deserve to spend the rest of your life in here feeling the loss of all the power and control you prized so highly above your family."

He made a soft scoffing noise. "I should have rid myself of you long before I did. You brought weakness to my children. You and your _bloodline_."

"I'm proud of my bloodline. I wonder if you can still say the same of yours. You almost destroyed my children, and this country—and the whole world. And now, I am going to continue to help repair the damages you caused. I'm going to do it with people who know what family really means and with a husband who will never give me cause to hate him." Ursa then turned and cautiously put weight on her weak leg as she reached for the door. "Goodbye, Ozai."

She stepped outside and closed the door before he could say anything else, then leaned back against the prison wall and closed her eyes tightly. That had taken far less time than she had expected, but…she had said everything she had needed to say, and she felt freer than she ever had in her entire life. Free of Ozai. Free of any remaining hold he might have had on her.

Then why was she trembling? Why did she feel like she was about to be sick?

"Lady Ursa?" the guard asked in concern.

Ursa opened her eyes. "I'm all right." She took her crutch and made her way slowly back down toward where Hakoda was waiting for her. She made it all the way to him, then dropped her crutch and put her arms around him. She was shaking worse than ever, and she didn't realize she was crying until Hakoda brushed his fingers over her cheeks. "I'm all right," she tried to assure him through the tears streaming out of her eyes. But she pressed her face to his shoulder and held to him tightly.

She wasn't sure if she was crying for all of the pieces of herself she had found or all that had been lost, for Azula and her brokenness or for Zuko and his wholeness. But there was relief and pain and joy and sorrow crashing down around her in a muddled, bewildering, mess.

Hakoda didn't speak. He just kept her in his arms and let her cry for all of it. And she knew, even in the middle of her confusing tears, that no matter what abyss they found themselves walking in, they would get through it together.


	32. A Mother's Love

**Author's Note: **Thank you to jayma, ArrayePL, Sarah, JFAPOI, Generator X, Meerkatgirl13, GraysonPaladin, Angelfly06, Avatar of Wurms, Stonecreek, FireChildSlytherin5, Aussie-Muggle, Aristeia, Kimjuni2, Obscure Stranger, Kessel Run, and things24 for reviewing. :)

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**Chapter Thirty-Two - A Mother's Love**

Healing was ever an ongoing process. It was something that Ursa saw everyday, not only in herself, but in the people she loved. For her, when she looked back through her life with the Water Tribe, she could pinpoint specific moments that had brought new revelations and fresh healings of old wounds.

The day she first went to see Azula and confronted Ozai was another new beginning, another day of revelation, and not just for her. After crying herself hoarse on Hakoda's shoulder, she spent the next part of the night walking through the palace with him. She showed him the places where she had spent much of her time—the places that brought good memories, and the ones that brought bad.

When they stopped back at Ursa's favorite place, the courtyard with the pond that was near her old garden, she turned to Hakoda. "What's wrong?" she asked him. "Something has been bothering you."

"It can wait. You've already had a very long day."

Ursa reached over and rested her palm against his cheek. "And you've been with me through most of it. If something is on your mind, Hakoda, I don't want you to keep silent for my sake." Her fingers trailed down his face and she looked at him searchingly.

He was quiet for a moment longer, and then he began to speak. He told her about how Katara, with Zuko's assistance, had found Kya's killer. It was her turn to hold him and listen to him speak of his grief. There was grief for Katara and what she had suffered because of Kya's death, her guilt and blame. There was sorrow for Sokka and how he'd had to take such a heavy load on his shoulders at such a young age. There was Hakoda's anger toward a man so twisted that he had not only killed Kya, but had offered to let Katara take his mother in exchange.

Though Ursa knew that Hakoda's spirit was far more healed from the pain of Kya's loss than Ursa could imagine, she also knew that some things could bring fresh pain to an old injury.

Likewise, Ursa may have been free of Ozai and his hold on her, but in the weeks and months that followed, she still had moments of hardship. Times she would see her scar in the mirror and flash back to the night she had been burned. Nights when she would wake from a nightmare drenched in sweat and stifling a scream. These moments were infrequent, but they were still there. Maybe one day they would be completely gone. She didn't know. All she could do was walk forward one step at a time.

She and Hakoda traveled a lot between the Fire Nation and the South Pole in the first months following the war. Zuko had designated an airship entirely for their use, so that they could move quickly from one place to another. The first time they went to the South Pole, it was as part of a large diplomatic mission with Zuko. Hakoda's children went with them, and they had a huge reunion with their kin in the Southern Water Tribe. Hakoda introduced Ursa to his mother and the women in the South Pole. By that point, they had already heard all about her from the men, and they all treated her with graciousness and hospitality. Ursa loved getting to see the men she had grown so close to with the wives and children they had fought so long and so hard to protect.

Wherever she and Hakoda were, Ursa regularly traveled to the mental institution to see Azula. The first few weeks were the hardest. Azula was prone to fits of rage and hysterical screaming, and Ursa was told by her caretakers that Azula seemed to have hallucinations at times. Once when Ursa was visiting, Azula insisted that Ursa wasn't real, and Ursa wondered if her daughter ever hallucinated about her.

After that, Ursa came to realize that when she had physical contact with Azula, it helped her to know and accept that Ursa was really there. It took time, patience, and convincing, but after a while, Azula's temperament slowly began to change and to calm down so that the fits of rage and screaming became less. But what was left was still a mess. Azula had moments of lucidity when she seemed to be the proud princess that Ursa remembered, yet it seemed to be a fallback, a façade—it was all that Azula knew. All she knew how to be. The rest of the time, Azula didn't seem to be completely _there, _as if she was existing in another place entirely.

As Azula grew a little more stable, she was no longer immobilized in her room. She was still prevented from firebending—she still had the casing, rather like large metal boots and gloves, around her feet and hands, but she could get up and walk around the room, though the staff was vigilant in keeping her from escaping.

When Ursa visited Azula, if it was a good day and she could stay without upsetting Azula into a frenzied rage, then Ursa would talk to her. She talked of her childhood, of the few memories she had of her parents and her years with her aunt. She talked about her grandfather, Avatar Roku. She talked about her time in the Earth Kingdom and with the Water Tribe. She talked about Hakoda. Azula didn't always listen, off in a distant fog, and if she did listen, she sometimes spat degrading remarks at Ursa.

Many other things happened in the months following the war, both within the scope of Ursa's family and outside of it. There were skirmishes that had to be stopped, peace treaties to be signed, assassination attempts on diplomats and leaders (including one on Zuko, by one of his own countrymen), rebuilding and resettling.

Ursa and Hakoda saw Sokka and Katara quite often, but they were also busy in the aftermath of the war, with friends, with meetings, with continuing to bring peace to the world. Ursa knew that Hakoda treasured every moment he had with them, and she enjoyed getting to know them better.

She and Hakoda watched Smellerbee and Longshot set off for the Earth Kingdom with promises to visit. "Though maybe when you're in the Fire Nation instead of the South Pole," Smellerbee said, "'cause it's a lot warmer here." They said their goodbyes to Teo, who left with his father for the Northern Air Temple, and to The Duke, who was going to take up farming with Pipsqueak. They escorted Misaki back to Huang and helped set her up in her home, and spent some time reuniting with the villagers.

Before Ursa and Hakoda left Huang, they stopped in front of her inn—or what was left of it, which wasn't much at all. After it burned, the villagers hadn't had the money or resources to rebuild it, so it sat at the top of the hill, nothing left of it but the memories.

"It seems like so long ago," she whispered as she stared at the blackened ruins. "This part of my life…and it was so hard to lose it at the time, but…it's what brought me to you. Isn't it strange how sometimes the things that seem the worst end up leading us to the things that are the most precious?" She smiled at him. "I still remember you trying to convince me that the unexpected can be the best thing to happen to us. All that talk about crashing into icebergs and finding our way home again."

Hakoda squeezed her hand, and Ursa looked for another moment at the inn before she turned away and said, "I'm ready to go now."

Some months after the war ended, Ursa and Hakoda went to Ba Sing Se. First they stopped to see Ran and Mila. Mila had fully recovered from her burns, though she had many scars on one side of her body, but despite that, Ursa had never seen her happier. Her belly was rounding out as the little one within her grew, and she and Ursa chatted over tea.

After leaving Ran and Mila's, Ursa and Hakoda went to Iroh's teashop. It was the first time that Ursa had seen the place that Iroh loved so much. It was a charming, flourishing shop, and she and Hakoda accepted Iroh's invitation to stay the night with him. After Hakoda went to sleep that night, Ursa found opportunity to sit with Iroh and talk to him about everything that had been happening with Zuko and Azula and the rest of her life since the war ended.

"You and Hakoda haven't had your wedding ceremony yet, right? I'm sure you haven't, because I wasn't invited," Iroh teased, pouring them both another cup of tea.

"No, not yet. The Southern Tribe is chomping at the bit to celebrate, but things have…just been so busy."

Iroh raised his eyebrows. "Life is often busy, Ursa." He looked at her shrewdly. "I believe you are happy, but something seems to be weighing on your spirit. Are the people at the South Pole treating you well?"

Ursa smiled. "The people in the South Pole are wonderful. I love it when we're there. It may be a cold place to live, but it's beautiful and the people make it all worth it."

"Yet something troubles you."

Iroh rivaled Hakoda for his perception, and Ursa wasn't entirely sure how to answer him.

"I…" Ursa sighed. "Before the war ended, I learned how to celebrate and to _live _my life, really live it, even in the midst of war and trials and uncertainty. Sometimes I think living in a time of peace is far more difficult. I know that there's not a magic solution to right all of the wrongs, but…Azula…it's complicated."

Iroh took a sip of his tea. "Azula has always been complicated."

Ursa set her tea down and folded her hands on her lap. "Azula hurt so many people. But she's hurting so much right now and all I want to do is to help take away some of that pain. Now that I can finally see her, finally hold her and talk to her, I'm trying so hard to accept that she might never really come back to me. I knew before the war was over that I might lose her, so why should I be struggling this much after it?"

"Because it _is _over. The war, and along with it, all of your waiting and wondering. So many people don't know what to do with themselves, or how to react to people who were supposed to be enemies. People have forgotten that there's always meant to be a balance and they are all trying to figure out what that balance is. We have all been so divided and out of step with one another for so long that when we look at each other, often we can only see our differences." Iroh held out one hand and a tiny flame sprang to life on his palm. "What do you see when you look at this, Ursa?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Fire."

He was quiet, waiting for something else. She gazed at it and continued, "Heat. Burning. Something that keeps me alive and keeps me warm, but which also has brought me great pain and destruction."

The flame grew a little. "So many people see fire as destruction," Iroh said. "Even the firebenders! We have been so out of balance with ourselves for so long that we have forgotten that there are two sides to everything. Fire can be used for destruction, Ursa, but it is also passion. It can mean death, but it is also life. It burns within us all, but it is the firebenders who can touch it and choose how to use it and find the beauty in it. And to share that beauty with others."

He closed his fist, and the fire disappeared. Ursa met his eyes, and he continued quietly, "Azula was unbalanced long before the war ended. For her, firebending was control, precision, a way to invoke fear. I watched her, too, Ursa, after you left. I tried to help and teach both Azula and Zuko, but Ozai only pulled Azula further under his influence. He would have done that whether you were present or not. There comes a time in every child's life where they know what they are doing and they are accountable for their choices. Azula is not the only one who made poor decisions, but she does not know how to change. She does not know how to trust."

"No," Ursa agreed. "Even as a child, she was so distrustful."

"Her mind is at war with itself. She has never learned that sometimes you have to lose everything to gain anything, that sometimes having control means letting go of it. Perhaps she will never see this, Ursa. I do not know what the future holds for her. But," Iroh held up one finger, "I do know that she has a wonderful mother who understands that there is always hope."

When Ursa finally went to lie down next to Hakoda, she was awake a great deal of the night, staring at the ceiling in Iroh's guest room and thinking over his words. Thinking of Azula and how her power and firebending had been everything to her, and how it had all had been snatched out from under her. No trust, as Iroh had said. Only knowing a twisted form of Ozai's love these past years. In her own way, trying to please Ozai as much as Zuko had when he sought the Avatar to regain Ozai's approval.

And she thought of her own journey of trust and hope, of everything the Water Tribe had taught her and everything she had figured out for herself.

"Hakoda," she said the next morning, "before we go to the South Pole, I need to go see Azula."

He didn't ask why. He just nodded. "Okay."

:-:-:-:-:

Ursa went to Azula's room alone, while Hakoda waited for her. Ursa knew as soon as she saw Azula that she was having one of her better days. She was sitting in a corner, and when Ursa stepped into the room and heard the door lock behind her, Azula's gaze went to Ursa disinterestedly.

"Hello, Azula."

Azula didn't answer. She turned her eyes away and didn't move as Ursa approached her. Ursa knew that the guard outside was watching carefully, and that the head of the asylum was also standing right outside with several others, waiting to unlock the door and burst in if necessary. It wasn't something they usually did, but when Ursa had told him what she wanted to do, he had thought _she _was crazy. Not that he had said it, but he had tried to talk her out of it. He had warned her how dangerous it could be.

"I know," she had said calmly. "That's the point."

She crouched in front of Azula and held out a key. This got Azula to look at her again, and then she froze when Ursa reached for her metal-booted feet. One at a time, Ursa unlocked both of them, and then did the same to her metal-gloved hands, sliding them off of Azula's limbs.

It was the first time since being put in the institute that Azula had been completely free of her bonds, and Ursa could see how emaciated and pale Azula's hands and feet were. But she only got a glimpse of it when Azula's too-thin hand shot out and she grabbed Ursa around the neck.

Ursa's eyes met Azula's, unafraid even as Azula's fingers tightened. Ursa didn't raise an arm in self-defense, even when Azula hissed, "I could burn you right through before anyone could even open that door."

"Yes," Ursa agreed softly, "you could."

"I could end it all. Maybe then it would stop. Maybe it would all stop. Maybe…" Azula's fingers trembled.

"Maybe it would." Ursa searched her daughter's eyes. Behind the sudden hardness in them, she could see the turmoil, the pain, the uncertainty. And Ursa honestly did not know what Azula would do, but this had to start somewhere. _Trust has to start somewhere. I know this. I've seen it. Even when I didn't know how to trust myself, Hakoda and the other men of the tribe decided to trust me. No one trusts Azula. No one, except maybe Ozai, has ever really trusted her. _"If you want control, Azula, then I am giving it to you. But I'm not afraid of you. I am never going to be afraid of you, even if you choose to end my life right now. I love you, and I am going to choose to believe in you, even if you choose not to believe in me."

Azula's eyes widened and her hand shook so badly that Ursa's body vibrated with the motion. She stared at Ursa, who stared right back, unflinching. "I would do anything for you, Azula," she whispered. "I would walk in the very depths of the Spirit World for you if I needed to."

Azula's hand dropped from her throat and then she shouted, an agonized, wordless yell, as fire shot out of her hands. Not toward Ursa, but directed at the fire-proof walls of her room. When the flames stopped, Azula doubled over, tears pouring down her face, and her shouting became words. "You left me! Everyone left me! Everyone, but you most of all! You left me, Mom! _You left me_!"

It was the first time since being reunited with Azula that she had called Ursa "Mom" instead of "Mother."

Ursa gently touched Azula's shoulder, and then Azula had collapsed against Ursa, her fingers clutching Ursa's robes and digging into her back, her tears dripping onto Ursa's lap, her accusations no longer shouts, but sobs of "you left me" and "I hate you!"

And Ursa cried, too, silent tears that streamed down her face as she held onto Azula and whispered to her that she loved her.

Ursa didn't know if Azula's mind would ever fully mend. She didn't know if Azula would ever be able to leave the institute, but she knew that no matter what happened, she had just taken another step with her daughter, perhaps the greatest step so far.

And whatever the next minute brought, or the next day or month or year, right now, _this _moment was what mattered.


	33. Epilogue: Guiding Me Home

**Author's Note: **I cannot thank you all enough for your support as I wrote this. It ended up being about three times as long as I had originally thought it would be, but I had so much fun writing it, and I hope you all have enjoyed reading it.

And a final thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: Obscure Stranger, Sarah, hplo, jennyz, Avatar of Wurms, Aussie-Muggle, things24, Stonecreek, Generator X, FireChildSlytherin5, JFAPOI, Aristeia, Evanescences Angel, Kimjuni2, spellcoats, josimar, Lance Murdock, ShadowRess, DreamSprite, and Reader.

**Additional disclaimer: The lyrics at the end of the epilogue are not mine.** They are the chorus from the song "**Guiding Me Home**" by Kutless, from which this story got its title. I listened to this song countless times while writing this story. (Music greatly helps me write, and this song will forever belong to this story for me.) If you feel like listening to it, you can hear it here: youtube DOT com/watch?v=Uljikp4HdVs

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**Epilogue - Guiding Me Home**

It was nearly a year after the end of the war that Ursa stood with Hakoda in a gentle snowfall and reaffirmed to him, and everyone watching, that she would forever share her life with him.

Aside from the Water Tribe, there were many other familiar faces that had gathered at the South Pole to witness their wedding ceremony. A lot of them stood shivering in their layers of clothes, unused to the frigid temperatures. Ran and Mila were there, their small baby swaddled in Mila's arms. Standing next to them was Iroh. The Duke had arrived with Longshot and Smellerbee, and they all stood with Teo. Zuko, Katara, and Sokka were all in the very front with all of their friends-and in some cases, future family: Aang, Suki, Mai, and several others, including Toph, who had come despite hating being made blind by all the snow and ice. ("Are you kidding me? How could I miss this? It gives me the chance to pick on Sokka and Zuko for being brothers now.")

Ran and Mila were there, their small baby swaddled in Ran's arms. Standing next to them was Iroh. The Duke had arrived with Longshot and Smellerbee, and they stood with Teo. And Misaki had made the journey from Huang. Hunched over and totally blind now, she had laughed when Ursa expressed concern that she would be well making the journey. "My dear Ursa, I made it through a Fire Nation prison. Do you think a little snow is going to stop me?"

Azula was not there. She was not well enough, or safe enough to others, to leave the asylum. But Ursa was still taking things step by step with her, and she saw progress as the weeks passed.

Ursa looked around at the faces of her friends and family, including all of the Water Tribe who had come to mean so much to her. Tamoru and his wife, Ronook holding the son who had been born while he was away at war, Ornu's widow and children, Mikko and his wife and their little daughter Halla, and all of the other men and their families. She didn't know where her life would have gone had she never met these people. She was glad that she never had to know.

The ceremony was a mix of some Water Tribe and some Fire Nation traditions, but it was very simple. There was an exchange of vows—vows that Hakoda and Ursa had long ago made to each other, but which they now professed in front of their loved ones.

_"Just words_," she had told Hakoda once, when she had been disillusioned and distrustful.

They were no longer just words. They were all of the promises that Hakoda had already proven he would keep. They were all of the spoken expressions of love that Ursa had for Hakoda. She knew, without any doubts, that this _would _last. Not because of words at a ceremony, but because of the commitments and choices they had made a long time ago and would continue to make for the rest of their lives.

Hakoda hadn't been kidding when he had once told Ursa that in the Southern Tribe, weddings were there so that everyone could acknowledge and celebrate the union between two people. _Celebrate _was the key word. During her time in the Southern Tribe, Ursa had seen the kind of festivities that they had. They were loud and joyous, and this was no exception.

After the ceremony, they all ate and talked and laughed together. The moment Ursa sat down, Mikko's daughter plopped herself in Ursa's lap and grinned up at her. "Congratulations, Aunt Ursa! Will you tell me a story now?"

Several of the other children within hearing range immediately perked up and looked over at Ursa.

Ursa laughed and Mikko picked Halla up off of her lap. He hung her upside down, bringing a squeal from Halla. "Not today, snowflake," Mikko told her. "Aunt Ursa should get her wedding day off from telling stories." He set her on her feet and shooed her over to the other children. "Go get into some mischief."

"Mikko!" his wife exclaimed.

"Uh, good mischief!" he called after the group of children as they raced away through the village.

It wasn't until late into the evening that Ursa and Hakoda retreated to their igloo and spent the rest of the night alone.

"So," Hakoda said when they were finally settling into sleep, "is there anything you want to do? Anything in life, I mean, that you haven't had a chance to do yet."

Ursa considered. "Well, maybe one thing."

Hakoda looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Ice dodging," she said.

His eyebrows rose higher. "Ice dodging," he echoed.

Ursa shrugged. "It sounds adventurous."

Hakoda laughed. "Haven't you had enough adventure?"

"It sounds like _fun _adventure, which is a great deal different from a lot of the adventures I've had in my life."

Hakoda grinned. "You've just been listening to the older boys talking about going ice dodging with their fathers soon."

She returned his smile. "Maybe. Maybe you have, too."

"All right. Tomorrow we can go ice dodging, weather permitting."

The next morning was clear and bright, and they took their boat out into the ocean to go ice dodging. The cold air whipped across the parts of Ursa's face not covered up, and she breathed in the smell of the sea. She helped Hakoda maneuver the boat around the ice, exhilaration sweeping over her.

_"…life is like riding an ocean wave. You can't control where it goes, and sometimes all you can do is steer your boat as best you can. And maybe sometimes you'll crash into an iceberg. Then you just have to pick up all the pieces you can, find a way home, and build another boat."_

The words the Hakoda had spoken to her so long ago flooded her mind as they pulled around another chunk of ice. She knew if they weren't careful, their boat would end up smashed on a rock, but she wasn't afraid. When she glanced the expression on Hakoda's face, she knew he was just as elated as she was. They were still young, after all; surely they should get a chance to have some _good _thrills.

Besides, there was something liberating to her about doing this with Hakoda. It _was _fun, but it was also symbolic of her life with him. The trust, the way they worked so well together, a landmark of how far they had come. Her own words floated through her memory, like a ghost of the distant past.

_"I don't know how to let go. I don't know how to forgive myself, and I've been wandering for so long that I don't know if I have any idea what home _is, _let alone how to get back to it."_

And Hakoda's response. _"That's when you have people you trust to help you find your way. Those are the people who will come find you even if you steal _their _boat and deliberately ram it into an iceberg."_

She had found those people, too. She knew that if she and Hakoda were to make a mistake and crash their boat, they would have people coming to look for them.

She thought back through her life with Hakoda, all of the moments that had led her to where she was right then. He had shared so much with her. Laughter and sorrow, trust and kindness, patience and faith, and most of all, an unconditional love—first of a concerned stranger, then of a friend, then of a lover and husband.

When she hadn't known where she fit in, when she hadn't known how to find her way to a place of belonging, his love had been the light that had guided her home.

_**~ FIN ~**_

_**

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**_

_"You say that you love me _

_Always and forever_

_Say that you love me _

_I know I will never _

_Deserve all the love that you show_

_It's the light that is guiding me home"_


End file.
